Disclaimer: I don't own it.

(Author's Note: Hey HEY hey! Been having this one brewing up in my head for a long time but just now decided to publish it on here =D. For those who've read my previous fics 'Once in a Blue Moon' and 'Speak like a Freak' THANKS! And don't worry—the last chapter for the Cowboy Bebop one is coming up—just need to fix the damn comp first downstairs. =( I've never written a comic book based story before and it's been a while since I've seen the series but I think over all it's gonna be good. I'm excited about it =D. This is a sort of two part one shot, depending on how the first review on this chapter goes—then I might continue it. This first chapter is rated R but none of the good parts yet. Gotta..you know..give y'all the foreplay first. Oh yeah baby…..oh yeah you like that..? Huh..? ….fuck no more wine for me..x.x)

Summary: What really revs up a 'Harley' more than a bad 'joke'? A dark 'Knight'. Two part one shot with the potential of a continuation.

"I've been roaming around always looking down and all I see.."

-=oOo=-

"Session eleven dated Twenty-Ninth of February. Subject's name is Dr. Harleen Quinzelle, also referenced as 'Harley Quinn.' Status: Single. Orientation: Straight. Session started. So….. Harleen. The last time we spoke, you were telling me about your..'relationship' as you call it, with the Joker. "

"Ah…Puddin'…"

"As… you so affectionately call him, yes. However, there's a topic I would very much like to touch on, if you don't mind me asking that is. "

"Not at all lady." Harley exclaimed excitedly, clutching a piece of satin red and black cloth around her wrists she carried with her since being re-admitted. "Lay it on me! Tell Harley what's on yer mind. I'm a psychiatrist ya know."

"Used to be, you mean."

"Still am, doc! Didn't go to med school for nothin' and they ain't revoked my degrees yet. Eat it." Immaturely the woman stuck her tongue out before folding her arms akimbo, the cloth now dangling to her right side. "Now whaddaya wanna talk to me about?"

"Well..it most certainly has to deal with how you ended up back here..again. It's been three weeks and so far you haven't..discussed as to how you acquired those awful scars and bruises in the first place. It couldn't be from fighting Batman now, could it?"

"Well B-man certainly does pack a wallop.."

"As I would imagine."

"..But it wasn't from Batman."

The doctor stopped her pencil pushing for a bit before looking up at who (out of her costume) is now Harleen Quinzelle. She sat across from the dark skinned doctor with an 'obedient child' pose on her chair, looking down at the ground now with a feeble disposition. The mention of her own response in accordance to the doctor's question seemed to have put a damper in her attitude the moment it was placed on the table, and now Harleen seemed…distant. The red and black satin ribbon was wrapped gently around her wrists now, with its owner tightening and releasing it as she pleased—a personal mental way to relieve her internal stress and redirect it elsewhere. The doctor continued, snapping out of her slight sympathy bout and continued writing her notes in her black and yellow leather journal.

"Then who was it from?" The doctor continued.

"….." Harleen's left foot shifted, subconsciously so because it was the same leg that hung over the lone filth ridden trashcan.

"Who were those scars from, Harleen?"

"I…." She began, but trailed off as the memory grew strong and more prevalent in her mind.

"Harlee-"

"Y' know goddamn well who they're from you stupid bitch so stop askin' me questions you already know tha' answers to!" Her head was at full attention to the doctors' now, her pain, anger and sorrows now spilled over on the table. Her hands quivered in temperamental anticipation, desperately wanting to hit something or someone just to release the tension from her body, her mind and spirit. An awkward silence surrounded the two, before she lowered her head towards the ground, baby blues watering slightly as she remembered every hit, every punch..

The thunder rolled gently outside, followed by a flash of lightning, highlighting immediately the lonely tear that rolled down the vigilante's face.

"I'm sorry.."

"No..no it's…it's alright ya know? I'm just..just tryin' ta deal with it ya know? Just…be….normal."

"Was there ever a time you felt normal, Harleen..?"

The chains on her feet rattled lightly as she shifted her left leg again, this time due to another memory. A smile came to her blood red lips, gently biting down on her bottom lip before releasing. Her hands clasped tightly around the material, before letting it fall to the floor haphazardly.

"..Ya know that song..oh what's it called..'Change in the house of flies'?"

"..Yes, I believe so. What of it?"

"Well..I felt like a fly..when I got pushed out the window.."

"Pardon?"

"Lemme put it to you like this toots—it ain't no picnic. I'll tell you a story…but the confidentiality thing has gotta stay put between us gals, 'k?"

"Well.."

"I mean it, doc! You gotta trust me on this one. Tell anyone and somethin' might happen. I've seen it, I know and it might get back to B-man somehow. Promise?"

The female doctor smiled warmly, nodding her head to indicate that her client had her significant trust. The blonde bent down to pick up the material from off the floor and dangled it in between her finger tips, continuously letting it fall from one hand to another. Her eyes seemed so fixated on the object, that the doctor couldn't tell if the patient was ready to begin her tale or no. However, after a couple seconds passed..

"…..FROM FOLKS WHO JUST DON'T GET THE JOKE!" The last words from her 'loving sweetheart' replayed themselves over and over in her mind like a skipped juke box record. With a deep sigh, she began her tale.

"And so it began..my one of many 'fall outs' with my sweetheart..and all because I wanted to put a smile on his face. Even bigger than the one he had already. Imagine, a gal can't even please her man anymore without getting slapped up or being pushed out a window…heh..thats life I suppose.

I wanted to scream as I fell out the window..but I ..I couldn't, ya know? Its like I'd lost my voise or somethin'. I tried desperately to hold on tah somethin'..whether it was concrete, mental..physical..I actually think I was trying tah hold on tah my own sanity really—not that I had any to begin with. Puddin' convinced me of that after the incident."

"What incident?"

"That he pushed me out the window of course. Right outta Aquacade it happened. I tried to impress mistah j by hanging B-man upside down so he could see the fishies smile. Didn't work…."

"So he PUSHED YOU?"

"Yep. Forty foot drop can you imagine that?"

"That's terrible!"

"Oh I've had been in worse. Heh, one time Puddin' hung ME upside down in a ring full diamond backs and cobras. He thought it'd be funny if I could wriggle out of the rope like a snake before it wriggled on to me. Haaaaaah!...Yeah we had sex after that."

"Right so…tell me more. What happened, how'd it go, what went wrong and such?"

"Well…after I got myself back up, I decided to walk around a bit. Y'know to catch the city sights and what not. I wasn't ready to go back yet…I couldn't face mistah j after what I did. I mean, it was my own stupid fault for not getting the joke then ya know? I learned my lesson now, that I did and boy oh BOY was it a hard lesson to learn. Course I couldn't keep on walking around for long-can't risk the cops come lookin' fer me so! I stopped by Red's house."

"By 'Red' I assume Poison Ivy, correct?"

"Correcto. It was already raining by then if I can remember…actually yeah, it was raining. Was rainin' pretty hard too…yep…sure was…"

-==Harley's Recollection, Author's P.O.V.==-

Funny how Gotham news predicted warm dry weather all week long and yet here she was, soaking wet from the sudden unexpected downpour of rain. She'd been walking around for two hours, trying to remember the only other place she was able to call her 'home'. Harley had seriously contemplated if she should stay among the rubbish heap and let the dogs have the field day, or run and try to find a place to lay her head down for a while. Taking option two, she began the painful process of walking—an action she quickly grew to regret upon discovering the black and blue sprain on her left ankle. She could only hope to God that Ivy was home..

The potted Venus fly trap accompanied by a light in a room on the third floor of the rinky dink apartment building was a good confirmation—and with a bit of relief in her heart she slowly made her way over to her comrade's residence.

Both her ankles and calves were bleeding profusely and her arms weren't in better shape either. The blood that formed between her lips ran like the river Jordan which dawned on her that if she didn't get the help she needed soon, she'd be in deep trouble. As she approached the intercom, she could feel a wave of nausea hit her like a ton of bricks. The steel door leading inside the building looked more like a merry go round, and it was at that point that Harley didn't mind just sleeping at the stairs for the rest of it night, if it meant she didn't have to move. She rang the intercom once. Twice. Three times…

"Good evening Mr. Postman." The smooth sultry voice of a woman picked up, with an almost sexual undertone to her words. Harley frowned, deciding to let Ivy continue her speech. "Another mail for me..? Why don't you come up here and personally deliver that letter yourself? I'll make it worth your while….."

"Erhm..Ivy, yea hey. It's..it's me."

"Wh—Harley darling is that you?"

"Y—yea.."

"You poor thing, you sound cold as ice! Do, come inside right now! We need to get you out of those wet clothes!"

The light located on the side of the steel door light up green and quickly it opened, allowing the black and red clad female to shuffle her way in. The pain was unimaginable every time she walked. For her, it would be a comparison to walking on hot coals—something that the Joker often made her stand on just to see if she could prove to him how much she loved him. However, as he soon learned after two hours and seventeen minutes of her sitting down upon said coals reading a Cosmopolitan magazine on 'How to please your man', she loved him a bit too much.

The stairs leading up to her doorway were rickety and worn out as though it had been there for ages. Lime green plant matter began to surface itself on the railings each time Harley struggled up those flight of stairs and the vigilante couldn't help but let out a sigh, knowing that this was a hell of a lot better than going back to her 'Mistah J'..for now. The ambience changed from dark and gloomy to a slight red and green hue hovering in the air due to Ivy's plants pollinating inside.

Red's gonna have a fit..

The door swung open and at the top of the stairs stood a white and grey stripped men's dress shirt clad female paired with tomato colored shorts. Her arms outstretched towards Harley, who in return blinked moronically and shuffled her way past the seductive female.

"Holly..?" She inquired before taking a gander at her legs. "Oh my word, Holly..WHAT IN BLAZES HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"Eh…Mistah J and I had a falling out..heh heh….got it..? Ugh.." And with a plop the injured blonde fell face first into the couch, a soft grumble emitting from between the cushy brown and pink pillows. Pamela blinked quizzically before questioning her comrade.

"Falling out? He made you fall?"

"I didn't get the joke.." Harley replied from between the pillows. A short pause in between, then she continued. "So he pushed me out the window, Red.."

"Hmpf! Men. I tell you, when me and my babies take over this planet, the first THING I'm going to do is get rid of Joker—for GOOD. You don't need him, you know that and you know better than that! You understand me?"

"…."

"Harley!"

"Mmm hmm.." Harley waved her hand about in a fly swatting motion, hoping to keep Ivy quiet before any more 'women's liberation' rants came forth from her mouth

The tinted green oddity sighed, shaking her head is disapproval. Sure Harley was her best friend and partner in crime…but even she had to admit she can be an idiot at times when it came on to the word 'love'. "Wait here." She instructed before running into the kitchen. A hustle was heard, followed by incoherent mumbling and within a few minutes emerged with a glass filled to the brim with brown and green liquid.

"Drink this, and don't stop."

Reluctantly the female turned her head to Ivy, only to be looking directly at a tall glass of questionable substance.

"..I ain't touchin' it"

"Just drink it."

"It smells like pee."

"Drink."

"Actually it smells worse than pee. It smells like absolute shi—"

"DRINK IT!"

And with a deep breath, dramatic exclamation and proper upright yet unnecessary body positioning typical of Harley, she drank every last bit of it—while making uncomfortable glances with Ivy of course. Red of course smiled wildly to herself. The concoction didn't HAVE to smell or taste bad..she in fact altered it as means to punish her friend for being associated with the Joker in the place. Regardless the taste didn't seem to have an effect of the outcome, for within mere seconds, Harley's bruises and bones were almost completely healed, especially within her legs.

"Woah..trippy! Where'd ya get this stuff Red?" She inquired, slamming the glass on the wooden table before leaning back in the couch fully satisfied.

"I made it myself actually. It's a blend of the Binniverous plant and the Boxus plant. See, once you combine the chemical compound of the Boxus and Jupiter's Blossom and then follow the Ionic complex of both the plants with the Binni—"

"BOOOOOORING! Come on, I wanna watch T.V! Ed Edd n' Eddy's on!"

"Ugh..seriously..?"

"Yeah man! Oh, and by any chance, ya got an extra costume for me? I remember I left one here afta last time.."

"Yeah it should be in the room. If you want I can go pack it up in a bag for you, but you have to promise me to bring back my bag. ..It's expensive."

"Didn't you get it from some guy name Ed?"

"…Ed Hardy you mean?"

"I dunno his name! All these men around you..it's hard to keep track, ya know."

"…Ugh…"

-==Presently in Arkham==-

"Then what happened?"

"Well Edd just found out that Nas has a crush on him too, so he's all dressed up and stu—"

"No Harley, keep up, I meant about you and Poison Ivy. Was there anything significant? Anything at all? We need to get to the bottom of it all, so I can write you that clean bill of health you've been waiting for."

Stick her tongue on the outside of her right cheek and glancing upwards on the roof in that 'I'm thinking' manner, she snapped her fingers expressively once she came to a realization.

"Yeah as a matter of fact there was! See, Red had autotuned the T.V to the news.."

-==Harley's Recollection==-

"AHAHAHAHA! Mff..stupid Double D! Oh bo—wait hey! REEEEEEED! THE T.V'S BUSTED!"

Glancing up from her GQ magazine, she watched as the television autotuned itself to the local news. Red let out a sigh of relief and got up from her location to snatch the remote from Harley's grip.

"Give me that. And it's not broken..I need to see if they got me on the news. Gotta look good for the cameras after all."

"Whadidja do this time?"

"Oh the usual bank robbery..hold on hold on."

"…-ison Ivy, was seen making a break in her getaway as she leaped from this seven story building on to a secure location. No word on whether she made it out alive, but the police are certainly investigating this matter further."

Needless to say, Red was furious.

"THAT'S ALL? ALL THAT SHOWSMANSHIP FOR WHAT? TWENTY SECONDS OF GARBAGE? RIDICULOUS! I PUT MORE WORK INTO THAT ROBBERY THAN ANY OTHER VIGILANTE OUT THERE AND THEY ONLY GAVE ME A SIDE STEP SEVEN O CLOCK PREVIEW! A MALE MUST'VE DOMINATED THIS PROGRAM, I TELL YOU!"

"Bffft, face it Ivy yer losin' yer edge. You need tah relax, ya know?"

"I AM relaxed Holly! Gotham's been taking advantage of my kindness for too long. Too long I've been giving them a break, trying to think of other ways to make the world better. Hell I might just blow this whole planet up and dominate it with me and my babies! How'd they like that?"

"Ya know even then I still think you'd only get ten seconds on the news for that one..."

"Well I least got something." Ivy snapped back bitterly, her arms akimbo. "This coming from the same chick who fell eight stories down and no one cared right?"

"….." In that moment, she'd hit an all time low. Harley lowered her head slightly, her hands gripping the torn costume she had yet to come out of.

"..Harley I'm sorry.."

"No, yer right. Heh..it was pretty funny though..I got the joke as soon as I landed."

"You still found it funny?"

"Heck, why not? And it was even better 'cause Batman was there to see it. I got the strange feeling that if I didn't tie him up like I did, he woulda came and saved me. Ironic huh?"

"Highly. Now-..oh hello. What's this?"

Both their attention turned to the screen, where the male announcer kept on talking. However, the image that popped up beside him was not that of another hoodlum running wild in the streets of Gotham, but rather the picture of a smiling Bruce Wayne, shaking hands with another gentleman in front of a very crowded building.

"Turn it up, turn it up!"

"..Of Wayne Enterprises, Bruce Wayne himself and the mayor will be cutting the ribbon tonight in celebration of the opening of the 'Black Label' Club."

"Oh my, he certainly does look quite handsome on T.V as he does in person. Remember that Christmas night, Holly?"

"We're gonna do it again? Oh please oh please oh pleeeeeease!"

"Not tonight Harls. In fact, I have something else planned for Mr. Wayne.."

"Like what?"

"Well..wouldn't it be fun if we could have a lil' fun with him?"

"Ya mean like last time?"

"I was thinking something more…risque."

"Oooh Yeah! Like dress him up as Bats and poke him around and tickle him till milk starts spewing out his nose and—!"

"No no sweetie, not your kind of fun."

"Hmpf! Well..whaddayamean?"

"I'm saying.." Poison Ivy slowly sauntered over to a now confused Harley Quinn, sitting and positioning herself comfortably in her friend's lap. One lone long slender index finger ran light down the base of Harley's neck, while her face and pouting red lips ventured ever so to the black and red clad female's own pair.

"That maybe..we could have a little fun…"

"With him right?"

"…and fool around a little bit…"

"Wi..with him, right?"

"It's been quite some time since I've had any fun around this boorish place. What do you say Harls? Want to try something new and have a good time..?"

Harley looked into the seductress' green eyes before casting them down to the ever present breasts that seemed to jiggle unnecessarily in front of her face. Harley frowned irritably before then reiterating..

"….With him right?"

Pamela laughed and sat backwards from her friend, slapping her right knee in comedic fashion.

"Of COURSE with Bruce, silly! You didn't think it was with you now would you?"

"Weeell I dunno. Sometimes you kinda come off as a…"

"Sex goddess I know, I've heard."

"…Aaaactually I was gonna say les—"

"Ooh look! There he is again!"

"Turn it up turn it up!"

"…..as Gotham's most eligible Bachelor Bruce Wayne and the Mayor, Mr. John Smith cut the ribbon for tonight's grand opening of the Black Label nightclub. Boasted as Gotham's first five star restaurant, upscale dance club and lounge area, this is sure to be, as expected, the play ground of the truly rich and famous. Located on Bank's Ave, Gotham's elegant residential and community area, this-"

"Harls, we should totally go."

"Really? Do ya think we can get in?"

"Of course! …Well..not willingly of course. First we'd have to get past the security…which shouldn't be a problem once I whip up a batch of what my babies have to offer."

"Ooh you mean that pink sexy time stuff you used on Batman when you wanted to rape—"

"AH AH AH! …Yes. That one. Now..when does this opening start?"

"…of the 'Black Label' night club which is fastly becoming a hit, has been bump up unexpectedly to seven forty five PM this evening."

"Hmm..how coincidentally convenient. Well! Harley…no offense dear but you simply must knock 'em dead tonight..shall we say..Brucie Bruce?"

"Naaah ..tonight I just wanna let loose ya know? Let my hair down, just..just forget about everything ya know. Just forget about the Ha-Hacienda, my…my babies, even though I miss 'em terribly and….mistah J. ..AND Mistah J. Yeah..YEAH JUST FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! THE BROKEN SEAMS! THE CHOKES AND THE SCREAMS! THE SCREAMS, THE FALLS, OH THE FALLS OF IT ALL! ALL THANKS TO BATMAN!"

"…..Finished with the monologue?"

"Yeah just had to..get that out there."

"Good. Now..let's start the show! I got a cute lil' dress I think would look perfect on you.."

-==Presently in Arkham.==-

"So then what happened?"

"Yeesh, hold yer horses lady, the way you're actin', you'd think I'm telling an episode of 'Days of Our Lives'!"

"Well to be honest, your story seems pretty basic so far.."

"Ya well I ain't to tha' good stuff so quit interruptin'. So anyway..me and Red we get all dressed up, right? Course she looks amazin'. The poor girl never goes anywhere without dressing up, but I think she gave me one of her best dresses by mistake cause..well..I looked better."

"What brand dress, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Uhm..I think Red said it was a vern archie..or somethin'."

"..'Versace'."

"Bless you."

"No no, I meant the brand Versace. That's what you meant to say."

"Listen lady, I'm a doctor, not Spanish, so all that ching chan chong ya doin'? Stop. Anyway..we dress and whatever and go to tha' joint, but we stood afar from this vantage point across from it. Couldn't risk tha' people seein' us without 'em calling the cops so we look fer another way in.."

-==Harley's Recollection; Author's P.O.V ==-

"Come on..! Ugh, I told you not to eat so much before we left the house!"

"But I was huuungry..!"

"Too bad!"

"..Meanie."

"Shh! Come on..we still have to figure out a way how to get inside. We can't risk those people seeing us and calling those male pigs, so we'll have to find a way. Got your bag?"

"Yep."

"Good. We'll stick it somewhere safe just in case. Now..let's see.."

The green eyed oddity scanned the area for any sign of a back door break in to the club. The front entrance of the club itself was an immediate disqualification, for literally hundreds of people were swarming to just even get a peek at what inside looked like. Some were out there for the mere satisfaction of being a part of the crowd, some a part of the paparazzi forte and the majority were either celebrities coming in to bless the place with their presence, or the high elite that had the money to make their way on to the red carpet. Models from all walks of life walked beside their male counterparts, body guards of the same massive intimidating bulky body structure followed closely behind with their dark shades on, hands akimbo. Black and white limousines, as far as Ivy and Harley could see, were jam packed up front the entrance to the red carpet, giving spectators the mental image and guess of who could possibly be inside. As the spotlights shone all across Gotham's ominous dark blue skies, so did the flashing lights of the paparazzi cameras on to the faces of the distinguished young and old, hands waving, teeth glittering, scantily clad in all their lustful glory before soon disappearing behind the red and black curtains that lead inside the now famous and heavily advertised Black Label club. Marilyn Manson's version of 'Sweet Dreams' was the music theme for that moment, seemingly fitting in perfectly with the hustle and bustle of the individuals present. All Poison Ivy could do was smile, and all Harley could do was snap her fingers—both were just itching to get inside and get the party really going.

Looking off to the left of the main entrance, the infamous red head spotted a semi secluded metal dull spiked side door with an 'Exit' sign hovering over the top. The area itself was a bit of a dump—with an actual dumpster not too far off from where the back entrance was. Never the less, the greeting of a red security rope complete with two metal poles at both sides were a clear indication that it was most definitely a makeshift V.I.P entrance.

"There! Come on Harley, I think I found a way in."

And off the two well dressed ladies went, making absolutely sure to avoid the public, the local security and the police (especially the police) to reach their destination—behind the large dumpster. Harley frowned, fixing the base of her dress with her left hand while steadying herself with her right.

"Yeesh..it stinks worse than your cooking."

"Shut up you. Come on, let's g—"

Before another word was uttered, the backdoor was immediately swung open, allowing two large Caucasian men to walk through. The first one that walked out was probably no more than in his mid thirties, though his stomach size seemed to be in its fifties by itself. The chicken wing stain on his white and black shirt was clearly evident, followed by the trail of pubic hair that seemed to stop at the base of his neck. His dirty blonde hair was highly unkempt and by the looks of it, seemed as though it hadn't been washed in weeks. Though the other man didn't seem half as bad, although anyone who saw him could and would most certainly agree that something about the shifty way he moved didn't seem kosher..and certainly didn't smell kosher either. Dressed in a full suit that screamed 'lottery', and cologne that uttered 'Two for ten knock offs' one could only conclude that he was either the manager for the club, or one of its co-owners. The smell of Cush marijuana filled the air almost instantaneously as he exhaled smoke from within his lungs and through his nose, coughing in conjunction as he did this.

"You alright boss?" The unkempt one asked, scratching the back of his head lightly before stepping to the right of the exit sign above. The man cleared his throat and waved off his previous action.

"Yeah I'm alright. Now listen..'member what we spoke about. We need to keep a high profile up on this place, and some of our valued guests don't too like the spotlight all that much. You stay your sorry behind here and guard this guest list with your life." The man handed his security guard a clipboard notebook with some scribbles written on it. Glancing over it at once, he whistled lightly at the first name that appeared as number one.

"Figures Mr. Wayne would show his rich ass here. That man ain't got nothin' better to do than party and feed poor hungry bastards. Hell, he needs to give me a job. One that pays better than this shit.."

"You complaining already Benny? I just hired you not four hours ago and this is the first task you've been given all night. What's tha matter with you huh? You ain't satisfied with nothin'!"

"I AM satisfied! I got kids ta feed at home, but at the same time I don't want this shithole Johnny, you know that. Listen..I appreciate you givin' me a job an' all but this..this ain't me man. You know how Gotham is at night, and I don't like bein' out here too late. What if Joker shows up or somethin'?"

"Then knock him out! You're security for a reason Ben so suck it up. I'll be out here in an hour to come check on you. Ain't nothin' gonna happen to ya, I promise alright? Here.." The neatly dressed gentleman handed his comrade a 'roach', waving it twice in his face before his comrade finally decided to accept it.

"Wow. A whole tree. You shouldn't have Johnny"

"You bein' sarcastic with me?"

"I'm just sayin' though, you coulda gave me a full blunt. We've been friends for how long an' all I ever get is scraps from you."

"Alright alright! Here." From his pockets came a pinky size make shift cigarette, reluctantly shoved into the hands of his now ungrateful companion. He then turns his back and smiled to himself, listening to the various sounds and music booming from inside the club.

"Gonna go make that money. Remember now—no one BUT V.I.P, got it?"

"Yeah yeah got it..see ya in an hour. An' bring me a beer when you comin' back too will ya?"

"If I remember. Now get to work." And just like that, poor Benny was all alone. Harley and Ivy looked to each other with a smirk, before giving each other a nod of wordless acknowledgement. They watched as the security guard sighed deeply, shaking his right leg lightly before crossing his arms akimbo. It had to be about seventy degrees outside, yet for someone rather large it was clear that he was visibly cold. Looking at the blunt in between his fingers, he mumbled incoherently to himself before placing the object between his dry crusty lips. Inserting his right hand into his pockets and fumbling around for a few seconds to find his desired object, he soon pulled out a lighter—with the logo of a local strip club painted at the front. He tried to light it once…twice..

"Goddamnit come on." This was not his night at all. The blunt would warm him up, sure for the smoke inhaled and held would light his body good. But with the damn thing not working even though he'd bought it yesterday, paired with the fact that he had to be out there till seven in the morning, he was beginning to be a very pissed off man.

"..He better damn well bring me back my beer, or I swear to Go-."

A throat cleared is heard and immediately he glances up from his everlasting clicking only to stare into the deep seductive eyes of the goddess that stood before him. The blunt in his mouth dropped to the floor, and the hard on that was beginning to form in his trousers was about to become very apparent. Poison Ivy smirked, swinging her hips slightly to her right to emphasize her curvaceous figure in front of the now astonished male. Her blood red tight fitted Versace side scrunched dress fitted her to a 'T', and no man in the world, not even Batman himself if he were there would dare dispute the fact that she looked damn good. The black five inch stilettos she wore with diamond encrusted heel were certainly the knock out piece to this man's fire, along with her seemingly perfectly manicured toes that was his main attraction more than anything. His fetish, it would seem.

Slowly she sauntered over towards him, her smile still present on her rosy red lips. His hands, now sweaty and shaking gripped the sides of the notebook clipboard, clearing his throat as well and tried his best to maintain his professionalism.

"…Baby, you look better than any drug I've ever taken." So much for professionalism. Ivy smiled in response, making sure to draw attention to her long slender legs for she realized that those were her goody points if she wanted both her and Harley to get inside, though Harley herself was crouched and hidden behind the building's brick wall.

"Really now..?" She started, taking a glance at her cleavage before redirecting her gaze towards him. "I seem to get that a lot lately. How do I know if you're telling the truth, big boy..?"

"Come with me tonight, and I'll show you how much this big boy ain't lyin'."

Ivy chuckled. God she hated him already. The process needed to be sped up on the double, so Ivy upped the one sided sexual tension by gently gliding her fingernails up her left thigh, making sure to stare into the eyes of the now fully turned on man whom, by the looks of it, was most definitely about to break the living hell out of the poor clipboard.

"What do I have to do to get inside that club..?"

NOW his smiled widened. Yeah yeah he mentioned that he had kids to feed..and there certainly was the wife at home to take care of the little bastards, but..

It felt like years since he'd gotten any from her. The only time, if he recalled correctly that he'd gotten any sort of loving was the night they conceived their second child..and that happened by accident yet again a year ago. Life would've certain been better and treated him a lot better if he'd learn to keep it in his pants and not sleep with the village whore in his town..but apparently the way how the story went was that his first love, though she'd betray him some years back was trying to make up for her mistakes by doing what exactly? Trying to please him. Every piece of lingerie, every poem written, every tear she cried out of sheer guilt she did for him. Her reason for seeing someone else, in her defense was simple—her love was keeping secrets. A LOT of secrets. She'd often shared her deepest darkest fears and emotions with the new largely built man, opened up her heart and trust to him, but over the years she'd slowly realize that she was getting nothing back. His own insecurities turned into suspicion to her..which in turn caused her to venture and fall for another. The girl he remembered was gorgeous, almost as gorgeous as the one that was standing in front of him right now. An up and coming model, the man had it made the moment he broke down her walls. If he'd follow his mind, he would've listened instead of jumping the gun. The woman loved him to death..and would've definitely taken care of him once she followed her dreams. As a result of an argument and a surprise pregnancy announcement from the woman he was now stuck with for the rest of his life, the two decided to call it quits. He thought life would from there on end be stress free—all the late nights he wanted from a gal he was only getting twenty percent from in the beginning, now in the end it was virtually non-existent. His lack of motivation to go back to school, his preoccupation with his children, cold shoulder from his 'wife', followed by rumors of her sleeping around with some hot new celebrity wrestler was not helping his mindset at all. He needed a release..a temporary reminder of what he COULD'VE had back when he held his first love in his arms. Before he looked like a shit stain on the underwear of society's ass. Back when he was somebody, someone that people looked up to-'The American Hero'. He looked towards Ivy and a slight smile crossed his lips..she, if even for that moment was going to be his Anna Maria, his first love, even if just like that it'd be gone in an instant. He didn't know how soon it would be.

To get inside the club, he simply groped himself with his left hand, suggesting that the beautiful redhead get on her knees and get to work. He can pretend..a man can pretend. He was only the shell of one, but he can damn sure pretend.

He never heard the deep chuckle that emitted from her throat, nor saw when she pulled out a small black velvet object from underneath her dress. The only thing that caught his attention that something may be fishy was the strong contingent smell of what seemed to be frank incense. Immediately she stood up with a stern expression on her face, accompanied by a swift kick in the face. The man staggered backwards into the steel dull spiked door, his intended yelp inaudible which gave Ivy just enough time to blow some of her plant concoction his way, stepping back as she watched it do its magic.

"Wha-what the hell is this lady!"

His screams could not be heard from inside for the music inside boomed loudly. So loud in fact that the trashcans rattled slightly at the decibels vibrating within the atmosphere, in conjunction with the fact that there simply was too much noise outside generated by the screams of those by the main entrance for anyone to raises suspicious alarm.

Harley's eyes widened in intrigued as the man tried desperately to wipe the substance off his face, but it was of no use. It had the effect of corrosive acid; tearing and peeling his face off rapidly before he collapsed to the ground beside the red security rope, his mouth now foaming like a starved rabid dog on the loose and his body convulsing like that of a seizure patient. His eyes seemed to be calling out to Poison Ivy for help, whom in turned laughed at his displeasure, satisfied to see that her first test subject of her new poison worked like a charm indeed. In his final moments he felt his body go numb, and the only person that ran through his mind were not his wife..but rather his daughter, son, and the woman who's heart he'd broken years ago.

"Anna…..Ma..ri..a.." The vision of her and the man she'd fell for flooded his mind like raging waters to an inner city town. The young rich debonair who went by the name of Leo crossed his mind. He knew him all too well, and in his dying memories he recalled a night of drunken stupor, stated that if he should fail in loving Anna, that he'd be honored if Leo took his place. He'd marked his own fate.

"I'm..sor…" And the rest was no more.

There was a thick heavy silence in the air, followed by Harley stepping out from behind the shadows. Though still a vigilante, she could pick up on the previous body language of the bulky security guard that now lay dead before them.

"Red..ya didn't hafta.."

"You wanted to get in, didn't you?"

"Yeah but ya didn't have to kill him! Couldn't ya just knock him out?"

"No. Now come on."

"But Red-..!"

"Harley LISTEN to me. Men like him are dogs, all dogs. I recognized him from somewhere..it's because of him why Dr. Robinson is the way she is now. Harleen..I'm not going to let what happened to that woman, the grief she went through, happen to you as well. That's why we're here to party. To get our minds off these..these…chauvinistic pigs. Off Joker, off Batman, off Gordon-off all of them, GOT IT?"

"…Got it."

"Good. Now stash the damn bag and come on."

-==Presently back at Arkham.==-

"….."

"What's tha matter doc? Cat got yer tongue?"

The doctor looked down at her notes and though she had lots to jot down, her writing hand seemed to have ceased to be. It was raining outside indeed, yet there were droplets of water forming on her notes.

"Doc..?"

"Continue Harleen."

"You…you alright there doc?"

Clutching the black and yellow journal that stated her name, she cleared her throat lightly and crossed her legs like that of a young lady of class, before adjusting her Louis Vuitton glasses. The lighting flashed accompanied by thunder, yet this time it was her lone tear that lit up in the darkness.

"Continue Harleen." She repeated with emphasize. The good doctor was always one of the few who treated her with any respect, hence why every time Harley had no problem opening up to her. However this time..this time felt different. She struck a nerve somehow whilst telling her story and as a cold hearted she can be at times, there was in a sense some sort of sympathy for the woman who sat before her clad in her full white lab coat.

Harley as clumsy and clunky as she was never lost her keenly observant nature. Deciding not to question the woman who'd soon write her a clean bill of health, she continued her story in her own typical fashion in hopes of cheering the doctor up.

"So…we walk inside, right? I still had my bag with me cause I didn't wanna leave ol' Eddy behind on the floor. Walked inside..and it was as LOUD as ever. Inside was nice man..I mean flashing lights, the chandeliers—it's like we stepped into like..a palace or somethin'!"

"…A palace?"

"Yeah! It was bumpin' and booty shaking and whoo hoo wahoo craziness inside doc! You know how you people get down, man!"

"…'You people'..?"

"Yeah you know..! ..The…the.."

"..The what..?"

"….b…bla…ack…..ssssss…ss..."

"…"

"….."

"You'd better keep rolling."

"You're right I shouldn't tah said that.."

-==Harley's Recollection: Author's P.O.V==-

Inside was immaculate—just as Harley had imagined, sans the golden palace she originally had in mind. The ambiance of the area was loud, thumping with bass boosters that surrounded the walls, adorned with laser lights and fog smoke generators that were expertly hidden underneath the floor boards of the room. The lighting was a deep shade of red, with corners of the room deliberately darkened to give it a more gothic feel. Drapes of black, white, green and red satin sheets crisscrossed one another on the ceilings of the immaculate place, setting the stage for its main centerpiece and highlight of the night—the two thousand piece diamond chandelier that hovered in the middle. The V.I.P lounge upstairs was just as decorated as the lower level, except with the obvious more securities and the abundance of celebrities that paraded themselves in drunk splendor, racking up cash in either expensive glasses of champagne and Hor'Derves, or those who fancied a different kind of entertainment were simply whisked away by their escorts and exotic looking stress reliefs of the night.

Kanye West blasted over the speakers and no sooner did it blare, the temporary citizens of the Black Lounge gave a holler before getting down on the dance floor. Ivy gave a flash of her hair to the right and stretched her body in anticipation, before setting her sights about on a possible male she could dance with and…possibly have her way with later on.

"Mmm..yes..now this is what I'm talking about." She exclaimed in hush tones, gently taking a hold of Harley's hand before leading her to the dance floor. Blinking moronically she followed the way, scoffing in disgust as the men around her began to smile perversely, one already rubbing his hands together wondering what he'd have to do to be with her tonight. Indeed and admittedly so Harley was looking quite different than her usual get up for her dress seemed to be tight fitted to conform to the outlines of her body. The sides of her Versace dress was very detailed down to its sides, which consisted of a corset crosshair design with black leather strings draping down the sides of her thigh at the end. Her blonde hair, no longer in pigtails was cascading down the middle of her back, with an 's' curl at its tips. Her eyes were icy blue like Bahamian waters, with the walk of a Greek goddess to match. Without her mouth flapping every five minutes and if no one actually knew—or paid close attention as to whom she actually was, she would've most definitely gotten away with being deemed the 'most mysterious' there.

Ivy herself was already dancing the night away, wasting no time in locking eyes with a particularly handsome young man not too far from where she was. He was sleek..immaculate..sexy—doned in a long striped sleeve white shirt with the word 'R.e.b.e.l.l.i.o.u.s.' embellished on the side of his right sleeve in black and grey. His True Religion Jeans were boot cut fitted, with K-Swiss Luxury Classic 'kicks' to top off his footwear for the evening. The black fedora hat he wore with a faded image of a skull on its left side makeshift for the 'cherry on top', and Ivy knew that before this night was over, she was going to be his main dessert..even if it would kill him in the end. He glanced her with lust in his exotic hazel almond shaped eyes, his smile as white and as wicked as the woman he currently took an immediate interest in.

Ivy smiled. Harley frowned.

"Come on Red..another one? This one looks decent this time, can't cha cut the guy a break?"

"Huh? What was that? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THIS NOISE! BYE HARLEY!"

And off she went.

-==Previously back in Arkham===-

"See now that's why I don't go to clubs with my girlfriends; they always end up ditching you in the end."

"Not true, she came through fer me…eventually. Didn't know what happened to him after we had to leave early—"

"Early? Why what happened next?"

"Yah, oh trust me doc this is FAAAR from over! So me and Red right? We're dancing, we're carrying on, she's grinding on some hot buff guy, some fat sweaty guy's tryin' tah grind on me, I hit him in tha' nuts, he walks off yadda ya the usual. Then..outta no where, I get tha' shock of my life. That's when I saw….."

Dr. Robinson looked as though she was on the edge of her seat, waiting for the cliffhanger to just end. Cue the dramatic music if there was to be one at the time, for Harley Quinn was looking shifty eyed from right to left in animated fashion before leaning closer to the Caribbean born female in front of her, lowering her voice extremely deeply for dramatic effect.

"HIM."

"That's not funny."

"I'm dyin' inside, come on! Anyway..I'm dancin', and the D.J gives a shout out.."

-==Harley's Recollection==-

T-Pain's 'Bartender' blared over the loud speaker system, yet after dancing to about eight songs, Harley was getting beat. Her eyes roamed over to where the D.J. booth was, determined to ask him to change it to something more slowed down for her tastes. As she began to take a step forward, she noticed that a woman whom seemed oddly familiar to her went up to the D.J and whispered something in his ear. Something about that other red headed woman should've been her first clue but the ever clueless Harley Quinn couldn't pick up on what that was exactly till the D.J. screamed out..

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN Y'ALL HAVIN' A GOOD TIME UP IN HERE TONIGHT?"

"YEEEEEEEAH!"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT BABY! LADIES, FREE DRINKS FOR Y'ALL TONIGHT, Y'ALL LOOKIN' OH SO RIGHT MM MM! BRUCE WAYNE IN THE HOUSE FEEL FREE TO SHAKE YOUR ASSES FOR THE MAN IN ACTION!"

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

"SPECIAL REQUEST FROM HIS LOVELY LADY FRIEND TONIGHT! BEYONCE UP IN HERE, LADIES SHAKE YOUR ASSES AND RAISE YOUR GLASSES!"

Bruce Wayne..?

Her eyes casted themselves to the main V.I.P area upstairs..and there he was.

He didn't blend in with the crowd at all, in fact his very aura stood out more than anyone else up there, greatly overwhelming the people around him. The bass around him seem to resonate around him but it didn't seem to faze him one bit. A glass of scotch in one hand, his other firmly placed on the metal railing in front of him. With a sip of his scotch, his eyes casually shifted from his far right where the D.J. was, to DIRECTLY in Harley's eyes.

Wha..? WHA?

Looking around quizzically, the female oddity looked about idiotically before pointing an index towards her own chest, indicating if he was indeed looking at her. He confirmed nothing—only raised his scotch glass to his lips and took yet another sip. As much as they've had unfortunate escapades involving kidnapping, theft, grand theft and an almost accidental homicide…Harley couldn't help but let her mind travel just a bit for she had to give credit where credit was due—He looked DAMN good.

His neck tie was draped around his neck casually, previously loosened up by one of his lady friends that tried too hard to get his attention. His attire was consistent of business, but his persona and vibe that he gave off that night was that 'devil may care' attitude that drew Harley's eyes directly to the V.I.P area in the first place. His slacks a neatly pressed black and white pin striped with a touch of nineteen thirties style to them which included suspenders. His head was held high, and with an evident smirk, slight shoulder turn and his elbow now on that lucky metal railing, he took a last and final sip of his scotch before slowly walking off in the direction of the stairs below. The way he walked was immaculate. Statuesque. Stalking. Disciplined. Sturdy. The way his eyes focused on hers contrasted greatly what little she knew of his personality—dark, mysterious, cold..almost like that of the Dark Knight himself. Not once did he take his eyes off hers as she walked, and not once did Harley when she tried to follow him. Only difference in THAT was she had to push and shove her way through the highly crowded area, repeatedly saying 'excuse me's and 'sorry mistah's to those she were stepping toes with. Bruce Wayne himself seemed to glide his way across his densely crowded area—for people just moved out of the way as he came closer and closer to the stairs, some patting him on the back whilst others mainly the exotic models that followed behind him like disciples to Jesus, in actual contradict threw themselves at him like desperate lonely whores. Still, despite all the activities that were going on around him, the most she saw that indicated that it was indeed her he had his eyes on was a confirmed smirk—before disappearing into the shadows of the dimly lit area.

"Wait..no.." Murmured the curious woman. She figured if she can get close enough to him, she can get him to help her gain access to her beloved without having to actually see him. Bruce Wayne had connections indeed—maybe just maybe..with any hope, she can force him into solving her little bat problem.

Her eyes searched the stairs he came down with much anticipation, but all she could see were flashing camera lights and a panty thrown about here and there. No sign of the playboy..no sign of hope for her to get close enough to her mistah J.

"Just your luck Harls.." and with a disappointed sigh, she turned her back with her first idea to hit the bar for cheap drink or two.

Just my luck.

Kanye West's 'It's Amazing' began to blare over the speaker system.

"THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE WITH THE STRUGGLE RIGHT NOW!"

It's amazing..

I'm the reason..

Everybody fired up this evenin'.

"HARLEY!"

Hearing her name she turned around and blinked moronically as her friend pushed and shoved her way through the crowd. Her hair was disheveled, and her eyes were in that all too familiar 'We have to run.' expression.

"WE GOTTA GO."

I'm exhausted..

Barely breathing..

Holding to what I believe in.

"BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE LONG! CAN'T WE JUST—"

"NO, WE HAVE TO GO NOW HARLS! SECURITY FOUND US OUT WE GOTTA MAKE A RUN FOR IT!"

"THERE SHE IS BOYS! LET THE COPS KNOW WE GOT 'EM!"

"DAMN! COME ON!"

No matter what they'll take that from me.

My reign is as far as your eyes can see.

It's Amazin'.

-=Previously back in Arkham.=-

"Then what happened?"

"What happened? We ran!..Well tried tah anyway. We were shoving through people like it ain't nothin' just like back in the good ol' days with me and Mistah J. Except this time I was runnin' with a chick who didn't take B.S. from no man—even if she did step on his toes."

"Huh?"

"Yer confused. You've treated Red before right? Well you know better than anyone that she's on this women's liberation rights thing.."

-=Harley's Recollection=-

The people around Ivy and Harley didn't seem to mind the commotion at all—in fact the D.J turned up the volume as means of encourage for the rest to continue dancing. On with the show right?

All seemed to be pointing in the right direction—despite the many toes and Nike shoes that were being pounded on by the vigilantes' feet. They were getting further and further away from the security guards that were trying to chase them inside the 'sardine packed' club and with much success was getting closer and closer to the nearest exit. Clutching her medium sized Ed Hardy bag that she immediately thanked in her mind that she dragged along with her, Harley's usual happy go lucky 'I'm runnin' away from tha' cops' squeal turned into a look of sheer joy when she soon realized they were approaching the nearest emergency exit.

"IVY LOOK UP AHEAD! WE GO—huh?"

In her tracks she stopped and turned around—only to see her comrade in a confrontation with a rather well built Caucasian man. His tight grasp on Ivy's arm accompanied with an angry glare burning into the eyes and soul of the beautiful redhead before him prompted Harley to immediately be on the move.

"HEY! YOU LET GO OF HER YOU BIG LUG!"

"YOU STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS YOU LITTLE BITCH! I've been watching you..BOTH of you. I know who you two are..and the police have been looking all over for your asses all week. I'm gonna get that reward..but not before I cop a feel."

" You'd be wise to let go of me." Ivy started lowly before lowering her head to the ground. Her left hand gestured down to her right leg slowly but her assailant caught on quickly and without hesitation, grabbed her other hand and raised her up to meet his stare.

"Don't do anything funny you little ginger bitch. 'EY FELLAS THEY'RE HERE! THEY—"

A swift forward roundhouse kick by Harley was the trick to at least made his focus go out of balance, which in turn dropped Ivy back on her own two feet.

"Come on Red, we can't go back to Arkham!"

"POISON IVY'S BEEN CAUGHT! COME ON BOYS THIS IS OUR CHANCE, IF YOU CAN'T GET TWO GET ONE!"

"Harley…" Poison Ivy had this look in her eyes when she was reaching her boiling point. In a packed club dominated by men, with men chasing her to throw her back into Arkham for another how many years before she can bust out again..yet the icing on the cake was most certainly the man who was now staggering to get back on his own two feet after that suffering blow to the face. His features now were smudged with the dirt from Harley's black stilettos with a follow up black and blue bruise to his left eye. "You fucking…...fucking little bitch.."

"Harley. Go."

"BUT RED..!"

"I'll meet you back at the apartment! GO NOW HARLEY! I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOU THIS IMMUNITY AS YET! GO!"

"But-"

"GO!"

The men they approached closer, with the crowds now fully moving out of the way to make space for them to close in on her. The large Caucasian man grinned as he yet again grabbed Ivy's arm, and all Harley could see was the rise of what seems to be a green pollinating substance that had everyone coughing excessively. She quickly realized as she passed one lady that started foaming at the mouth that she needed to get out of there as swiftly as possible. Donning a small black handkerchief she had hidden within the confounds of her bosom, she placed it over her nose and mouth and continued sprinting, watching around her as everyone she passed by began to shake and convulse violently before falling to the ground foaming at their mouths, much like the security guard Ivy had poisoned earlier. Behind the bartender that was about to fall face first on the bar itself was the emergency exit, which Harley hoped to God lead outside and towards freedom. She couldn't risk going back to Arkham..and damn sure couldn't risk being dragged off to Blackgate by the Bat himself. One thing was for sure though..

She hoped Ivy made it out without being caught..

..and hoped Bruce Wayne made it out alive.

(REVIEW PLEASE THANK YOU. Construction criticism always welcomed…just don't be rude =D)