author's note: oh, i won't give up, inevercutmyself..HAHAwhatajoke (woah, what a name, haha). i've just been busy and admittedly a lazy bitch. BUT I SHALL PERSERVERE. :) and thank you, everyone else who reviewed!

disclaimer: i own nothing.

'Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.' - Anonymous

"Daddy, are we gonna visit Mummy today?" Why was it, that every time those words left his small daughter's mouth, he wanted to crawl up into a fetal position and cry? His wife had been dead for four years, yet the tears still bubbled under the surface and threatened to erupt with the barest about of pressure?

"No, sweetheart." Carlisle swallowed in a feeble attempt to get his bearings, "Mummy can't be visited today. A nice man is cleaning up her... her home." Her home? A lovely choice of words for a graveyard, he thought to himself. Then again, it was the home for the dead. Still, those words seemed to macabre for his calm and doting, sweet Esme. She deserved something better... she deserved to live.

"Oh." His youngest twiddled her thumbs. "I just wanted ta show her the card I made for her. We made cards for Mummy's Day, Daddy. Everybody was showing their Mummy's theirs and I wanted to give Mummy hers." 'Oh God,' Carlisle thought desperately, tightening his grib on his coffee cup. In his zombie like state, he had forgotten about Mother's Day, and could see the poorly disguised tears welling up in his daughter's eyes. Biting his lip, he did something he knew he'd regret.

"Well, Alice," He didn't look at his daughter as he talked, but into the brown liquid in his cup. It was getting cold, "Today I could let you skip school to come with me to Mummy's... Mummy's home." The brightening of Alice's face was almost worth the pain he felt at that moment, almost. Not fully.

"Really?" Alice asked eagerly, bouncing up on her heels, "But what about Emmett, Daddy? He mighta wanted to go to Mummy too, but he already left for school! An' what about the hospital Daddy! They need you! Oh, what do we do?" Alice bit her thumb in consternation and a small smile overtook Carlisle's thinned lips. She appeared so worried finally he had to stop her.

"Emmett can come this evening, Alice. He goes to the big kid school so it would hurt his grades if he didn't go more than yours. And I can just take the day off, sweetie. Now go get your coat on and we'll walk there." Alice shot off like a rocket and Carlisle stood up after a few minutes, thankful she was gone. He loved his daughter more than anything in the world, but those big green eyes were her mother's, and that heart shaped face... if it weren't for her black hair Alice could pose as a Mini Esme. Every time Carlisle looked into her innocent face he saw Esme's eyes as they closed one last time after handing tiny Alice to him.

Carlisle shook his head tiredly and slipped on a coat himself. He didn't know what he was going to do about the graveyard mower, other than simply ask him to leave and come back the next day. He didn't want to have an audience while stupidly standing in front of his wife's tombstone.

"I'm ready to go, Daddy!" Alice chirped, breaking Carlisle out of his reverie. He shot a smile towards his daughter and hoisted her up on his shoulders. She started to complain ("I can walk, Daddy! I have legs, see?"), but he shushed her with a promise of stopping for cocoa after their trek to the graveyard.

It was just half past eight and seeing as how the roads were clogged up and not looking like it was changing anytime soon, Carlisle was glad he chose to walk, although he normally didn't because as calm as he seemed, he was often paranoid of losing Alice in the crowd. She was a tiny and pretty little girl, perfect prey for some dirty old man and Carlisle swore to himself he would never let that happen.

Alice chattered the whole way to the cemetary, talking about this and that and Daddy did you know Susie held hands with Archie at recess? Ew! The second they hit the cemetary gates, though, she demanded to be put down. Carlisle smiled and saluted, telling her her wish was his command, then ordered her to stay at her mother's tombstone only, and wait for him, seeing as they had been there enough times for her to know which it was.

"Sir?" Carlisle called, seeing a man with a pushmower, "Could you maybe come back tomorrow? My little girl wants to see her mother, and I assume she doesn't want an audience.... " The man's eyes twinkled. Carlisle knew Alice wouldn't mind an audience at all, in fact, she enjoyed telling anyone who listened of her 'Pretty Mummy in Daddy's picture books.'

"Of course." He replied, his voice formal. He left as asked, but still, Carlisle had an uneasy feeling about him and hurried back to Alice. She was currently chattering to a cold, teardrop headstone and pointing out the little hearts on her card.

"... and Jasper let me borrow his pink to color your hearts, Mummy, " She was saying excitedly, "He's really nice and says he's from a place called Tex.... Texas. People make fun of how he talks and stuff, but don't tell nobody Mummy, I think he talks really cute." Carlisle smiled and leaned against an old oak. He could spend the day watching his daughter and then just leave, but he knew he wouldn't feel right unless he had his turn, too.

"Okay Daddy!" Alice said, maybe ten minutes later (because Carlisle knew she could talk the hind legs off of a horse), "It's your turn. I love you Mummy! Daddy wants to talk to you. Happy Mummy's Day! Remember to not let nobody take your card, 'cuz I made it 'specially for you." She skipped away to do what, Carlisle didn't know. He faintly saw her toying with the oak tree's bark that he had leaned on.

"Esme?" Carlisle started softly, making sure Alice couldn't hear, "I miss you, sweetheart. Alice and Emmett do, too. They need their Mummy. I can't be both, honey, I just... " He squeezed his eyes shut, but still a few tears slipped out. He kneeled there for he had no idea how long, and then he felt small arms wrap around his leg.

"Don't be sad, Daddy." Alice whispered, "Me and Emmett loves you lots. I bet Mummy did, too." Carlisle bit his cheek and gathered Alice in his arms.

"She did." He managed to choke out, "and she loved you too, sweetheart. Now, what about that cocoa?" He stood up, Alice in his arms. Carlisle walked away, but turned and took once last look at Esme's headstone, the messy Mother's Day card held down from the wind by an angel. Softly, he mouthed, 'I love you', and walked away.

--

"One medium and one small, sir?" The barista asked politely, eyeing him over. Carlisle squeezed his nostrils tightly, still not completely composed from the graveyard episode.

"Please." Carlisle replied tiredly. Alice started to chatter again beside him- they were in a booth- and he half heartedly listened, though he was really not into it. He was simply emotionall drained and all he needed was a good glass of Brandy, not cocoa, but he couldn't drink in front of his daughter.

"Daddy! Daddy! Did you see that woman walk in?" Alice suddenly said, shaking Carlisle's arm. He shook his head rapidly and followed Alice's pointing finger, so caught up in himself he forgot to scold her for being rude.

"She's pretty Daddy but she don't look too good!" Alice commented, her voice low. Apparently she, even for a four year old, had enough sense not to talk too loudly.

Carlisle realized his daughter was right. And the woman... she could be no more than seventeen or eighteen. She appeared to be wearing a ragged pair of jeans and a loose top. Her hair was knotted and looked as if it hadn't been washed in days. She belonged anywhere but where she was at the moment, in the highend district of London, but there was just something about her. Was it her step? She walked so hopefully, and her eyes were beautiful, oh God, those eyes. Carlisle could see, even far away, that they were brown, wide and doe like, absolutely stunning... yet she seemed like she was losing hope. For what?

"Excuse me," Carlisle asked his waitress after she gave them their drinks, "But who is that woman?" The waitress's eyes flared slightly and a pout appeared on her lips.

"She's just some homeless off of the streets, probably." The waitress, Tanya, sniffed, "Came in here asking for a job. A job! Where does she think she is? She must have run out of luck or something because she's sure not getting any bloody job at a high end place like this, that's the truth." Carlisle's eyes narrowed. Did this girl have no compassion?

"Alice, stay here," He ordered sharply, not exactly sure what he was doing. He walked up to the counter, where the homeless girl had a despondent look on her face and was prepared to leave. He took pity on her and her gentle looking eyes.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Are you looking for a job?" Carlisle asked politely. "If you are, I've been needing someone to watch my daughter after preschool, because I'm often home late from work. If you're interested, call this number." He quickly jotted it down with a pencil in his pocket and a napkin. "Even so, here's a few pounds for advancement of your first paycheck." As he handed the girl the money, he tried to ignore the shock and warmth he felt when he touched her. Quickly, he grabbed Alice and left the coffee shop. Carlisle didn't notice the homeless girl's eyes followed him the whole time in such gratitude it would warm even the coldest of souls.

--

Guess who the homeless girl is? :D