First off, thanks for the reviews! They make me want to write faster and update quicker! Sorry it is not all that quick but I am trying...

Hope you all enjoy, this chapter is not as long as the rest but I tried to get it up a little faster and now am working on chapter 10.

I will apologize now for any mistakes, they are mine and mine alone! Please forgive me.

O and I do not own anything from CSI...duh!

Chapter 9

"We have the foster records," Sofia said to the others as she set the box of files on the table and glanced at Ecklie behind her. She looked at Grissom questioningly.

"Has there been a development?" Ecklie asked for the second time. He was irritated because no one jumped to answer him the first time.

"Not yet Conrad. We know no more than the last time you checked." Grissom answered hoping Ecklie would retreat back to his office.

No such luck, "Is that the second victims foster records?" Ecklie asked as he joined around the table with the others.

Sara was growing more and more irritated and uncomfortable with each passing second. She took a deep breath and tried to calm her rising temper. She could feel Grissom's eyes on her from across the room pleading with her to keep her cool.

"Yes, it is. Now, if you don't mind, we are going to get started going over them." Grissom said hoping he would get the hint.

No again, Ecklie pulled up a chair and sat beside Grissom. "Let's do it."

Grissom sighed. He was afraid of this. He didn't know how much Sara could take and he knew she would refuse to leave the room. She needed to go through the files herself because her files still hadn't came and she may possibly recognize something in the Surban file that would mean nothing to everyone else. He would just have to keep a close eye on her and hopefully Catherine would help.

Sara rose from her chair and took the one that was directly across the table from Grissom and Ecklie. She reached for the box and waited for Ecklie to say something.

Indeed he did, "Sara, what are you doing? You shouldn't be working this case. You know that." he said matter of factly.

Sara glared up at him. "Ecklie, I am the most qualified to look through these files. No one else, including you, would know what or who to look for."

"Then you should tell us and we should be the ones looking. If this goes to court we could be in a predicament with you being so close and this being so personal." Ecklie said. He was really trying to take Sara feelings into consideration but he still sounded like an ass.

"You don't get it do you. I can't recall all the names and families from that part of my life. Don't you think I would love to tell you all what to look for and get as far away from this case as possible. I hate this all being brought back up and thrown in my face after all these years. I don't know what we are looking for until I find it," Sara said letting her anger get the best of her.

Grissom cleared his throat, "How about we go over it together? I will ask you questions about the families in these files and you can see if you recall anything."

Sara rolled her eyes, like that was really going to be any better if or when this all went to trial. By that time her and Grissom's relationship would definitely be public knowledge. She pinched the bridge of her nose trying to keep her emotions in check. "Whatever. I need something to drink. I'll be back." Sara got up and headed toward the bathroom. She had to pull herself together especially if Ecklie planned on sitting in.

"I'll talk to her," said Catherine knowing Grissom was dying to go to her. She rushed out and headed after Sara.

Catherine found her leaning over the sink in the bathroom. She had splashed water on her face and it was now dripping from her nose as she stood there trying to compose herself.

"I can't do this Catherine. It's one thing having you and Grissom going through my files but Ecklie. He makes my blood boil. I cannot have a discussion with him about how my father beat the shit out of my mother and I and how I am still dealing with the scars he left." Sara shook her head hard, "I can't do it. I have spent my whole life trying to forget and trying to build all these walls to keep everyone away from my past and now…"

Catherine leaned against the wall, "Sara, I know you feel like your world is falling apart. And I know it doesn't seem like it now but all of this will eventually be over. Things will get better and you will have Grissom and this baby and your life will be better than you ever thought it could be. Your past is behind you and there is nothing you can do about what happened back then but you just have to be strong now and get through it and then you can put it all behind you again. No one is going to change the way they see you. If anything we will all see you as stronger because of it."

Sara took some deep breaths. "I know you don't understand, but my biggest fear is for us to lose our job. Grissom has told me he didn't care about that but I know he does. As for me, this is the closest thing to a family that I have ever had. I love it here. I can't see myself doing anything else. I don't want to have to go somewhere else to work every day. And I don't want my past hanging over my head for the rest of my life. I know how people look at people like me. I saw it every day until I got out of foster care. I hated it. You were always treated like you were breakable. Like there was a 'fragile, handle with care' sticker on your forehead. It is like it's all starting up again. Like I am 12 years old again. Even Ecklie is being too nice, and I can't take it."

"Wow, your mad because Ecklie is being 'too nice'" Catherine smiled.

"Let's just go get through this. Maybe he will leave when we are done." Sara said as she turned and headed for the exit.

Grissom and Ecklie had the files spread out on the table and Nick, Warrick, and Greg were all reading when Sara and Catherine sat back down at the table.

"Anything interesting yet?" Catherine asked Grissom.

"Not that I can see. Stella was only placed with three different families before she was adopted." Grissom answered.

Sara reached over to take the list of families from Grissom. She looked through the names and didn't see anything she recognized. She had however, tried to block as much of her past out of her mind that she possibly could. She still thought that if she seen the name of a family she had been placed with that it would ring a bell. She looked through them again, concentrating more this time…she still remembered no one from the list.

She could feel all eyes on her, "I wasn't placed in any of these homes." Sara looked through the rest of the files. "There should be a psych file here somewhere," she said to no one in particular.

"Here," Nick said handing it over to her.

Sara took it and glanced at the doctor's name at the top. Dr. Marcus Smith was who handled Stella Surban. Sara couldn't remember if that was her psychologist way back then but it was worth checking out. The file said Stella was distraught and in shock when she was first brought in. 'No shit' Sara thought to herself. The file talked about her bruises from previous beatings and about how the girl told the doctor about her father. It was all a little to close to home for Sara. Stella's father would come in and start drinking. If he didn't fall asleep in his chair he would get mad about something and take it out on the first person he came to. It went on to tell a few horror stories of the beatings and Sara finally stopped reading when she felt her head starting to spin.

"We need to check out this doctor," Sara told Grissom weakly. She hated sounding like that especially in front of this many people.

"Do you remember him?" Ecklie asked before anyone else could say anything.

"No but like I said before, I don't remember all of the names from back then." Sara said.

"I'm on it," Brass said as he grabbed the file and headed out the door.

"Hold up, I'm going to," Sara said as she got up a little to fast and grabbed the side of the table for support when the wave of dizziness hit.

Catherine took Sara by the arm as everyone looked on and inched closer in case she fell. Sara gently shrugged her off when the spell was over, "Thanks, I'm fine. Just got up to fast."

Sara took off behind Brass without looking back. It felt good to be out of that room and away from all the prying eyes that were so full of questions. She wished everyone was more like Brass. He may feel sorry for you but you will never know it. He was a hard ass and Sara loved him for it.

"I was hoping you would follow me," Brass said to Sara when they made it out of the lab and headed toward the station. "I figured you needed a break from all that. How you holding up?"

"I've been better. I just hate how everyone is acting like I can't do my job because some psycho is after me." Sara rolled her eyes.

"Yea, everyone gets so protective. I can't blame them but I also can't blame you for wanting some space and wanting to work. I know if there was some freak after me I would be busting my ass to find him before he reached his next victim. So you think there may be something to this Dr. Smith?" Brass asked.

Sara shrugged, "I really have no idea. Every foster child that comes from an abusive home is supposed to be assigned a psychologist who specialized in the field so I just thought it would be worth looking into. However, the doctors usually assigned to the children were fresh out of college and had zero experience. The city only had so much money to put into the system so most doctors done the work for cheap to gain experience then move on to a higher paying job."

"You seem to know a lot about it," Brass commented.

"I did a lot of research as a kid. While the others were fighting over the tv I was reading and researching whatever I could think of," Sara told him.

Back in the lab Grissom was worried about Sara. This was the first time she had been with someone not completely up to date since they found out about the pregnancy. "Catherine, why don't you go see what Brass finds and you and Sara go grab some food from the diner for everyone on your way back," he said as he handed her his credit card.

Catherine smiled, "Will do," she said waving off his card. She knew he was more worried about Sara than about eating, but it would be a good cover. Ecklie was still going through the files with the rest of the group but they were pretty sure there was nothing there to help the investigation.

As Catherine entered the station she spotted Sara and Brass in his office staring at a computer screen. "Find anything?" she asked as she entered the office.

"Well, yes and no. It's like Dr. Marcus Smith dropped off the map in 1994," Brass said.

"The same year I left foster care for college," Sara added.

"Hmm, so what could have happened to him?" Catherine asked.

"Well, after August of 94' he apparently quit the psychology profession. There is no paper trail of any kind. Not even a phone bill. It's as if he died, but there is no death certificate." Brass said with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Could have an alias. If he has never gotten caught for committing any crimes we wouldn't know if he is going by another name. What about next of kin?" Catherine asked.

"Nothing here. He didn't list anyone on any of his paperwork." Brass kept looking until he found a hospital, or institution rather, that Smith had interned at. He printed out the address and picked up the phone to call Sofia.

After he told her the deal he told her to fill Grissom in and meet him in 20 minutes in the parking lot. They were going to ask some questions.

"I want to come," Sara said.

"Oh no you don't," Catherine said. "Grissom would have my head if I let you go. It's not because I think you can't handle it but it would be stupid and dangerous and…"

Sara held her hand up to stop Catherine's rant, "I got it. I know." Sara hated it but she knew Catherine was right. She needed to get back to the lab and take her medicine. She could feel the nausea starting up slowly and knew she better get back before it got much worse.

As the two women left the station Catherine noticed Sara was looking a little pale. "Grissom wants us to grab some food and bring it back to the lab…you up for that?"

Sara nodded slightly, "Lets just make it quick, I am not to hungry at the moment."

"I know you are sick of everyone telling you what to do but you really need to try and eat on a regular basis. It will keep you from getting so run down," Catherine said hoping she didn't upset the younger woman.

"I know. I just feel like I can't keep anything down. And once I get sick it seems like I cant quit so it is kind of hard to make myself eat when I feel like this," Sara explained.

"How about you take your medicine and when you feel better you try to eat a decent meal. Maybe after that you can start trying to eat something every couple of hours or so," Catherine suggested.

"Sounds like your trying to get me fat," Sara joked half heartedly.

Catherine smiled. It was good to hear Sara joke after everything she had been through the last few days.

The two women entered the lab after swinging by the diner to pick up some food. By now Sara's stomach was in overdrive. She headed straight toward Grissom's office to get her medicine but was stopped by Ecklie calling her name wanting to know more about the doctor.

Sara was afraid if she stopped she would lose her newfound control she had over her rolling stomach. However, if she walked on into Grissom's office it would raise more questions from the one person she did not want be found out by. She decided to take her chances with the balding man and prayed for her stomach to settle down just long enough for her to get rid of him.

"What Ecklie," she asked a little to harshly.

"What all did you find on this so called doctor?" he asked.

"Whole lot of nothing…after August of 94' there is no trail whatsoever of a Dr. Marcus Smith. Brass is going to ask questions at a place where he interned before he started treating foster kids." Sara took several deep breath and hoped Ecklie didn't notice.

"Did you remember if you may have talked to this doctor while you were in the system?" he asked for the second time that day.

"I have already answered that question…I do not remember the name of the psychologist assigned to my case back then. Is that all Ecklie, I really need to check on something?" Sara said starting to lose the battle with her nausea as well as her patience.

"You sure you are okay? You are looking a little pale," Ecklie commented. "You may need to see a doctor. It is probably due to all the stress you have been under lately."

Sara rolled her eyes as she turned to go, "You have no idea," she said under her breath. She breathed deeply until she was pretty sure he was no longer watching her then she shot into the ladies bathroom and ran to the first stall.

After she was done she flushed the toilet and seen feet in the next stall. Great she thought to herself as she exited the stall.

Wendy came face to face with a pale looking Sara washing her hands and face at the sinks. "Sara, you okay? You don't look so good."

Sara smiled a little and nodded her head, "Yea, thanks. A case just got the best of me. I'll be fine."

"You know, you work too hard. If something ever happens to me, I pray you're the CSI assigned to my case. I don't think you ever sleep." Wendy said.

Sara wasn't sure if it was a compliment or not, "Thanks, I think."

Wendy smiled her sweet smile, "Take care of yourself girl," she said as she touched Sara on the shoulder. "And you may wanna take some Tylenol, you feel a little warm."

Sara was finally alone as she entered Grissom's office. She went straight for her medicine and after she got it down she grabbed the thermometer.

Just then Grissom walked in and Sara took a deep breath knowing he would make her lay down if she had just the slightest bit of fever. She discreetly slipped the thermometer into her pocket and made a mental note to check it as soon as she was alone again.

"How you feeling?" Grissom asked.

"Better now. I was a little late with my medicine and on my way to get it when I was cornered in the hall by Ecklie and of course he just made my stomach flip worse." Sara stopped talking when she seen a delivery guy in the hall. Grissom was saying something about her blood pressure but Sara couldn't hear every word.

She exited the office with Grissom still talking and met the delivery boy. His eyes lit up when he saw her, "I am looking for a Sara Sidle…" he said hoping he had found the right person.

"That's me" she took the pen and paper and signed for the box of files. Then she took the box from the boy and made her way to the layout room where she would hopefully be alone.

She was in luck, everyone else was in the break room eating so she set the box down and began to open it. It was then that she felt his eyes on her back. "Griss, can you just give me a minute. I really want to look through these alone first."

He walked close enough to rub his hands gently up and down her arms from behind, "I understand. I will be right outside if you need me. He glanced around for prying eyes then he kissed her shoulder softly. "I love you, Sara." Then he was gone.

A tear ran down her cheek as she felt the emotion in his touch. She needed him more than air, but she needed to be able to do this alone.

She took a few deep breaths and began to open the box. Just then she heard a commotion outside the door. She turned to see Grissom, Ecklie, and Catherine arguing. Then Ecklie pushed past the two of them and came into the layout room.

Sara immediately closed the box and stood in front of it as if she were trying to hide it. "What are you doing?" she asked angrily.

"Sara, you are going to blow this case. You can't be going through potential evidence alone. You know what that would look like at a trial." Ecklie was headed toward the box of Sara's files but Sara stepped in front off him.

"For your information, Ecklie, this is my own personal file and I STRESS personal. I will NOT have the entire lab going through this and I do NOT care what it does to the damn trial," Sara fumed. She could feel her stomach starting to cramp up and prayed the pain would stop before it got so bad she couldn't hide it.

"Sara, you ordered these files to the lab, therefore they are part of this case. At least let Catherine or Grissom go through them with you. That way you will at least not be going through them alone. I will stay in case you all need any help," Ecklie said.

"Look Ecklie, with all do respect, I do not want your help. I want to go through these files alone. I don't mind if Catherine or Grissom stay but I am doing this alone. If you don't like that, go find your own investigation and stay out of ours." Sara was getting closer and closer to a yell.

Grissom stepped closer to her noticing the slight look of pain on her face. He knew better than to get too close though or that would only make it worse.

"Sidle, you are getting closer to a suspension with every word that comes out of your mouth. I suggest you take five and pull yourself together," Ecklie said.

Sara fumed again, "And I suggest you go back to your office and suck the under sheriff's…"

"Sara," Grissom and Catherine said in unison.

Grissom took charge, "That's enough. Go wait for me in my office." He looked at Sara sternly to let her know he was serious.

"Grissom," she tried.

"Go, now." He was in supervisor mode and Sara knew there was no arguing.

Grissom then turned to Ecklie, "Conrad, you could show a little more compassion. This is a very private matter and you act like it should be a walk in the park. I will take these files in my office and let her go through them at her own pace by herself. She deserves a little privacy. Meanwhile, why don't you take a break and go back to your office for a while. I am sure you have some important business to take care of."

Ecklie huffed a little, "Fine Gil, but I will be back and I expect a full report on Sara's file. I want to know if she had the same doctor as the Surban girl or if we are barking up the wrong tree."

With that Ecklie headed for his office and Grissom and Catherine breathed a sigh of relief. "That could have got bad," Catherine said.

Grissom grabbed the box with Sara's files and headed for the door. "It did get bad. Sara is hurting again, and I still haven't filled the prescription for pain. We got busy and I completely forgot."

Catherine looked at him funny as they headed for his office, "When did she tell you she was hurting?"

They walked in to Sara curled up on the couch holding her stomach, "She didn't have to. It was written all over her face...here" Grissom handed her the prescription from his desk, "Take this and get it filled. Hurry back!" Grissom told her as he made his way to Sara.

Authors notes:

Well I hope you enjoyed chapter 9...it was a little more case oriented and I am hoping to balance the case and personal business out from now on...it is taking the story a while to develope but it is coming along.

Please read and review...the more reviews the faster I seem to write!