Spoiler Alert: This is based on the conversation that Lisbon and Jane had in 'Rose-Coloured Glasses':-

Lisbon: I'm a far cry from what I was in High School.

Jane: Nah, I wouldn't be so sure. Driven to succeed to the point of developing an ulcer; no tolerance for superiors less sharp than yourself; shutting out girls that wanted to hang out with you; blowing off boys that want to get close; all the while, at every turn, wondering, 'What is it I really want?'.

How lovely was that episode!?! Did you notice that he switched to the present tense when he mentioned boys wanting to get close? Slip of the tongue?

I was rather captivated by the idea of Lisbon constantly wondering what it is she really wants, and intended to explore that, but the story has already veered somewhat off course. I will circle back around to it, though.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, of course, so I hope nobody minds that I'm borrowing their stuff.

'What is it I really want?' Lisbon thought to herself, adding defensively, 'Everybody wonders that!' She glared in the general direction of Jane's couch, which (fortunately for both of them) she couldn't see from her office. 'Stupid fake-psychic trick – making some observation that you know applies to pretty much every person on the planet in order to trick your victim into thinking you're reading them. Why the hell do I let him get to me?'

She tried to concentrate on her paperwork, but instead wondered, 'Am I driven to succeed to the point of developing an ulcer?' She briefly considered the state of her digestive system and concluded that her stomach was in perfect working order. 'I just like to do things well – there's nothing wrong with that!' She grimaced slightly. 'Why am I justifying myself?' She was now officially annoyed at both herself and Jane.

Mr Irritating himself chose that moment to wander into her office. She narrowed her eyes at him. Jane raised his eyebrows slightly in response.

"Been annoying you in absentia, have I? What unspeakable crime against bureaucracy have I committed this time?"

So many options, so little time. In the interests of proving him wrong, however, she decided to take the truthful approach.

"Do you really think that I push everyone away?" she asked.

Jane stood motionless for a moment, then he sat down opposite her.

"Is this about what I said the other day at that high school reunion?" he said, connecting the dots with his usual speed.

"Loosely translated, that I'm single-minded, impatient and hold everyone at arm's length? Yes."

"Well, that's a very loose translation. A better one would be that you're focused and ambitious, you don't suffer fools gladly, and you don't make much time for your personal life."

"Same difference, Jane."

"But it sounds so much better my way. And why does it bother you anyway? It's not like this is surprising news to you."

"You made it sound as if I make a conscious and calculated decision to shut people out. It's not like that."

"Aren't you the one who made the rule that we don't discuss our personal lives at work? Because it's unprofessional, I believe?"

"It is unprofessional!"

"Why? It's not like there are neat labels on everything indicating whether they belong in the professional or personal box. Who you are at work affects who you are at home and vice versa. And at what point does a friendship with a colleague begin to also constitute a personal friendship? Why try to rigidly separate different sections of your life? You can't tell me you believe that that's a healthy way to live."

Lisbon hadn't expected Jane to go on the attack with quite so much enthusiasm.

"I had no idea you were so desperate to discuss your personal life at work," she said with asperity.

Jane leaned back in his chair. He gave her one of his 'nice try' looks.

"We're not talking about me, are we? We're talking about whether you put up barriers to keep people out of your life. I was merely pointing out the first example that came to mind."

Lisbon looked down at her desk, trying to marshal her thoughts. As usual, however, she was interrupted. Cho popped his head through her open door.

"Boss, we have that address. Do you want Rigsby and me to go check it out?"

"Yeah, and take Jane with you, will you?"

Jane gave her a slightly miffed look. He didn't like it when Lisbon tried to get rid of him like that. She ignored him, and returned to her paperwork, using her famous self-discipline to force herself to concentrate on the task at hand. Jane followed Cho out of the room, an ominously thoughtful expression on his face.

A couple of hours later Lisbon heard Rigsby and Cho returning, and she went into the bullpen to get an update. Jane was conspicuous by his absence.

"Where's Jane?"

Cho and Rigsby glanced uneasily at each other. Neither wanted to be the one to tell her that Jane hadn't gone with them as she'd told him to, but had disappeared on some errand of his own as soon as he'd left her office.

"Here I am," Jane said, coming up behind her.

Cho and Rigsby both gave a little sigh of relief, glad that they'd kept their mouths shut. What Lisbon didn't know, hopefully wouldn't hurt either of them.

"You didn't go with them, did you?"

Hmm, so much for that. At least she was aiming all her annoyance at the culprit and not at (in this instance, at any rate) completely innocent bystanders. If Lisbon couldn't control Jane, what hope did either of them have?

Jane just gave Lisbon one of his non-committal smiles and said, "Where's Van Pelt?"

"Where have you been for the last two hours?" Lisbon asked him suspiciously. "I'm really considering investing in a leash for you. One of those ones with a collar that has an electric current running through it, so that I can zap you whenever you misbehave. Of course, that would put a lot of pressure on California's power grid..."

Cho hid a smile at the picture this conjured up; Rigsby, however, completely failed in his attempt to smother a laugh. Jane felt this would be a good moment to unleash his most charming grin on Lisbon, which he knew she could never quite resist (though she tried). Right on cue, her mouth twitched in response.

Van Pelt bustled in just then and immediately saw that she was missing out on something. She looked hopefully at Rigsby, but he just made a little face at her to tell her that he'd tell her later.

"Ah, Van Pelt!" Jane exclaimed, as though he hadn't seen her in months. "Good, I have an announcement."

Lisbon braced herself instinctively. 'If I ever get an ulcer,' she thought to herself, 'I'll know exactly who to blame!'

"Since none of us has plans this weekend," (none of the others even bothered to feel surprised at Jane's apparent clairvoyance), "I've rented a lovely house by the sea. It's just a couple of hours drive from here and is right on the beach. We'll leave Friday afternoon and come back Sunday. I'll organise the food and entertainment; you guys won't need to do a thing. We'll let Lisbon drive because she has the most suitable car, but once we get there, we're not colleagues or boss and subordinates; we're just friends, relaxing together. This is a vacation. Bring sun-cream."

He beamed at everyone. Van Pelt beamed back. She rarely had a chance to spend time at the beach, and would never turn down any opportunity to do so. Rigsby liked the sea too, and relished the thought of Van Pelt in a bikini. The trip definitely had his vote. Cho was doing a mental calculation of how many books he'd need to pack – it would never do to run out of decent reading material while on holiday. He decided to go to the library later, just to be safe.

Lisbon glared at Jane. He gave her a very mischievous smile. His expression clearly said, 'Jane, one, Lisbon, zero.' There was a pause as everyone waited for Lisbon to answer. Regardless of what Jane had said, Lisbon was their leader and they intended to follow her lead on this, especially since, if his expression was anything to go by, this was all some game Jane was playing with Lisbon.

"What kind of entertainment?" Lisbon asked, which wasn't really what Jane had expected her to say.

"I'm open to suggestions," he said easily, not wanting to do anything to derail what appeared to be Lisbon's assent to the plan.

Lisbon looked at him thoughtfully for a few moments, then said, "Okay, Jane. Sounds nice." She turned back to Rigsby and Cho, and said, "So, what did you guys find out?"

Following her example, her team switched seamlessly back to work mode. Jane went to his couch and started to make lists of things he needed to get for the trip.

Phase one of Operation Breach Lisbon's Barriers was underway. It was something he'd been itching to do virtually since he met her, and since she'd finally given him an opening, he had, with his usual presence of mind, shoved his foot in the door and was going to make the most of the opportunity. It had practically been a cry for help, after all, and he was all about helping people...

He started to draw a little castle bristling with battlements and surrounded by a moat, and then he added a rope dangling from one wall with a man climbing up it. The man was, somewhat anachronistically, dressed in a three-piece suit.

TBC