Title: 'Til The Day After

Author: Mona

Translation: by sophiastevens

Disclaimers: Shonda Rhimes and Crew

Genre: Drama/Romance

Rating: T

Summary/Set/Pairing: Alex/Izzie after SF4

Chapter 1

The rays of sunshine streaming in through the window woke Izzie out of her dreamless sleep. It took her a moment to realize that she was no longer in her own bed. Shocked, she sat up and looked next to her; the spot next to her was empty. Her heart began to race as she remembered last night's events and how they led to her spending the night in someone else's bed and not her own.
Had it been the right choice, to stay with him all night? She carefully ran her finger over her lips. A warm feeling that had long been forgotten rushed through her. Her breathing picked up speed as she thought about the kiss she shared with Alex. The moment their lips touched, fireworks sent through her body. The feeling had quickly passed, however, as he broke away, sobbing, and seeking comfort in her arms. She wondered what would have happened had he not broken the kiss? How far would she have gone?

She stretched her arms over her head and then rolled over the other side of the bed. It was cold. So it must have been hours since Alex left the room and possibly the house. So what was supposed to happen now? What would it be like when they see each other next? Was she happy that he had already left? She knew that she couldn't let him run away from this. They needed to talk about what happened. But what exactly did happen? Actually, nothing bad. He had kissed her and then they fell asleep next to each other with their clothes on. But it was not what had actually happened that was causing her unrest, but rather, the feelings it triggered.
She had felt the feelings for a while, since shortly after Ava or Rebecca or whatever Alex called her returned into his life. She tried to convince herself that it didn't mean anything, that she was only concerned for a friend. And it had pained her to see how lovingly and thoughtfully Alex cared for Ava.

With a quiet moan she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. She had just managed to have somewhat of a handle on her life and now this! She was hopeless, it seemed, when it came to relationships. Her time with George should have been a lesson. Don't fall in love with a man who is already attached! But Alex wasn't George and he wasn't married but he wasn't exactly emotionally free. But she had already crossed the line by kissing him and spending the night in his bed…

She hadn't hesitated but rather gave in right away when Alex asked her to spend the night with him. It was instinct to lay her arms around his neck; it was natural to press her lips against his. In the moment, it had felt good and right. And as she held him in her arms as he cried, she could not imagine a place she would rather be. But now the night was over and the bed next to her empty. So how was it supposed to go now? Should she pretend that nothing happened? It was probably the best solution; after all, nothing really happened – at least nothing she should be ashamed of. She had just wanted to help a friend, to make the night a little more tolerable for him.

She shut her eyes and travelled back into her memories one more time to remember that night. A warm, tingly feeling coursed through her as she thought about Alex kissing her and laying her arms around his neck. She jerked open her eyes. Who was she trying to fool? Not nothing had happened. She couldn't exactly put her feelings into words but she couldn't ignore them either. She had thought before that she could erase that night from her memory, but she realized now that the night would change everything.
She looked at her watch. It was time to begin the day. A warm shower and a good breakfast would be good for her, to reawaken her spirit. A barely recognizable laugh flitted across her face as she left the bedroom and made her way to the bathroom.

~~~

Looking behind himself to make sure no one was following him, Alex ran across the floor. The reason he was acting so inconspicuously was because he actually had the day off today. If Bailey caught him, he would have to answer a lot of unpleasant questions, questions he would gladly evade. But there was no way in the world that he could have stayed at home after last night. Taking a deep breath he opened the doors to the cafeteria and walked over to the freshly brewed coffee. It was a blessing that no matter what time, day or night, coffee was always available. He usually wasn't a very big coffee drinker but today he needed the caffeine in order to get his head on straight. But he doubted it was only the lack of caffeine that was making him feel so strange. The other, more important, reason was probably still sleeping in his bed – Izzie. Quickly he reached for the coffee pot and let the hot liquid flow into his cup. He didn't want to think about her right now, not with a sober stomach. Just then he realized that he was hungry, too. He grabbed a croissant that was lying in a breadbasket and quickly grabbed a table and sat down with his back facing the door in the mostly empty cafeteria. As he drank some of his coffee, he tried to sort out his thoughts.

What had been going on with him last night? How could he let himself do that, to beg her to spend the night with him? How could he ever look Izzie in the eyes again?

Sighing he pushed the coffee cup away and ran his fingers through his hair. He would have to apologize; he would have to explain why he even kissed her in the first place. The problem was, he didn't even know why he kissed her. When she sat next to him and looked at him the way she did, all of his long forgotten feelings bubbled to the surface. He thought he was over her. He honestly thought he would only see her as a good friend. But he was only fooling himself. This became clear to him when, after a brief pause, her smooth, lustful lips locked with his once again. And this time there was no hesitancy as there been when he first kissed her that night. Perhaps, though, it had been a pity kiss, so that he would believe, even if only for a moment, that she wanted this as much as he did. Believing that she wanted it as much as he had would just be wishful thinking on his part. The anguish and exhaustion of the previous night finally overwhelmed him.
She stayed with him the whole night. Only after she fell asleep, with one arm draped protectively around his waist, did he look at her. He wasn't the first time he had watched her while she slept. He did when they were more or less officially together and had loved it when he had the opportunity to stay with her and watch her in secret. He savored every minute of it. He breathed in the smell of her vanilla shampoo and imagined what it would be like it they were actually together. By the time dawn had arrived all doubts vanished and a state of disillusionment set in. Izzie hadn't kissed him because she was passionately in love with him; she kissed him because he basically begged for it. She had kissed him because she wanted to show compassion for a friend. There were many reasons why she kissed him. She probably would have kissed any other man in the same situation. The kiss had meant nothing – not for Izzie anyway. He was sure of this. And he realized, since the kiss, how much Izzie still meant to him. This would not make living together in the same house very easy.

When the door to the cafeteria swung open he knew before he even turned around who had just walked in. He could sense who it was. Slowly he stood up and turned to face her.

"Alex!"

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. "No! Please Iz! Before you say anything, hear me out first."

She nodded. He could tell by her expression that his harsh reaction had confused her.

"What happened last night shouldn't have happened," He threw the idea out quickly, glad he finally got it out. He was sure that this would put Izzie at ease. "I'm sorry and I promise you nothing like this will ever happen again. With bated breath and his hands hidden in his pockets he looked at her with nervous and expectant eyes.

tbc