Chapter 1

It has been a long time since I have truly loved him... Bella thought gloomily. She had been falling out of love with Edward almost from the start. His need for control had escaped her at first but was becoming more and more a fact of her life. She thought that she couldn't live without him. But the harsh reality was she couldn't live without immortality. She'd fallen in love with what she could possibly be. Her vampirism was her true love.

She had been obsessing with how she would tell him. She knew Edward would die tenfold for her; he would risk his life to save their love, he would do all the romantic things she should love about him. Instead she just wanted to be his friend. In her opinion after she was changed, all human emotion left her and was replaced by something else. Everything she thought she wanted while alive; was altered when she was transformed.

Picking a twig off the tree she had been leaning on, Bella squinted into the distance. She was on a girl's day out in the wilderness with Alice, and at the moment Alice was playing far out into the Pacific Ocean. In Bella's opinion, Alice was just showing off her excellent swimming skills. Alice was the main reason why Bella felt her love slipping away from Edward. Bella had always thought her feelings for Alice were those of sisterhood, but as time went by she started to notice Alice in different and more fascinating ways. She began to see the way Alice walked, when she talked,the perfect way her lips moved, the way Alice would flick a strand of hair behind her ear when she was trying to make a point. Bella realized she was incredibly and irrevocably attracted to Alice.

"Bella!" Alice's sing song voice brought Bella back into consciousness. Bella blinked our of her reverie and saw Alice standing in front of her sopping wet. Crossing her arms Alice stared Bella down. "Do you know how long I have been calling you for? And finally I actually had to get out of the water. You are really deaf you know..." Alice snapped her fingers and simply pointed to the towel which was hanging on a branch beside Bella. Smiling, Bella reached over, grabbed the towel and tossed it into Alice's waiting hand.

"Did you have a good swim there Alice?" Bella said teasingly.

Wrapping the towel over her head Alice smirked and replied, "You know the swim would have been a lot more exciting if you actually cared to join me. I thought this was supposed to be a girl's day out, not an Alice day out while Bella sits on the side lines and watches."

Bella had to laugh at that comment. Alice knew Bella hated the water, especially ocean water because it made her skin itch. "Well if you didn't decide to go swimming all the time maybe I would participate in the activities that you planned."

By this time Alice was completely dry and Bella could tell that Alice's had moved on to the next activity she wanted to torture Bella with. Bella had to groan because she knew it would include some running, jumping and maybe some swinging from tree to tree like a monkey. Alice was like Curious George, Jane of Tarzan fame and Tarzan himself rolled into one. She crashed into trees like George of the jungle.

Sitting next to Bella, Alice wrapped her arm around Bella's shoulder. "You know Bella, I could think of a million things that would be fun for us to do, and when I say us I really mean me and you; not to just drag you along. But somehow I get the impression that all you want to do is sit here and talk..." If Bella thought Alice was staring her down before, now Alice was watching her like a hawk..Bella found she liked it and was distinctly uneasy all at once.

"Talking would be nice." Bella squeaked. She really couldn't handle the way Alice looked at her. Sometimes Alice made Bella incredibly uncomfortable and this was one of the moments where she just wanted to run away, far away. Yet she couldn't.

Clapping her hands cheerfully Alice stood up and turned to face Bella. "Well in that case I know the perfect place! Come on Bella I know you will love it!"

Groaning for the second time today Bella stood up attentively and took Alice's out stretched hand. Inwardly Bella shuddered, she much rather be holding Alice's hand because they were lovers, not because Alice had a feeling that Bella wasn't happy and she needed some cheering up. If only she knew the real reason why Bella was upset. Bella was sure Alice would either laugh at her or never talk to her again because Edward was like a brother to her, in fact they were family. Bella was relatively new, whereas the rest of the family had been together decades.

As soon as Bella's hand connected with Alice's she was flying through the trees. Why did Alice have to run so fast? Bella inwardly cried.

Laughing Alice shouted above the howl of the wind, "Oh Bella don't be such a baby we are almost there!"

Dodging an out stretched branch Bella wasn't so sure.

Then it was over and Bella was leaning against a tree trunk for support because the run had taken the wind out of her.

"Shush Bella you're a vampire, you shouldn't be tired!" Alice danced around her in her usual pixie like manner. Taking her hand once more Alice skipped Bella to the "perfect" place to talk. When Bella could finally catch her breath, she was able to actually look at the place where Alice had taken her to. In truth Alice had impeccable taste in everything. Where she'd taken them now was breath taking. Who would have thought nature could conjure up something so simple yet so beautiful. Where Alice was sitting was on a long ago fallen tree that looked to be a thousand years old before it died. It was covered in emerald green moss that housed hundreds of purple, pink and white wild flowers. The trees that surrounded this majestic fallen tree seemed to have made a perfect circle around it, as if they were paying homage to it's death. The ground in which Bella trod was moss covered and over grown with ferns. Fluttering softly in the air Bella could make out colourful butterflies.

She was speechless, all Bella could do was stare. If it was Edward who'd taken her here Bella would have called this magical place romantic.

Smiling from her perch on the moss covered tree Alice called down to Bella. "Are you going to join me or what?"

Looking up Bella's breath caught in her throat. Alice made this place all the more beautiful. "Coming." Bella whispered. Trudging through the ferns Bella tried very hard not to look at Alice. She feared if she did at this moment her face would give away her true emotions and for Bella that was a thought she found nearly impossible to confront.

Patting a spot beside her Alice smiled as Bella climbed up the trunk. "Come sit hither." Shaking her head at Alice's comment Bella plopped down beside her. "So my dear whatever would you like to talk about that is so important that we can't go tree hopping?"

Bella cringed; she knew this was going to come, and when she got home she was going to sucker punch Edward in the stomach, this reeked of him. Edward, Bella knew, put Alice up to this little talk about undying love. "Well I wanted to talk... I just don't know how to begin."

Alice leaned forward and propped her fist under her chin. "Well Bella you are in a safe place and I am the best person to talk to!" Alice leaned in closer to Bella and tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear.

Bella shifted uncomfortably, and shyly looked down at her lap. She bit her her lower lip and looked at Alice hesitantly. She knew Alice would poke and prod her until she revealed every little detail there was to know about what was bothering her. Bella looked up into Alice's waiting face. Staring at her amber eyes, Bella had a feeling Alice wasn't going to give up without a fight. Breathing out an annoyed sigh Bella mumbled something into her chest in hopes that would prolong the inevitable.

In that instant Alice jabbed Bella in the ribs with such force that if she were human it would have left a hole. The impact had caught Bella off guard and nearly made her fall off the trunk. Catching herself Bella glared at Alice. "Why did you do that for!?" Bella whined.

Putting her finger to her lip Alice smiled wickedly and said, "well if I didn't take action we would be sitting here all day talking about the weather, and nothing would be accomplished!" At that Alice threw up her hands in mock annoyance. "So I am going to ask you again, what -is –it- that- you –would- like -to talk- to- me -about." This time Alice spoke really slowly just in case Bella didn't get it the first time.

Bella rolled her eyes and rubbed her side where Alice had not so so lovingly poked her. "Well I know Edward planned for you to talk to me. And that's why we had this girl's day." Crossing her arms Bella tried to look annoyed, but she couldn't. She was too caught up in how the light seeped through the leaves and reflected off of Alice's skin. It was now late afternoon and even in this weak light Alice still glowed. Peeling her eyes away from Alice's appearance, Bella gulped and looked once more into Alice's waiting eyes.

"Bella, tell me! Spill the beans already!" Alice was now shaking in her usual excitement when she knew she was going to get the scoop on some really hot topic.

Taking in her surroundings, Bella had the feeling that it was going to be now or never. She had to tell Alice. If she waited any longer she had the distinct feeling she would explode. "OK! I will tell you...but I want you to block this memory so that Edward can't read it from your mind." Alice remained silent and continued to look at Bella expectantly. Sighing Bella looked up to the heavens. "Do you ever feel as though there is something missing from your life, er, afterlife."

Alice bounded up and down and clapped her hands. Clearly Alice didn't realize what Bella was about to tell her. Since Alice couldn't see Bella's future any longer, she truly had no idea. She probably thought Bella wanted to try something new and exciting. Unfortunately in Bella's mind Alice was wrong.

"I wanted to tell somebody. Mostly you..." Bella leaned forward and gently plucked one of the wild flowers that had made their home on the fallen tree. Brushing the peddles so she could keep her hands busy Bella trained her eyes on the white flower. "I think I have fallen out of love with Edward." Bella rushed the words together in one breath. "There I said it. Happy?"

Looking up finally Bella could see the shock written all over Alice's face. She really had no idea what was going on inside of Bella's head. Alice rested a hand on one of Bella's shoulders. "I had no idea, I'm so sorry." With her other hand Alice flicked a fallen tear which had cascaded down Bella's cheek unknowingly. "You're family..." Alice's words were interrupted by Bella's hand.

"I know! Don't you see? This situation is more complex than you think." Bella turned away so Alice couldn't see the extent of her pain. Bella had often thought about leaving Edward. But she didn't know what that would mean for her baby and the Cullen's family as a whole. Would she still be welcome or would they shun her and take away her child? Bella didn't want to think about it.

Alice took Bella into a strong embrace and whispered into her hair. "I'm sure we can work this out."

Angered Bella pushed Alice away. "You who can see everyone's future, cannot help me. You don't know how I will end up. You don't know anything!"

"What do you think I need to know? I can't help you Bella if you don't talk to me." Alice sat back as if to give Bella some breathing space.

"Do you want to know the extent of my frustration? Do you want to know what keeps me from being happy? Do you Alice, really do you?"

"Yes..." Alice breathed.

As if in invitation Bella grabbed Alice's shoulders and kissed her hard on the mouth. "It is you... Ever since my transformation, it has always been you. I love you Alice Cullen." Wiping her tears on her sleeve Bella sat on the tree trunk for a moment longer before taking in the full horror of what had just transpired.

Wearily Bella turned to face Alice. "I am so sorry. I would lie and say I didn't mean that but I do. Just don't tell Edward! Just be as you always are, my friend and help me bring me back to be in love with Edward..." Bella stopped short and looked Alice in the face. But the face that she was confronted with was not that of scorn but that of amusement. So Alice thought this was funny! Balling her hands into fists Bella could hardly take this conversation any longer. She needed to flee be anywhere but here. But she was stuck.

Smiling sweetly Alice batted her eyes and teasingly said, "so you think I'm pretty?"

Bella was stunned. This was the last reaction she would expect from Alice. Bella couldn't take this any longer and burst out, "ALICE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? You are supposed to be angry. Not amused." Alice just sat there and kept a ridiculous smile on her face. "STOP MAKING FUN OF ME. IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Alice slapped her knee and burst out laughing. "Oh Bella that was a good joke! Now really what is the matter with you?"

Bella turned and stared at Alice in bewilderment. "You think I am kidding? I just told you my deepest darkest secret and you mock me!"

Alice crossed her arms. " I already knew you thought I was hot. I just thought you would tell me something better." Alice tapped her forefinger to her temple.

Bella groaned, "you knew?"

In her sing song voice Alice leaned into Bella and said, "Of course. I just didn't tell Edward. I am waiting for you to tell him. I think you two need to talk."

Annoyed Bella turned and faced Alice, now she was curious, she wanted to know how long Alice knew this secret and how many people did she tell. Bella was fuming. She definitely didn't have a chance with Alice. Bella crossed her arms and pouted. " I don't want to talk to him. And how come you didn't talk to me about you knowing my love for you before?"

Alice had to laugh at that, "Bella why would I come to you, I was waiting for you to make the move. So if Jasper asked I would say you started it."

Now Bella was confused. Was Alice giving her permission to kiss her? Bella shook her head. " What are you talking about Alice?"

Alice cocked one of her finely lined eyebrows and prettily beckoned Bella to come closer. "If you kiss me first I won't tell you to stop. Besides it's not like I would be cheating on Jasper. The last time I checked you were a girl, right?"

At the invitation Bella couldn't deny her lust any longer. Bella took Alice's head between her hands and brought her face into hers. As their lips connected Bella could feel a fire ignite within her. Alice wrapped her arms around Bella's back and pulled her in closer so that their breasts connected. Bella's lips parted and Alice forced her tongue greedily into Bella's mouth and explored every inch. After the kiss was finished both Bella and Alice sat back breathlessly and looked each other over.

Bella tucked a non-existent strand of hair behind her ear. "Wow, I didn't know you could kiss so divinely Alice."

Alice shrugged, "How would you know? You were caught up with Edward and I with Jasper. We are breaking up you know." Alice waved her hand in dismissal.

Bella was stunned. How could she have missed the problems that those two were having? She had thought that they were happy and she was the one with issues. Bella turned and looked at Alice once more. "How come you never told me?"

Shocked Alice crossed her arms. "I tried but you were too caught up in your own trials and tribulations. Besides I have, and have had somewhat of a crush on you as well..." Alice looked away shyly.

"Oh." Bella nodded her head. "So what do we do now?"

Alice shrugged, "I guess we both have our work cut out for us..."