AN: A drabble that came to my mind after watching several horrible people audition for American Idol. There were some really sucky people on there. Lol. In this drabble Leah and Jacob are a married couple. He never imprinted on Nessie in this drabble, it would make things complicated to write.

I don't own Twilight or the characters.

" I really love Simon. Me and him are just a like. I would be a little harsher though. Like look at this guy right here, he can't hold a tune. That little fucker should be arrested for sounding that bad," I spat pointing at the TV. Jacob and I enjoyed watching American Idol when there was nothing else to look at. Jacob laughed out loud at the guy trying to sing 'Decode'. Paramore should sue him for messing up that song like that. When he got to the chorus I thought my ears would burst, I covered them trying to drown out the sound.

" Baby he is not that bad. Look he even has the red hair like the lead singer does," Jacob said holding his stomach and still laughing. I glared at him and punched his leg playfully. Jacob began to sing with him, which made it much worst.

"Jake you sound like a lady in labor, shut the fuck up," I said covering my ears again. Thankfully Randy stopped him before he could kill the song more. Jacob was still laughing and started to sing in my ear. " Never serenade me again, it won't get you any sex. But it will get you a night on the couch." I said looking at the next person walk into the Idol room.

" I could have sworn Spice Girl shoes were out of style," Jacob said.

" She probably wore them for Posh. She looks like shit… oh and sounds like it too. Where do these people come from? Who gives them the right to butcher songs like this," I looked over at Jacob who seemed mesmerized by the girl singing. She was dancing around singing 'Spice Up Your Life'.

"Jake why are you staring at her like she is doing good," I snapped my fingers in front of his face.

"Huh? Oh sorry baby," Jacob said turning red. I looked back up at the girl dancing, she looked like a string bean bouncing around. Then I noticed why Jacob was staring at her, her big boobs were bouncing as she danced.

"Oh I see what you are looking at now. Her big jugs are bouncing around," I hit Jacob across the arm.

"No I wasn't. She can um sing ya know." Jacob looked at me and tried to give me that seductive smile. " Can you dance for me like that?" he looked down at my chest.

"You are a dick Jake." I got up from the couch.

"Where are you going baby," he called out to me as I was walking up the stairs.

"Don't think about coming to bed with me tonight. The couch is your friend tonight honey," I said slamming the bedroom door shut. I could hear Jacob downstairs cussing. I smiled to myself.

If anyone else watched American Idol, you should know it was pretty comical. Tell me what you think about this drabble.

Much Love.