It's been a while since the last time I wrote a fanfic. My mind has been tangled up in a lot of different … things. Well, here's another ridiculous HTFxHAF fanfic. Enjoy! (Rated T for Violence, language and mild sexual harassment)
(It's late night in Happy Tree Town. All the animals slumber in their shelters, awaiting a brand new day… okay, not all the animals)
Maurice: Evil, I can't sleep.
Evil: Same here.
Maurice: (gets out of bed) I'm gonna get me some coffee.
Evil: Maurice, how many cups have you taken?
Maurice: Uh… a few.
Evil: No wonder you can't sleep. And I've already told you not to take coffee at night.
Maurice: I'm sorry, I forgot.
Evil: It's okay. Tomorrow, we try to get rid of your caffeine addiction, alright?
Maurice: … What's caffeine?
Evil: The reason you're addicted to coffee. Now come back to bed and try to get some sleep.
Maurice: Well, okay. (Climbs back into bed)
Two hours later…
Maurice: Evil, I still can't sleep.
Evil: Same here.
Maurice: What's the time?
Evil: Two in the morning.
Maurice: Why can't we sleep?
Evil: I don't know… maybe it's because we were unconscious for a week after my dad pulverised us.
Maurice: Oh, pops. I wonder how we can survive his attacks sometimes.
Evil: We have died more than survived, though.
Maurice: Yeah. Like that time he ripped me in two, crushed your head with a giant rock…
Evil: Kitten, not right now, okay?
Maurice: Okay. Good night.
Evil: Good night.
Half an hour later…
Maurice: (sits up) I can't fucking sleep!!
Evil: Same here.
Maurice: This really bites.
Evil: (Covers his head with the sheet) Wish there was some stupid spell that could make us sleep…
Maurice: … Spell?
Evil: Don't tell me you don't know what a spell is.
Maurice: Evil, it's brillanint!
Evil: Brilliant, Maurice.
Maurice: I'll be right back.
Evil: Where you going?
Maurice: I'm going to the sorcery room.
Evil: Sorcery? … Wait, I'll follow you there.
Maurice: Whatever.
(Maurice and Evil are later in a large room full of magic books)
Evil: Wow. This place is big. Has it really been here all this time?
Maurice: Yup. (Pulls out a really large blue book)
Evil: So… what you looking for?
Maurice: This book has grey magic spells in it. Maybe I can find something that will help us sleep.
Evil: Oh, gotcha.
Maurice: (flipping through the book) Hey, I think I found one!
Evil: That was fast.
Maurice: It says here, "The spirit of slumber gives the restless dreams of peace, joy and all things gay…" Gay? That's disgusting!
Evil: Maurice, gay also means happy.
Maurice: It does? That's odd.
Evil: "… But the arrogant and dissipated shall suffer dreams of woe, anguish and sorrow, for their wickedness they shall pay." (Sweatdrops)
Maurice: Hmm… yeah, let's use this spell.
Evil: Um, I don't think that's such a good idea…
Maurice: Gobbledygook. It'll be fine!
Evil: I hope so…
That's the end of chapter one. Sorry there were no HTF characters in this chapter, but no worries; ahead there will be more HTF than HAF. Please review, but no flaming!