It started when Draco and Harry were beginning to squabble again. Hermione regarded this with a furrowed brow, and, deciding that she, as Headgirl, would have to do something about the situation. She aimed her wand at both boys and whispered the first spell that came to mind—one that would certainly humiliate them both.

Both boys stopped, their cheeks puffing out comically. They were back-to-back; Draco looked around in bewilderment, and then finally uttered—

"Now, this is the story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a house called Slytherin"

"Granger!" snarled Malfoy, "What did you do!"

A crowd was forming around them now, jeering and laughing.

Harry turned around, his arm around Malfoy's shoulder as he belted out the next verse.

"In southwest England born and raised
On the Quidditch pitch was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some dungballs outside of school
When a couple of Death Eaters
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little duel and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your uncle at Hogwarts!'"

"Hermione!" wailed Harry, as Draco took his turn, the Slytherin moving against him as he rapped, "Make it stop!"

"You two need to stop fighting and get along. Everyone knows duets cause love and adoration," answered Hermione.

"I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my trunk and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my cloak on and said, 'I might as well kick it'."

"Stop it, Granger or I swear I'll—" The blonde's threat was interrupted with his next segment.

"Third class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of the carton.
Is this what the people of Hogwarts living like?
Hmmmmm this will not be alright."

"Please!" yelled out Harry, who was now pinned to Draco by the hip, the blonde's hand circling his chest, thrumming his fingers against Harry as if he were a guitar and continued.

"But wait, I hear the house elves, squibs, Gryffindors, all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this pale pureblood?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Slytherin--"

Hermione simply looked on in amusement, ignoring Ron's look of horror and the Hufflepuff's screaming (they were closeted Harry/Draco fans) as Harry continued faithfully.

"Well uh, the train arrived and when I came out
There was a giant who looked like homeless trash standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get dirty yet.
I just got here!
I sprang with the quickness, like lightning disappeared--"

The two boys continued the final parts of their song in a giant hug, screaming out the lyrics as fast as they could.

"I whistled for a carriage and when it came near
The thestrals squealed, and ate a first year!
If anything I can say is that this carriage was rare
But I thought, 'Man forget it, I'll apparate!"

"Finally!" yelled Draco.

"I pulled up to Hogwarts about seven or eight
And I yelled to the half bloods 'I'm better than you!'
I looked to my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Slytherin!"

"I still rapped better than you!" stated Draco, with a smug smile.

"You did not, you git!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. Perhaps there was no hope for them after all.

ooooo

This was my sad attempt at humor.

Ah, well.