Title: Reasons Why Arthur Likes Gwen.

Summary: SLASH! ArthurxMerlin. Everyone knows the Arthurian legends and how King Arthur was 'besotted' with Queen Guinevere. Here is Arthur's list of why. Humor/Angst.

1) Because when people see that he is with Gwen, they will leave him alone.

Sir Gawain had accidentally walked in on him and Merlin once when they were about to kiss. The knight hadn't realized the scene he had interrupted, so he simply walked up to Arthur and asked for some time off. The next day Sir Gawain found himself being shipped off to the remote borders of Camelot. Vacation indeed.

So in the future, whenever Arthur wanted to be alone with Merlin, he would be sure to keep Gwen on standby.

Merlin then laughed and suggested a threesome.

Arthur then smirked and said he wasn't willing to share.

2) Because Gwen keeps Lancelot busy.

The Prince of Camelot liked Lancelot. The man was a good fighter, honorable and modest. So when Arthur becomes King, he would instate the man as one of his knights. He trusted the man with his life.

But not with Merlin.

There was something the two of them had going on that Arthur did not quite like. It was like...a secret the two of them shared. Arthur did not like the way Lancelot looks over at Merlin when his stupid manservant isn't looking.

But when Gwen is there, all of Lancelot's attention is focused on her. And if all of his attention is on her, Arthur deducts, none of it will be on Merlin.

That's why he likes Gwen. Lancelot will be too busy with Gwen to look at Merlin again.

3) Because Gwen makes great cookie dough

...which ends up on Merlin's finger, which ends up in Arthur's mouth.

4) Because Gwen made a good middle-man...maid.

Sometimes, Arthur realizes he is a bit of a prat.

Merlin calls him a prat everyday. But he only meant it once.

Arthur admits he shouldn't have gotten jealous, gotten possessive. He really shouldn't have forced Merlin into a room, forced him onto a bed, forced him down, repeatedly questioning Merlin about the seriousness of their relationship.

...and he shouldn't have doubted Merlin's love for him.

The dark brunette hadn't shouted it at him.

But being shouted at would've been a hell of a lot better than seeing that bitter expression of hurt and anger followed by a quiet comment of:

"Well I'm sorry I don't know why I fell in love with such a prat."

The next morning, Merlin entered his room on time, acting as if nothing ever happened. But whenever Arthur talked to him, he received nothing more than a "Yes, Sire" or "Of course, Sire". The blonde thought the other would get over it mid day, but when twilight rolled around and went, and Merlin was still mucking out the stables, Arthur realized he had screwed up.

When he swallowed up his princely pride and marched himself down to Gaius's chamber, determined to get his manservant back, he was greeted with a closed door and no reply. So he ended up moping around for the rest of the night.

The next day, Arthur moped some more.

The day after that, Uther burst a vein trying to talk to him about an incident in the town requiring extra patrol. When he found his son wasn't listening, he threw his arms up in exasperation – very unking-like – and sent him away.

Arthur then found himself wandering around...until he ended up at Gwen's house outside the castle.

He had stood at the door like an idiot for ten good minutes until Gwen opened the door by chance and nearly had a heart attack from seeing him.

The next hour was spent with Arthur recounting the event several nights ago and spilling out his regret over the stupid decision he made. Gwen smiled sympathetically and stroked his back softly.

"If I give you a chance to apologize to Merlin, will you do it?"

The Prince looked up in surprise and spluttered a loud 'yes'.

Gwen grinned and walked over to curtains on the other side of her cottage. She came back, dragging an uneasy Merlin with her.

Arthur's eyes widened.

"Well, Arthur, don't you have something you need to say?" Gwen looked pointedly at him.

Before Arthur even had a chance to respond, Merlin had walked up to him and kissed him briefly on the lips, mumbling afterward, "You're still a prat."

5) Because Gwen has an obsession with balms.

The first time they ever tried "it", or got close to "it", they were ill-prepared. Luckily for them, Gwen had been in Arthur's room earlier, carrying a basket of balms, and when she left, one of them had slipped and fell under the bed.

So when Arthur decided to begin molesting Merlin regardless, and Merlin fell on the floor in an attempt to escape, they found that holy bottle of herb cream idly sitting there.

The next day, Gwen inquired as to whether or not either of them had seen her bottle of balm.

She wonders why the bottle was half empty when she got it back.

6) Because Gwen taught Merlin the birds and the bees.

It surprised Arthur that his idiotic manservant really knew nothing about babies.

Gaius had been called away one night to assist in some complications of a birth, and he had brought Merlin along.

When the latter later returned, he was pale, mumbling about the horrifying experiences pregnant women have to go through. Arthur laughed and joked that he too might have to endure that someday.

Merlin looked utterly horrified.

The next day, Arthur caught no sight of Merlin at all, which irritated him to no end. His breakfast had been delivered by some bumbling idiot named Eckard or Edward, his stables had not been mucked out, and -he loathed to admit- could not button his shirt properly (though that was because one Merlin somehow, somehow managed to screw up doing his laundry and shrunk one of the button holes too small for the button. Yes. It was NOT because Arthur himself was incapable. Nor was it because he was simply horny and wanted Merlin's hands on his chest).

Later that night, Gwen popped out of a corridor and smacked him on the head – only to apologize profusely for it afterward.

"You have no idea what you've done to poor Merlin! I'm sorry, Arthur, I know it's not my place, but you can't just go around telling people they'll go through childbirth after they witnessed one!"

Arthur blinked. "He's a male! There's no way he could get pregnant! He should know that!"

At this, Gwen opened her mouth to argue, only to shut it again. A moment later, she found the right words, "Well...Arthur...some people...aren't so knowledgeable! Maybe...Merlin didn't really know the details of the process..." She finished rather quickly.

Arthur stared at her blankly. "You mean...to tell me...that Merlin did not know...about the birds and the bees?"

Gwen rolled her eyes and frowned. "Look. Just don't go making fun of him for it again."

"I wasn't trying to! Honest..."

"Right...well, good evening then, Your um...Highness..."

As Gwen walked away rather quickly, Arthur smirked.

So that's why Merlin was so oblivious to his advances...

Time to find his stupid manservant.

7) Because Gwen is a fun name to say 20 times in a row.

Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Merlin! Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Merlin! Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen. Gwen.

8) Because Gwen does Merlin's job better than Merlin

When Arthur calls his manservant "idiot" or complains about his lack of competence, it isn't just a form of endearment. No. It was the absolute truth. In all honesty, Merlin was the "worst manservant [Arthur has] ever had."

Though he supposes being so good as a lover makes up for that lost aspect a little.

It really sucked that the brunette would labor for hours at a task he fails spectacularly at, yet spend so little time at the tasks he was absolutely wonderful in. (Arthur told him this once, as a backhanded compliment. Merlin rolled his eyes and kicked him off the bed.)

So the one day when Merlin forgot to retrieve his breakfast due to their late night exertions, and Gwen ended up delivering his meal, hot and on time, Arthur half-contemplated making Gwen his personal maid and Merlin his 'Honorary Companion'. (Once again, Merlin rolled his eyes and kicked him off the bed. Luckily part of the sheets fell with him, so poor Guinevere wasn't scarred for life).

9) Because Gwen has nice dresses.

Arthur had tried using Morgana's dress. It almost fit Merlin, but Morgana was simply too skinny and liked dresses that didn't let you breath. So...he used Gwen's.

Apparently, Gwen had once taken one of Morgana's dresses and tailored it to her own size, because of some 'event' that required it. Arthur thinks it was Morgana trying to escape being courted by Lord Guilford when he came. Morgana denies it. Gwen says nothing.

Anyways, Arthur's not quite sure where they got the idea of dressing Merlin up as a girl. Perhaps it had been a dare of sorts.

All he has to say though, is that Merlin has a nice arse.

Gwen probably won't be getting her dress back anytime soon.

10) Because Gwen packs lots of goodies.

When Arthur goes on a 'hunt' and brings Merlin along, he only remembers the hunting gear. So it was really thanks to Gwen that they actually ended up with a tent, in the tent, with lots...and lots of goodies.

11) Because Gwen is good at making excuses

Gwen's not good at coming up with actual excuses. She blabbers. And oftentimes, she ends up blabbering the truth. Not that anyone ever knows because no one can make sense of the babbling. But because she babbles so often even in the most common place setting with the most common place questions, nobody ever suspects her of lying.

That's why, when Uther asked her where his son was, Gwen babbled.

Uther soon cut her off mid-babble and proceeded to look for his son in a more efficient manner.

Gwen was thankful. Because she did not want Uther to find out that Arthur and Merlin were currently engaged in the broom closet right next to her.

12) Because Gwen is a good friend.

She is a good friend. To him, Merlin, and Morgana. That much cannot be denied.

13) Because Gwen can sing.

And Merlin can't. When Yule rolls around and the carols are sung, the head chef often likes to gather the servants and carol around town on Yule Eve, singing all sorts of jovial songs. Normally Arthur wouldn't have minded his servants going, but this year, he didn't want his manservant spending Yule Eve going around town bringing 'joyful tidings' to the villagers – Arthur wanted Merlin to stay right there in his room with him.

So when Gregory, the head chef, came around this year, Arthur reluctantly let Merlin try out. Luckily for him, Merlin can't hit a note to save his life, and even though Gregory was looking for a tenor, he found that Gwen could suffice – she had a lovely tenor-alto voice.

Arthur doesn't mind that Merlin can't sing.

After all, it won't be Merlin's singing that he'll be listening to when they spend all of Yule in bed.

14) Because Gwen is a fairy.

Gwen is a fairy.

Arthur is a knight.

Merlin is the princess,

Who could be won in a fight.

*

Arthur wasn't very nice,

To Merlin's favorite cat.

Thus when he found his Princess,

'She' addressed him as a "prat".

*

The Great Slash Dragon had told him,

They were sides of the "same coin"

But Arthur could not could not understand,

For he often thought with his gr---.

*

So into the contest Arthur flew,

Regardless of Merlin's dislike,

He fought his way,

All long and hard!

And won the golden pike.

*

"But where's my princess?"

Arthur asked,

As he received the fish.

The squire simply shook his head,

Arthur was just too foolish.

*

(Merlin: "Who rhymes 'fish' with 'foolish'?"

Arthur: "Shut up."

Merlin: "I'm just saying-"

Arthur: "Merlin."

Merlin: "Yes, Sire?"

Arthur: "..."

Merlin: "I'll shut up now...")

*

If he pissed off,

The Princess Merlin,

Then no matter what contest says,

Merlin will not go with him,

Not for any heroic-ness.

*

And so lamented the great Prince Arthur,

He cried out to the heavens.

His shouts aroused the angels, who

Sent him just one small present.

*

Inside it appeared a tiny fairy

--a fairy whose name was Gwen.

She had some magic and a berry,

And knocked into him, some sense.

*

That was the magic Arthur needed!

The magic of common sense!

And when he returned to Tolemac,

To get his pretty Princess back,

He pulled some sense out of his sack,

And found one thing he lacked.

*

Arthur had no magic berry,

The key to happy endings.

The fairy forgot to give him it!

It was just all too depressing.

*

But that was when Merlin came out,

From the behind the castle door.

He walked up to Arthur,

And smacks his head,

"Ouch! What was that for?!"

*

Arthur rubbed his sorry head,

While Merlin simply stood.

A moment later, Arthur turned

And lifted Merlin's hood.

"You're a man!"

"And you're a prat."

And they all lived happily ever after.

15) Because Gwen knows poetry.

And she was willing to help Arthur write some.

(See above)

Of course, when Arthur had dramatically gotten down on one knee and serenaded this to his beloved (as a joke of course), Merlin punched him in the face and left. Well, not really. Merlin imagined punching Arthur in the face.

But somehow, he ended up kissing him instead.

16) Because Gwen is dickless.

And Arthur knows Merlin enjoys having a ---- up his ---, something that requires a - (Merlin has intervened and knocked Arthur out before he could finish that statement).

Anyways...if Gwen is dickless, it basically means Arthur doesn't have to worry about the two of them being locked up in the same room together. But as for Lancelot....

17) Because Gwen sometimes sneaks in some midnight snacks for them.

After all...that was the only way they could keep at it all night.

...Studying Camelot history was a tedious task indeed...

18) Because Gwen was there when Merlin wasn't.

It had scared him so much, when he woke up one morning to find the other no longer in his bed. Of course, being as arrogant as he was, he wasn't going to let the absence of his manservant frazzle him the a bit in the least. Sure, if Merlin spent the night in his chambers, he never managed to get up before Arthur. Still, there was a first time for everything, so perhaps Merlin had finally managed to get up before him.

He pushed the matter to the back of his mind, and waited impatiently for his breakfast (and manservant) to arrive.

But he never came.

Pissed off and slightly worried, Arthur dressed himself and wrenched open his chamber doors only to have a very surprised servant boy fall on top of him and have his breakfast tray clatter to the floor.

The boy looked very embarrassed indeed, stammering out an incoherent apology – one that Arthur had neither the will nor patience to deal with. So Arthur simply brushed the poor sod aside and marched himself down to Gaius's chamber, in search of his AWOL manservant.

It was only when he entered the room did he realize something was very wrong.

Inside the chambers was his father, King Uther, along with a very serious Gaius.

Something had happened. And...

...Merlin had gone missing.

It wasn't even plausible, considering he was in Arthur's room just the night before.

Still, for some reason Gaius didn't seem keen on sharing, Merlin was currently missing. Arthur had no idea whether he was lost, captured, or worse...

...and for the first time in his life, Arthur knew fear.

Not the rush of adrenaline, heart racing, rooted to the spot sort of fear.

It was a black hole of dread, despair, consuming his entire being.

If Gwen hadn't slapped him as he was putting his armor on backwards, he probably would have rode his horse out that way as well. All that was in his head was to ride out and find Merlin. He had no idea where, no idea how, no remote clue at all. But he simply had to.

And that promptly earned him another slap from the handmaid.

If he decided to ride out now, as he was, Gwen argued, they wouldn't just be dealing with a missing servant. Then things would really get frantic.

"Well if my absence will induce a search party to be sent out for the both of us, then so be it!" Arthur seethed.

"Do you really trust Merlin so little?"

"What does that have to do with anything?!" The prince threw his arms up in a nervous and angry fit.

Gwen smiled, laying a gentle hand upon his shoulder. "Arthur...Merlin will be alright. We'll find him. Well, more like he'll probably stumble his way home. Not saying he's clumsy, it's just that he loses his sense of direction. Nor am I saying he's a lost lamb, although it's rather cute. Well I don't know if cute would be the right word to describe a lost person – I mean, I'm not saying he's not cute – no offense – he is cute. It's just...Merlin will be back."

Arthur sighed, massaging his temples. "Guinevere, I'm not sure what you just said back there with your nonsensical babbling..."

"...but Merlin will come back." Gwen finished for him. "I mean, obviously, he can't not. Where would you be without him? Not saying you're incapable of tasking without him, not so literally that is. I just mean that you would rather be lost in life without him, you know? And knowing that, I'm sure Merlin would fight through thick and thin to get back to you. He enjoys taking care of prats, it seems. Can't leave people like you alone." She blinked some more, confused at her own sense of logic.

"Yes...yes I suppose. Thank you, Guinevere, I- Wait....prats? Plural? What other prat does he know besides me? Just who has he been 'taking care' of?"

A look of realization just dawned on the poor handmaid, who noticed her slip of tongue. "Um...I meant...prat? Yes. Prat. Well, prats...but more like brats, because they're children-"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Children? You had me there, Gwen."

"-and adults. Well, the children are brats and adults are prats. So he's really on both actually. Merlin is so wonderful. I personally would absolutely hate having to attend to Lord Redfield when he visits, you know? He's the biggest prat of them all, forcing poor Merlin to do all that-"

"What?!"

19) Because Gwen could hold her liquor.

It was astounding really. Arthur would never have expected the young handmaid to be able to consume the rounds of alcohol offered on their camp-out.

It had been a planned hunting trip, with Arthur, his knights, and Merlin. Of course, Morgana, upon catching wind of it (Arthur suspects it was Owain who spilled the beans) had insisted vehemently that she be allowed to come. He had told her that these sorts of things were not appropriate for women, but Morgana simply began bombarding him with embarrassing accounts of Arthur's childhood which were 'not appropriate' for men. In front of his knights.

Arthur conceded, earning a mischievous smirk from the female, and she promptly skipped off to find Gwen.

The next night, when they got the campfire going, Sir Kay brilliantly came up with the plan to get drunk. Of course he had brought whiskey and ale along with him. Arthur could only roll his eyes as an immature drinking game initiated. It didn't surprise him that much that Morgana decided to play along, giving the guys somewhat of a show. He himself ended up partaking in this event as well – after much coaxing from Merlin, who had been grinning stupidly that entire time.

What amazed him was that, after a good number of rounds, when everyone was drunk on their feet and arses, Gwen was the only one that had seemed unfazed by the liquor. She too had participated, yet only she had remained unaffected. Even Arthur was feeling a bit tipsy and wee bit heavy on one side.

Morgana was having a blast messing with his knights (nothing beyond simple brushes and touches, of course. Morgana was the King's ward, after all, and the knights knew not to try anything, even in their drunken stupor). Gwen would occasionally comment to her Lady about her inappropriate actions.

However, Morgana's little sideshow wasn't what bothered Arthur the most.

What did bug him, however, was the fact that Merlin was currently sandwiched on a log between Gawain and Kay, laughing merrily and gaily without a care in the world. Both of his knights had their arms slung in the a friendly manner around Merlin's shoulders, while their other unoccupied hands were doing...God knows what.

Arthur glared, though his eyes couldn't focus much.

At some point, he supposes he must have started growling because Owain started cracking really bad jokes about drunken felines.

Why was Sir Kay currently acting so friendly with Merlin? Arthur couldn't tell which was worse – Sir Kay chatting away with his manservant and gaining his favor, or Sir Gawain openly...groping....GROPING....

Arthur shot up in anger. Everything tilted momentarily. He growled more. He really wanted to just go over there and snatch Merlin away from those lecherous...things. But they keep moving farther away!

Wait.

Now there were two Gawains. There were...two....GROPING!!!!

Or wait. Was that Sir Kay groping Sir Gawain?

No.....it was Gawain patting Kay's back after the latter choked on a piece of burnt meat.

No...

Wait.

Why can't he get closer?

Wait.

Where was Merlin?

The next thing he knew, he felt a familiar weight land on his chest, the impact knocking some sense into him, clearing his head.

He looked down to see the person in question out cold in his arms, and he looked up to see a still-sober Gwen giving him an exasperated smile. She placed her hands on her hips, looked behind her at the knights, then looked back at Merlin, and finally looked up at him.

Arthur got the message.

The next morning when Arthur woke up to find his knights in one giant heap, almost stark naked and out...he was glad Merlin was not part of it.

And later when he finds Gwen boiling soup for breakfast, he mouths a small 'thank you'.

21) Because Gwen can come up with more reasons than 20.

21.5) Because Gwen would have realized we skipped reason 20.

22) Because Gwen is a good babysitter.

No...

Merlin did not turn into a baby.

Arthur did not turn into a baby.

Merlin did not magically become pregnant and have a baby.

Arthur did not magically become pregnant and have a baby. (That would just be weird).

No.

Gwen is currently babysitting the newborn infant of one of the kitchen maids, Elisa.

Unfortunately, so is Merlin.

Arthur does admit that there was something alluring about the image of Merlin tenderly holding a baby girl in his arms, radiating a motherly aura, coddling the new babe.

But did that thing have to be so loud?

They poop. The eat. They sleep.

Merlin pointed out that Arthur did the same as a child as well. Probably worse.

Arthur huffs and folds his arms.

Merlin grins at him...

...and turns his attention back to the infant.

Arthur curses mentally.

It had been three days since that...object of damnation intruded his life. Well, not his really, but Merlin's. But since Merlin is his life...kind of....it was the same thing as encroaching upon his life.

And Arthur pouted. Why was his manservant paying more attention to her than him?

He glared at the bundle.

"Arthur, are you jealous of Jenny?"

He blinked. "Who?"

Merlin grinned and looked down at the baby.

Arthur grumbled. "No...."

"Then why are you pouting?"

Arthur turned to stare at the other. "Princes don't pout, Merlin."

"It's cute."

"I'm not cute!"

"You're not. She is." Merlin gave him another pointed look and smiled as he watched the baby gurgle.

Arthur stood stupefied. He opened his jaws to speak out against such insolence. And shut them.

He settled for pouting.

This would continue for a week, during which Arthur was very, very peeved. His knights all knew to tread cautiously, lest he lashes out on them.

On the tenth day, however, when Arthur returned to his room, he found Merlin fast asleep on his bed.

Blinking and unsure of what to do, he sat down in his chair.

Merlin seemed to notice the new presence and stirred from his sleep. "Arthur...?"

"Hm."

He sat up groggily. "You're...yawn....back?"

Arthur stared. "Where is the devil?"

Merlin frowned. "The what? Devil? Demon? What-Oh! Oh....oh...." He blinked. "The baby?"

Arthur nodded slowly and reluctantly.

Merlin grinned. "She's not the devil, Arthur. And she's currently with Gwen, who said something about the baby impeding my duties...""

Arthur raised a brow. "Indeed. In case you haven't noticed, my armor hasn't been-"

"Yes it has and don't even go there. Which is weird. Because I've been doing all my duties properly, so I don't see what..." His face held a pensive look, as though he were considering a deep, intense thought.

Arthur grinned. "I think I know what duties you've been slacking off in."

Merlin looked incredulous. "What duties?"

Arthur smirked. "I don't think you've polished my armor yet."

"Don't be such a prat, of course I have!"

"No. I mean I don't think you've polished my armor yet."

A pregnant pause filled the room. Then...

Merlin blushed. "You...are a prat. No wait- you are a horny prat."

Arthur smirked.

23) Because Gwen can bear children.

Arthur is scared of Morgana.

Arthur is even more scared of a Morgana who is going through a mid-life crisis. Which really doesn't make sense because she was still in her youth. Then again, nothing about Morgana ever made sense.

So one day, out of nowhere, Morgana declared she would like to be an aunt.

Not have children herself.

She wanted to be one of those auntie-figures who could spoil their little nieces and nephews rotten. She lamented for days about how her only 'brother' would never produce her long-sought-after nieces and nephews because one could not impregnate a male (Merlin). She then briefly toyed with the idea of dark magic.

She was quick to give it up though, realizing the utter uselessness of the situation.

The king's ward sulked for days on end at the lost prospect of being an aunt.

...until one day, Merlin casually pointed out that Gwen was practically her sister, and she would probably have children one day.

Morgana's face lit up completely, an expression of glee crossing her facials. "Yes, yes you're right, aren't you. Gwen, when are you and Lancelot having babies?"

Gwen looked mortified.

Poor Gwen. But still, Arthur was thankful Gwen could bear children. Otherwise who knows what Morgana would have put him and Merlin through...

24) Because Gwen is not stupid.

She may babble incoherently all the time, but she thinks quite quickly.

So the one time Gwen found Arthur looking so vulnerable, with a lost and hopeless look in his eyes, she hadn't even bothered asking him what was wrong.

She simply walked out of his room, returning five minutes later with Merlin in tow.

And as Merlin, bless him, slowly wrapped his arms around the Prince, holding him in a firm but gentle embrace, Arthur let himself break, let himself unravel, let himself go...

...because he knew that Merlin would be there to bring him back.

There were no questions asked. There were no questions needed. The young warlock just held his Prince tightly against his chest, stroking his back, willing the other's pain to go away.

He did not need to whisper words of comfort, did not need to stop his tears.

He simply needed to be there, letting the normally cocky prince release his pain.

Gwen would watch this with a small, content, smile on her face, and then make her exit unknown.

25) Because without Gwen...

...Arthur wouldn't have such a great friend.

Without Gwen, he probably would've pissed off Merlin a long time ago.

Without Gwen, he wouldn't have a conscience, a second voice, of sorts.

Without Gwen...he wouldn't have been able to continue on.

***

He wouldn't have been able to move on past the unmarked grave that held the one person he loved above all else.

He wouldn't have been able to sleep due to the endless days and nights of silent tears.

He wouldn't have been able to forgive his father for persecuting those with magic, persecuting the one he loved.

He wouldn't have been able to forgive Morgana for betraying him and Merlin...

He wouldn't have been able to stop Mordred from destroying Camelot and taking away every memory he shared with him.

He wouldn't have been able to become king.

***

The tale of King Arthur ended in a legacy. But it was a tragedy.

A heroic tale with a strong legacy. Generations would hear it. Generations would follow.

It was King Arthur who committed the heroic acts. King Arthur who united all of Albion. King Arthur of Camelot. King Arthur and Excalibur. King Arthur and Queen Guinevere...the tale goes...

But none of the tales tell of Prince Arthur. The boy, the prat, the youth, the human. And no one speaks of Merlin. The servant, the warlock, the friend, the soul.

***

So the tale goes...King Arthur was indeed, 'besotted' with Queen Guinevere. Because without Gwen, he wouldn't have become king...

...but without Merlin, he would never have become Arthur.

End.

A/N: ...What a depressing ending. I hope I didn't ruin someone's day with that last reason. If I did, just scroll back up to the beginning and read through reasons 1 to 24 again, stopping short of 25. I know it's humor overall, but I couldn't end on a humorous note. It wouldn't sound right. And I would have gone for fluff...but I've already racked my entire brain. .. Didn't expect an angsty ending actually.

But this story is really somewhat non-linear and non-universal. Parts of it could have easily taken place in a different universe, so the ending is more of a snippet of another universe...which means Merlin and Arthur are partying it up somewhere else!

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed! At least somewhat, that is. And this is un-betaed, so any suggestions or comments, feel free to notify me.