Wilson is mad at House and wants to make sure he won't pull any more stupid pranks. Post "safe," warnings for Wilson/ House slash, references to abuse, and some OOC and AU as always.

The apartment was dark. It was late, sometime after 3:00 am. He'd fallen asleep on the sofa. I straddled his waist, pulling the guy's clothes off. He made that little baby crying sound in his sleep, and then popped awake, the second I peeled his boxer shorts off.

"When was the last tie you took a shower," I asked. Greg giggled, and opened his mouth to make one of his jokes, but after the second or third yawn he started to actually look around. That's when he saw it. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" He swallowed hard. "Use your words," I instructed, picking up his cock, and playing with it a little.

"Barbeque lighter," he gasped, looking at the red, plastic tube in my hand. His pupils dilated to the size of nickels, beads of sweat gathering on his wrinkled brow. I brushed his tiny hair curls backwards.

"Yep, that's right," I exclaimed, playfully. "You're getting to be such a big boy. You can figure out the names of things just by looking at them. I've never been so proud in my whole life."

"What are you gonna do to me?" He stuttered on the words what, gonna and me. I smiled, pressing the button, and the tip lit up with a huge orange and blue flame. He gulped. I lowered the gas match, holding it a fraction of an inch above the soft, pale flesh of his belly. "I'm sorry, Jimmy." He continued to stammer.

"Why, what did you do wrong?" Greg's face was completely slick with sweat and every inch of his body had begun trembling. I stayed in place, pressing down on him even harder, as I waved the wand back and forth. I'd held it in one place for too long, and a patch of his skin (which I was now avoiding) was bright pink and smooth. Urine squirted from his penis.

"Well that for starters, and for not doing my chores, and for making you sit outside all afternoon, and putting your hand in a bucket of water, and eating your food without asking," he explained. I moved the lighter lower, allowing it to hover just above his genitals. "Jimmy, please," he begged.

"Jimmy, please," I mocked. Tears rolled down his cheeks. I heard a slight crackle, and the stench of piss and singed hair filled the room. I was careful to keep his body from actually catching fire though. "Do you have anything else to say?" He began to sob hysterically as the flames tickled against the tip of his cock.

"I—I'm sorry for being a jerk all the time and I promise to try harder and to be good for you." I flicked the lighter off and tossed it aside, patting him on the shoulder. Greg, who had been leaning forward, flopped back against the sofa cushions, and continued crying. I kissed his cheek and grabbed a random piece of his clothes, gently wiping the tears from his face.

"See," I explained, with more kisses. "I can play pranks on people too." His eyes, which had gone back to their normal size, opened all the way up again. He sniffled, pathetically.

"A prank?" I nodded. "So, you're not really mad at me?" I shook my head. "Then why'd you try to set me on fire?" I wrapped my fingers around his dick, examining it to make sure there wouldn't be any permanent damage.

"I didn't want to burn you. I just wanted to get back and you for making me pee in my bed. Which I did." More sobbing. "We're even, which means you and I can still be friends." His tears came to an instant half.

"Yeah," he said, with a small, fake smile. He'll be fine real soon, I thought. He's just a little freaked out right now. "We're okay."

"But no more jokes, okay, House? These pranks—if we keep going, one of us is going to end up getting hurt. Don't you agree?" He nodded, almost violently. "You can still mess with Cuddy, and your team, and anyone else, okay?" This made him much happier. "Now this couch is trash. So, tomorrow, we go out and buy a new one but until then, we share the bed. Sound good?"

"Yeah, I love sleeping with you, Jimmy. Maybe we can sleep in the bed every night together, if you like." I kissed him on the mouth, and we walked back to his room, our room, together.