YOU BELONG WITH ME
A/N: I was bored when I wrote this story and I remembered about the time that I fell in love with my friend; I was at 6th grade back then. I was inspired so I made a one-shot about it. Hope you like it ;)
Disclaimer: Nope :)
"When you love someone; fight for what you feel but if the one you love, love someone else--let go; be like a soldier, who knows when to surrender and when to fight"
"Mikan," an emotionless voice called my name.
I turned around and saw a gorgeous woman that's wearing a white dress. Her raven haired was tied in bun and her face was beautified by make ups. And that girl there is Hotaru Imai. She's my best friend since I was in diapers and I was hers too. She may be cold and totally opposite of me but she's the best of all the best friend that I've ever known.
She walked towards me with her face look cold yet worried.
"Hotaru," I greeted her with a smile. "What are you doing here?"
She didn't answer me but instead she gave me a hug. A tight hug indeed. She broke the hug and kissed my forehead. "I'll be here if you need me," she softly said as she walked away.
I didn't even bother to call her and asked her what she meant because I know what every word means. A faint smile curved in my lips. I combed my hair with my hand and I gently fixed my dress. I held the flower on my tightly and turned around.
There was the audience inside the church, waiting for the ceremony to start. They were all happy, some were crying and some were exited. It wasn't really a very big wedding but it is sure a beautiful one.
And as I scanned my eyes, I saw all of my friends. Tsubasa Andou and Misaki Harada-Andou; they were my sempai during my high school days. They're already a couple now and I heard Misaki-sempai is pregnant. I smiled at the thought about me, having a niece or a nephew that would be nice.
Then I saw Anna, Nonoko, Kitsunume and Yuu. They're all looking gorgeous and handsome. These four human beings were also my best friends. Anna and Nonoko was my classmate on the 7th grade and Kitsunume and Yuu became our classmates when we went to high school. As we stepped on the first year, Kitsunume and Nonoko started to go out. Yuu and Anna were still on the 'courting stage' and before the school year ends they became a couple.
Right now, Nonoko and Kitsunume are engage while Yuu and Anna were living on States and they told us that they'll be getting married there sooner or later. Oh, I'm exited for the invitation.
And at their back were Sumire and Koko. Sumire and I met when we became sophomores. She was the famous cheerleader. At first we became enemies because she kept pestering me and bullying me. I actually have no idea why she's doing that but then I learned that she was jealous of my closeness with Koko. Koko was actually my neighbourhood a long time ago. They were already together when were still on middle school, it's not just obvious because they only fight and tease each other. What a lovely couple.
I looked at the altar and the priest was smiling brightly and that means that wedding would start any minute from now. I gulped as my heart starts to beat fast. I'm nervous and scared. I clutched the flowers tightly and gasped for air. As I start to overreact, I saw a blonde man looking at me with a worried smile plastered on his face.
It was Ruka Nogi. One of the famous jock on our school. He's close to perfect. He's handsome, smart, kind, sweet, gentle, rich and a gentleman. No wonder Hotaru fell in love with him. That's right, the sweet Ruka Nogi and the cold Hotaru Imai is a couple—a married one. They've been married 2 years ago and they have one child—Hotaku Imai-Nogi. Ruka and I became friends on my elementary days. We became close and I had an innocent crush on him but as we grow up it was vanished. He started to court Hotaru when were still on middle school and now, they're together forever.
I flashed him a small smile and there I saw a raven haired guy with his piercing crimson eyes looking straight at my chocolate eyes. He looks so handsome and gorgeous. He look so happy. In my whole life, I've never seen him so happy, so free. And that guy out there is Natsume Hyuuga. The name rings a bell, ain't it? Who wouldn't know Natsume Hyuuga? His family is one of the most famous and the riches family here in Japan. They had all the riches and fame.
He too is very famous, especially on girls. In our school all girls would swoon over him. No girl couldn't resist him. Even his best friend. No! No! No! Not Ruka Nogi! Me. Me! I'm his best friend. He's my best friend. We are best friends. Best friends since 5th grade. Then memories started to flood in my head.
Oh, how could I forget when I first met him?
I was in the park that night. My mother and father had a fight and Hotaru is away for 2 weeks because she has a vacation with her family. I had nowhere to go, so I went to the park and sat on a swing under the Sakura tree.
I covered my face with my hands and started to cry out loud. My mom and dad always fight every night and I can't take it anymore. My mother always accused my dad that he has an other woman but I know my dad couldn't do it. Well, at least that's what I believe.
I sobbed out loud, "Hotaru." I said between sobs.
I really need Hotaru now. I need someone to hear my problems. I need a shoulder to cry on.
"Oi," I heard a husky voice.
I was shocked on what I heard. I slightly jumped and fell on the swing. I whined in pain as I slowly stand up, rubbing my butt. I looked at the stranger beside me and glared t him. "Why did you do that?" I angrily said as I pointed my finger on his face. I'm not sure if it's his face. I can't really clearly see his face because it was covered with darkness.
He stepped forward so I can see his face and I almost gasped when I saw his face. He was so handsome. His crimson eyes were the first one I notice. It looks scary and cold yet mesmerizing and charming.
"What are you doing here, polkadots?" he asked.
I was confused when he called me polkadots. Then I realized that I was wearing polka-dotted underwear. I gasped out loud and screamed. "WHY YOU PREVERT!" I hugged myself with my tiny hands and glared at him. "How dare you?"
He rolled his eyes, "You're the one who showed it to me."
"And you dared to look-ACHOO!" I sneezed out loud. I rubbed my puffy nose. Geez, I hate colds.
"You shouldn't be here at this time of hour, little girl. You could be raped." He simply said as he walked towards the swing. I only stared at him and he patted softly the empty seat on the swing.
The swing is actually big so it could be occupied by two kids. I slowly walked towards him and sat beside him. My mom told me not to talk with strangers but I actually felt comfortable with him.
"You're cold" he said.
"Huh? Oh, no no." I answered as I faked a chuckle and then I sneezed again. He rolled his eyes and removed his jacket that he was wearing. He wrapped it around me. "Thank you," I said.
He shrugged. "Natsume Hyuuga."
I smiled at him and said, "Mikan Sakura."
"Why are you crying?" he asked. "I heard you crying and sobbing."
I sighed and told him my story. He actually comforted me but he still kept teasing me. We laughed all night and I really felt happy that night. All my problems vanished. He walked me home and I bid a goodbye.
From that day on, Natsume and I became best friends especially when we became classmates. At first, Hotaru was furious when she learned that I had a boy best friend but as days passed she just shrugged about it. Natsume and Hotaru were never in good terms. They always and get into each others nerve but thanks to Ruka, they got along now. Or at least that's what we thought.
Since that night, whenever Hotaru is busy, which is everyday, and I need someone to talk to we always meet at the park and I will tell all my problems to him and as my best friend, he will listen to me and give me good advices.
He was with me all the way. He was their when my dad and mom got separated and I need to choose between them. He was there when my mom died because of an accident. He was there when my dad followed my mom. He was there when I got my first award for being the Quiz Bee Champion. He was there when I got passed from the middle school entrance exam. He was there when I graduated and become a salutatorian and a summa com laude.
As he was with me in my journey called life; I was also with him thru the ups and downs of his life. I was there when his mother died because of a cancer. I was there when he had to baby-sit his little sister and he doesn't know how to. I was there when he had his first championship on basketball game. I was with him when he won the MVP award.
Oh, I can still remember that day.
We were all in the basketball gym. The game had just finished and they're announcing the people who won awards. I was with Natsume on my side. My other friends were at the back. Natsume drag me in front of the stage. I looked at him and I could tell he was nervous.
Their game just ended and they won. He was actually happy at that part but I can tell that he's nervous about the MVP award. His dad wanted him to have that award and he couldn't just dare to disappoint his dad now.
I touched his hand and he looked at me with those confused eyes. I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "Don't be nervous. You'll look ugly,"
He scoffed and smirked. "I'm not." I gave him a blank look telling him that I'm not believing his lies so he sighed, "Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous." I let out a chuckle and he glared at me. "For Christ's sake, polka, it's my first championship game and I should have the award."
My chuckle vanished and a grinned at him. "You will have it. Trust me,"
He let out a small smile and squeezed my hand, "I know."
Then the speaker said. "The winner of the MVP award was the player who had the highest points in the game. He had almost 40 points and more than 10 rebounds. And it was none other done that most famous, Natsume Hyuuga."
They all clapped as Natsume let out a breathe. He look happy, I know but his emotionless face covered that emotion that he felt right now. He walked to the stage and he accepted the award. Once the ward was on his hands, everyone cheered and clapped.
He walked towards the microphone and said his speech, "Thank you for my friends and for the fans and supporters," he began. Then he looked at me and smirked, "And of course for my best friend who was there to support me all the way. I wouldn't be here without you. For the support and for the faith, thank you, Mikan." He huskily said as the cheering continued.
That time I felt something wrong with me. I felt like my heart just skipped a beat and it just become to beat very fast. Something fluttering inside my stomach, like butterflies flying in my tummy. My cheeks were hot and red. I felt weird yet happy.
"Looks like someone's falling for you," a teasing voice whispered in my ear.
I looked at the person and there was Sumire and Koko with Ruka and Hotaru, smirking at me. "What are you saying?" I said with my eyebrow rasing.
Hotaru smirked, "Oh so you're acting like you don't know, huh?"
Ruka chuckled, "Who knows, Mikan. One day Natsume's speech would be 'for the support, faith and love, thank you Mikan Sakura, my girlfriend, I love you.'"
I blushed at that thought and they all laughed. I looked at Natsume who was holding the trophy with the proud look on his face. I wonder what if Ruka would be right? I shook my head. That wouldn't happen, I mean I'm his best friend, he was mine. We can't be more than friends right?
"Right," I muttered.
But then since that day, Natsume can't be removed in my mind. Whenever I see him, my heart starts to beat fast and I can't act like normal in front of him. Whenever he touches me, which is normal, I become to blush. When he calls my name which is very rare, I feel like I was in a wonderland.
I just shook that thought. Maybe I was sick that time. Yes, I'm just sick, that's what I thought all the time. But then something not really normal happened to me that I'm so sure it's not sickness anymore.
It's when he told me that he has a girlfriend.
I was in the library, doing my homework. It's due this afternoon and I haven't started yet. So, I spend my whole lunch break in the library and so I could also hide from Natsume since I think I have sickness, a weird sickness indeed and I don't want him to be infected.
I sighed as I looked at the last question. It was Math actually and my head really hurts now. I looked at the watch and I only have twenty minutes before the time. Oh, if Hotaru was just here, but no, she has Biology right now..
"Damn it," I muttered. Then I saw a familiar raven-haired boy walking towards my direction. He looks exited, I could tell it even if he looks like a walking statue.
"Hey," I called him.
He nodded at me and then I notice a red hair girl following him and then I notice their hands were intertwined with each other.
"Polka," he said. "I'd like you to meet someone,"
"Who?" I asked.
"This is Miyaki, she's my girlfriend. Miyaki this is Mikan, my best friend." He said as he smiled at the both of us.
I didn't answer or say anything. I was still grasping about the part if he just really said girlfriend. I looked at the red haired girl in front of me. She looks gorgeous. Her long silky red hair looks good. Her deep black eyes looks mesmerizing. They look perfect. I was no match.
Then I felt something wrong. It was like my heart just jumped out of my chest and was stomped by many people. It was like I can't breathe anymore. Like my world was shattered. I feel like it was the end of me. I want to cry but I just can't.
What is this feeling?
"Hi," Miyaki said.
I flashed her a fake smile, "Hey." I stuttered then I cleared my throat. "Um, I better go Natsume and Miyaki. I still have a meeting with Hotaru." I stood up and carried all my books. "See you later." I said as I ran away from them.
I ran as fast as I can and I just don't know where I'm going. My books started to fall and I didn't bother to picked them up. The hell I care about those books. I just wanted to get away from this pain.
Then I suddenly bumped in to someone. I landed on my butt but I didn't stood up. I just sat there, crying like a little girl. I felt the person who bumped me knelt down. I raised my head and I met a pair of silver eyes.
"Youichi?" I mumbled.
It was Natsume's team mate. He looked at me worriedly. "Are you okay?"
I sniffed and slightly nodded. "Yes,"
He handed me something and it was my books that fell while I was running. "You dropped these books." He said. He held my hand and helped me stood up.
"Thanks," I said while getting the books from his hands.
"You know, Mikan-chan. I've seen how you reacted when I heard Natsume introduced his girlfriend to you." He said. I was shocked when I heard his words. Did he just eavesdropping to us? As if reading my mind, he answered. "I wasn't eavesdropping so don't look at me like that. I was about to call you when Natsume arrived so I hid behind the shelves and waited for him to go but then you ran away…"
I sighed as tears were ready to fall from my eyes. "I…I…It's not about it."
"You can tell me, you know. I'm ready to listen." He said with a smile on his face.
We sat on a bench at a near park on our school. I told him what I felt and how it all started. I told him everything. I need to release this feeling or I know I'll be crazy. I was glad Youichi was ready to listen.
To be honest, Youichi and I wasn't that close but we are good friends. He was Natsume's closest team mate aside from Koko and Ruka but he was also the silent one. He wasn't cold and emotionless like Natsume but he was really silent. He rarely talks.
"I think I'm going crazy," I muttered as I wiped my tears.
"Yes, crazy in love with Natsume." He answered. I looked at him and he wasn't looking at me. He was staring at the birds in front of us.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
In love? That would be very ridiculous. I scoffed. "Yeah, like that's the last thing that I would felt towards him."
"Tell me, Mikan, how would you explain about the butterflies on your stomach, the blush on your cheek and your heart skipping a beat whenever he was there. You told me you never felt anything like this before."
"That's crazy, maybe I was sick or something?"
He chuckled, "You're really dense, are you? You wouldn't be crying and sobbing here if you don't love Natsume. You wouldn't be hurt when you learned that he has a girlfriend, if you don't love him."
I stayed silent. I was out of words. I love him? I love my best friend? He…He's the one I love. Oh God. Youichi's right. Hotaru's right. They were all right. I'm falling in love with my best friend.
From that day on, I realized that I love Natsume Hyuuga. I was scared at first when I learned that I love him. I was scared that maybe I would just be hurt after all he has a girlfriend. But because I know I love him so much, I was still his best friend.
I was still with him because I know it's the only way for him to feel that I love him. He may consider it as a friend but for me, it was more than just a friend. I know he only loves me as his best friend. Nothing more, nothing less but I still waited. I kept waiting and waiting for him.
A year later, Miyaki and him broke up and I was happy. He was sad and blue that time. He called me that night and told me about what he felt. It was the first time I saw him crying.
"I can't believe she cheated on me," he cried as he threw the pillow on the TV. He told me that he just caught Miyaki, making out with a guy on a coffee shop.
"Natsume calm down," I told him as I held his hand.
"Am I a bad boyfriend?" he said as he looked at me with his sad crimson eyes. I never saw him this sad and desperate. He look so wasted and depresses. Damn that Miyaki.
"Don't blame yourself Natsume. It wasn't your fault."
"I love her so much, Mikan." He mumbled.
I felt like a lighting struck me. Those were so painful to hear but I pay no mind because I wanted Natsume to be okay first. Natsume first before anything else.
"Sleep now, Natsume. You'll see by tomorrow, you'll get over it." I muttered as he lay down on the bed. He started to close his eyes as I hummed a song.
I looked at his sad face and I can see tear stain on his cheek. I never saw him cry like this. Maybe he did really love her after all. I caressed his cheek as I continued singing a song.
"Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more, maybe it's just my imagination. But I see you stare just a little too long and it makes me starts to wonder." I stopped singing when I notice that he was asleep.
I smiled at his innocent baby face. I kissed his forehead as a tear fell down on my cheek. "Natsume," I mumbled. "Just be mine, please. Why it can't just be me?" I muttered. I wiped the tears on my cheek and left him.
After that day, Natsume started to feel better. Again, he had tons of girlfriends but I kept waiting. My friends already know about my feelings towards Natsume and they were all their whenever I cry because Natsume had just another girlfriend.
Once, Hotaru and I had a little best friend talk. She told me that if I really love Natsume I should tell him because maybe, he too felt the same and yet he doesn't have any courage to tell me. I was actually nervous about it because I'm 99% sure that he doesn't like me, it's the 1% that keeps me waiting.
But then maybe Hotaru was right. I need to take the risk. So I went to him and told him about what I felt.
Natsume just finished the practice so I went to him at the gym. I will tell him today. It's now or never.
I sat beside him and said, "Hey!" I said.
We were alone in the gym because all the players went home.
"Hey, polka." He greeted back.
I pouted at the nickname he called me. "I have something to tell you," I said.
He started at me and raised his eyebrow. "What?"
I gulped. Okay, here goes nothing. "I…I love you," I whispered.
He looked at me with those shock eyes and said. "I love you too."
I was shocked by his response. My brown eyes narrowed when I heard those words. Those four words. "Re…really?" I stuttered.
He smiled at me and laughed, "Of course, I do. I'm your best friend so I really love you and you're my best friend and you love me too." He grabbed his gym bag and smiled. "Come on, polka." Then he walked away.
I sat their, disappointed, dumfounded, sad, miserable, upset and angry. I felt like I was the most stupid person ever. Then tears fell in my eyes. Yes, he loves me but as his best friend. Nothing else. I chuckled lightly as I was in the verge of crying. What was I thinking when I though about Natsume falling in love with me?
He would never ever do that. He would never fall in love with his best friend. I'm just his best friend and I would always stay like that.
Since that day, I was sure that I was just his friend. We would never be more than friends, I was sure of that. But that didn't stopped me from waiting for him. I waited with him until we got in to college; he was still the boy I love. He was still the one who owns my heart.
Suitors started to woo me but I never mind them. I never answered any one of them because Natsume is the only boy I love. I tried to divert my feelings to a guy but then Natsume would always be the one. He may be the reason of my heart aches but he's still the reason why my heart beats.
I was still with him all the way. From his success to failure, I was in his side. The time he was happy and sad, I stayed in love with him
Until now.
Until this very day.
Until this wedding day.
His wedding day.
He and Luna's wedding day.
He met Luna during our last year in college. Luna was my dorm mate actually and unfortunately, Natsume fell in love with her. She also had a feelings for Natsume and so me, being the good friend and loyal best friend, I helped them to be together.
And now, here they are. I'm the maid of honour of their simple wedding. I looked at Luna at the back and I saw her looking at Natsume, as I looked back at Natsume, I saw him looking at my direction and I was wrong awhile ago when I told you he was looking at me.
I wish he was looking at me.
I wish we're the one who would be getting married right now.
I wish I was the one who he fell in love with.
I wish I was the one who caught his heart.
I wish I wasn't just a best friend.
I wish he realized how much I love him.
That I loved him all this time. I loved him all my life.
I remember so well
The day that you came in to my life
You asked for my name
And you had the most beautiful smile
The song started to play and we all started to marched. I had a fake big smile on my face while walking towards the altar with the bride at my back. I looked at Natsume who mouthed at me 'Thank you, Mikan'. I smiled at him and a tear fell in my eyes.
I sat on the chair beside Hotaru as the mass began to start.
And so this is the start of Natsume and Luna's life.
----
It was the reception of the wedding and I was outside the hall. I saw a Sakura tree and a swing under it. Just like the place we met a long time ago. I walked towards there and sat on the swing.
I looked at the stars at the sky. They looks so nice and so lovely. I sighed. Ever since I arrived in this place and ever since the wedding had started all I wanted to do is cry my heart out. To release the pain I've been feeling inside me.
But I just can't do that here. I just can't ruin my best friend's weeding day even if I want to. I'd be a really really bad best friend. I don't want to leave this place with Natsume holding a grudge to me.
Yeah, you heard it right. After this night, I'd be moving on a place where no one knows me. I've resigned from my job a week ago without anyone knowing it. I wanted to leave this place so I can totally forget Natsume. I know when I left he wouldn't be that sad after all I didn't mean anything to him.
"Mikan," a voice interrupted my voice.
I jerked my head and I saw Natsume standing there with his hands on his pocket. He look so handsome and hot with the tux. He walked beside me. "Why are you here?"
I shook my head, "Nothing." I let out a small smile, "Congratulations, Natsume,"
"Thank you," then he chuckled. "Can't you believe it? I'm married now."
I let out a small croaky laugh, "Yeah you are."
"If it wasn't for you, polka, Luna and I would never be together." He muttered.
If you only knew how that hurts when I was your bridge just for you to be together. "Yeah," I simply answered while stopping the tears that are ready to fall anytime.
"I'm so thankful for having a best friend like you," he continued. He was about to say something when I stood up and looked at him. I flashed him the happiest smile I could ever show that time and hugged him tight. He was shocked at first and then he hugged me back. "Natsume, whatever happens I won't forget you." I muttered. I let go of him and smiled. I slowly walked away leaving Natsume behind. Leaving him forever.
And the only thing that's on my mind was; Oh, Natsume, why can't you see? You belong with me.
"Mikan," Natsume's voice boomed as he knocked on the door.
It's been a month since he saw Mikan and he wanted to see her now. He also wanted to tell her what he'd been feeling right now towards Luna. The truth, a week after the wedding, he started to feel nothing with Luna. He thinks he's falling out of love.
He had been knocking on the door several times. Maybe she's still asleep he thought. He stuffed the keys on the pocket and opened Mikan's apartment. As he opened the door, he noticed Mikan's apartment was empty. Only sofas were left inside.
"Mikan?" he called her name. "Are you there?"
Then he notice a paper on a sofa. It was a paper folded like a letter. He picked it up and saw his name on the back of the paper. It was for him from Mikan. He unfolded the paper and read the letter.
Dear Natsume,
By the time you read this letter, for sure I wasn't in Tokyo anymore. I write you this letter, my goodbye letter, to let you know how much I love you—not just as your best friend but as the girl who loves you with all her heart and soul. I know for you, I'm just your best friend and so I stayed one. At first I was expecting for you to love me the way just like I do to you but when you told me you love me but just as your best friend, I was sure I was just a best friend to you. I will always be your friend even if you're married now and I'm away. You'll always be the reason why my heart beats even if it's into pieces. You'll always be the reason for me to wake up in the morning and face another day. You may not feel anything for me besides friendship but I would like you to know that in my heart you'll always be the boy who captured my heart and gave colour to my life. You may be thinking how pathetic I am for not telling you about this but I swear to God, I told you what I felt before, remember the time I told you I love you in the gym? But all you said you love me too but as just your friend. I accepted that fact and I was contented with it. I'm happy that you've been part of my life. I'll never regret meeting you Natsume.
Never.
Don't feel guilty about this, please because this was my decision. I hope you'll be happy with your married life with Luna. I hope you all the good lucks and the best wishes. You may be thinking where the hell am I now but please don't find me. I need to find myself right now, to where I really belong. I just wanted to get away from the pain of seeing you with your wife and your children. I know you're happy with Luna and I'm already happy as long as you are.
Loving you made me felt a lot of things. I cried. I suffered and I fought. But in the end, I felt all the tears and suffering were all worth it because even if I cried. I suffered. I fought but I loved you. I loved you with all that I am.
Best friends forever right? Don't find a new best friend okay? Because Tangerine and Crimson would always fit together.
I need to go now. I need to say goodbye and surrender from this fight. Thank you Natsume Hyuuga. I'll see you soon.
I love you.
Your best friend,
Mikan Sakura
As he read the letter he felt like his heart was crashing. How could he never realized that his best friend was in love with him? Was he that blind? Ruka and his friends were right. He was so dense and stupid. They've been telling him all this time that Mikan was hopelessly in love with him but all he did was ignore it and just continued hurting Mikan.
And that time, he cried like it was the first time he ever cried.
He felt his heart shattered in to piece and like his world was crashing. He felt like a big piece in his life was gone.
And with that he realized something.
He never loved Miyaki, Luna or his ex-girlfriends. The crazy beating of his heart and the butterflies in his stomach that he felt whenever Mikan was there wasn't just any sickness.
It was love.
He loved Mikan Sakura.
And he was stupid for letting her go.
Review? Did you like it? I hope you do ;) Thank you for reading. Drop a review please, :))