Sheldon had always maintained that he had no interest in coitus. It wasn't that he had no desire to pass on his superior DNA - quite the contrary, in fact. Sheldon was simply waiting for the day that he could be cloned - for what could be more perfect than a child made exactly in his image, unsullied by the DNA of any other, and brought into this world without the fickle complications of emotional attachments? Besides, Sheldon had never met any human female to whom he felt attracted - emotionally or physically. This word, 'attraction', was a mystery to him - and one that bemused him to no end as he watched his friends and coworkers vie for the attentions of the opposite sex.

So naturally, Sheldon was thoroughly unprepared for what he felt as he lay, exactly 3866 miles north of his favorite spot on a particular couch in Pasadena, shivering and half naked under a mound of blankets next to his three best friends, nay, his three only friends, in the entire world. At first he thought it must be a physiological reaction to the extreme cold - but although he was a physicist, Sheldon was also well-versed in biology, and this explanation was purely illogical. And then, suddenly it hit him. Could it possibly be? It had been almost 20 years since he had first skimmed through the first edition of Campbell and Reece's Biology (the eighth edition was currently sitting untouched upon a shelf inside his office. Oh, how Sheldon missed his office.), but the symptoms were unmistakable. As a ten-year-old genius reading a textbook authored for a far older audience, he of course hadn't understood it then, and he certainly didn't understand it now. Could this possibly be... arousal?

Sheldon was incredibly confused. Having identified his physiological response, what could possibly be the source? There were no attractive females (or any females at all, for that matter) in sight - not that Sheldon had ever bothered to gauge attractiveness. Perhaps, unclothed, Wolowitz looked slightly like a female? Sheldon shuddered - the thought of being attracted to Wolowitz was repulsive, regardless of his gender. That couldn't possibly be it. But what then, or who?

As Sheldon shivered violently, a pair of hands grasped him firmly from behind. As back met stomach, he could feel the warmth slowly entering his body. Ah, sweet warmth. Sheldon had longed to be back in Pasadena, seated happily on his favorite spot on the couch, positioned just right so there wasn't even a draft from the window - but perhaps out here, tonight, in the bitter cold, he could think of this as his favorite spot.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing?" Sheldon whispered angrily. He was happy to be warm, and feeling surprisingly content, but still - what would his meemaw say if she could see him now?

"Just trying to keep you warm, buddy. Wouldn't want you to freeze to death." Leonard whispered back.

Oh. That was who.