Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and make no profit from this story

Chapter 10: The Depression Suite

Hermione gave up trying to sleep at 4am. Every time she closed her eyes Dolhov's expression as his head slid from his body would flash across her retinas jerking her awake. Quietly donning her running gear she grabbed her wand, Order cloak and sword, creeping silently from the room. The common room was abandoned when she reached it, the only light coming from the few embers left in the fire. The room was a mess, clearly the house elves had had other things to worry about distracting them from their usual duties. She quickly performed a few cleaning spells to reduce the mess to a manageable proportion so they would be able to rest without worrying themselves.

The castle was alive with activity, patrols passed at frequent intervals, mostly of Ministry Aurors. Hermione wished she had brought her map along as she dodged from one passageway to another trying to reach the Room of Requirement. She barely made it into the Room before an Auror rounded the corner to the passageway outside. Looking around the room she set her things down on a provided table before beginning her laps around the indoor track the room provided today.

Once her lungs began to burn she jogged back to her sword and the room changed again. It took on the appearance of a dank alley, complete with dark figures skulking. Hermione carved a path through the opponents the room provided constantly concentrating on making them more and more difficult. It had been some time since she had practiced wearing the Order of the Phoenix garb but using the protections of the cloak came back easily. She knew Sirius entered at some point but her mind dismissed him just as quickly so she was slightly surprised to find him watching when she finally turned to leave.

"How long have you been there?" She didn't make eye contact as she pushed her hair once more behind her ears.

"Long enough. Feel any better?" Sirius stayed against the wall waiting for her to come to him. He watched as her shoulders slumped and she shuffled towards him.

"I can't get it out of my head. His face. Both his faces. Did I tell you I've killed him before? In my other life. That time I got this," she lifted her shirt to show a long scar running from hip to hip. "They told me about how he tortured and murdered my parents and I was so furious. All I could think about was killing him, hurting him like he had hurt me. I used the Cruciatus on him, successfully. The only time I used an Unforgivable. I felt the darkness it left in me, I feel it every day." He pulled her to him as she began to shake. Not a tear fell but her guilt was tangible to them both. After a time she pulled away, her mask back on. "I don't want this for you Sirius. You and the others, none of you should have to face this. I don't want any of you to feel the guilt and the grief. You can still back out. Dumbledore will let you leave the Order, you can convince James and Lily and Remus not to join. You can escape the darkness."

"You know that's not going to happen, love. We will not abandon you to face this fight alone. I won't deny that I would rather avoid the things I'm certain are coming, but I will not turn my back and force others to carry my burden, least of all you. I love you Hermione Jane Granger, and I will stand beside you until the end." His tone was fierce, almost harsh, and he didn't realize what he'd said until Hermione froze. They stared at each other both shocked at Sirius' admission. He recovered first. "I mean it, even if this isn't how I meant to tell you. I love you, and I'll stand by your side no matter the cost."

He only had to wait a minute more before Hermione broke into a beautiful smile.

"I love you too Sirius Orion Black. I wish I could deny it, push you away, but I'm not strong enough for that. There is no one I'd rather have at my side, until the end."

By dinner the Great Hall had been cleared of the injured and the student body had gathered. Most were silent, everyone's eyes drawn to the empty spots in the rows. No one could help but notice there were no gaps in the Slytherin table, the only house to escape without a casualty. When Dumbledore stood the hushed whispers became grave silence.

"Yesterday we suffered a grave tragedy. Eleven of our number fell to the darkness, and three more remain on the brink. The blame for this atrocity lies with Lord Voldemort." Some of the students flinched, the fear of his name already building. "He attacked where he would do the most damage, where the fewest could fight back. His goal was to instill fear, to incite panic and to divide us. We must not let him. Voldemort completely lacks pity and remorse. We must fight him with what he does not understand. Love and unity, loyalty and compassion, are what will allow us to survive this threat. In the days ahead many of you will be faced with the choice between what is just and what is easy. I hope the memories of your fellow students will give you the courage and incentive to choose what is right. Remember them and stand against the darkness that threatens our very way of life." Dumbledore paused and Hermione looked around seeing a mixture of awe, fear and grim determination on the faces around her.

"Before we begin dinner I have a few announcements. Tomorrow classes will be cancelled for a memorial service for the fallen. I would hope you all choose to attend." Dumbledore's eyes skimmed over the Slytherin table before continuing. "Professor Baine has offered to lead defense classes. They will run Monday and Thursday evenings from 7-9pm. Anyone who wishes is welcome to participate. Also, I am afraid in light of yesterday all further Hogsmead visits and Quidditch matches have been cancelled." There were some discontented murmurs at this but most knew two of the dead were from the Hufflepuff team and would have been playing next weekend had the attack never happened. "Now that is enough time spent on these disheartening announcements, please eat." Dumbledore spread his arms and food appeared on the tables. Hermione stared at it unmoving. She had not eaten since lunch the previous day and still felt no desire to. She looked down to discover her plate full. She glanced over at Sirius who was filling his own plate.

"You have to eat love. You're going to be no good to anyone if you don't. Don't try to argue," he cut her off as she opened her mouth to protest. "I know you haven't eaten since the Three Broomsticks, and you barely got anything there because you left halfway to go get that book."

"I suppose you're right." Hermione picked up her fork and began taking small bites. The pair looked up at the soft chuckles coming from their friends.

"Who would have guessed Sirius would be the level headed one in their relationship?" James asked jerking his thumb at them.

"Certainly not I," Remus shook his head trying to keep the smile from his face. "Padfoot would find the only girl who is more stubborn then him." Hermione glared at the both of them as Sirius grinned and threw his arm around her. Hermione relaxed against him and allowed the boys their moment of levity, knowing they needed it after what they had seen the previous day.

Cassius Rosier fought not to tremble as he knelt at the feet of his master. He was glad that at least no other was present to witness his punishment.

"I am very displeased Rosier, I sent you to lead the attack on Hogsmead because I believed you capable of carrying out such a simple task, but you allowed nine of my followers to be killed, and another three captured." The Dark Lord's voice never rose above general conversational levels but his tone sent chills down the prone man's spine.

"I am sorry my lord. There was a girl, she killed all nine, and she had a sword. We did not expect a student to be versed in sword combat. She beat Dolhov easily my lord."

"Excuses!" Voldemort roared. Rosier collapsed as excruciating pain overcame him. It seemed to go on forever, pain becoming his entire existence. "They were school children! They killed almost as many of you as you did of them! That is completely unacceptable! It should have been a great victory, not a draw!" The last thing Rosier saw as his vision faded into red was the look of fury on his master's face.

Lucius Malfoy looked on in terror at the mental torture Rosier was undergoing. When finally the screaming stopped and Rosier woke Malfoy saw the raw terror on his face as the elder Death Eater realized what had happened, his eyes darting from Death Eater to Death Eater. Voldemort rarely invaded the minds of his followers, but it was a punishment feared above any other and the pain experienced there was said make all others pale in comparison. Voldemort looked down in contempt at the man at his feet and levitated Rosier upward, grabbing his face and forcing a vial potion that appeared as liquid silver down his throat. The Dark Lord let the unfortunate man fall as he began to convulse and turned to address the room.

"Rosier failed me. He is the reason I have lost thirteen soldiers. As his punishment he is now the ultimate soldier. This potion removes the weakness you all seem to suffer from in abundance, including pain, injury and emotion. The only side effect of the potion is a slow death as the body wears itself out at a greatly increased rate. Any other who fails will join Rosier and become my ultimate weapon."

Malfoy watched in horror as Rosier rose smoothly from the ground. He showed no signs of the torture he had been under for the past hour. His eyes were terrifying; they seemed filled with the liquid of the potion. The veins surrounding them stood dark against the pale skin of the face as blank and emotionless as stone.

"What do you command my lord?" The voice was not Rosier's, instead sounding inhuman.

"I want you to cause the terror you failed to yesterday. Go to Diagon Alley, kill as many as you can." Rosier bowed before apparenting away. "The rest of you, I want to know everything about this girl. I want to know who her family is, who her friends are. No one stands in my way and lives to tell the tale. I will make her pay." The Death Eaters recognized their dismissal and all but ran to escape being the last in the room with the angry tyrant.

After dinner Hermione made her way to Dumbledore's office, followed by Sirius, Lily, James and Remus. She knew there was an Order meeting tonight and she could not think of a way to prevent the remaining trio from taking the oaths. She knocked on the Headmaster's door, entering at his command.

"Ah, you're all here, excellent. We must be on our way; the meeting starts in just a moment." Dumbledore handed James, Lily and Remus a slip of paper.

"We're going to my house?" James looked up in surprise. "If you've been having meetings at my house how did I now know?"

"The meeting place of the Order of the Phoenix is under a Fidelius charm. You could have walked into the middle of a meeting and not realized it. Now, through the floo with you." The students hurried to comply. Hermione stepped through to find Susan waiting on the other side. She couldn't bring herself to meet the other woman's eyes, instead stepping aside to admit the others.

"I don't blame you dear." Hermione's eyes snapped up at the words. "I know you've tried to keep my son safe, and Albus is correct, this is his decision to make." She gave the younger woman a small smile which Hermione returned. Soon enough everyone had arrived and was following their hostess to the meeting room.

Dumbledore drew Hermione to one side before they entered the room. "I wish to make a request of you my dear. It seems everyone knows of your part in the defense yesterday, and it would help greatly if you would agree to assist Professor Baine with his defense classes."

"Of course sir, whatever is needed. If my being there brings in more students then I'll do it gladly. I don't want to be the only one fighting next time." It was a grim sign that neither said there would not necessarily be a next time.

Hermione and Sirius took their usual seats while the remaining trio was directed to the front by Dumbledore. The time-traveller gripped Sirius' hand tightly as she watched her friends pledge to the Order and she saw tears in Susan's eyes across the room. Once James, Lily and Remus had their cloaks and medallions and were seated Dumbledore took his place at the front of the room.

"You all know about the events of yesterday. Voldemort has openly declared himself and by attacking students has demonstrated the lengths he will go to, to incite panic. We must use the outrage resulting from this attack to recruit new members to our cause. This may seem cold, but we need numbers if we are to stand any chance in this fight. Everyone must look for those who are the most outspoken, the most outraged. We must gain every ally we can. We cannot limit ourselves either." His eyes turned to the students. "I want the five of you to assess the students. I will not approach any until they have graduated, but I request that you determine who are the likely candidates." Hermione gave a curt nod, having already given a list of every member she had knowledge of.

"I have more to add Albus," Moody rose from his seat. "Today at 0930 a lone Death Eater apparented into the middle of Diagon Alley. Cassius Rosier managed to kill five and cause a good bit of damage to several stores before he was killed. The preliminary autopsy revealed some sort of potion in his system, we are still investigating it but it appeared to make him immune to pain." The Order members looked shocked and Hermione grimaced, remembering mentions of the 'kamikaze' potion that had been a favorite of Voldemort's during the first war.

The rest of the meeting went in usual fashion. Different members spoke on recruiting efforts, gathered intelligence, Ministry efforts and a range of other topics. Hermione tried her best to pay attention but her interest rested in what would occur after the meeting.

When the meeting came to a close Dumbledore took the lead once more.

"I have some unhappy news to finish with this evening. Tomorrow morning a memorial will be held for those who died at Hogsmead. Unfortunately it has become a nothing more than the Ministry's chance for some good publicity. Hermione, we all did our best to keep your involvement a secret but they are set on recognizing you. I am unsure of exactly what it will involve but you are to receive some sort of award." Hermione groaned and Sirius put a protective arm around her. Everyone knew this would only increase Voldemort's interest in the girl. "Thank you all for attending, we will meet again next week at this time."

Hermione waited until only what she had dubbed the 'Horcrux hunters' remained before she stood. Everyone followed her to the dining room where they took seats around the table.

"More students, perfect." Moody grumbled casting a withering glance at the newest additions.

"You know why they are here Alastor, Hermione told you of what happens, they are trustworthy and we need a few more trustworthy members." Hermione smiled and turned to her friends.

"The order was formed to fight Voldemort, but with a group that size it is sometimes difficult to trust everyone. Those present are the most trusted, and they all know about my past. There are some things I know that must be acted on in secret." They all listened intently as she explained what Horcruxes were and what the group had accomplished already.

"The only other I know of as a definite is the diary of Tom Marvolo Riddle. In my time Riddle had given it to Lucius Malfoy for safe keeping, but I doubt Malfoy is high enough in the ranks for Voldemort to trust that far."

"I agree, in fact before the news Moody just gave us I would have named Rosier as Voldemorts most trusted lieutenant. I would theorize that Cassius was the leader of the attack on Hogsmead which Voldemort now views as a failure, due to your involvement Hermione. This could be his new punishment for failure."

"I agree sir. In my time the potion had gained the nickname 'kamikaze' potion because it burns through the body quickly, killing whoever is dosed with it. He did not employ in during the second war because his original potion master died and Snape claimed not to know how to make it."

"So who has the diary now?" Gideon asked.

"I'd guess Riddle himself has it. I believe he will give it to Malfoy in a few years, but we can't wait for that, we have to figure out where he's stashed it now." Hermione was impatient to have all the Horcruxes destroyed.

The remainder of the evening was spent discussing the possibility of finding Hufflepuff's cup, and what of Ravenclaw or Gryffindor's could be the last Horcrux. By the time everyone had had their say it was well past midnight. The students said their goodbyes and followed the headmaster back through the floo.

It was a sleepy group that sat waiting for the ceremony to begin the next morning. Hermione let her head rest on Sirius shoulder determined to get in a small nap during the Ministry speeches. Down the line James wasn't even trying to stay awake and soft snores were drawing glares from those seated nearby. Hermione perked up slightly when Dumbledore took the podium and Lily shoved James almost out of his seat to wake him.

"Since there are many who wish to be heard today I will keep my address brief. Saturday we witnessed the evil that is Lord Voldemort." Hermione sighed as almost everyone flinched. "We must unite and stand for what is right. We must fight to retain our freedom. We must not give in to this tyrant. And we must remember those we have lost." Everyone looked surprised when Dumbledore retook his seat. They clearly all expected more from the aging headmaster.

The next hour dragged on as ministry officials took the podium. Each said almost nothing in the most longwinded fashion they could manage. Hermione smiled inwardly when she thought of how her younger self would react to her inattention. Likely not well. She did perk up when the Minister for Magic was called forward.

Millicent Bagnold was a slip of a woman with dark hair and a prominent nose, but the way she held herself suggested an ability to command attention. Indeed, as soon as she took the podium the buzz from the crowd died almost completely.

"Long have we heard rumors and whispers of a growing evil. Saturday's attack was a declaration of war and the ministry has not mistaken it for less. Lord Voldemort claims to target only those whose blood is not pure but do not be fooled. He has a taste for cruelty and torture and anyone who does not share these affinities will be punished. None will escape his wrath and if we let it his taint will spread throughout our world." She glared at the crowd over her pronounced nose and seemed to challenge anyone to say otherwise. When the crowd remained silent she continued.

"Saturday we lost eleven of our the youth of our nation, all taken far before their time. We must honor their memories by not giving in to the evil that caused their deaths. Today I would like to honor one who went above and beyond for her fellow students. Would Hermione Granger please come forward." The young witch sighed before standing and slowly making her way to the stage. "Miss Granger did more than any other to protect her fellow students at great risk to herself. In these dark times she is a pillar of light we all can look to for example and inspiration. In honor of her actions I award Miss Granger the Order of Merlin, third class."

The crowd roared its approval at the announcement as the minister shook Hermione's hand and pinned the medal to her. Hermione forced a smile for the reporters whose flashes were almost one continuous blinding light.

"Some may disapprove of your methods Miss Granger, but none can deny that you saved your fellow students. When you graduate this year there will be a spot waiting in the Auror ranks should you choose to take it. You are a credit to the traits of your house." The comments were made softly to not be overheard, then the minister sent the time-traveler on with another handshake and smile. Hermione made her way back to her seat more quickly, her mind working furiously. Hermione was so used to the ministry being corrupt to the point of ineffectiveness that considering they might serve some purpose was unsettling. She paid little attention to the rest of the ceremony, which included the revelation of a monument engraved with the eleven names. Her mind was occupied with thoughts of graduation, and what would become of her crusade post-Hogwarts.

First off, I am very sorry it's been so long since I updated. I have no reason, it just happened. This is the only chapter I currently have finished, so it may be some time before my next update, mainly because I want to finish a few chapters so I can go back to updating once a week. I promise to do my best. - Mo