Transformers Insights: Sideswipe

Most bots don't believe that we're twins. Brothers, ok, that's possible, but twins? 'You don't even look the same,' they say. So what if we're not identical?

We are two halves of a spark. We can feel each other's emotions and communicate without words. But I don't know whether it's a good thing that we can't read each other's thoughts.

It'd be weird if I said that a spark loved itself, so I'll say that we love each other. (Not that I'd ever tell Sunny, though.) I mean, we're all each other have left of our former lives when everything was still peaceful and happy.

Was.

It's been so long; I don't really remember our creators. As far as I can recall, Sunny and I had been left to fend for ourselves, depending on each other to stay functioning to see the sun rise the next day. So, unlike most of the other Autobots, our previous jobs weren't so 'decent'. We became traders of questionable legitimacy. There were some things that I did that I really regretted, and when I'd gotten time to think about it, I realized that the common thing among these incidents was that I had put my brother in danger.

Our engines rumbled quietly as we made our way back home.

"…"

"Yeah, Sunny?"

"How much did we get?" My brother asked quietly.

"Fifty thousand credits. And we even got it the legal way," I replied, with no small amount of satisfaction.

"Not the goods, no, we didn't." His voice was uneasy.

"Relax bro," I reassured him. "We got the stuff from an abandoned ship in the junkyard. Nobody wants that stuff- that's why it's called 'junk'- and nobody's gonna care less if it's gone."

"That junk yard was someone's junk yard. In case you didn't notice, all the ships around us had been stripped to their skeletons. The owners of the junkyard had removed all the parts that were of some value and left the rest behind. And we just stole some hull plating from one really big ship. They're bound to notice."

Although we often dealt in the black market, Sunny was the one who'd tried, as far as possible, to keep us walking the fine line between legitimacy and illegitimacy so we could stay out of jail. His sense of right and wrong was better than mine.

"Well… What can they do? The hull plating is with the government now. They can't just ask to have it back."

Sunny lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. I could tell his conscience was bothering him. Almost as if he'd read my mind, he spoke up.

"This time, it's not my conscience that's bothering me," he said quietly. "It's just that I've got a funny feeling that something's about to…"

As the words came out of his vocalizer, I knew he was right.

With a deafening roar as oxygen was sucked up, the fiery bouquet of flames and fireballs burst forth with a kind of twisted beauty. It would have been nice to look at, had I not been speeding towards it at more than two hundred miles an hour. I braked and swerved for all the good it did- the explosion picked me up and tossed me aside as a human child would have done so with an unwanted toy car. I tumbled front bumper over back bumper, and thank Primus I managed to transform before I smashed my hood in on a lamppost. I did a back flip that would have shamed a human Olympic gymnast and skidded back a few feet, bringing out my pile drivers and holding them up in a defensive position.

Then I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He had managed to transform, but he was sprawled out in front of a lamppost with a Sunstreaker-shaped dent in it. I would have found it funny if there had not been a huge puddle of energon around his head.

"Sunny!" I shouted, retracting my pile drivers as I sprinted over.

If only I had been a little faster.

A hulking figure stepped from the shadows, seized my brother's neck and hauled him to his feet. Already damaged, Sunstreaker weakly struggled to pry off the thick fingers as energon bubbled at his lips. I growled, sliding out my pile drivers again. Just then, a smooth voice cut in from behind me, making me stop in my tracks.

"Don't move. Or he dies." Cold, and straight to the point. The face belonging to the voice came into my line of sight as the mech walked up from behind me. He was tall, broad and elegant-looking, with a black paint job and blood red streaks highlighting the sharp points of his armor.

I growled, revving my pile drivers. "Let him go, or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?" The mech laughed, but his crimson optics sparkled dangerously. "You're in no position to make threats here."

I bared my denta, not daring to do anything else. The mech who currently held my helpless brother in his grip looked as if he was waiting for anything that could remotely pass as an excuse to crush Sunstreaker's throat.

"Who are you?" I demanded, trying to hide the growing desperation in my voice as my brother's optics started to flicker and his struggling grew weaker and weaker. If that brute was blocking the main energon tube leading to Sunstreaker's processor, he would be dead soon even if I didn't move. "And what do you want?"

The mech fixed me with a cold stare.

"Who I am is not important. All you need to know is that I was sent by the owner of the junkyard which you stole seventy thousand credits worth of valuable metal from. And he wants the metal back," he replied, apparently unaware that we'd already sold the metal… for less, unfortunately.

On cue, I gave him my practiced 'I don't know what you're talking about' look. He narrowed his optics.

"Don't give me that."

My expression didn't change.

"My patience has a limit," his optics narrowed further, "and that's now." He snapped his fingers, and the big mech wrapped his other hand around my brother's throat and started to crush the delicate metal there.

Sunstreaker didn't vocally express his pain. Or maybe he couldn't. His optics flared, and energon spurted from his lips. His feeble kicks had barely any effect on the mech who was strangling him.

"Stop!" I started forward. "Let him go-"

Suddenly there was a gun barrel pressed to Sunstreaker's temple and I stopped dead again.

"Maybe you forgot what I said," the black and red mech said quietly. I hissed through clenched denta, and a hint of a cruel smile formed on his lips.

"Finally, a reaction that isn't fake." He snapped his fingers again and the big mech proceeded to drop kick my brother. He landed twenty yards away, sunny streaks of his paint job scratched on the pavement. He normally would have thrown a fit over the dismal state his usually pristine paint was in, and the fact that he didn't worried me.

"The metal," I started in a controlled voice, "is not with us anymore. I can't give it back."

"Then where is it?" The mech flicked his gaze to his accomplice and the big brute started over to where Sunstreaker lay.

"With the government," I replied.

The black and red mech cursed. No one could get stuff back from the government by just claiming it was theirs but it was stolen.

"Well," he said, with his hand on his chin as if he was thinking, but anyone could tell that he was seething inside.

"The alternate order I was given in case I couldn't get the metal back was… Oh yes," he growled sadistically. "Make sure they won't be back. Finish him off!"

I was then subject to the worst torture in the universe- standing by helplessly and watching my brother get brutally beaten. I had tried several times, to stop them, but I'd only end up with a gun pointed at my head or my brother's head. I felt every blow rain down on Sunstreaker's mangled frame.

I was the one who cried out in pain when his arm was wrenched off at the elbow and tossed at my feet. Energon poured into a lake, then a river. It was accompanied by the steady sound of metal hitting metal, and one crumpling. Giddy, I held my head between my head and tried not to fall. One of his optics shattered. I felt half-blinded. A horrific shriek echoed down the empty road. Half of it was the noise of Sunstreaker's armor being ripped and the other half came from my vocalizer. Clang- a dented and scratched piece of yellow armor landed at my feet; my knees hit the ground. Another clang- another piece of my brother's armor landed before me; I was down on my hands and knees.

"Stop," I pleaded, now reduced to begging. "Please, stop…" Clang. "It was my idea, I made him do it please…" Clang. "Let me take his place…"

Silence.

I looked up, cleansing fluid pooling in my optics that I refused to let fall. Sunstreaker was in a heap close to me. If I reached out, I could have touched his exposed internals. But I didn't. The sight of my brother beaten beyond recognition paralyzed me. I was almost afraid to look him in the optics, afraid of the accusation I might find there. But look into them I did, and when our gazes met, he gave me a weak smile despite his state of semi-consciousness.

"Good," he whispered hoarsely, only for me to hear. "They didn't hurt you."

What the Pit?! I wanted to scream. There were a lot more things that I wanted to say, but the black and red mech chuckled darkly.

"I heard that with twins, you take out one and the other won't last long. Now I'm seeing it with my own optics. And so," he grabbed one of my audio horns and wrenched my head back so that I was looking up at him, "I will not waste my time killing you. I will let your brother's death do the job for me, slowly and painfully." He cackled and the big mech brought down his foot on the center of Sunstreaker's back.

There was a sickening crunch, and I can only guess that he stomped hard enough to damage my brother's spark because my spark lurched painfully. It felt as if half of it was slipping away. The agony was so intense it hurt like I'd never hurt before. I convulsed, twisting out the black mech's grasp and clawing wildly at my chest plate as if I was trying to gouge out the pain and kill myself in the process.

I ended up curled up in a fetal position on the ground, shivering uncontrollably. I could feel myself blacking out. Out of the corner of my optic, I saw the ebony mech prod my brother with his foot.

"He's not dead. Not yet, anyway." He subspaced a huge gun and took aim. I tried desperately to get my body to move and failed miserably. Even the smallest twitch of my fingers made it feel like my internals were being torched. Alarms were going off on my processor.

Thank Primus it wasn't my imagination.

"Slaggit! The police!" I heard the black and red mech hiss, and I knew I had to act now or… Well, that went without saying. With a sudden burst of strength and determination coupled with a barbaric roar, I leapt up and tackled him. His shot went way over our heads as his gun spun out of his grip and across the floor. The flashing blue and red lights grew rapidly closer. He scrambled up, transformed and sped away with his accomplice, leaving a cloud of dust and curses in his wake.

I stood for a moment, heaving in air to cool my burning systems. Then my world began to tip, the stars became blurry white streaks, the pretty blue and red lights flashed as they approached, the pavement suddenly took up a large part of my vision, then… Nothing.

I woke up to an orange ceiling and a blurry white blob appeared and hovered over my head.

"Good. You're online."

"Mmblrb…" I tried to reply. My vision gradually sharpened and The Blob turned out to be a surly white medic. He was scowling at me whilst waiting for me to become coherent. The grey chevron on his head just made him look fiercer, but his optics were kind. I grinned sheepishly at him, my usual evasive tactics immediately kicking into action as my processor started churning with ideas on how to escape the legal consequences of my actions. Turns out he didn't really care.

"Up and at 'em. You're good to go," he said gruffly as he helped me to sit up. I did feel a lot better and as I got up, I glanced at my body and the glossy paint that usually came with it and I smiled gratefully at the medic.

"Thanks, doc." I then took a breath, steeling myself for the answer of the question I was about to ask. "Where's my brother?"

There was a pregnant pause.

"We… We're working on him."

I stood abruptly. "I want to see him."

The medic gestured and said quietly, "Follow me please."

We traveled at an agonizingly slow speed down the corridor, passing grim-faced medics along the way. I shivered. I didn't like the feel of this place.

The medic stopped suddenly and I almost crashed into him. Turning, he keyed in an access code on a door and stepped in.

This had to be the ICU ward. It was crowded, and medics dashed around, desperately trying to keep their patients functioning. I didn't need to look to locate Sunstreaker and I made a beeline for him. As I drew near, computer terminals that were hooked up to him that monitored his various systems came to life, beeping and flashing, attracting the attention of the medics. I dashed forward, pushing through the bunch of medics that had gathered around him like iron filings did with a magnet.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

"His systems are coming out of forced stasis lock too early! His repairs are unfinished- I don't know why this is happening…" One distracted medic bothered to reply without even taking his optics off his hands as he worked to stem the sudden gushes of energon and lubricant that spilled over what was left of Sunstreaker's paint job. I glanced up, suddenly feeling someone's gaze on me. It was the white medic who had escorted me to the ICU. His stare was so penetrating, it felt like he could see right through me. I met his optics briefly, but looked away quickly, feeling uncomfortable. He then spoke up.

"It's the proximity of the other half of his spark …"

"What?" The other medic looked up and I mimicked him, albeit more uncertainly.

The white medic met his colleague's gaze. "This is his twin-"

"Ah!" Sunstreaker cried out, his optics flashing as he onlined abruptly. His face contorted into a visage of pain and his back arched.

"Sunny!" I cried, grasping his shoulders. He sucked in deep intakes of air, fingers digging into the berth and denta gritted against the pain. Then his optics focused suddenly, and his gaze landed on me.

"S-Sides?" he breathed.

Momentarily forgetting that my brother was critically injured, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and broke down there and then.

"I-I'm so s-sorry…" I sobbed. "It was my idea… I s-shouldn't have! I-"

"Hush," my brother gently interrupted my blubbering, rubbing my back in soothing motions. That feeling that I was the younger of the two of us became even more pronounced than ever. "It's ok. I'm"- he winced- "I'll be ok when you get off and let the medics do their work…"

I jumped up, suddenly mortified. Noticing that the noise level had dropped considerably just made it worse.

"Sorry," I whispered, optics focused on the floor at my feet. Hearing a sniff, I looked up to see a femme medic wipe her optics. Cleansing fluid glistened on her fingers when she moved her hands away.

"Well," she said when she realized that everyone was staring at her. "Let's get down to this."

There was a murmur of agreement and I stepped back, out of the medics' way. I slipped out of the ICU and sat on some benches in the corridor, my gaze fixed on something through the wall.

I was startled back into reality by the sudden din coming from the ICU when the doors opened and the white medic strode out. He placed a red hand on my shoulder, preventing me from standing up.

"Don't worry, kiddo. He's gonna be ok."

I buried my face in my hands, completely swamped with relief and glad that I was sitting down.

"Thank Primus..." I murmured, my voice raspy with unexpressed emotion. "And thank you," I added, looking up at the white medic. It was then his turn to look away.

"I'm just doing my job," he replied gruffly. He subspaced an energon cube and handed it to me.

"Drink up," he ordered. "Your brother's recharging now. You may see him once you're done with that."

"Ok," I mumbled, disappearing behind the cube. I gulped the much-needed energon down, handed the empty cube back and eagerly got to my feet. I followed the medic back into the ICU ward, my mood considerably better than what it had been when I'd first gone in.

I hopped up onto the medical berth beside my brother. He looked so peaceful in his recharge. I ran a finger over his armor, checking the handiwork of the medics.

A noise made me look up, and I saw the medic closing the shutters around us.

"Give me a call when he comes online," he told me before stepping out to give us some privacy.

I sat quietly for a moment, watching my brother recharge. Then, I gently picked up his limp hand and held it between my own.

I reflected on the events of the solar-cycle. A new, raw emotion that I had never felt before had surfaced earlier when Sunstreaker's spark was damaged. It was cold, unadulterated, numbing, paralyzing fear.

I had been really scared. I was afraid that I'd lose the only mech in the universe that understood me, cared for me, loved me and was just there for me when I needed him. Suddenly determined to try my best to be what he was to me, I gave his hand a light squeeze.

"I'll never let you suffer again," I vowed quietly.

Sunstreaker shifted slightly, his fingers lightly closing around mine. He mumbled something unintelligible, but I had a funny feeling that it was my name when I saw the small smile that briefly graced his lips.

I sighed, suddenly feeling a kind of tired happiness that made my optics shutter. I carefully lowered my head down on my brother's chassis, grateful that Primus hadn't taken the solid pillar in my life away and left me to crumble, and I let the gentle hum of my brother's systems lull me into recharge.