Disclaimer: I'm an engineer, not an anime producer. Hence, I don't own 'em. I'm just playing nicely with them for a little bit.

Author's note: This is my long-promised canon 13x4 fic. If you can't figure out where this fits into the series, drop me a line and I'll let you know.

Pairings: For entire arc, 13x4 and 3x4. This part, none. (9+4 and 1+4 only if you're looking for it)

Warnings: none

Spoilers: This is a canon fic, so it assumes a working knowledge of the series timeline. Definite spoilers for the end of the series in Part 2.

Dedication: This is Jessie Shockey's (very late) birthday fic

Absolution

Prologue

"Quatre, are you certain you want to go alone?"

Lucretia Noin regarded the young Gundam pilot evenly, care evident in her eyes. She made no pretenses to herself - she was concerned about him, moreso than just for his safety. He had been morose ever since Heero had left - no, since the day both had arrived in Sanq.

She knew that he had been tearing himself up over the disappearance of Trowa Barton. Since coming to Relena's school, Quatre had spent every free moment searching for clues of the missing pilot, forgoing nourishment and rest when no one thought to check up on him. After he had nearly collapsed at the piano a week ago, Noin had taken it upon herself to keep tabs on the Arabian pilot.

Quatre had been holding... all right... until yesterday, one day after Heero left for Luxembourg. Enough so that she felt comfortable leaving alone him back at the palace while she went out on a routine scouting patrol. She had returned an hour later and completely forgotten to check up on the young pilot.

As she had walked through the palace gardens, she espied a familiar figure sitting on the bench by the roses. She quickened her pace to join him, when a low cry sounded ahead. She stopped mid-step and watched, fascinated and horrified, as Quatre clutched at his chest, tearing at the fancy white dress vest. He fell forward, almost off of the bench, and from where Noin stood, she could see his eyes clenching shut in pain.

She willed her legs to move forward, to help Quatre, but her body refused to obey her mind. She tried to call out to him, but her voice proved just as useless as her legs. Instead she was forced to watch helplessly as he pulled himself upright again, his breathing hitched and his arms now wrapped tightly around himself as his body shook with chills.

"Heero," he whispered through clenched teeth, brows knit in pain. "Heero...."

After another minute of shaking, he pulled his arms tighter around himself and concentrated, schooling the pain from his expression into the more typical serious expression he wore. His breathing returned to normal, and his eyes re-opened, the evidence of tears shining around their edges.

He pulled his arms away, dropping a rose from his right hand that Noin had failed to notice him holding earlier, and moved to leave. Her legs started working again, and she began to follow, then stopped, thinking the better of it. Quatre did not know that she had seen him, and she felt badly enough already that she had not tried to help.

She walked slowly over to the bench, careful not to be seen by the retreating pilot, and absently picked up the rose Quatre had dropped. Her eyes widened, and she fumbled it in her hands trying not to drop it.

The stem was covered in the Arabian's blood.

Since then she had trailed him, worried less about a relapse and more about the boy's own mental well-being. She was not surprised, then, when he asked to take a fighter jet to go retrieve Sandrock. Part of her hesitated, fearful of what danger Quatre was about to put himself into.

It was that hesitance that led her to speak.

"Quatre, are you certain you want to go alone?"

"Of course, Miss Noin," he replied simply, favoring her with one of his sweet smiles.

A sweet - and empty - smile.

She sighed, a frown marring her lips. "I should warn you about this," she began, pointedly looking Quatre in the eyes. "Word has come back from Luxembourg that Romefeller has destroyed the Treize faction."

She did not miss the small gasp that escaped the blonde's lips.

She continued. "As a result, the world's power structure is leaning towards the Romefeller Foundation. We're practically alone out here."

She paused. She knew she had to say something to convince him to come back, no matter how difficult things looked. Her greatest fear was that Quatre would find Heero dead, and seek his own end in battle.

She had fought too hard to give up Sanq that easily. And she refused to lose Quatre as well.

"The Sanq Kingdom is like a candle flickering in the wind."

Quatre's eyes widened, a defiant glint reflecting back. "I know," he responded, gripping his flight helmet tightly, "That's why I have to get Sandrock back. So that I can protect this nation from evil." He placed the helmet over his head, and with a firm nod to her, leapt up into the jet. The canopy swung closed, and she stepped back as the engines roared to life.

"I hope you know what you're doing," she whispered. "Please come back soon."

"Please come back safe."