I was watching parental control the other night, and I automatically start warping the show im watching to fit whatever im obsessed with at the moment, and it happened to be the nu!trek, and I thought that leonard's parents might be the only ones that I was interested enough in to give a crack at being the kind of bitches those parents are.

Disclaimer: I do not own. I only desire… and dream…salivating, mind-numbing, sexy dreams…

Pairings: Right now its McCoy/Jocelyn, will it stay that way? Find out!

Also, im switching things up, and instead of one DATE that is SUPERVISED, im giving them one DAY that is UN-supervised. Its one of my things, I do not like to be watched (at all) , so I don't think anyone else should be either.

This will be AU because I am omitting a lot of junk like, uh Joanna.

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Ch. 1: The Selections

McCoy Residence

"Hi, I'm David, and this is my wife Anna—""And we called Parental Control because we HATE our son's girlfriend Jocelyn." A pair of dark haired Georgians sat in their living room, explaining their situation to the camera.

"Jocelyn is a gold digging, controlling bitch who I hate having around my house!" Anna said "She's always bossing Leonard around and won't ever let him study his medical journals for school"

CLIP

"Len, put those books down and take me to the movies or something!" a fair-skinned, dark haired 'she-devil' said to a tall, dark and handsome brunette man.

"Joc, if I don't study I'm going to fail." He said to her patiently.

END CLIP

"And she's always trying to get him to quit school. Who does that?" David said hotly.

CLIP AGAIN

"Jesus Leonard! Your stupid 'schoolwork' is always taking up time! You should really quit. Then we'd have more time together!" an enthusiastic Jocelyn said.

"Jocelyn, I can. Not. Do. That." Leonard said slowly.

END CLIP…

"Oh, and one of her most annoying habbits is that she's always taking baby name books wherever they go together, it's like she wants to be a young mother!" Anna took a sip of her coffee disdainfully.

CLIP

"Ohhh, Leo, look! How about Jezebel? Isn't that pretty? Or Laufeia! Isn't that exotic? Oh, or Joanna! That's so pretty, what do you think?" they were obviously on a date at a restaurant, and Leonard leaned over to look at the meanings.

His face twisted in a pained grimace as he read the first two, Jezebel: unexalted- which kinda meant stupid and not at all classy…

And then Laufeia actually was the name of the antiquated Norse god of evil and destruction…

But then he looked at Joanna: God is gracious… he kind of liked that one…

END CLIP

"So we've called Parental Control to help us convince Leonard to leave that shrew."

"We're confident that once Leonard meets some people who are actually supportive or nearly everything in his life that are of our choosing, then even if he doesn't choose one of our matches that he will leave Jocelyn and get a new girlfriend!" Anna said happily, "or boyfriend…" David added quietly…

"Or boyfriend! Thank you David, I forgot Leonard likes both now…" they looked kind of awkward together now.

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Interview Room, Contestant 1

"Hi, I'm Anna and this is my husband David, what is your name?"

"My lineal Vulcan name is unpronounceable by the human tongue, so you may call me Spock."

"Ok Spock, what do you do?"

"I am a professor at the University."

"What do you teach?"

"I teach Advanced Cultural Studies."

"That is so fascinating, are you all Vulcan? Because I think my Leonard needs some affection."

"Negative, I am only one half Vulcan, the other half is due to my mother, Amanda Grayson, a human native to Minnesota in North America."

"Oh how lovely, it doesn't seem to have hindered your logic though has it?" they laughed nervously and Spock arched one dark eyebrow "Well, Spock, do you enjoy any kind of outdoor recreational activities?"

"…All contact sports are expressly denied on Vulcan, because we are touch telepaths and recreational violence against one's peers is most illogical."

"I said activities, not sports."

"From time to time I take to reading my books outside, or grading papers in the park."

"…wow, uhm, I don't think Leonard would like you very much… sorry Spock, but I do hope you find somebody who you make a good connection to."

"Good day madam, sir, I do not think he would have enjoyed my presence either, seeing as I can be upsetting to most of you southerners. "

"I can't imagine why."

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NEXT

"I'm Anna, that's David, what is your name young lady?"

"I am Nyota Uhura."

"Oh what a pretty name, where's it from?"

"It's a traditional African name meaning warrior."

"Oh that's nice, what is your career path?"

"I'm in the academy studying xenolinguistics; I want to understand most alien languages."

"Oh do you speak Vulcan?—" "Anna, we are not setting up this young lady, we are trying to find matches for our son." "Right, right David…"

"So Nyota, do you like children? Would you like to have some of your own sometime?"

"I love children, I would think all women do, and I would like to have maybe one or two of my own, but never anytime soon."

"Splendid! Now, have you already got names picked out for future children?"

"Oh no, that too far into the future for me, I'd rather it be on the spot with something pretty and exotic that comes to my mind when I see my child."

"That's wonderful. How do you feel about doctors?"

"Doctors are probably mostly nice people, but I really would not want to date one, they seem like they are under a lot of stress all the time and are always at the hospital."

"I see… Well thank you Ms. Uhura, we'll call you if we take you."

"Thank you ma'am, and you too sir."

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NEXT

"Me=Anna, He=David, who are you?"

"My name is Christine Chapel"

"Oh that's nice. What do you do?"

"I'm an RN, and I work at the St. Jude in Savannah."

"REALLY? How do you feel about going to college?"

"I think that you should, and when you get there you should work very hard to get what you want."

"I like that. A lot. Do you participate in any outdoor activities?"

"I am on a community co-ed softball team in the summer."

"Lovely, Leonard enjoys watching baseball too. What do you think of kids?"

"I would like to have maybe one of my own later in life."

"Do you have names picked out?"

"Alastair if it's a boy, Adela if it's a girl."

"I see. Do you tend to be a more controlling girlfriend?"

"What girl isn't at times? But I wouldn't stop him from doing things like seeing his friends or anything drastic."

"Ah. Ok, thank you Christine, we'll call you if we choose you."

"Thanks."

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NEXT

"Hi, sweetie, I'm Anna, and this is David, what is your name?"

"My name is Pavel Chekov ma'am."

"Oh is that Polish?"

"Russian ma'am, but Poland used to be a part of Russia."

"That's nice, what do you do?"

"I am currently going to high school and I work at the grocery store."

"…How old are you again?"

"Sewenteen Sir."

"…Please leave, I don't want my son arrested for having intercourse with a minor."

"Understood sir."

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NEXT

"Hi I'm David, and this is my wife Anna, what is your name?"

"My names James Kirk, please call me Jim."

"Alright Jim, what do you do?"

"I go to the academy and I'm studying to be a Captain of a starship."

"How prestigious. Are you minoring in anything?"

"Uhm, yes, warp cores, and engineering, xenolinguistics, and diplomacy."

"That's quite a workload, can you handle all that?"

"Yes actually, I work really well when there's more of a challenge, and I am very well equipped to handle all of it."

"How so?"

"I don't know… I'm really smart and I find most things really easy?"

"How smart?"

"IQ is over 190 smart?"

"Good job. Do you do any outdoor activities?"

"I play soccer on the coed team, uhm, I play football whenever somebody wants me to play usually, but its touch, does that count? I really like being outside."

"Understandable. Do you like kids?"

"Yeah I think kids are great, but sometimes their annoying, you get my drift?"

"I get your drift, and I send back my own of 'you don't know the half of it'. Would you like some of your own?"

"Sure, maybe someday."

"How many? What would you name them?"

"I don't know. However many I wanted at the time, chances are I'll have one and then want another and another, and I have no clue what to name them."

David chuckled. "Good job kid, we'll call you if we want you to date our son."

"Cool, I can't wait to get that call, I'll be stalking my phone just waiting."

"That's a little disturbing."

"I know, but I am slightly insane."

"Who isn't?"

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Well, I liked that, does anyone else? I'm just going to sit in my room today writing chapters. Drop me a comment if you wanna, I love them so much. I really don't wanna be ragged on, my self esteem is fragile. xD