Warnings/Notes: Thanks for the emergency Beta, dogsunderfoot! Written very quickly for the mini_fest so it is probably utter rubbish! Prompt: #29 - a reluctant kiss under the mistletoe.

Disclaimer: The characters and universe in this work of fan fiction belong to JK Rowling and affiliates. No money is being made and no offense is intended. Characters are over the age of consent for sexual situations.

Best Laid Plans

'Whoo hoo!'

Sirius groaned when he saw a flash of red hair and then peered past the whooping Gryffindors at James Potter. Yep, his best friend was as furious as Sirius knew he would be, but this was not Sirius' fault. It wasn't meant to be Lily Evans, or Lily-cockblock-Evans as she would be forever referred to from that day forth, stuck under the magical mistletoe with him. The silly bint had suddenly rushed into the room ahead of Remus – the real target of Sirius' last-second plotting – and now the only way for them to free themselves from the hold of the mistletoe's spell was to...

'Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!'

The repetitive cry was accompanied by loud, enthusiastic clapping and wet, sloppy kissing noises from the crowd around them. Sirius glanced at Lily, whose cheeks were almost as red as her hair, and saw that his classmate seemed just as perturbed by their situation as he was.

Lily saw him looking at her and her green eyes spat fire. 'It wasn't supposed to be you,' she hissed, looking at his hair as if she would like to see it all fall out. 'What is wrong with your hair?'

Sirius' hand shot up to his black locks and he tried to smooth the unusually unruly strands. 'Potions accident,' he snarled back, letting her know her displeasure with the situation was mutual. 'Who the hell did you think I wa...?' His voice trailed off as a lightbulb finally lit up and a triumphant smile broke across his face. 'You thought I was... mmph!'

His words were cut off as Lily's lips – ugh, her sticky, strawberry-flavoured lips – crushed against his own. His eyes opened wide when he felt her mouth moving, her tongue sliding along the seam of his lips, and he gasped in surprise. Lily took advantage of his parted lips and Sirius felt her tongue stroke over his before he managed to gather his wits and break the kiss.

'Bloody hell, Evans,' he spat, glaring daggers at her as he wiped his mouth clean of a combination of flavoured lip gloss and spit.

He was so busy trying to rid himself of every trace of the blasted redhead that he missed seeing James approach, and he didn't see the flying fist before it made brutal contact with his jaw. He did, however, manage to catch sight of Lily's smug expression as she flounced away, James following her like a lovesick puppy.

'Are you okay?'

A familiar soft voice reached his ears above the laughing and hollering of his housemates and Sirius looked up. Remus was holding out a hand to help Sirius up and was, very thoughtfully, doing a decent job of hiding his amusement. Sirius smiled then winced as his jaw throbbed with pain.

'Come on,' Remus said, and Sirius grasped his hand, allowing the other boy to pull him to his feet.

Remus narrowed his eyes as his gaze lingered on Sirius' jaw then he reached out to touch the already-bruising skin. 'James has a great right hook,' he murmured quietly then both he and Sirius looked over to the couch where James was perched, gazing worshipfully at Lily, who had a triumphant little smirk playing about her lips.

'It was supposed to be me under the mistletoe with her,' Remus confided as he led Sirius away. 'Then she saw the black hair...' He gestured to Sirius' standing-on-end hair with a raised eyebrow. '...and thought you were James.' He cocked his head as they reached the staircase to the dorms and frowned at Sirius' errant black locks. 'What exactly is wrong with your hair?'

'Potions accident,' Sirius mumbled, stomping up the stairs in high dudgeon. 'And why were you agreeing to go along with this bloody scheme of hers? Don't tell me you've got the hots for that know-it-all too? Isn't it bad enough she leads Prongs around by his antlers without having you by your tail as well?'

He shoved open their dorm room door and stalked across the room, throwing himself down onto his bed with a great huff of indignation. Remus stopped in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his hands in his trouser pockets and an expression of bemusement on his face.

'No, I don't have 'the hots' for Lily,' he said calmly, a note of admonishment in his voice as he put heavy emphasis on Lily's name. 'I agreed to help her make James jealous because I was hoping that our fake kiss would make the person I do have the hots for a little jealous as well.'

Panic and fear made Sirius' insides burn and he shot up, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring accusingly at Remus. 'You... you like someone?' he asked, his chest squeezing painfully tight, restricting his breathing. 'I... why... who?'

Godric, he couldn't breathe!

Remus' shoulders hunched around his ears as he slunk towards Sirius, eyes on the ground. He stopped in front of Sirius, biting his lip and staring down at his shuffling feet as he mumbled something incomprehensible.

'What?' Sirius said, fury seeping into his voice as he rose to his feet, clenching his fists as he waited for a target for his anger.

I am going to wring their scrawny fucking neck.

'You!' Remus snapped, voice rising as his head shot up. His jaw thrust forward defiantly and he glared at Sirius. 'You, alright! It's you. It's always bloody been you, you oblivious git, and it will probably be you for the rest of my pitiful life. Okay?'

Sirius stared at him, his mouth hanging open, until the words finally registered in his brain. Then, with a desperate lunge, he launched himself across the space that separated them and crashed their mouths together. The impact knocked Remus off-balance, and they fell to the floor in a tangled knot of arms and legs.

Remus groaned in pain as Sirius pressed down heavily on his chest. 'Sirius...' he gasped out, shoving at Sirius. 'You're breaking my ribs.'

'Sorry,' Sirius mumbled, getting his arms out from under Remus and bracing them on the floor.

He lifted his chest off Remus', propping himself up over the other boy. They looked at each other, bodies still lightly touching, little exhales teasing and tickling suddenly sensitized skin. Sirius swallowed hard, searching Remus' eyes for any trace of a prank or a lie.

Finding none, he gathered his courage and asked softly, 'Me?' His voice cracked a little as he added, 'Really?'

'Yeah,' Remus whispered, a hopeful little smile curling the corners of his mouth. 'You.'

Sirius grinned as a wave of absolute joy washed over him. He pressed his lips to Remus' hard, pulling away with a smacking sound. 'That is bloody brilliant,' he said, a little breathlessly before he brought their mouths back together.

And there was no more conversation for a very long time.

fin.