{~| Amnesia Affairs |~}
[|:|]
I… don't know what it is about that girl. She swears we've never met and why would she lie about that? What? Did I just get my attraction for her mixed up with whatever it might feel like to remember something? She was pretty, really pretty… but not extraordinary, not supermodel gorgeous so why did she strike me as so much more? Goddamn it all. I hate being confused. I can take anger, I can take joy, I can take boredom, I just cannot take confusion. It reminds me too much of the start…
I don't remember the first few months after I woke up from my nearly month long coma, it's all just a blur. I know my dad was there, I figure my mom and brother were around, but other than that nada. It's annoying, really… no, gods, I told myself I wasn't going to think about that anymore. I grew up in Tokyo, I went to an all boy boarding school from elementary school to high school where I got into the same academy that my father had gone to, and then I went to Tokyo University. What more do I need to know?
Did I ever have a girlfriend? Other than the friends that have came forward after my accident how many others are out there? Was I a loner? A loser? Was I the cool guy in the school—I'm inclined to think that way.
Damn it. I should really be out in the countryside meeting up with my fiancée; she's waiting for me but… I'm just not feeling it. I really like her, she's nice, she's sweet, she's fun loving, but she's very old fashion, too. That's why I can be sitting in my dark living room alone without a care of my fiancée walking in.
I live alone in my apartment, even though we're engaged we won't move in together until after we get married. We've never had sex, either, we've been together over a year now and not once because she wants to wait until marriage and… because of that, she loves me all the more because, guess what?
I honestly just don't give a damn. She's really beautiful—I think I've mentioned that a thousand times already—and I'm sure I'd love to go all the way with her but… I don't know, I'm just not inclined to bother with that stuff. I think that hit in the head after the car crash messed something up in my head because… I've just never been interest in that. I wonder, before I got hit in the head was I a sex addict? Did I do it with just any pretty thing? Did I just have one girlfriend? Did I ever do it? I figure I wasn't a virgin when I got in that accident. I mean, I was twenty-seven, it would have been pathetic if I've never… now I'm almost thirty-three and getting married for the first time.
I wonder… if we'll have kids, do I want any? I don't think she really wants them and I don't care myself. My older brother Sesshomaru has two with his with Kagura, his daughter is who he obviously—well, as obvious as he can—doted over the most, little Rin. She's cute, I like her. They just had a son, Jin, so the Toashi family name is safe. My father won't pressure us into having kids if we don't want to, I'm sure.
That woman… why did she always look so broken? Why did she jump whenever I touched her? Maybe she's just damaged, yeah, that's probably it… but then where does this voice come from? The one that's been beckoning me ever since I saw her, or am I just making this shit up?
"Inuyasha! Stop! I swear! I want to study, OK? Back off!"
"Sit! Sit! Sit! You are driving me crazy, Inuyasha, please just sit down if you are going to stay here! Or leave, I need to study for the exam tomorrow. I know you don't care about that type of stuff but I do!"
"Fine, fine, shush, Kagome, settled down."
I keep hearing her voice… study? Did we go to school together? No, damn, I'm just making it up. My minds just playing tricks on me, it knows I want to remember stuff so I'm just clinging to her and adding her voice into vague scenarios. That's it… that's all. Still, I couldn't help but flip the piece of plastic around in my hand over and over again as I swirled a glass of brandy in my other hand.
It's nothing… she's nothing. Hell, she said so herself.
.{.x.o.x.}.
Air in, air out, air in, air out… it's as easy as that. Gods, it's ridiculous, really, pathetic actually. I'm Toashi Inuyasha for fuck's sake. I deal with the most vicious businessmen day in and day out but just standing in front of the wooden door made me shake like a little child. Why? It was like déjà vu to the extreme—as if I knew the door. The golden numbers upon it, 319, matched the little blue, warn, piece of plastic perfectly.
I took another breath as I lifted it up to look at it, Tsukino Kagome—that was her full name? It was a pretty name… a really pretty name. I don't know why but I couldn't read that enough. Right below it was her address, so she lived in Kyoto? I've never been but I've heard good things. My fiancée has been wanting to come here but then business kept popping up to get in my way. Now what?
Now I'm here, in Kyoto, but not for my fiancée… but because while I was playing tug-of-war with Tsukino Kagome I ripped off the identification tag in case the luggage ever got lost. It had her name, her phone number, and her address so it could be returned to her. I hadn't noticed I was holding it until the train doors were closed. I had planned on throwing it away as I walked back to the car that once again was waiting for me but I couldn't, it was glued to my hand and each time I tried to let go of it my fingers gripped it all the more.
The address, the name, her face, it was all so… so something! Some familiar? Was it familiar? Or did I just want it to be?
I'm fucking crazy. Why the hell am I standing in front of her door? I've been doing it for fifteen minutes now and I have yet to find the will power to knock. What would she think? That I'm a loony case and call the cops? I'd certainly freak out if someone that I met the day before in Tokyo followed me all the way back to Kyoto.
Gods, no, I took a step away, I need to leave. I need to stop thinking like this. I… I…
"Inuyasha?" the most awe-struck voice I've ever heard called out to me. It was such a familiar voice that I couldn't help but turn my head.
.{.x.o.x.}.
"It is you!" The man gawked with the greatest grin as he hurried down the hallway; he almost hugged the stunned silver haired man but stopped himself. "Wh-What are you doing here?"
That was the golden question, wasn't it? Inuyasha hadn't the faintest clue, really, but that went for the short black haired man before him, too. Violet eyes, some golden earrings, an athletic build… nope, it didn't ring a bell—not loud enough, at least. "Do… I know you?"
"It's me, Miroku," he sighed, of course it would be too good to be true that Inuyasha would just appear like everyone had been hoping for years with all his memories back and ready to start where he left off. That all their lives would be normal again but, hey, at least he was here finally, right? "What are you doing here?"
Miroku… Miroku, he just shook his head as his golden gaze glanced to the number 319, his brows furrowed, what was he doing there?
"Kagome's not home," Miroku wearily warned, "she's on vacation and won't be back until late Thursday night."
"Oh," why'd he sigh when he heard that? Wait, he turned all the way to see the man named 'Miroku', "how do you know I'm here to see her?"
"Well… you are standing in front of her door," Miroku had to state the obvious as he nodded to door, "do you remember her?"
"Why… why would I?"
He couldn't help but frown at that.
"How do I know you?"
"We were college roommates, for three years… you don't remember that at all?"
"Oh," now that made sense, "sorry, I got in an accident a while back and ever since my memories been on the fritz. We went to Tokyo U together? Did Kagome go there to?" Was that how he knew her? Just a college friend? Maybe not even a friend, just a girl he knew from a class or two?
"Tokyo U?" Miroku mused with a cocked brow, "no, no, we went to Kyoto University."
"No," Inuyasha dragged out, "no, I went to Tokyo U. I have a degree from Tokyo U."
"I… don't know how you would," Miroku said with ample space between each of his words, "we went to Kyoto University."
"You have me mistaken for someone else, then," Inuyasha spat out with some spite as he took a step away from the man. "I went to Tokyo U."
"I have photos of us back in college, I even have some campus newspapers that have articles about us in it… if you'd like I'd be more than willing to show them to you," he remembered full well the threat that Inutaisho gave but he had only ever given it to Kagome and her family. Sango and him had always wanted to help but Kagome kept getting in the way, begging them not to and how could they refuse her? Especially when she started to cry?
They just bit their tongues and did everything they could to make things easier for their dear friend. They even went so far as to move into the same apartment complex so that they'd always be close if she needed them. Not that that was much of a sacrifice, really, since they knew the landlord, old lady Kaede, and got a great deal on rent because of it.
"O… OK," what was the worst that could happen? Miroku was wrong? Or… maybe he was right?
He followed the man down the stairs to the second floor then through the hallway until they got to the door he had a key for, he let Inuyasha walk in first to their humble abode. From the decorations, furniture, and array of pictures upon the walls he could tell they were upper middle class and happy with what they had. He couldn't help but migrate over to the wall of photos as Miroku wondered out of the room. There was a pretty brunet in all the pictures, it must have been his wife, they had their wedding picture on the table beside him—she was a very attractive woman, he couldn't help but notice. Then there was a series of three baby photos, two were always together and as the series of photos went on and they got older he could tell they were a set of female twins—adorable little girls—who apparently had a little brother that was two or three years younger.
They were a happy, complete, family… where did that pang of envy come from?
"That's my wife, Sango," Miroku declared when he reentered the living room, Inuyasha had picked up another wedding photo to look it over closer. His eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing… next to Miroku was… him? In a tux, smiling? And next to Sango was… Kagome, in a breathtaking blue bridesmaid dress? Smiling brighter than the sun?
"And that's you and Kagome, she was Sango's maid of honor, you were my best man, but you don't remember that at all, huh?" Miroku muttered some as he sat down on the couch and opened the box he had. He waited patiently until Inuyasha processed what he said enough that he could set the frame down and slowly walk over to sit next to Miroku on the bed.
"Here," Miroku apparently had separated out some photos into piles and began to hand him a stack. "These are all the ones I have with you in it."
He took a deep breath before he nodded and began through them. He looked either perfectly happy in all the photos or pissed off, some of them he was trying to take the camera from whoever was shooting but… but there were enough that he could figure out where they were—a few had it written on the buildings they stood in front of, Kyoto University.
Some were taken in what appeared to be a dorm room that looked like it was theirs, guy stuff was all about, and then a few others were in a females room… Sango and Kagome were in a lot of them, too, and a great majority had him and Kagome hanging over each other—sometimes in a loving matter, sometimes like friends that were just messing around would do, and a lot where of them fighting with each other.
A smile came to his face and he didn't know why.
"You and Kagome met before any of us, freshmen year, then the rest of us got together as a group," he explained as he pulled out the newspaper cutouts he promised he still had and handed them to him.
Reluctantly, Inuyasha took them and slowly read over them. Apparently they were active in some extracurricular thing called Warring States Hunt were groups of five went on searches for items, it was like a scavenger hunt and apparently just for fun. They did pretty well, they won the whole thing the second year by beating a guy name Naraku, who came in second place, and finding all the shards to a jewel and being able to resemble it. The tricky part, the article said, was when they had to be able to steal the shards from other groups that had already collected them.
Why couldn't he remember any of this?
"Wait," he set the cutouts down, "wait, it says Tsukino Inuyasha," why did his heart skip a beat? "I'm… I'm Toashi Inuyasha, my father's name is Toashi, my family's name… it's Toashi."
"Right… but you took on your mother's maiden name," Miroku spoke slowly, he was well aware from the fright in his friend's eyes that this was a great deal of information to take in at once. From what Kagome had told him of the situation—which was little, but he couldn't pry, she was so upset about the whole thing anyway—Inutaisho had told Inuyasha lies upon lies about his life.
"My mother's maiden name is Sugari… she's Sugari Shiori."
"No," Miroku murmured, "that's your father's wife, I suppose your step-mother, but your mother's name was Tsukino Izayoi. You grow up here in Kyoto with her… you never really knew your father until the accident happened and he suddenly showed—"
"No," Inuyasha protested quickly as he shot up and walked away, a hand on his waist, his other on his forehead, "no. You're lying… you are… full of shit."
"I'm sure this is hard but I'm not…"
"What were you even doing upstairs?" He sped as he turned around to look at Miroku, he couldn't take it… he just couldn't so he had to change the subject, he had to lash out.
"I went to make sure Tadao is alright. While Kagome's away on her vacation I promised I'd take care of him."
His heart sank to his stomach at the prospect… "wh… Who's Tadao?"
"Your dog," and just like that his shoulders sagged, "Kagome always wanted one but you refused over and over again until you guys got married and moved into the apartment complex. You got her the puppy for her birthday. His pretty old now but since he's such a little thing that he'll live forever," Miroku laughed a little, "and Kagome dotes over him, she takes really good care of him. He's a bichon frise, those things can live to nineteen."
"Oh…" he grumbled as he began to walk around again, he just couldn't help it, he had to ask, "why not bring him here?"
"Saburo, my youngest, has a bit of a dog allergy or else we'd do that, Tadao is really great with kids."
"I… I have to go," Inuyasha decided, that was the best to do, he couldn't take this… his brain was on overload, it was about to explode…
"Where to?"
"I…" he didn't know but as he opened the front door to a woman with a toddler in her arm, a grocery bag in her other, and two little four or five year old girls carry a very small bag in their hands as they sped around his legs into the house, shouting for their daddy.
.{.x.o.x.}.
Sango… she just stared at me like I was a ghost. Her son kept trying to get into the bag she was holding as she stood there still until he gave up and yanked on his mommy's loose ponytail instead. That snapped her out of her daze and the like yip she gave allowed me to blink finally and move out of her way so she could enter and set the boy down.
"Da," he wobbled over to his father who was helping the twins with their little bags of groceries, which they were really proud of how much they helped 'mommy'.
"Saburo," Miroku smiled as he knelt down to pick him up like he wanted, "Inuyasha, this is Saburo, and these are my daughters, Akiko and Akira," he placed a hand on whichever girl was named what. Honestly, I can't tell the difference. I don't think I'll remember any of their names anyway.
"Inu… yasha," Sango stuttered finally, gaining my weak attention, "you… you're here? Do you remember…?"
"Not a thing," I assured quickly, "I need to go… to think about this," I glanced to Miroku over that one and he nodded.
"Let me give you my phone number, in case you have any questions," he suggested before I had a chance to really move. It was easier for me to just stand there like a fool and stare at the floor, I just… there was just… too much going on.
"Hello," Akiko and Akira greeted in their cheerful little way as they hopped into my line of sight.
"Uh, hi?" I'm not good with kids, I've never really tried but still… even with little Rin I don't know what to say. Then again, maybe if it was a boy?
"You a friend of daddy?" Akiko inquired the best a four—maybe five?—year old could with a tilt of her head.
No? Yes? Maybe? I looked up to Miroku to see Sango whispering something to him with furrowed brows and folded arms. Miroku just kept smiling and nodding to whatever his wife was worried about as he wrote down a number and came over to hand it to me before I had to actually answer his kid.
"Thanks," I guess I muttered as I flipped the paper around in my hand. This just… this just wasn't happening. Was… everything really a lie?
"Good day, Hiroshis!" A beaming, boastful, beautiful voice beckoned as the door opened, "I'm back early, guys, so don't worry about Tadao." I knew the voice, I lost my breath, I knew who was behind me but I couldn't turn around.
"Kagome…" Sango coaxed.
I could hear her inhale swiftly; I imagine she noticed I was here…
What do I know?
Those photos prove Kagome and I knew each other, that we were at least good friends if nothing else.
If… if my last name was Tsukino… and her last name is Tsukino…? She's not my sister, we look nothing alike, she smells nothing like me, so that makes her what…?
"Auntie Kagome!" The twins shrieked as they stampeded their way past me and to—what sounds like—smack right into her, I assume to hug her since they were giggling so much.
I couldn't help it, my heart sped so fast I was sure it was about to pop right out of my chest. It was calling for me to do one thing—turn around.
.{.x.o.x.}.
The air she had gasped in seemed to have solidified in her throat, there was simply no way she could find a way to release it or even speak… he—how? How could he be in her friend's home? Did… did seeing her make him remember his way home? Well, not really… but, no, that just couldn't be it. Sango and Miroku didn't move into their current apartment until Akiko and Akira were one, after Inuyasha was gone…
When he turned around her whole universe seemed to implode, he just had this look on his face. There was no smile, no 'I remember' look of joy, nothing but confound contorted confusion tattooed across him. What was she supposed to say? What if Inutaisho finds out he was there…?
"Hi…" Inuyasha was the first to speak, that was the safest and only thing he could come up with.
"Hi…" she gagged over her own word, finally freeing her throat.
"Maybe you two should talk?" Miroku suggested only to be swiftly smacked in the shoulder by the ever so stern faced Sango.
Kagome couldn't, no matter how much she'd like to, so she simply shock her head and looked away.
"We know each other," Inuyasha surmised and his eyes flickered over to the array of photos upon the table, "but… you said we didn't."
"How did you…? Why are you…?" What was it that kept her from finishing any of her sentences?
"Did I," he paused some before he looked back to the pretty yet perplexed woman, "do something? To you? Is that it…?"
Her hazels snapped back to him, no, never… he was a good husband, he was annoying as hell a majority of the time, he irked her a lot, but when it mattered he just barely managed to act his age and helped her with whatever the problem was. Money wasn't easy for them at first, since they were newlyweds and recent college grads but they got by and after the first two years they both got paid enough that they were satisfied with their lifestyle. In three they thought it might be time to start on that family they both yearned for, and wouldn't they make fine parents?
Granted, they were immature at times but for a child they could act properly and they both really wanted it. Too bad Inuyasha's sperm was apparently lazy and Kagome's eggs were elitists that reject most of the applicants… even though it would be a miracle for them to conceive that didn't stop them, they kept trying and eventually—a mere month before the accident—decided to make an appointment at a clinic that could help them with their problem. They could afford it, they'd find a way to…
"How about you two talk?" Miroku kept up, again only to be slapped by Sango, they had a very quick and quiet—almost as if they weren't really talking but just moving their hands and mouths but somehow they understood each other—tiff before Miroku walked over to Inuyasha, his eyes still wearily on his wrath filled wife. "In private, of course, we have a guest room you two could go to…"
"I'd like that," Inuyasha sped without really thinking. Kagome pressed her lips together and didn't say anything but still they ended up down the hallway and in that guest room. Alone. "Tsukino Kagome…" he started with all he could think of…
"Please," she whispered swiftly as she turned on her heels to look at him, her hands clasped, "I can't… I can't do this. Does your father know you're here?"
"What does that matter?" Inuyasha inquired with a raised brow.
"Please, just… you have to leave and… you can't tell him you've be… been here," though, there was truly nothing she wanted more in that very moment than to reach out and cup that cutely confound face in her hands and kiss his lips but she couldn't… she had to think of her family, of what Inutaisho had proven he was more than capable of destroying.
"Why?" Inuyasha couldn't help but take a step forward as his brows bent together, "why do you seem so scared of my father?"
"I…" wanted to tell him everything, she wanted him to be able to protect her, but where did his loyalties lie now? With his father, right? So if she told him of all her father had said then wouldn't he just listen to him? Wouldn't he think his father had done whatever he thought best for his son? If only Izayoi was still alive, if only she hadn't died a year before the car accident, then she would have been able to get through to her son. None of this would have happened, she was a beautiful and strong woman—how Kagome envied her—she could take on Inutaisho, she always did. He had threatened quiet a few times to use that horde of bastard attorneys to win full custody of Inuyasha and never allow her to see him but she always stood tall, she always stared him down until he was gone.
She always won… if only Kagome knew her trick. No, she knew it, even though Inutaisho would never admit it he loved Izayoi more than his wife, even though he caused her constant angst, he could never take the one thing that gave her life meaning away from her—at least, that's what Izayoi always told Kagome when she reminisced about all the times Inutaisho came to visit. Of course, Inuyasha hated to hear of his dear mother talking about that 'bastard'.
"Please," he began meekly as he took another step and raised his hands to cup her face but they floated above her skin, he could never bring himself to close the gap. "Please, I really… I really want to remember you."
Wasn't this what she wished for just a few days ago? She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes before she took a deep breath and a step forward to close an entirely different gap—the one between their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck, she just couldn't help herself, she had missed him so much. Maybe this wasn't the best thing to do, it would probably be better to take him back to the apartment that they shard since they graduated from college and show him the video of their wedding, to show him all their home videos that they made for no real reason, to show him their pictures and so much more but she just… just couldn't help herself. She wanted this more.
He could have pushed her away but he didn't and not a fragment of him wanted to, instead everything told him to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her body against his, to kiss her back and close his eyes. There was just a spark of something within him, something he'd never felt before for any woman he met. Their lips parted for the other and as if it was an old habit, as if they were simply made to fit together, their lips mingled, their tongues tangled and they made the most fumbled steps about until the back of his legs hit the bed and she pressed against him just enough to mistakenly lose their balance and wind up right there. She was on top of him as her fingers grasped a chunk of his silver strands and his hands rummaged their way down the back of her blouse to her bottom.
The next thing they knew shirts had been unbuttoned and discarded, a skirt was hiked up and a zipper parted but that was as far as it got before one of them found sense enough to push away and fling her hair out of her face all while gasping for the air that had been refused to her lungs for far too long.
"What?" He breathlessly inquired, finally opening his eyes to see a sight that felt so familiar. Her stationed above his rather perky region, her skirt up her hips, and her bra showing, still, she wasn't extraordinary, she wasn't some goddess creature, but to him she was—he was starting to think he knew why, too.
"Wait," she replied once she swallowed back the desire, "we can't… this is Sango and Miroku's guestroom. I just… can't. There are children outside and—"
"I really get the feeling that Miroku guy won't give a damn," he just had to point that out. She gave him the cutest little pout but her hands did leave her ebony waves to his chest, he raised his to greet them. Still, she shook her head. "Alright," he sighed as he sat up but refused to let her leave his lap—not that she made any sign of wanting that—instead their eyes just remained locked before he kissed her again, not ready to let this chance pass and well… she had tried, right?
She'd tell herself that later if it turned out to be a terrible mistake.
Clothes were cast aside, sheets pushed away, bodies crashed together to fuse into one, hearts synced just as their movements did—just like old times—and moaned, declarations of love were made in their silent yet frantic frenzy.
.{.x.o.x.}.
"That was a mistake," she spared no time to tell me after we were finished and found our way back down from the heavens we had temporarily departed to. If it was such a mistake why were our legs still tangled? Why was she still in my arms gently drawing designs upon my bare chest? Why did I get the feeling she didn't want me to let her go?
"Sure," I replied all the same as I closed my eyes and dug my nose in her finely scented hair.
"How'd you… find your way here?"
"I kinda yanked off your ID tag thingy on your luggage by mistake," I muttered back.
"Oh," she sighed, "that makes sense…"
"You sound disappointed," yet she didn't say anything in reply, "if… I am to believe I chose to go by Tsukino Inuyasha all my life… and your ID tag says Tsukino Kagome—"
"It's Higurashi Kagome," she sped, "I've just had that suitcase forever and never bothered to change it back."
I smiled all the same, that sort of answered that, "then… we were married at one point and lived in this apartment complex together?"
I seemed to have flustered her, she finally pulled away from me to prop herself upon on her arm and look down at me, I think she was trying her very best to come up with a reply since she opened her mouth a few times but always closed it. "I'm right, aren't I? Why not just tell me that…? Why'd we divorce? Did I do something? Is that why you are acting like this? Was—?"
"No," she assured me weakly as she looked away, "no…"
"Then for the love of everything holy please enlighten me on all this shit," I requested rather rudely, I know, but I couldn't help it, everything was so boggled in my brain that I'm not even sure it functions right anymore. "I mean, that guy tells me I went to Kyoto University not Tokyo U. That I grew up in Kyoto instead of Tokyo. That my real mother's name was Izayoi and it's not Shiori and that… gods, I can't deal with this," I covered my eyes with my hand, "this is just too much… if it's true, why would my father ever lie? Why'd he lie about all this?"
I felt her lips upon my forehead and somehow for that moment I knew everything would be alright, but that assurance left when her lips did. She took my hand into hers as dragged it down so I'd have to look at her, which I was still more than willing to do. I'd look at her nude all day every day, it was quiet the sight. Though, that skirt had never fully been removed—much to my regret right now, but we were just in the moment so much that it would have been far too much work to pry it off. It was kind of sexy to see her in just that—wait, that's not the point.
"Tell me, Kagome," I muttered with a frown and… she smiled, sweetly, softly, and nodded before she did just that. I swear, if anyone else told me all she did my brain would have melted but somehow hearing it all from her lull of a voice it seemed like I could take it…
My name was Tsukino Inuyasha. I grew up with my very much real mother, Tsukino Izayoi, in Kyoto since I was two because it became apparent to my mother that my father would never leave his wife, Shiori. That'd just ruin everything. Shiori had been from a well off family that contributed far too much to the Toashi company and Izayoi was just a seamstress from a humble background but she was fine with it, she loved me very much and moved us to her hometown to raise me alone. My father sometimes came by to see how I've grown, maybe once or twice every four years. I apparently disliked him—hated him even—a great deal.
I guess this would explain why Sesshomaru hated me so and why Shiori always gave me that odd look like she could just barely stand me.
I got into Kyoto University and her and I met within the first month. She laughed as she told me how we couldn't stand each other at first but we had almost every class together so we couldn't avoid each other, either. She still thought I was cute and made an effort to be nice. I apparently made none back but somehow she found that attractive and even when we didn't like each other we couldn't stay away. By the end of the first semester we became friends, by the end of the first year we were lovers, by graduation we were engaged.
I was married to her for four years… if all of this was a lie wouldn't something inside of me tell me that? Instead, I felt like it was all familiar, all right, I couldn't remember a damn thing about it, but I believed it.
I had to stop her when she got to the part about my car crash, "wait, we were still married?"
"Very much," through the story she had gained back her normal voice—well, I think it is, I can't say for certain. She spoke with a smile and as if she was comfortable around me again.
"Then… how is it that we aren't married? Did you leave me?"
"What?" Wow, the way her brows bent instantly and her voice shrieked, not to mention that glare... I guess the very idea deeply insulted her, "of course not!"
"Sorry," I muttered.
"That's when," she bit the side of her bottom lip before looking away, "your dad came. I don't know why all of sudden he wanted you to be part of his family again but… he did and assured me I hadn't any place in it anymore. I'm not from some high society bloodline, I'm the first one in my family to ever go to college… we've never met but he just didn't like me at all. He made me divorce you and took you away, telling you a bunch of lies in the process!"
"Made you?" I mocked as I pulled away from her and sat up, "how can he make you divorce me? What? Did he pay you?"
"No!" She shouted once more as she sat up and actually hit me in the shoulder, "how dare you say something like that!"
"How could he make you then!"
"Your father is a very powerful man and he threatened my family! He said he'd remove my grandpa from the hospital he was in at the time, that he'd have them deny his medical coverage, and then my mom would be in debt and he'd get her kicked out of her new home here in Kyoto. He said that he'd withdraw the scholarship that my little brother was using to get through college. Without that he could never finish and even if he could take out enough loans he swore he'd have Souta kicked out for academic fraud or something awful like that. That's not even the worst of it!"
Somehow… that didn't surprise me. My father could tear apart his enemies and if he thought Kagome was just that… he'd be able to do all that and more, I'm sure.
"Inuyasha," she took the side of my face farthest from her in her soft hand and yanked me to look at her. Any anger that might have been festering in me died right then, she had such a pleading, painful look upon her face that I wanted to pull her to me and kiss her all over again. "I never wanted to do that… There's nothing I've wanted more than have you here with me. I always wanted to go find you… It killed me the other day to pretend like we were strangers but… he said if I ever tried to make contact with you that he'd… he'd…" tears were actually forming in her eyes, I couldn't take that, I pulled her into my arms and held her ever so tight.
"It's OK," I promised. "I'll make everything alright… Kagome, I really don't remember any of this," I could feel her start to sob, gods, I really hate it when women cry, "but this feels really right to me all the same. If you could put up with it… if you—ah," how could I not think of this before? "You aren't married or something now, right? Higurashi's your maiden name, right? You don't have a boyfriend or somethin'?"
"Would I be in bed with you right now if I did?" She protested but didn't bother to lift her head from my chest, "you really mustn't remember me if you think I'd do something like that!"
"OK, OK," this woman was sensitive, jeez, or maybe I'm just an ass? Eh, whichever, whatever. "Anyways, if you'd put up with me will you… help me remember all this? I want to stay with you. I really do. I swear I'll take care of my father. I won't let him do a damn thing to hurt your family. I swear. I'll protect you." Nothing ever before had felt so right that those words—I'll protect you. I've never felt so compelled to do such a thing but for her I really did. I had to protect her.
A while passed before she looked up at me to kiss me and I took the lead to not let her lips leave mine, I'm took this as a 'yes', too, and flip her onto her back. She sort of pushed me away but then pulled me back, I really enjoyed this…
Finally, I yanked that A-line skirt off of her only for hands to cover my eyes, "what?"
"I need… I need," she took a deep breath, "there's more. I need to tell you something really important. The most important thing in all the world."
"OK," I pulled her hands away and looked up to her worry written face, "what?"
She took my face into her hands to keep me looking at just hers.
"There really… isn't a way to say this and not have it blow your mind so I'm just going to say it as straight up as possible."
"Please do," I insisted. Really, after everything she said what could she say that would blow my mind?
She moved her lips a few times like she meant to say something but it took a few tries before she just blurted it all, "I was pregnant when you got into that car crash but I didn't know it until you were in your coma! We have a son. He's four."
Fuck me… she managed to blow my mind.
.{.x.o.x.}.
He sat at the bottom of the bed for some time, his shoulder sagged, his golden gaze locked to the carpet floor, some sheets piled in his lap, and if she didn't know any better she'd thought he was in a coma again but… that was a big life changing curve ball. She just held the rest of the sheets up her chest to cover herself, her eyes stuck on his back as she rested hers against the headboard and held her knees up to her chest. How would he take it?
That was really the deal breaker for their marriage, ironic, wasn't it? Inutaisho figured out she was pregnant, she guessed he was trying to dig up dirt on her to convince her to divorce Inuyasha but none of his threats had worked yet—wasn't that sort of awful of her? She thought so at the time. But… she didn't really think he could do all those awful things to her family—well, she did but… but Inuyasha was her husband! The love of her life. She really meant their vows, 'til death do they part, through sickness and health, through hardships and all the rest! She wasn't going to leave him then, no, not when he'd need so much help. He'd need physical therapy, a shoulder to lean on, he'd need her.
And as his wife, she had to be there.
"You're pregnant," Inutaisho had stated after he cornered her in another room in the hospital, "how can you raise a child and take care of an amnesia stricken, physically disabled, husband?"
She couldn't find a way to reply to that at all, damn whatever doctor or nurse looked at her files and told him that! Stupid greedy bastard.
"There's a good chance the pregnancy will have complications," he assured her as he placed his hand on the wall right by her head, his fiery golden gaze that was so much like his sons yet completely different shot an arrow right through her heart. "You never know these days… some of the things that people drink or eat… it's just not good for pregnant woman."
She had shakily cocked an eyebrow at him, was he threatening her somehow? That somehow he'd make her lose the baby? The longer he stood there staring at her the more she believed it… could he do that? Would he do that? Could he really…?
"And if by chance you carry the child to term… don't you see how Inuyasha's clinging to me? His father, his blood, what if I tell him of all your infidelities? All of your terrible habits? What if I remind him what an awful wife you are? How cruel you have been to him? What if my lawyers make a case of how you'd be an unfit mother and my son would be better suited to take care of the child? Full time, then you'd never see this child of yours…"
"You… you… you can't do that, Inuyasha… I'm… I'm a good wife," she stuttered as she felt her knees buckle below her.
He did nothing but shrug a shoulder, "but he won't remember that, will he? And who will he be more inclined to believe? His father, his blood, or you? Someone he's only bound by words with?"
"It's more than words!" She cried.
"But he doesn't remember that, not even a little bit," he assured, "you divorce Inuyasha and you and your child will be fine. You ever try to find Inuyasha after the divorce is final and I will take that child from you, one way or another."
And that was it… he won. Somehow, four years were erased with a few signatures and a speedy process that lasted only days before she was officially Higurashi Kagome again.
The sudden movement from the end of the bed brought her back to the now as she watched Inuyasha walk about to relocate all his clothes, "wh… where are you going?"
"To kill him!"
"What?" She gasped as she moved to her knees and let the sheets go.
"How dare my father threaten my child like that! Or you for that matter! I'll kill him!"
She sighed, "oh… but, that's just going to make things a lot worse if you end up in jail…"
That got him to stop and glare at her when he finally found his boxers but just as quickly as it came his furry faded as he stared down her body. It took her a while before she figured it out and grasped a chunk of sheets to cover her stomach.
"Kagome…" he whispered as he dropped everything and crawled back onto the bed to yank at the sheets, "what happened?"
"It's… a scar."
"Keh, I figured as much," he grumbled, she couldn't help but smile that sounded just like him, "I mean how'd you get the scar?"
She hated it… but she let him take the sheets so he could move his fingers across the curved line at the bottom of her stomach. "There… were a lot of complications… with the pregnancy. It was all really scary," she had to admit as she pressed her lips together, he looked from the mark up to her watery eyes, "in the end more things went wrong and I had to have a c-section… Inuyasha, I wanted you there the whole time." She grasped her hands around the one of his that still lingered by her gut.
"Kagome," he hushed as he pulled her into an embrace again so she could let out the tears that had built up from all those memories, "I love you… I really do, I don't remember all the reasons why, but I know that much."
"I love you, too," she meekly murmured, "I really do."
"I'll make sure everything's fine, just… trust me."
"I do."
.{.x.o.x.}.
I spent three days with her, I destroyed my phone after all Kagome told me just so my father couldn't get a hold of me. I knew he'd figure out where I was, he'd check to see that I bought a ticket to Kyoto and put the rest together. Fine, I'll be waiting for him to show up. That stupid fucker, I'm gonna kill him… though, Kagome keeps telling me not to do that so I might not… for her sake.
She showed me a ton of home movies all the while showing me pictures. For the first day it was all from my childhood and our time in college. My mother was a very pretty woman and I did start to remember a few things here and there—I think I recall my mother's voice. I remember she cried a lot when I was a kid, I guess that's why I hate to see woman cry, huh?
The second day I saw our wedding tape, I found another that was marked 'honeymoon X' and we argued for a long while—it felt great, it felt so right to bicker with her, like we'd done it a million times—until I turned it on anyway. She tried her best to turn it off but I wrapped her in my arms and kicked the remote far away from us so she couldn't get to it. Apparently, I was kinda a perv 'cause I somehow convinced her into tapping a few of our 'private' honeymoon moments. Needless to say, after watching some of that we got reacquainted with the bed that we apparently shared throughout our married life. The way it sort of squeaked every once and a while when I was thrusting into her seemed so right… and so did she, really, really right.
After that minor setback, on the third day, she finally showed me all the huge amount of photos and home movies she had of Hisao—my son… My son, Hisao. I have a son name Hisao… it's still hard to grasp. I still lose my breath at the thought but looking at all the pictures, from when he was in a container at the hospital because he was premature—gods, it killed me to see the pain on her face when she talked about that, she was so scared… so alone, there's nothing in the world that I want more than to turn back time so I could have been with her all the while. Fucking fathers, I swear I'll never get in Hisao way like mine did. Damn bastard, it's all his fucking fault—no, I'm not going to bother with that right now.
Let's talk about Hisao, he's freakin' adorable if I do say so myself. He's kinda a runt, but he's apparently really smart. Kagome gloats about the constantly, he must have gotten it from her but his looks are all me. He has the same ambers I do, the same silver mane, but not the same ears, he's got his mother's ears. Which is fine by me, he's only a quarter demon, it's typical they don't show the same traits.
He wears glasses, big, cute, glasses. Kagome said she had bad eyesight when she was a kid but she grew out of it and she thinks Hisao will, too. She videotaped everything, his first bath at home when he was just a bald, giddy, little baby. His first time eating baby food, his first playtime with friends Akiko and Akira, his first steps, his first word, all his birthdays, everything. It took an entire day to watch it all and a great deal of the night… she said she did it just in case I ever came back, so I could still share the moments with her.
I really love this woman.
Finally, the fourth day came and still no sign of my father—that worries me a little—but that meant that Kagome's brother Souta returned from his vacation to Jeju island with his wife and kids. He took Hisao with him so he could play with his cousins at the beach and Kagome could have some time off, she apparently had never been away from Hisao for so long.
I could tell she was awfully worried about him, she called him three times a day. The first day I was around she was on the phone for a few hours talking to Souta about all that had happened—he offered to cut the vacation short and come home but Kagome thought I should see all the videos and stuff before I met Hisao, I guess she was right. We decided that it was best if Hisao found out about me when we could be face-to-face.
Hisao's a really perfect name for him, I had to congratulate her on that a few times and she openly accepted the compliment. It took her months to figure out the right name and then she found it—life story, Hisao. He was just that to me.
"Hisao," Kagome started in the sweetest hush of a voice as she stood behind him with her hands upon his shoulder, "this is your daddy, this is Inuyasha."
He just stared at me with his big eyes through those lenses for a long while, not a thing upon his face. I was nervous as hell as I knelt down in front of him, he was surely my kid. I knew it the moment I saw a picture but I was even more positive now that he was right in front of me. He looked from me up to his mom before back down.
"You are the man from all the pictures," he spoke very well for a kid that wasn't yet five. Then again, Kagome did mention he was a rather brilliant child.
"Yes, Hisao, he's from all the pictures," Kagome assured.
Apparently, she had never hidden the fact from Hisao that I was his father. She had shown him everything she had on me and even gave him a necklace that she had made for me back in college, purple beads with white claws, he wore it all the time, it was like his security blanket. She had always told him I was away but maybe someday I'd come back, that I really wanted to come back and be a family… she was really relieved that I showed up because he was starting to get smart enough not to let that be a valuable excuse.
"Where have you been?" he inquired almost sternly, the closest a child could get to it.
Erm, shit, what do I say? Away? I doubt he'd like that, "with my dad in Tokyo…"
"Why?"
I bit my bottom lip as I looked up to Kagome, wasn't she going to help me out here? "Because… he wouldn't let me come here and be with you."
"Why?"
Shit, I sighed as I looked back to him, "'cause he's an as—"
"He's not nice," Kagome sped as she knelt down, giving me the cruelest look. I guess I shouldn't curse around a kid, eh?
"Why?"
"I don't know," that was the truth and he seemed to take it. He nodded and seemed to actually be weighing his options before he moved away from the safety of his mother and wrapped his little arms around my neck.
It was the greatest moment of my entire life, hands down. I pulled him into a bear hug, trying my best to remember not to squeeze him too tightly.
"I furgive you," it was the first time I heard him mispronounce a word, my heart skipped a thousand beats.
"Thank you, Hisao," I whispered back, "thank you…"
"I've missed you…"
"I've missed you, too," even though I didn't know about him… there was a part of me that was always lost, always yearning for something, always beckoning me to do something I just never knew what… now I know what it wanted. It was this, to hold my son, to be with the woman that should be my wife still.
To be here, where I belong.
.{.x.o.x.}.
That wondrous time only lasted a day before Toashi Inutaisho finally showed up, much to both Kagome and Inuyasha's surprise he gave up quickly. He didn't try to justify his actions, he knew his son… he knew he was stubborn as hell and that he could never change his mind, not now. He had the gall to ask for forgiveness, Inuyasha refused, he was actually about to rip his father's throat out before Kagome intervened and looked Inutaisho in the eye.
"What you did is unforgivable," she assured him with a straight face and steady voice, "you took almost five years away from my son. That time he could have had a father all along. Izayoi could raise a little boy on her own, though," she added just to watch the great Inutaisho wince, "so I knew I could too but that doesn't make it easy… I can't forgive you. Only Hisao can."
"Kagome," Inuyasha protested as he tried to get her to move out of his way.
"Hisao has a grandmother but he doesn't have a grandfather," Kagome stated as she folded her arms, "the question is do you think you deserve to be his grandfather? Could you act the part? Could you treat him right? Could you make up for just a little of all you took from him?"
"Kagome," Inuyasha growled, "stop it, I don't want him in our life at all."
"That's fine," she looked over to him, candor craved into her façade, "you can choose not to allow him in your life anymore but Hisao has a right to know his grandfather if he wants. I think he'd like that a great deal."
"Kagome," Inuyasha kept up.
"After all I did? Particularly to you…?" Inutaisho dragged out with weariness and a brow arched, "you would allow that?"
"For Hisao, of course, I'm his mother. I have to do what's best for him, not me, no matter how much I might dislike you… you are still blood to him. Though," she stated with a grave amount of power, "if I think for even a second that you might ever do harm to him or try to take him away from Inuyasha or I," she shook her head with pressed lips, "you will severely regret that."
The man actually chuckled lightly, winning a deep growl from his son but not a flinch from Kagome, "you are…" he sighed, "just like Izayoi… I thought so, from the moment I met you at the hospital."
"Do you think you could be a good influence on Hisao or not?"
His face went blank for a bit as his eyes wondered all about Kagome's stern stance, "I would like to try… he is my grandson." The sight of the little boy at the park where he found his son and his ex-wife did something to him... it just shattered whatever will he had to take Inuyasha back. The child was small, far smaller than he thought any Toashi could be at the age of four, but he looked so precious all the same as he ran around with his large lenses and father chasing after him that... Inutaisho couldn't bring himself to think to take away from Inuyasha and Hisao what he never gave his own blood.
"Then you can," Kagome replied, "but slowly. Very slowly, and only under monitored visits until I think you can actually be trusted. That might never happen."
"I understand."
.{.x.o.x.}.
I don't get my wife, Tsukino Kagome, at all. How can she forgive that man after everything? She… is far stronger than I am. I suppose having a child and raising him for so long alone does that to a woman. I think that's how she always has been, too.
No, I know that. The longer I was around her, her family, and our friends the more I started to slowly remember. Within two years I remember a lot and welcomed the healthy birth of our daughter. Within four I had everything back and the greatest life any man could ask for with the prettiest wife, a brilliant still glasses wearing son, and a demi-diva daughter. Within eight I found a way, with Kagome's help, to forgive my father for everything. She had long ago let the grudge die, she's wonderful like that.
When all is said and done with my doctor still glasses wearing son, fashion designer daughter, and the greatest wife a man could have, I wouldn't trade my life for the world.
A/N: Thank you for reading AA! I hope you enjoyed it and please review.
REVISED: 12/4/10 for grammar/typos/etc