Chapter 20: The Vrekasht

After what she had come to refer to in her mind as The Scare, Amanda had every intention of following her physician's orders to the letter. If that meant eating a special diet full of disgusting Vulcan food to give her child the nutrition he needed, so be it. If it meant taking twice as many hypos a day as before, she would do it. If that meant bed-rest, well damn it, she'd stay in bed.

But that didn't mean she had to like it.

With a frustrated sigh, Amanda tossed her PADD to the side, startling the gray cat that was curled up next to her. Large amber eyes reproachful, T'Lynn glared up at the human who had interrupted her nap.

"Sorry, T'Lynn," Amanda said, reaching over to scratch the cat under the chin. T'Lynn's eyes closed lazily as she purred, stretching out her neck to give Amanda better access. "I feel like I'll go crazy if I read another word."

She'd been stuck in bed for a whole week now. At first, it hadn't been so bad - her recent ordeal had left her anemic and exhausted, even with the iron supplement T'Ren had given her, and she'd been grateful for the excuse to sleep all day. And she'd secretly enjoyed it when Sarek brought her meals and kept her company, playing his ka'athyra for her until late in the night. But after the first few days of doing nothing but sleeping and reading, the novelty had worn off.

She wanted to start working on a new paper for the anthropological journal, but couldn't without access to the computer in her office, on which she had stored hundreds of downloaded books for note-taking. She wanted to work on the project she hoped to soon present to the Council, but the files she needed were on a data chip - which was also in her office. She knew without even asking that neither Sarek nor T'Shan would bring her the materials she required.

With another sigh, Amanda resignedly picked up her PADD. She'd have to make do with what she had - or rather, what her prison wardens allowed her to have.

Brow furrowed, she tried to concentrate on the text before her, but she hadn't gotten past the first sentence when the comm panel mounted next to the door sounded and a cool, female voice flowed throughout the room.

"Lady Amanda?"

"Yes, T'Shan?" Amanda called, setting aside the PADD again and moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"There is a... vrekasht... at the gates. She claims that she has an appointment with you, but I have received no word that you are expecting a visitor."

"Vrekasht." Amanda murmured the unfamiliar word under her breath, a frown tugging down the corners of her mouth. She had never encountered the Vulcan word before; while she was quite proficient in her husband's language, her handle of it was far from perfect. "Did she state her name?" she asked.

"She says her name is T'Aral." T'Shan's voice carried a note of skepticism, as if she thought the visitor might be lying. "Shall I summon the V'Kor?"

Amanda gasped, clapping a hand to her forehead. "Oh! T'Shan, let her in - there's no need to call the police."

She'd completely forgotten T'Aral would be coming today. The appointment had been scheduled weeks before, but recent events had driven it clean out of her mind.

"Shall I escort her up to your chamber?" T'Shan asked.

Amanda hesitated, then stood and went to the closet. She knew T'Shan would have the Vulcan equivalent of a fit, but she refused to greet a visitor from bed.

"No, T'Shan. I'm coming down," she replied, pulling out a set of dark-brown, gold-embroidered Vulcan robes that would accommodate her rounded belly.

There was a long silence on the other end of the comm link. When T'Shan spoke again, her tone was stiff.

"Your physician ordered bed-rest."

"No-o-o," Amanda said slowly as she closed the robes' fasteners, "T'Ren put me on light bed-rest. She said I'm allowed to walk around, as long as I don't do anything too demanding. It's you and Sarek who insist on keeping me in my bedroom like a prisoner. I'm coming down whether you like it or not."

The comm was silent, but Amanda knew the Vulcan woman was not done - and, sure enough, when she reached the bottom of the staircase five minutes later T'Shan was waiting for her.

"I insist that you return to bed at once," the Vulcan said firmly.

"No," Amanda said flatly. "If the doctor says it's fine, it's fine."

"T'Ren is an admirable physician, but on this issue I disagree with her," T'Shan said. "You are my charge, and I ask that you return to your bed."

"No," Amanda repeated, crossing her arms over over her chest and raising one eyebrow in a perfect imitation of her husband's. "Your concern for my well-being is appreciated. Really. But I can't stay in that bedroom a moment longer."

She knew Sarek wouldn't be happy when he returned home to find that she'd been out of bed - T'Shan would undoubtedly tell him - but after a week of being cooped up in their bedchamber, she was willing to take the risk.

T'Shan's lips pursed and her dark eyes narrowed in disapproval, but she did not protest further. Folding her hands together before her, she nodded once toward an archway to Amanda's left.

"She is waiting in the entrance chamber," she said. Then she turned to walk away; as she passed Amanda, the human distinctly heard her mutter, "Osu Sarek will be extremely displeased with me," under her breath before she disappeared into the corridor.

Pushing aside a pang of guilt - for she knew Sarek would be displeased with T'Shan - Amanda turned to the archway and entered the entrance hall.

The chamber was dimly lit by recessed lighting in the vaulted ceiling; all along the walls were statues, tapestries and vases placed on pedestals. Next to the entrance, a figure clad in simple black robes was inspecting a decorative pillar carved with ancient Vulcan glyphs.

"T'Aral?" Amanda stepped forward into the pool of light cast from above.

The Vulcan woman tensed in surprise before quickly turning around to face her.

"Lady Amanda," she said, regaining her composure, her shoulders relaxing as she folded her hands before her. "I did not know you were there."

Amanda smiled gently as she moved to stand across from T'Aral. "I'm sorry about the hold-up at the gates - things have been hectic around here and I forgot to tell the staff you'd be coming. The ambassador is quite strict about security and no one's allowed in without special permission."

"That is understandable," T'Aral said with a nod.

They stood there a moment in silence, observing each other. T'Aral looked like every other Vulcan woman Amanda had ever met; her slanted eyebrows and pointed ears made her indistinguishable from any other Vulcan, but the features that usually made other Vulcans look austere only enhanced her natural beauty. The only unusual thing about her appearance was her long, dark hair, which was pulled back and twisted into a simple bun rather than wound into one of the elaborate coifs most Vulcan women preferred.

"Perhaps we should begin," T'Aral said, breaking the silence and inclining her head toward Amanda.

"Oh - right," Amanda said, turning to the archway. "This way."

She led the Vulcan through the corridors until they arrived at her office. Going straight to her desk, she began to gather the PADDs scattered across its surface.

"Sorry about the mess," she said, dropping all but one of the PADDs into a desk drawer. "I haven't had the chance to clean up. My husband tells me my office always looks as if a Vulcan sandstorm blew through it, but I don't allow the servants to tidy it for me. I might lose something."

"It does bear quite a resemblance to the damage caused by a grazhiv-sahriv."

Amanda turned to reply, but stopped short. T'Aral was observing the chaos of her office, a smile curving her lips, dark eyes shining with amusement as she took in the toppled stacks of PADDs on every surface; the styluses littering the floor which she'd dropped and been unable, in her current condition, to pick up; the ornaments and figurines that cluttered her shelves and tabletops.

She had never seen a Vulcan smile before, and she found herself staring at the woman across from her, lips parted in surprise. T'Aral, seeming to sense her gaze, turned to look at her - and then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the smile was gone and her eyes were again masked.

"Such disorderliness is illogical. It must be difficult to find what you need in here," she said. Her tone was controlled and even, but Amanda saw the green blush creeping into the Vulcan's cheeks.

Amanda eyed T'Aral warily, but decided not to mention the strange incident. Perhaps she'd only imagined it. Vulcans don't smile, after all.

"Sarek says that too, but I know where everything is," she said, taking her seat behind the desk and gesturing for T'Aral to sit in a chair across from her. Once she was settled, Amanda began; "Still, my husband has been insisting for months that I hire an assistant to help with my work, and a few months ago he even gave me a list of assistants for hire from the Federation database. I was going to hire one of them, but then you were recommended to me by a friend. I believe you know Axana of Betazed?"

"I was her assistant for a brief amount of time," T'Aral explained. "But then I was called away from Betazed to see to personal matters."

"I'm astounded by your record," Amanda said, picking up a nearby PADD and calling up the file with a jab of her stylus. "You received high scores on the Vulcan Science Academy entrance exams and have worked for a number of important foreign dignitaries, as well as assisted in several important scientific discoveries." Amanda looked up at the Vulcan across from her. "Why in the wide galaxy are you working as an assistant? Surely there are better opportunities out there for you."

There was no mistaking it this time; the corners of T'Aral's mouth lifted in a bitter smile as she replied, "There are few employers willing to hire me."

"Why?" Amanda asked, puzzled.

T'Aral's smile faded away. She looked at Amanda thoughtfully for a moment, then said, "I am sure you have realized by now that even on Vulcan there are those who are considered lesser than others."

"How are you lesser than any other Vulcan?" Amanda asked, brows knitting together in a frown.

T'Aral's sardonic smile returned, but it did not reach her eyes, which glimmered with sadness as she softly replied, "My family is V'tosh t'shaukash."

Suddenly, everything made sense. T'Shan's suspicion of the visitor at the gates, T'Aral's odd behavior... Amanda leaned back in her chair, hands folded over her swollen belly as she studied the woman across from her. Several silent seconds ticked by before she spoke.

"They're Vulcans of Passion," she murmured.

T'Aral nodded once. "You are familiar with them."

"I've heard of them. My husband told me about them. The V'tosh t'shaukash rejected the teachings of Surak and live separate from the rest of the Vulcan population."

The Vulcan nodded slowly. "The V'tosh t'shaukash are looked down upon by most V'tosh t'olozhikaik - Vulcans of Logic. Although I aspire to convert to the ways of Surak and struggle to conceal my emotions, I am forever marked by their name. I, like them, am considered a vrekasht - an outcast. It is not easy to make one's way on Vulcan with such a disadvantage. Many potential employers refuse to even meet with me once they discover who my family is."

"I don't understand how a race that's supposed to be logical can treat their own kind that way." Amanda shook her head in disgust.

T'Aral raised one fine, slanted eyebrow. "Vulcans are not perfect. Even they have prejudices, and the V'tosh t'shaukash are an embarrassment to them. They are a reminder of what the V'tosh t'olozhikaik once were."

"Well." Amanda picked up the PADD displaying T'Aral's employment file and dropped it into her desk drawer with the others. Then she turned to meet the Vulcan's eyes directly. "I can guarantee you that I won't treat you like an inferior Vulcan. You're hired."

T'Aral shifted uneasily in her chair. "I was willing to meet with you when you contacted me because Axana encouraged me to, Lady Amanda, but perhaps it is best that I do not accept this position. Your bondmate is an important and influential politician - I doubt he would approve of your... consorting with me."

Amanda scoffed. "Sarek will say nothing about it. This is my decision, not his." Placing her hands on the armrests of her chair, she heaved herself to her feet and walked around the desk to stand before T'Aral. "I'm on bed-rest for the next two weeks, but I'll expect you to arrive at 0900 hours every morning. I recently wrote a thesis for an anthropological journal that's garnered quite a bit of attention and -"

"I read the thesis you speak of," T'Aral said, also standing. "It was quite... interesting."

"Yes, well... I'm still getting calls from journalists and people all over the galaxy who want me to give lectures. You'll need to sort through them and respond. I'm also working on several projects - new papers, things like that - and I'd appreciate your help with research. It's not terribly interesting, I'm afraid, but if the project I plan on presenting to the Council is approved, you're going to have a lot more to do."

"A project for the Council?" T'Aral repeated, tilting her head curiously. "What sort of project?"

Amanda went back to her desk and picked up a red data chip. Turning to T'Aral, she pressed it into the other woman's hand.

"Take a look at it," she said. "Any input you might have would be appreciated. I haven't shared it with anyone else yet, not even my husband."

T'Aral placed the chip in a deep pocket of her robes. "I will, my Lady," she said.

"If you're going to work for me, I have one rule," Amanda said, looking at the Vulcan sternly. "If you break the rule, you're fired."

"What is this rule?" T'Aral asked, eyebrows drawing together.

Amanda's seriousness melted away, replaced by a wide smile. "Never, ever call me 'my Lady' or 'Lady Amanda.' I get enough of that around here. Just call me Amanda."

"I will endeavor to follow this rule... Amanda." A smile flickered over T'Aral's lips, but with another flush of green blooming on her cheeks, it disappeared. "I should be going," she said, averting her eyes from the human's.

Amanda led T'Aral out of the office, through the corridors and back to the entrance chamber, where they said their goodbyes. When T'Aral had gone, Amanda turned to head back upstairs - only to find T'Shan blocking the archway, watching the human with subtle, but unmistakable disapproval written into every line of her face.

"Yes, yes, I'm going back to bed. No need to fret," Amanda said, taking a step toward the archway.

T'Shan did not move. "You hired her," she said. It was not a question.

"I did," Amanda said, folding her arms over her chest.

"You do realize what she is, do you not?" T'Shan asked in a low tone.

"I do. She's an over-qualified Vulcan who is now my assistant," Amanda coolly replied.

"She is an outcast."

"Yes - a vrekasht." She said the word contemptuously. "And I hired her anyway."

"Osu Sarek will not -"

"Osu Sarek is not my master," Amanda interrupted. "And he knows that."

Even as the words left her mouth, the front doors opened behind her again, filling the chamber with bright sunlight and letting in a hot, dry breeze that carried with it a fine cloud of sand into the entrance hall. Then the heavy doors closed again, leaving them in semi-darkness that was relieved only by the dim lighting overhead.

Amanda turned to face the doors, where Sarek stood frowning at her.

"You should be in bed," he said. His eyes darted from Amanda to T'Shan and back again. "Why are you down here?"

"I had an appointment with my new assistant," Amanda replied. In an effort to avoid further questions, she stepped forward to help Sarek out of his cloak. "You're home early. Not busy at the embassy, I suppose?"

She gave him her sweetest smile, but he was not fooled. Sarek turned to look sharply at T'Shan.

"You allowed her to come downstairs?" he asked.

T'Shan stiffened, her folded hands clasping each other tightly as her nostrils flared in indignation.

"I most certainly did not," she said. "But Lady Amanda, as you are well aware, has a will of her own."

Sarek's frown deepened. "Amanda, for the sake of our child, I ask you to return to bed. I will join you shortly."

Knowing she was lucky to get off so easy, Amanda decided not to push it. Flashing him another smile, she folded his cloak over one arm and said "Fine" before turning to leave the entrance hall.

She'd barely crossed over the threshold when she heard T'Shan whispering to Sarek, and though she was unable to discern the words, she knew what the elder woman was saying - and knew that when Sarek joined her in their bedchamber, he would have something to say about it.

XXXXX

By the time Sarek arrived at the bedroom he shared with his wife, Amanda had changed back into a nightgown and was sitting on the bed, her back against the headboard. The gray feline she had insisted on bringing with them from Earth was curled up in her lap, fast asleep. Amanda did not look up at his entrance; she absently stroked the animal's soft fur as she studied her PADD. But Sarek noted that her eyes were not moving; she was waiting for him to speak.

Sarek walked slowly from the door to the bed, his hands clasped behind his back, eyes trained on the floor as a small frown played at his mouth. When he stopped three feet away from her, Amanda finally spoke, but still did not take her eyes off the PADD screen.

"T'Shan told you," she said.

"She did." Sarek waited for a response, but Amanda resumed pretending to read. After a moment's pause, he let his hands fall to his sides and walked across the room to a chair next to the window, where his ka'athyra sat. Picking it up, he sat down and placed it in his lap.

Finally, Amanda looked up. He felt her eyes on him as he gently strummed the instrument's strings, playing no melody in particular, but letting the sweet sounds fill the air.

"You don't have anything to say about it?" Amanda asked when he paused to reposition his fingers.

"It is your decision, not mine. As you said when I came through the doors, I am not your master." Not looking at her, he started to play an ancient Vulcan song he had played for her many times.

He felt a wave of relief through their bond, and then Amanda set aside her PADD and climbed out of bed, coming to stand before him.

"Both T'Aral and T'Shan were convinced you'd disapprove. I'm relieved you don't," she said.

Sarek did not respond. Instead, he leaned further into the ka'athyra, his fingers dancing effortlessly over the strings as he let the music overtake him.

When he finished the song and still did not answer her, he felt a thread of worry over the link.

"You... you don't disapprove, do you?" she asked.

Sarek glanced up at her, then down at the instrument again as he began to play another song. "My opinion does not matter," he said evenly.

Amanda reached out and lay a hand on the ka'athyra, stilling his fingers. "It does to me. You don't approve, do you? Of my hiring an outcast?"

Sarek suppressed a sigh as he set the ka'athyra on the floor next to him. "It is not that I disapprove of her. It is her origins I disapprove of," he said.

"Why?" Her tone was sharp now.

"She is V'tosh t'shaukash," he said simply. "You do not understand what that means to other Vulcans. They live apart from us by choice and live by emotion - they are a constant threat to the peace we have striven for over a thousand years to achieve. Vulcans bind their emotions for a reason, Amanda. To not suppress them is dangerous."

"Really?" Amanda asked coolly. "Because I rather think it has more to do with shame than anything. You can't bear to see Vulcans express themselves so openly."

"I do not deny that seeing a fellow Vulcan express emotion serves as a... distasteful reminder of what we once were. We are not ashamed of the emotions, Amanda, but of what they brought upon us in the past. Our race was nearly annihilated."

"So you don't think I should hire T'Aral, just because she was born into circumstances she couldn't control?" Amanda asked indignantly.

"I did not say that. If you believe her to be suitable for the job, there is no reason not to employ her. As I said, that decision is yours. I will not contest it."

Amanda looked as if she wanted to say something further, but seemed to change her mind. Pressing her lips together in a thin line, she turned away from him to climb back into bed.

"Well, I like her," she said, picking up her PADD again. "And you probably would too, if you'd give her a chance."

Sarek watched her for a moment as she angrily stabbed her PADD with a stylus, her brow furrowed. He knew she did not understand what it meant to be V'tosh t'shaukash, and never would. She did not know what she had done - but he would try his best to adapt to it.

Rising from his chair, Sarek joined his wife on the bed, sliding his arms around her waist and burying his face in the space between her neck and shoulder. At first, she stiffened against him - but when he inhaled her scent and sent her his feelings of affection, she relaxed against him.

"I hate it when you do that. I'm trying to be angry at you," she said, sounding resentful, but he knew she was holding back a smile.

"You should avoid anger. It is not healthy for the child."

As if in agreement, Sarek felt a slight flutter against his palm. Pressing his cheek against Amanda's, he murmured, "The kan-bu is in concurrence."

Amanda laughed softly. "You're just trying to escape punishment."

"If I truly opposed this T'Aral's employment, I would make it known to you that it is unacceptable. As it is, I will endeavor to treat her with the utmost civility. I never said I would not, nor did I ever say I have any personal issues with her."

"Just her family," Amanda sighed. "I guess I'll have to settle with that."

With that, she picked up the PADD again and, to Sarek's relief, the subject was dropped as she leaned her back against his chest and began to read.

XXXXX

A/N: So sorry about the long wait! I know I've been taking forever lately - I'm ashamed that it's been a month since I last updated! I know some of you have been anxious for an update (I'm looking at you, Anonymous) and I appreciate your patience. But, as I have the next chapter planned out, it shouldn't take quite as long. I hope my readers are still with me.

Vulcan Vocabulary Note: The V'tosh t'shaukash are, more or less, the same as the V'tosh ka'tur, which you may have seen in other fics by other authors. I just changed the name.

I recently posted a one-shot centered around T'Shan which can be found here, if you haven't read it yet: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6383207/1/Sunrises

And TeaOli has also updated Therapy, the T'Shan/Pike story (actually, she's updated a couple of times since I have): http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6354913/1/Therapy

As usual, replace the (dots) with a period. :)