Dethlabyrinth

by Merytsetesh

Rating: PG-13 for language and Skwisgaar's pants.

Summary: After watching "The Labyrinth" Toki accidentally wishes Deddybear away to the goblins.

Disclaimer: Metalocalypse/Dethklok are the property of Brendon Small, Tommy Blacha, and all the other guys at AdultSwim. "The Labyrinth" is the creation of Jim Henson, George Lucas, and other awesome people. This fanfic is just what my brain spewed forth when left uncensored.

"Fucking jerks!"

Toki stormed into his bedroom and slammed the door shut with a satisfying bang. He was absolutely furious and ready to take out his anger on anything in his way. With a kick to the door for good measure, he stomped over to his bed and belly flopped onto the sheets.

"Stupid gay dildo heads! Always treating me likes a dumb baby, dey won't lets me do anything," he raged into his pillow.

They, of course, being his band mates. Toki had been been in the middle of watching the weirdest movie he'd ever seen when they had walked in and changed the channel. Nothing he said could get them to change it back.

"Buts it has monsters and dis big maze thing where some pretty girl was chased by a meat grinder!"

"Toki, puppets are for kids," Nathan explained slowly, though the meat grinder part did sound pretty awesome. "They're not metal. Actually, they're like the least metal thing ever. Except for that one in the Saw movies."

As the band leader and unquestioned alpha male of Dethklok, what Nathan said was law. Toki left the rec room in a huff, not even realizing he could have finished his movie on a different TV. By the time he reached his room he had gone from irritated to angry.

He pulled Deddybear from his hiding place under the pillows and held him close. "Whys dey got to be so mean to me? Is not a kid!"

But he was, wasn't he? Stuffed animals were for little kids, not metal musicians. His fingers tightened in Deddy's fur.

"Stupid babies toy! Is wish de goblins would takes you away! Den no one could makes fun of Toki!"

Just as he raised his arm to throw the bear into the trash, the bedroom door burst open and a gust of wind nearly knocked him off the bed. He dropped the toy in shock, jaw falling open at what he saw next. In his open doorway stood a tall blond man dressed so outlandishly it took Toki's brain a few seconds to process that it was Skwisgaar. Instead of his usual black top and grey jeans, he wore a billowing black cloak, a poets shirt, and what Pickles liked to call hooker boots. Actually, come to think of it they didn't look all the different from Skwisgaar's regular boots.

"Skwisgaar?! What is you doing here? And why is you dressed like dat?"

Skwisgaar tossed his glitter dusted hair over his shoulder. "I ams de Goblin King."

"Yous look like a lady," Toki snickered.

"Pfft, what lady has a cock likes dis?" He gestured a gloved hand towards his crotch that bulged obscenely under the spandex tights.

Toki wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, nobodies need to see dat."

"Whatever," Skwisgaar snorted. "Dats not why Is here. Yous wished your littles crybabies toy away to de goblins and to gets him back yous must complete my labyrinth."

"But Deddybear's right..." Like a cartoon character, Toki did a double take, "...der. Skwisgaar, you asshole!" He jumped to his feet and advanced on the lead guitarist. "Give him back!"

"No." The Goblin King causally stepped out of Toki's warpath, revealing that the doorway he'd been standing in now opened to someplace very different than a Mordhaus hallway. Distracted from strangling Deddy's kidnapper, Toki gaped at the dusty yellow landscape on the other side of his bedroom.

"Yous has thirteen hours to finish de labyrinth and save Deddybear, or Is donating him to de Toys for Tots."

Toki blinked at Skwisgaar. "Thirteen? Whys not twelve?"

"Because thirteen ams more metal."

"Oh. Dat make sense."

When Toki make no move to cross the threshold, Skwisgaar rolled his eyes and went through himself. Not wanting to be left behind, Toki followed and was immediately hit with a blast of warm air and the scent of fresh earth. Skwisgaar's labyrinth immediately drew his attention. The gigantic maze filled his vision, so large it stretched across the entire horizon with no end in sight. From its center rose a magnificent stone castle, the only part that wasn't a tangle of walls and dense forest. His gulped. There was no way he could complete that in thirteen days, much less hours! But Deddy was counting on him to try.

"Wells? What ams yous waiting for?" Skwisgaar snapped. "De clock is ticking!" Then, to Toki's amazement, his profile seems to shimmer and where once Skwisgaar stood was a white owl. Its golden eyes looked at Toki with an air of smug superiority, then flew off with a screech towards the castle in the center of the labyrinth. He watched it leave until the white speck disappeared against the hazy sky.

Head reeling from everything he'd just seen, there was only one thing Toki could say. "Wowie."

Author's Note: That's it. I don't really want to write the whole movie, just this one scene which I had floating around in my head. However, if I did write the whole thing, this would be the cast:

Toki – Sarah, the plucky yet naïve heroine

Deddybear – Toby, her annoying baby brother

Skwisgaar – Jareth, the cruel and delicious Goblin King

Murderface – Hoggle, the disgruntled gate keeper of the Labyrinth

Nathan – Ludo, the lumbering monster whose bark is worse than his bite

Charles – Sir Didymus, the somewhat confused pint-sized knight

Pickles – Fire Gang, the crazy things that can remove body parts

If anyone wants to pick up where this left off and write more, please have at it. I would love to see it!