Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R
Summary: Andi explains the woman's code of retail to a shocked Sam.
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Language
Challenge: None
Word Count (excluding heading): 707
Feedback: Yes, please!
Archive: WWOMB, -- Anybody else, ask, and I'll probably grant permission.
Disclaimer: Sam, Andi, Sock, Ben, and Reaper are & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. No one can own the Source of All Evil, but this particular representation of him is & TM his respective owners, also not the author, and is used without permission. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Sam stood, watching helplessly while caught underneath his manager's gaze, as Andi dealt with a customer whose every other word was a cuss. He cringed as he heard the customer telling her what he'd like to do to her and shook his head in a mixture of bewilderment and amazement as Andi stood still and took it all with a smile, never even once raising her voice.
When the customer was gone, a smug smile on his ugly face, Sam rushed over to Andi. "You shouldn't have took that bull," he told her.
She shrugged, her pleasant smile still perfectly in place. "I had to."
"We have the right to refuse service."
"Yeah, we do," Andi agreed, "but I'm not about to do that with the district manager walking around, Sam. I need this job. Besides," she added with a shrug, "I told him exactly what I wanted to."
Sam's jaw hung agape for a moment before he asked her incredulously, "How?"
"I was talking in code."
"Andi, that man cussed you up one side and down the other and then told you he'd have your -- "
Her eyes flashed. "Don't you dare repeat what he said!"
Sam shut his mouth, and Andi began to explain. "Every time I agreed with him, I was actually telling him how much of an idiot he was, and when he started in on how hot I am," she continued with a roll of her eyes, "and I told him that I'm happily married when we both know I'm still single, I was actually telling him that there'd never even be a day cold enough in Hell to make me want to so much as look twice at him. I'd cut his thing off before I'd let him lay one finger on me."
Sam grinned cautiously. This was a side of Andi he'd never seen before! She continued to talk, explaining to him what her nice words truly meant and, with each word, surprising him all the more. He wasn't sure where this side of her had come from, but he wished it would go back to wherever it had crawled out of!
"And then," she concluded with a big breath, "when I thanked him, instead of 'Thank you', I meant 'Fuck you'." The entire time she had been talking, Andi had kept her voice low enough that only Sam could hear her, and now she smiled brightly as the district manager walked by.
"That's our star cashier over there," Greg told the man proudly and waved at Andi. Andi returned his little wave and bumped Sam so that he waved, too, as the bosses walked by.
"I'd better get back to work," Sam said in a rush once they were gone. He continued to glance over his shoulder at her cheerful face several times as he walked away. He shook his head as he ducked out of sight and walked down an aisle. He could hear the Devil now: "See," he'd say with a huge, fake grin, "I told you all humans have a little wicked in them. Come on. Join us. It'll be fun! Your woman's already part of us!"
And there would be Andi again, talking as he'd never heard her talk, acting as though she was ready to grab the nearest knife and hack the penis off of the next guy who angered her, and, in general, scaring the tee total mess out of him!
Sock fell in to step beside him; where he had come from, Sam didn't even know. "I told you all women are evil, man," he whispered.
Ben joined him on his other side. "But you have to admit that guy really did have it coming."
Sam's eyes darted between the two of them. He would have thought they would have been saying the complete opposite, Ben telling him that all women were perhaps not "evil" but certainly crazy and Sock reminding him that the customer had been asking for exactly what Andi wanted to give him. He sighed inwardly and shook his head again. His days just kept getting weirder, and he didn't even want to think about his nights! He yelped as the Devil snatched him, taking him down another notch as he always did . . .
The End