Twenty-Nine

Sirius lay sprawled across the bed in the Room of Requirement, while Severus sat hunched over the desk across the room, writing his monthly letter to Voldemort. Severus hadn't said so, of course—he'd claimed it was an Ancient Runes essay. But Sirius wasn't an idiot; Severus was behaving shiftily and there weren't nearly enough books on the table for him to be writing one of his essays.

"I think I'll go down to dinner," Sirius announced.

Severus only grunted in response, so Sirius doubted he'd actually listened.

"And I'll stay in Gryffindor tower tonight. Might make a bit of a difference to James."

"Whatever you need to do," Severus said absentmindedly.

Sirius heaved himself off the bed with a laboured sigh and walked out of the room without another word. He didn't exactly slam the door, but he certainly closed it more sharply than necessary. He knew he was behaving like a child, but he couldn't help it. He told himself every time he saw Severus that he wasn't going to behave like a stroppy toddler and then something in him snapped.

They'd been seeing less and less of each other the further they got into term. Severus didn't seem to notice, but Sirius felt the growing distance between them more keenly than he cared to admit. He wasn't used to feeling this vulnerable and it was making him do stupid things. The other morning at breakfast he had practically reduced Peter to tears (not that it was particularly difficult to do, but Sirius generally tried to avoid making his friends cry). He tried to pick fights with Severus, but the other boy just wouldn't rise to the bait, which was more frustrating than the fact that they hadn't had sex (and barely even fooled around) in weeks.

Sirius entered the Great Hall just as dinner began and took his place at the Gryffindor table beside Remus. James, who was sitting opposite him, promptly turned and began a conversation with Lily. Remus shot Sirius a sympathetic look and shrugged.

Things with James had been awkward for weeks now, since Sirius told him about Severus. It wasn't as if he hadn't been expecting it, but it was beginning to grate on his nerves. His best mate was full of snide comments about Severus and Sirius wanted to shoot a few back about Lily, but he was rather attached to his teeth and didn't want James to knock them out. James probably deserved a good left hook, but Sirius didn't want to be the one to give it to him. Their friendship was already stretched thin and despite how frustrated he was with the other boy, he didn't want to destroy it beyond repair.

"Come up for air, I see, Sirius," Lily grinned, while James' expression soured. "No sign of your boyfriend though."

Sirius shrugged, "He's getting some work done."

James seemed to decide this was a sign of trouble between Sirius and Severus and perked up immediately. "Hogsmeade tomorrow, Padfoot. You in?"

Sirius considered. He could either lounge in the Room of Requirement, practically begging for scraps of Severus' attention, or he could spend the whole day in Hogsmeade listening to James verbally abuse his boyfriend. He wasn't sure which of those was the lesser evil.

"Why not?" He shrugged. Maybe spending the day with James would make things better.

"Did you hear about Harmony Greengrass?" James' voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper.

"No. What about her?" Sirius frowned.

"She went to Dumbledore yesterday saying that creep Evan Rosier raped her and now she's pregnant."

Lily whirled around from the conversation she was having with Alice Pierce, a blonde, round-faced girl who was absolutely in love with Frank Longbottom. (Frank was too oblivious to realise Alice was interested in him.)

"James," Lily hissed, her eyes flashing angrily, "You can't tell people that. Dumbledore told you in confidence."

James shrugged, "She's knocked up. It's going to become pretty obvious, don't you think? Besides, I doubt it was rape anyway. Harmony will open her legs for anyone. Just ask Sirius."

The slap that Lily delivered to James' cheek snapped his head back on his neck and was loud enough to draw the attention of the entire Gryffindor table. James stared at Lily in surprise, his hand coming up to touch his face.

"Lily, c'mon, I didn't mean it." James said, but Lily was already on her feet and striding angrily out of the hall.

James shrugged as if to say, women, and returned his attention to the pudding. It took all of Sirius' energy not to reach across the table and smack James upside the head for being such an idiot. Somehow, though, he didn't think that was the best course of action if he was trying to salvage his crumbling relationship with his best friend.

The remainder of dinner was quiet, and although Peter made a few attempts at conversation, he was unsuccessful. The Marauders went their separate ways after dinner, James headed off after Lily to attempt to apologise, Remus disappeared into the library to work on an essay that probably wasn't due for at least a week, and Peter had detention. It was only once he had collapsed in his bed in Gryffindor tower that Sirius realised how long it had been since he'd actually slept in it. It was strange, trying to sleep without Severus curled next to him. He tossed and turned for most of the night, waking frequently. Every time he woke, his arms were reaching for Severus, only to come up empty.

The Room of Requirement was too quiet. Severus lay awake, wondering if he should go back to his bed in the Slytherin dormitory. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept there, though, and it wasn't as if his housemates ever welcomed him with open arms. He felt safer here, although without Sirius things just seemed worse. He had never intended to grow this attached to the Gryffindor boy and he was afraid of what it might do to him. Severus had spent his entire life knowing that self-sufficiency was the best method for survival. When you had only yourself to rely on, things were much less complicated and adding Sirius to the mix had complicated things far more than Severus had anticipated. Perhaps it had been naïve of him to think that they could both come through this relationship unscathed, because it almost didn't matter anymore what happened. They were both going to get hurt, regardless of the circumstances.

Severus flung one of the extra pillows across the room in frustration. He knew he was being petulant and stubborn to push Sirius away because he was afraid now, but Sirius was supposed to be able to see through all of that and just cling to him tighter so that Severus realised Voldemort wasn't going to separate them.

Except he couldn't expect Sirius to read his mind. And Voldemort was going to separate them.

Conversation between James and Sirius on the walk down to Hogsmeade was stilted. At the last minute, Remus and Peter had "changed their minds", which Sirius figured meant either they didn't want to be around their two friends who could barely be civil to one another at the moment, or Remus had convinced Peter that Sirius and James needed an afternoon alone to patch things up. Knowing Remus, it was probably the latter, but Sirius had his doubts that there was anything he could say to James today that was going to change anything.

"Did you and Evans work things out last night?" Sirius asked.

James shrugged, "Dunno, really. We argue a lot, so I can't ever tell if we're just bickering because it's what we do or if it's because she's actually mad at me. Girls are just sort of crazy, aren't they?"

"It's not like I ever tried to have a relationship with one." Sirius shook his head. "But I can tell you it's not any easier, dating a boy."

"Trouble in paradise?" James asked, and Sirius was surprised that he managed to ask without a hint of sarcasm.

Sirius shrugged, "Always."

"What does that mean?" James frowned. They walked through town and towards the Shrieking Shack.

"Sev and I have been pretty much doomed from the start," Sirius laughed hollowly. "And we're both starting to realise we're staring the end in the face and I don't think either of us is taking it well."

"I don't understand." James frowned. "If you love him, why do you think it's going to end?"

"Voldemort."

"Can't he...I dunno, give up on the dark side?"

"Too late." Sirius said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Voldie's had him for a year now. It's not…official yet, but there's no way he's getting out of it."

James frowned, "If you know that it's going nowhere and you're both sort of making each other miserable right now, then what's the point?"

"There isn't one. But I gave up caring about that a long time ago."

They stood, staring at the Shrieking Shack for a long time.

"You could have told me," James said quietly. "He and I have never gotten along, but if you'd said something…I would have backed off."

"I wanted to tell you." Sirius said. "But I kept chickening out."

Something dawned on James then. "Those times when you left this summer…you were going to see him."

"Yeah."

"So does my mum know, then?"

"Yeah. She wheedled it out of me. She's really good at that."

"I know."

"He had a really shit summer. Your mum even offered to take him in."

"That would have been…interesting." James said, a smirk on his face.

"You would have killed each other within two weeks." Sirius grinned. "And don't bother trying to deny it."

James grinned, "Enough touchy-feely crap. We should hit Zonko's."

James hunched over the map, his eyes seeking out Snape's name. Although it was after curfew, James found the dot labelled Severus Snape in the library. Grateful that the Head Boy and Girl's rooms were just opposite the library, James jumped to his feet and hurried out the door.

He found Severus sitting on one of the shelves in front of the windows, looking out at the lake.

"Snape," he said cautiously.

Severus whirled around to face him, his hand already going for his wand.

"I'm not going to hex you." James said. "You can put that away."

"What do you want, Potter?"

"I thought maybe we could talk."

"Talk?" Severus repeated, arching an eyebrow. "What do we have to talk about?"

"Sirius." James said, looking at Severus as if trying to figure out if he was being deliberately thick or not.

"What about him?"

"The two of you are being sort of stupid. He says you're in love and that you're going to have to break up eventually because of Voldemort."

Severus crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for James to continue. James took it as a good sign that the Slytherin hadn't tried to hex him yet.

"I guess if I were in your shoes…I would want to spend as much time together as possible. Make the most of it, you know? Except it seems like you two are doing the opposite, because Sirius is miserable and you don't look much better."

"Why should I take advice from you?" Severus scowled.

"Look, you and I are never going to be mates. We just don't get along. But Sirius is practically my brother and he's your boyfriend, so he's really the only thing we have in common. And I'd rather him be happy than miserable, okay?" James' expression hardened, and he stuck his hand out reluctantly. "Truce?"

Severus shook the Gryffindor's hand. "Truce."

"You're here," Severus said unable to keep the surprise out of his voice when he found Sirius sprawled across the bed in the Room of Requirement.

"Couldn't sleep."

Severus toed out of his shoes and joined Sirius in bed. "I just talked to Potter."

Sirius twisted to look at Severus, his expression confused. "What do you mean?"

"He tracked me down in the library and asked if we could call a truce."

"Why?"

"Because in typical Potter fashion, he thinks he's our only problem."

Sirius shrugged. "A truce is a truce, I guess."

"We should break up." Severus said.

Sirius' eyes widened in a combination of shock and fear. "No."

"It makes sense, Sirius. I've been thinking about it for days now. There's this huge distance between us and I know it's only going to get bigger."

"No." Sirius shifted quickly from surprise to anger. "I'm not letting you do this. Not because you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid." Severus said, too quickly.

"You are. And it's not a reason to break up, because I'm fucking terrified too, but being apart isn't going to make that better. There's only one good reason to break up and that's if you don't love me anymore." Sirius said it like a challenge.

Never one to back down, Severus tried to force the lie out. He tried to tell Sirius that he didn't love him and he wanted to break up, but he couldn't get it past the lump in his throat.

"Thought so." Sirius said, slipping his arms around Severus' waist and pulling him closer. "I know that I'm being stupid, okay? I know that we're going to break up eventually and it's going to hurt less now than a year from now, but I can't do it. It's obvious that James thinks I'm insane for holding on this long, when you and I disagree on something so important, but my life is shit without you in it, so I'm going to keep holding on for as long as I possibly can. Understood?"

Severus didn't answer. Instead, he pressed his lips against Sirius', kissing his boyfriend desperately. It wasn't a nice kiss—all teeth and too much tongue, but Sirius didn't care. He rolled, pinning Severus to the bed and mouthing his way along Severus' jaw. He bit the sensitive skin on Severus' neck, his hands working on the buttons of Severus' shirt. He gave up halfway through and just yanked the shirt open, dragging his hands down the sides of Severus' torso. Severus pulled at Sirius' t-shirt, and Sirius sat up to drag it off over his head.

Sirius left a trail of open-mouthed kisses along Severus' scar, making the other boy shiver. Severus' hands tugged uselessly at the waistband of Sirius' trousers before grabbing his wand from the nightstand and muttering a disrobing charm. Sirius groaned at so much skin contact at once and rolled his hips, brushing their cocks together and making them both shudder.

"Want you," Severus said, his hand gripping Sirius' hipbone. "Now."

Sirius wasted no time. He whispered the necessary spells and thrust into Severus in a smooth movement. Severus wrapped his legs around Sirius' waist, but the other boy wasn't cooperating.

"Move," Severus intended to snap, but it came out in a breathy whisper.

Sirius grinned and captured Severus' lips again, their tongues tangling, and then he finally started to move, setting a pace that was just slow enough to drive Severus insane.

"Sirius," Severus whined. "Please."

Something about Severus' pleading broke something in Sirius and he began to fuck Severus in earnest, every one of his thrusts angled perfectly, making Severus see stars. He wrapped his hand around Severus' cock, and it only took a few strokes before Severus was coming, groaning Sirius' name. Sirius finished moments later and he collapsed on top of Severus, burying his face in the crook of Severus' neck.

One Severus' hands stroked the length of Sirius' spine lazily while the other tangled into his hair. "Love you," he said quietly.

"Love you too," Sirius murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of Severus' neck. "No more break up talk."

"Okay." Severus agreed.

Sirius shifted so he was more comfortably snuggled against Severus' side and reached to pull the covers up over them. "Sweet dreams, Sev."

"Night, Sirius."

That night, both of them slept soundly for the first time in weeks.

A/N: Ack, the wait between chapters was much longer than I intended. School has been kicking my butt this semester and I keep getting distracted from this fic by another fandom entirely (ahem, Glee…raise your hands if you're obsessed too) but Part 1 of Deathly Hallows got me back on track. ;-D

Reviews are love. Can't wait to hear what you all think.