I was really, really, really (etc., etc.,) excited to write this fic. So very excited…

I do not own Star Wars.

Preposterous; impossible! Shameful and foolish and just plain… ew!

But mostly, it was foolish.

Oh! And what foolishness it was! A petty holosoap mixed with the budding hormonal yearnings of a pubescent Padawan.

That's what his friends said; in less complicated, more explicit words. Was Qui-Gon Jinn out of his thirteen year old mind? Was he going to humiliate them all? Of course, as long as his friends remained out of the loop, they could care less what he did; as long as it wasn't linked to their all-too-self-conscious selves.

Half of this made kissing a girl sound just as bad as the rest of the young and mostly male world perceived it to be. The other half made it sound… well, great! Why, these two powerful sources conflicted so much with each other that more than once Qui-Gon was forced to ask himself, "am I normal?"

There was only way to answer this question, and that was to consult the opposite sex. Everyone knew that girls were smarter than boys. That was why they never got in trouble for sneaking into the kitchens or rough housing in the lake. Somehow, they just knew that stuff was wrong. They didn't need to be told.

And if none of Qui-Gon's male friends understood, but if his female friends understood perfectly well, then maybe he was really a girl. Maybe the medics had gotten it wrong, or maybe he or his mother had. Because at the moment, he wasn't acting like a boy. He was feeling like a… well; he wasn't sure what he felt like!

Another one of his girly traits: Qui-Gon knew that his friends lied sometimes. Really, he couldn't fathom that he was actually a girl. Adults were smart enough to know the difference.

He was just… different. Not normal.

The only solution, as his new, strange feelings told him, was to find out. That meant kissing a girl.

A real girl; not the kind in the holographic form his friends slobbered on the cheek for dares. One with flesh and blood and… maybe some feelings for him.

He filtered through the possible candidates. They had to be humanoid, they had to be female, and they had to be his age. He excluded Tahl, because she was his best friend and the thought of kissing her made him nervous. He also crossed off Clee Rhara, another friend. Cin Drallig was off the list immediately, because he was a boy. (He had inadvertently added him because of his long, golden hair that made him look so feminine.)

He also wanted it to be a girl he knew. That made the only possible option… Dia. Dia Verin; a girl from his math class.

She was female, humanoid, his elder by only a few weeks… and she was kind of pretty. Yes, she would do just fine. No, he would not tell his guy friends. Not yet. He had to wait until the time was right.

----

(One Week Later)

There she was; Dia Verin. Strutting down the main hallway like she owned the place. And in her mind, she did.

She was the Diva of the Dining Hall and the Master of the Archives. She made sure she made her glossy chestnut hair bounce off her shoulders with every step. Her shoulders were back and her face wore a look of noble boredom. Her eyes looked down her nose at anyone she passed.

Qui-Gon had taken the time to comb his hair that morning. He had even put on his sacred bottle of cologne; because on the holovid women seemed to like that.

His friends roared with laughter at the morning meal. They all scooted their chairs away, claiming he smelled bad. Qui-Gon ignored them- they were very childish. They would never understand, because they were normal.

"Go make your move now!" They all jeered. Qui-Gon shook his head. "I must wait until the right time. Until I see her."

"Look, there she is now!" They screamed.

Sure enough, Dia was doing her diva-walk down the hallway. As she passed the boys, she gave them the peace sign. The boys made bug eyes back at her.

All the boys except Qui-Gon. So Dia cruised right passed him.

Now's your chance!

"Dia!" He stumbled after her. Rolling her eyes, Dia placed a hand on her hip and turned to face him.

"What is it, Jinn?"

What do I say? What do I say?!?!?!

"You look very nice today."

Dia crinkled her nose. "Thanks." She turned around to resume her stroll, but Qui-Gon intercepted her.

Say something else!

"Who do you like?" He asked.

Dia gave him that 'who-do-you-think-you-are' look. "None of your business," she sniffed.

That means she's single! Now's your chance!

Putting a hand on her shoulder and jerking her towards him, he slowly pulled her close…

Yeah! Like the holovids! You're so close!

Uh-Oh. He felt a tickling sensation deep in his nose coming on.

Just ignore it. Just ignore it; you're not going to…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOO!

Qui-Gon unleashed a wave of spittle and snot… right into Dia's face. She shrieked, wringing her hands in hysteria. Wiping her eyes before opening them, she saw Qui-Gon standing mortified before her.

SMACK!

Dia slapped his right across the kisser.

"That's for trying to kiss me, you freak!"

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK…

"And those are for sneezing your sickly bodily fluids in my face!"

By the time she stopped smacking him, he had a black eye and his nose was mangled and bloody. He stepped backward, dazed.

Dia stepped forward again. "And for your information," she gave him a peck on the lips. "That is how you kiss someone."

And that, my dear Younglings, is the tale of Qui-Gon's first romance. It is also the tale of how he got his broken nose.

See, my friend and I are having a Qui-Gon Jinn romance contest. This is my entry. Since… well, we don't really have a method of judging yet. So, if you wanna read her fic (whenever she posts it) and vote on a winner, please contact me!

Or if you don't want to judge or anything, reviews make my day.