Disclaimer: Don't own.

Part of being a Mafioso was the requirement to speak an adequate number of languages for the sake of communication, Reborn so declared on a fine morning one day. So the first one that Reborn had decided to drill into the guardians' – and Tsuna's – heads was English, seeing as there was already a basic understanding and foundation in that subject due to the school's education curriculum.

That, unfortunately, did not include Tsuna, who had once brilliantly declared that he was a pencil.

(It also did not include Lambo, but he was still a toddler anyway. A highly annoying one.)

Hibari Kyoya, on the other hand, was an excellent learner. If he did not already know things, he would learn them. Being a guardian, he was no exception, and due to the bit of respect that he had for Reborn, not to mention his viciously annoying tutor, Dino, he picked up the language.

Fridays, Reborn also declared on a fine morning one day, would be the day where the family would have to speak in English to one another. Needless to say, hilarity ensued each of the conversations that took place. A comedian would have died to record the conversations Tsuna had with Yamamoto and Gokudera.

Many people would have died laughing listening to Hibari speak in English.

Unfortunately, Hibari was Hibari, the unrestrained cloud that drifted anywhere he desired, the one who never listened to anyone or anything.

"Hibari," Reborn said as he hopped up the skylark's desk on a Friday morning, when Tsuna and gang were still trapped in a cage.

Hibari grunted in response, looking up to acknowledge the tiny hit man.

"What is it?"

"Do not forget what day it is," Reborn replied smoothly and fluently in English.

"I will not play these foolish games with you, baby," said Hibari.

"Only Yamamoto would think that this is a game. And I might just spar with you on the thirtieth day of the following month."

Hibari Kyoya, on the other hand, was an excellent learner and a foolish proud lion. Reborn knew that well – after all, he was the world's best hit man.

Two things had gotten Hibari's undivided attention – the first being the prospect of being able to fight (otherwise eloquently put in Hibari's tongue, "bite to death") a worthy adversary. And the second was –

"Are you suggesting that I am on the level of that worthless imbecile, baby?" he uttered in a dangerously low voice. His eyes deceived his mouth, as they showed a glint of achievement. He had, after all, secured a competent opponent.

Reborn tipped his head and lowered his fedora, a menacing shadow cast over dark eyes. He smirked. He had caged and tagged the bird.

"Not at all. You prove yourself to be a great and fast learner, but you haven't caught up with certain things, I see. That's why we're having a lesson now."

"Be quick about it, baby."

"Then be quick about it, Hibari. Today, we shall be going over terms of endearment."

Hibari raised a brow.

"I need not know about such trivial things."

"Of course you do," Reborn now sat on the desk, back facing Hibari. His back was slouched casually and his arms tucked comfortably in his pockets.

It may have looked like a serious conversation between the two, but if one looked at Reborn's very amused face, they would immediately know otherwise.

"The first: dear."

"I don't see how a herbivore comes into the picture when we're talking about a subject completely unrelated to that."

"You still have a ways to go, Hibari. D-E-A-R."

Reborn knew that he had won another round, Hibari was actually replying to him pertaining to the subject.

"The second: honey."

"I find it rather disturbing that you suggest for anyone to call their lovers as though they want to eat them."

"I think you may just be the most emotionally retarded person I've met in my life, Hibari."

Hibari just grunted and put down his pen, flexing his fingers for awhile.

"It doesn't bring any detriment to my life, baby."

"You're about to learn that it will."

"The third – "

Now the pupil cut his teacher off.

"Explain."

"I am. You see, as my fifth lover, you'll have to learn a few things about loving. Now, the third –," said Reborn smugly, until he was interrupted.

"The last time I checked with my subconscious, I wanted to break all your bones with my tonfas," the tone was now scathingly acid.

"I would if you shut up, darling. Now, the third one is: baby." If not for being calm and collected, brilliant and wise, and smart and deceiving, Reborn would have uncharacteristically keeled over and guffawed. He had placed a huge emphasis on the word, "darling".

Hibari on the other hand, looked as though he had swallowed a corrosive substance. The great, arrogant and painfully foolish Hibari had been ousted. For the credit, he was humiliated by a very witty person.

"It would do you good as my lover to say "baby" with an affectionate tone. Otherwise, learn that there is, what I call, context in English that exists not in Japanese, you see."

He was only answered with a growl.

"I'll look forward to the date we have on the thirtieth next month, my sweetheart," Reborn said as he slid off the desk.

Ah, yes! It was not for nothing in the end, he still had a battle to look forward to…

"If you can seek its existence. The next lesson will be on how we shouldn't let our excitement get the better of us," he now slid the door open and stepped out, leaving a dumbstruck Hibari sitting at his desk.

In the heat of his impulse, he had not realized that it would be February the next month.

And so that was how the first journey of Hibari's forehead swiftly descending upon his desk was made, overlooking the fact that such an action would have been atypical of him.

A/N: I apologise for butchering your favourite characters and writing very unhumourous, senseless drivel.

I don't even know what I'm doing up at one in the morning writing this when I have to get up early later.