Only When I Am Asleep …

Chapter One: …Can I Escape Reality

Dreams were always my escape from reality, no matter how much my life sucked, they made everything seem, better. Even if I were ever to die, I would wish it in my sleep, dreaming a sweet, sweet dream.

My mom was perfectly happy until my dad was in that terrible car accident. A drunk driver, too many of those stories these days, had run a red light and hit my dad's car around eight o'clock. He was coming back from an 'extra time' work day, trying to earn a little more. We always got by, but just by the tips of our fingernails. My dad was trying to help, and it all ended like a snap of a finger. I was devastated, I loved him. My dad was so fun and high-spirited, I always felt safe with him around. I couldn't imagine what my mother felt, having loved him more than I will understand at fourteen. The funeral wasn't easy, and I cried, almost too much.

After that it was just my mom and I, trying to survive, barely getting by. We would usually eat leftovers of whatever was around. It was a sad story, when people have billions of dollars and live so happily and others barely have anything. Everything was horrible, until my mom came home with some guy. Then it got worse. She said she was going to marry him, he had asked her. I had no idea about this, and I was shocked. My mother said it was perfectly fine and that it was love, but I never thought she would fall in love with someone that was so...so much different from my dad. He seemed like a rich guy, at least we wouldn't be so poor right? I didn't like him, something about him made me feel…uncomfortable. He would hug me and I would sheepishly hug back. I would always want to pull away, like I was being kidnapped by some random dirt bag. Nothing was ever the same after that.

I would escape this harsh, nightmarish reality in my dreams. I would always dream of something different every night, but this night was very…weird. The weirdest dream I ever had. I don't love anybody, no crushes, no "OMG that boy is cute" thoughts, nothing. But on this night, I had a dream of a cute boy and myself.

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"Come with me Sakura!" this boy called, he had raven hair and almost black eyes.

"Where are we going?"

"Just follow me! You'll see!" he chuckled in his deep voice as he ran.

"Wait up!" I ran to catch up, but I stopped quickly to see him face me. I blushed, my face very close to his.

"I've wanted to do this," he came in closer and kissed me…

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I awoke with my heart pounding like a bass drum, the beat I usually get from nightmares. What did this dream mean? I hadn't had the faintest idea.

"Sakura! I have some good news!" My mother called from down stairs. Great, how do I get myself out of bed?

"Listen to your mother Sakura! Something's very exciting has happened!" he called from down stairs. I didn't like him, I never did and never will.

I sighed. I would've gone straight down if I didn't catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A tank top and short-shorts, perfect for summer, which it was. I didn't want him to see me like this. A fourteen year old girl dressed like this in from of him? No, too disgusting. I quickly put on a light robe for the heat. I always loved summer, especially July. It was always so, nice. Swimming was my favorite activity, so I took a liking to summer.

"Finally Miss Sleepyhead! We have good news."

"What is it?" I said through a yawn. I thought for a moment, "No, she better not be…pregnant! His baby as my brother or sister? No!"

"We've found a nice high school for you," he said smiling.

I sighed a sigh of relief, "Oh,"

"You're gonna like it there sweetie! Academics are high, they have many sports, including swimming." My mom is trying so hard to make me excited. Ha! Trying to make a fourteen year old excited about school is like trying to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without any peanut butter! It's simply impossible.

"What do you think about uniforms? There weren't any needed until recently, but it's only because a girl got raped," he added. Really? Nothing that bad right? Only an innocent girl was raped! He makes me sick.

I rolled my eyes and headed toward the fridge, "Whatever,"

"You start there in September, and I'll take you on your first day,"

Wait, he, him, the guy that creeps the living shit out of me, will be alone with me in a car driving me to school? Not on my watch.

"Why do you have to take me? What about mom?" I groaned as I took out the milk. I tried to not put emphasis on the "you" but that was a failure.

"I'm starting work the same day honey, it won't be possible."

Great. Let's hope I don't get raped. Cross your fingers!

I sighed. Only July second and already I'm dreading going to high school. At least I'll have my dreams to keep me sane. While I try to figure out my last one…

"Oh honey?"

"Yes?" him and I said in unison. Oh fuck no! I cannot…forget it.

My mom giggled, "I'm going to the market. We need more milk."

I looked in the milk carton. Almost empty. I shrugged and poured it into a bowl of cereal.

"Okay, hurry back my sweetems!" Sweetems? Is he insane?

I sat at the table, as far away from him as possible, and ate my cereal. Once I was done I washed my dish and started up stairs.

He looked up from the morning paper, "Where are you going?"

I looked at him funny, "To my room, to change. Why'd you ask?" I looked at him funny.

"No reason," he gave me this creepy smile and continued to read.

I shuddered and went to my room and closed the door. What to wear today? Nothing special, but something that makes me feel comfortable around him, which was probably a heavy winter jacket and pants good for the snow. But it was summer, so I settled for a light, red T-shirt and jean shorts up to my knees. I grabbed a scrungie, so I could put my oddly-colored pink hair up for when I get hot. When I started changing, I thought I heard footsteps, but I figured he was off to take his daily shit in his bathroom. Once I was done I dropped my scrungie while trying to put it on. I bent down and saw shadows coming from underneath my door. They were still. I picked up the scrungie and put my hair up like I would normally to make sure he didn't see me spotting him. I turned away from the door to start panicking. Was he watching me? Did he watch me change? Has he done this before? I continued to dread the day I go to high school.