Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.

I started looking for some Mamoru stories around this site and found a few shocking things hidden away on some old pages. I just couldn't resist using it in this defense story.

Mamoru's defense part 2

I see a lot of you responded on my defense. It seems it was so good you all are at a loss of words. But I'm not going to sit here and just take all of your crap and do nothing. I'm going to hack into your email addresses and delete all your emails! And when I'm done doing that I'll delete all of your stories you've written on this site! All of your precious ReiUsagi moments gone!

Anyway, I am the great Chiba Mamoru! No one can outtalk me! I'll continue to defend myself to each of you personally!

(reads part of a story out loud first)

''Ofcourse there are so many ways to die, like a death that can happen to anyone. One beautiful morning while Usagi was still asleep in the bed she shared with her lover, Mamoru got up and really had to go to the bathroom. But just when he entered he slipped over the shampoo that was spread all over the floor and broke his neck. He was now so sorry he had rejected Usagi's pleads to clean up the bathroom. But just like any other he had to pay for his mistakes. Some did that with money or going by to jail but not Mamoru, he paid by dying in his own house at such a young age.''

A hero doesn't die in his own bathroom. That's all I have to say.

I also read a lot of stories in which people justify killing me off because I dumped Usagi once because of some nightmares. You all think that choice was an easy one to make? I made the girl I love cry and beg me to return. It did feel good at some times though. It showed me how much she actually needed me and my roses. Anyway, I did it to protect her. At that time I thought it was the best choice to make. In the end we got back together and I never hurt her like that again. Except for the time I got kipnapped again. I'm pretty sure I made her cry a lot. But I wasn't there so you can't pin that on me!

As for your reviews...

Major Mike powell, who the hell do you think you are? I suck at life?! Then how come I'm still here, eh? I saved Usagi a lot of times. Do you know how and why? Because I'm good at something. I can throw roses! And I won't go to hell. Because of all the good things I did. I never hurt anyone out of free will.

Azura's kittie you say you never liked me? How come? What did I ever do to you? Break your heart when you asked me out? I am not sorry! I've loved Usagi from the moment I saw her. I just don't have the heart to lie to you about my feelings for you when there are none. Okay, I didn't exactly love her from the moment I first saw her. But after a while of teasing her and making Usagi cry I really started to have feelings for the girl.

Secret saturnare you really on my side? Defend me for crying out loud!

Aceina! Don't tell everyone that! Miss Takeuchi made a little mistake during that interview! She was drunk. She liked me the best. She just had me kipnapped all the time for fan service. Seemed the show got more viewers whenever I'm gone. Probably because they're all so incredibly curious about where the hell I am.

small town minx you tell them! You like me and even with your open mind and all you see right through their crazy minds. It's not fair to write me off as a complete asshole or a total loser. Because I'm a good and decent guy. I mean I might be a college student already and Usagi might've been 14 when we first kissed and all but that doesn't make me a sick pervert. I'm just in love with a beautiful young woman. Don't you agree my friend?

The review that shocked me the most had to be from ShadowCub. I read a lot of reviews you left around this site. Why do I never catch a review on a story about my and Usagi together, getting married or falling in love? Why only review those gay couples? I'm sure you're just afraid that you might actually like what you would read about me and switch sides.

And if I die I would certainly not take my beautiful daughter with me. Seiya can have his own princess. I've got mine. Usagi I mean! Not Chibi-Usa!

I actually read a few stories involving me and Chibi-usa together. But I won't defend myself from that. All of you know incest is wrong. And even you haters won't put me through something like that. Even though some of you obviously did. But I don't think it was meant in a hurtful sence of the word. More like a romantic gesture. Please stop doing that.

Laney-chan why the hell was that toilet part funny? It wasn't funny at all. No one would flush himself. It isn't even realistic. I mean even if I would try to flush myself I wouldn't even get far enough into the damn toilet to even get stuck in the pipes. And I'm not some skinny broad who fit anyway. I have a lot of muscles on my body. If you watch the anime you could see that. In episodes I'm not wearing my favourite blazer or my stylish tuxedo ofcourse.

TruePrime, or should I say TrueCrime? You say you don't hate me but like to see Usagi with that pyro anyway? You found yourself laughing when I flushed myself? How come you can't defend me when you love my character? I mean, why don't you bring up how many times I saved Sailor Moon or how our love even lasted for several lifetimes?

If there's something more I hate than reading how people bash me it's potatoes. So dear Lowlifeflyer1080 I have a question for you. Why the hell do you want me dead in the first place? Why would anyone walk into a burning building in the first place? You know what I would do when I see a fire? I'd throw a rose and run back home. Not because I'm scared. Ofcourse not. I AM a man. I'll go back to get a bucket of water.

Most of you people would find that stupid because I could just call Neptune or Mercury to stop the fire. But I am a man. I don't need women to do a man's job. And even if I would die in a fire I would never take a potato with me so you can have something to eat! I bet you never even had a potato. You're just looking for a lame excuse to...

Haruka: First of all her name's LowFlyer1080. And what kind of defense is this? You really think you're all that by attacking the reviewers?

Mamoru: One review said you're not so populair yourself, Tenoh. By the way, I believe it was Potato-girl who mentioned something like that.

Haruka: Excuse me?

Mamoru: Read for yourself.

Haruka (reads): Hey! Michiru and I have a bigger fanbase than any other couple!

Mamoru: I read a lot of stories Tenoh and I found even one about you and Usagi together as a couple. But you want to know how she learnt about your existence in that story? You were Tuxedo Kamen in that one and saved her.

Haruka: No way. No one would write that. Besides, this is a place for you to defend yourself. Not me.

Mamoru: I AM defending myself. Someone lesbian actually liked me enough to turn Tenoh Haruka into Tuxedo Kamen!

(Mamoru starts to read another Mamoru bashing fic.)

''And no matter how deep and how good you look you won't see anything else there but friendship between her and her senshi. Back in the silver millenium we fell in love. I was just plain ol' Endymion and didn't have an alter ego for her to fall in love with.

In this time I might have been two different people. (Mamoru and Tuxedo Kamen.) But that's because I'm a schizoprenic and you cannot pin my mental illness on me like that. That's hurtful and mean.''

Mamoru: I'm not a schizoprenic! Where did that come from?!

Haruka: Well, the part you just read out loud is from your own defense you idiot. You made that up to defend yourself.

Mamoru: No I didn't. It's a 'defense'. Why would I say something terrible about myself. That doesn't make sense.

Haruka: Nothing you do make sense.

Mamoru: Let's see about that. Here, hear this. Someone wrote this about me:

''Mamoru walked into the room. He looked so handsome in his green blazer and with those deep blue eyes. I want to put my hands through his black hair and make love to him until we finally...''

Haruka: Stop it. You made that up. No one in their good mind would write something like that.

Mamoru: Yes they did!

Michiru: What's all that yelling about. Haruka, are you teasing our future king again?

Mamoru: Ah finally someone who supports me, Kaioh Michiru!

Michiru: I don't know what's happening right now but there's a letter for you Chiba-san.

Mamoru: A fan letter. Right on time.

Haruka: (takes the letter from Michiru before Mamoru gets the chance.) Let me read that. You useless cape boy. This isn't a fan letter. It's a preview of a fanfic.

Mamoru: Who are they pairing my to?

Haruka: The ground. This is a ReiUsagi love story. (She now turns to Michiru) Did you know some people like to see you in love with our princess?

Michiru: Yes. I did read some stories. I actually like the way they justify our reason to be together. Ofcourse I'm terribly sorry that I'm cheating on you in those stories, Ruka.

Haruka: I might need a defense story if this continues.

Michiru: Don't worry. They are just stories. They pair you to Usagi and Seiya all the time.

Haruka: Pair me to Usagi and...... I'm going to kill someone. There's no sick way I would ever fall for that alien. There's not even one slight thing in the anime or manga hinting I would even touch that Seiya with one finger! Hell would seem like a nice vacation compared to kissing those alien lips.

Minako: There we go again.

So there you have it people. My second defense. I bet it was too good for all of you to even find a lousy excuse to ever write me off as a fool again. And if I still haven't proven my point I suggest all of you watch episode 200 of sailor moon and look at the last scene of the episode. Yes, the one where I kiss Usagi under the full moon. It was Naoko's wish for us two to have a happy ending. And if there would be another season I'm sure we would be happy in that one too. After I get kipnapped and rescued ofcourse.

The End

I did not mean to offend anyone with this chapter. I think if someone's offended it should be Mamoru. And I know he's just a character and not real. But that doesn't change the fact he sucks.