Ello everybody! Angel here with the 1000 review reward fic for the awesome, sexy, wonderful, gorgeous, Reaper-Lawliet! who has been (I think) with Seven Little Killers since the beginning.

She wanted RussiaxChina and it being one of my OTP's, I birthed this monster. I hope you all can enjoy it.

I recommend you look up the songs "Stalker" by Goldfinger and "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga before you proceed.

Disclaimer: I own not.

Another world meeting had come to an end and already the People's Republic of China was pulling a Jackie Chan as he attempted to ninja his way out of the meeting room. All the nations, still arguing amidst the hustle of their exit, didn't notice the determined Asian making himself scarce behind a door. Hey, if Jackie could do it in all the Rush Hour movies, then so could he!

Carefully, China peeked his head out from around the edge of the door, watching the retreating backs of Germany, Japan and Italy. So far so good. There was no awful chill, and for once in a very long time, China allowed the dreaded, yet oh so good feeling of hope dominate his thoughts as he slinked out of the room.

"Think ninja~aru," he muttered to himself. He was the last nation in the house, and as his paranoid brown eyes swept the exquisite hallway of America's mansion in Washington, he allowed himself a light laugh. Today it might actually work! He might actually escape unscathed! Jackie Chan wasn't Chinese for nothing! However, his new found faith in his long forgotten ninja skills didn't stop him from ducking below window sills as he passed and practically diving across doorways.

Until he was back in Beijing, he was fair game for the horrid monster awaiting him.

Needless to say, by the end of the journey he had successfully winded himself and was left gasping with his hands on his knees. He came to the bitter conclusion he needed to work on his cardio a little more and looked down at his disheveled black suit. His boss wouldn't be pleased with his less than presentable appearance, but his safety was more important.

China was on his way to making a daring escape, and although he viewed himself as old, a bit of physical strain would be nothing compared to what he'd endure if his mission of invisibility failed. So what if he got a stern talking to from his boss about retaining his honor even in the face of terror? Or if he was going to regret all of his stunts in the morning when his back sent little shots of pain throughout his body?

In China's mind, heaven was a plane headed away from these insane people who when thrown in the same room accomplished nothing but breaking the sound barrier. Still, his boss told him that in order to establish his place as a world power, he first had to establish solid connections, friendships, and trade partners, particularly with America and a certain other nation that was going to remain nameless...

China felt his heart swell when he saw the front door. He was almost there, he could make it without any bodily harm! Figuring he was safe and throwing caution into the wind, he turned the knob and stepped out onto the porch of the grand manor, a huge grin on his face. However, his jubilation was promptly killed. His eyes widened in horror at the person standing by the black iron gates, speaking to the ever-happy America, silver hair and long creamy scarf rippling in the autumn wind.

China's mouth fell open in a silent scream (or perhaps a scream so loud only dogs were able to hear it) as the nation turned, a childish smile quirking his gentle features. Violet eyes grew with happiness, and his hands balled into fists by the sides of his face. America turned to follow the nation's gaze and upon locking eyes with China, gave a cheery wave.

China didn't return it.

No, he was focused on the monster he'd been trying so hard to avoid.

The monster for whom he popped several joints that did not need to be popped.

He didn't understand though! He'd been smooth like Jackie Chan and silent as a ninja.

"Chiiiiinnnnnaaaaaa!" the silver-haired country sang like a little bird, throwing his arms out and running forward.

Now that he thought about it, Jackie Chan was from Hong Kong, and ninjas were kind of Japan's thing. Oh crap…

"China! I've been waiting out here for you for almost twenty minutes!" the Russian Federation cried joyously. China's eye twitched lightly. He caught sight of America and his smug amusement, but China didn't have time to become rightfully angry at arrogant country's spurt of schadenfreude, as Russia gave a childish giggle and did a strange sort of pirouette. A stream of multicolored leaves flew around him, seemingly adding to his black magic. "China, I was waiting!" he repeated in his sickly sweet voice while he continued to twirl.

However at the final rotation, his jolly and sweet-natured features rapidly morphed into something horrifying. His large innocent eyes shrank within their sockets, while his sugary smile twitched around the edges, changing into something crooked and leering. A shadow came down and hung under his fearsome eyes, making his formerly kindly face appear almost skeletal.

"I've been waiting forever, kolkolkol!" Russia shouted, his baby-soft voice now deep and deranged. The slow and graceful lover's prance he had been performing was now lost as he took off in a full out sprint, a cloud of dust rising behind him. If China were less of a nation, he would of soiled himself and merely stood in the doorway frozen with terror, but no, China was greater than that.

As the psychotic Russian charged forward like some deranged bull, China let out a manly high-pitched scream and promptly slammed the door to America's house before taking off in a blind panic down the hall.

However, a door holding back Russia was equivalent to a piece of paper soaking up a river, and with a earsplitting crack, it was ripped from its hinges as Russia plowed through.

"My door!" he heard America cry out in anguish. China was no longer trying to be stealthy, his thoughts of Jackie Chan and ninjas replaced by those of an undeserving grave and the sheer agony he'd be put through if Russia caught him.

"China! Why are you running away from me?" Russia snarled. China let out a shriek of fear as he looked over his shoulder at the fast approaching country and knocked desks and chairs over in a pathetic attempt to slow Russia down. Sadly, it was a doomed effort.

China was already breathless from his previous stunts and Russia's legs were much longer. China let out a wail of sheer terror as he felt a huge and frigidly cold hand grasp the back of his suit and lift him into the air. From there he caught sight of America's ceiling and very pretty chandelier. He had a feeling it was going to be busted in a few more seconds.

"Ya liubliu tebya, Kitay! Ty ne dolzhen zastavlyat' menya tak dolgo zhdat'!" Russia declared in his own language before whirling China around like some sort of rag doll lasso above his head. China felt sick as he the world spun and his limbs were left to dangle uselessly in the wind.

"Why did it choose me~aru?" China thought miserably as Russia let go of him and he was sent hurling through a window. That's right, China no longer viewed Russia as something capable or even worthy of having a gender. Russia had become a sort of horrid beast that lurked in every doorway and crept outside his house at night occasionally dressed as an adorable, innocent panda.

"My window!" America cried out as he entered through the broken doorway. His vocalization was lost on China, who was by far too preoccupied with the sound shattering of glass and dignity.

There are no real words to describe what it feels like to be thrown through a closed window, other than it's very painful, but like in the last twenty or so encounters the unfortunate China had with his towering neighbor, he was left bleeding and in agony, the one thing he was hoping to avoid today.

Okay, so he had been wrong. It hadn't been the chandelier, but the window. He was off on what kinds of horrible things happened to him and what got broken in the process when Russia was around. China stared blankly up at the bright blue sky, a few birds flying overhead as he lay sprawled on America's lawn in a bed of broken glass. How he longed to escape into that sky. He closed his eyes while the serenity of the moment washed over him.

"Oh no!" a familiar voice suddenly cried, followed by approaching footsteps thus causing the timid serenity to flee. Suddenly the sky was replaced by a pair of teary violet eyes. "Oh nyet my precious Kitay, who did this to you!" Russia wailed, throwing himself on top China's mangled body. China let out a pained breath. Russia was of a considerably greater weight than he.

"You did, bro," America responded from his place looking out of his newly shattered window. "And by the way, are you two planning on paying for what you just did to my house?"

"Da, America, but my poor China is hurt and bleeding!" Russia cried, scooping up China in his arms and pulling him into his chest. China was suddenly smothered by Russia's uniform along with the grainy smell of the outdoors and he groaned miserably.

"I can see that, but he'll heal. My house won't without compensation," America grumbled. "Besides, who's fault is it that he got hurt anyway?"

"His, for running from my undying devotion!" Russia declared, standing abruptly with China in his arms. "But I forgive him, because now we get to spend the day together now that the meeting is over because China promised me!" China gave another gurgling vocalization of dread as he realized the truth in the words.

Russia had been following him around for days, calling at ungodly hours then hanging up, and occasionally breaking into his house, either causing China bodily harm, or worse, having his feelings hurt and bursting into tears, a trait he adopted from his older sister Ukraine.

China wasn't known for his mean spirit, and although he was a tad overly direct in voicing what he thought, seeing a nation wailing about how he only wanted to spend time together was enough to nearly break his heart.

So in the end he had given up and agreed to spend some quality time with Russia. Needless to say, his crocodile tears had dried, and that goofy childish grin was back. Unfortunately, China had not bothered to comprehend the enormity of the situation he had gotten himself into. All he cared about was getting Russia out of his house.

"You promise, Kitay?" Russia asked, titling his head innocently. "I won't leave until you promise."

"Yes! Fine! Just get out of my bathroom~aru!" China had shouted without thinking. After all, how bad could he really be if he was given what he wanted?

Of course now he realized his error as Russia giddily made his way to a coffee shop America had undoubtedly told him was a great 'dating spot'. Capitalist pig. China knew with a growing sense of doom what a horrible mistake he made.

Although Russia appeared kindly and sweet, the other country was only describable as bipolar. There were times China would be sitting alone in a room, and through the wood, paper, or whatever material happened to be separating them, came Russia's hand to grab him. The other country's psychotic purple eye was the only thing visible through the hole.

"Kitay, Ya liubliu tebya, kolkolkolkol!" he'd growl, continuing on to his demented chant, leaving China screaming in absolute fear. It didn't matter where China situated himself, for it seemed neither concrete nor steel was able to stop the Russian's crazy path.

Nor could China hide, for Russia seemed to have the nose of a bloodhound. The younger nation was able to follow him to airports, forests, rivers, mountains, cities, and random trees China climbed in order to break the scent trail he apparently left behind.

"China, what are you doing up there?" Russia had questioned him on such an occasion.

"Getting away from you~aru!" China had retorted.

"Aw, why don't you come back down so we can talk properly?"

"No~aru!"

"Pozhaluysta?"

"Bù xíng~aru!"

"Not even to be one with me?"

"Not until you leave and take your psycho with you~aru!" China declared.

"Then I'll just have to make you come down!" Russia snarled, his features instantaneously distorting into a downright frightening expression. With that, he grabbed hold of the trunk of the tree and started shaking it roughly. China held on for dear life, panic overtaking him as he began to scream.

"No! Russia! Russia, stop! Enough! Stop~aru!" However, in Russia's psychotic break from reality, his hearing had become nonexistent. The branches holding the terrified country up snapped, and down he went, smacking into a few others on the way down before he finally hit on the ground. He landed awkwardly like a bag of potatoes.

"Hooray!" Russia cried, his previous show of rage magically evaporating. His kindly face returned as he tottered over to the fallen nation. "Kitay came down to be one with me!" he squealed with delight, crouching where China lay barely conscious and hugging him tightly, rubbing their cheeks together. "I am so happy!"

"Kill…me…aru," China wheezed out.

Yes, it was a sad existence for a country on his way to becoming the economic powerhouse of the world gifted with centuries of experience. China had fought hard and was now on equal grounds with America when it came to influence. Not bad for someone once considered the 'Sick Man of Asia'.

However, at the same time all this wondrous progress was taking place for he and his people, China was reduced to cowering in fear of his northern neighbor and occasionally of his younger sister Belarus, who was not thrilled in the least with her brother's courting antics.

Of course this was nothing new for China. No, it had been going on for centuries. The only break was when Russia had been distracted by Lithuania, and even that hadn't been long enough for China. No, even before the Soviet Union had dissolved, Russia was at it again. His love for China had been rekindled with a ferocious fire leading to his aggressive stalking.

Now as Russia stopped before the coffee shop with the poor Asian hanging loosely in his arms, China was left reminiscing how all of this began. It was all his fault, from gazing pensively out his window while it was raining and seeing Russia standing outside looking up, to the days where he got a cheerful good morning from his doorstep hinting Russia had spent the night there. It was his fault because he had planted the seed that grew into a demented weed which was slowly choking the life out of him.

Russia's infatuation started from a young age back in the 1600's. Well, a young age for a nation anyway. Many human lifetimes had passed when China, in the beginnings of the Qing Dynasty, had first met his younger neighbor. Despite both being ruled by Mongols around the same time, they hadn't spoken much until around 1640, when he had first seen Russia on the Siberian border, teary-eyed and clumsy.

China remembered he was a sorry sight, his face bruised and the legs of his pants bloody from where he had fallen down on the treacherous journey over the mountains. Even when China was in his prime, he always had a soft-spot for cute things. Seeing the little boy wandering around in the snow after such hardy men, chewing nervously on his scarf was enough to make the eldest Asian feel horribly guilty with the proceeding bad blood stirred up between them.

Earlier, the Manchus had met a few of Russia's explorers for the first time south of the Amur River basin. Upon hearing news of his mysterious neighbor, China had set out to meet the venturing nation and found the sad little thing had stumbled after the Cossacks over the Stanovoy Mountains as they claimed different territories for agriculture.

Needless to say, he was surprised by the other country's lack of great stature and, with Korea's help, drove Russia back over the mountains by 1689. China wasn't through though. With the Treaty of Nerchinsk. Russia had given up the lands north of the Amur River and East of the Mouth of the Argun River.

Russia had wept bitterly and China, feeling an involuntary rush of pity, knelt by the small boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. It came with raising two younger brothers of his own, and though China knew he had every right to drive off a growing nation wanting to cross his border, he still felt like a bully.

"Hey, don't be sad~aru," China murmured. "You're still growing. You'll get the hang of it soon~aru."

"B-But why did you have to be so mean?" Russia wailed. "T-They o-only wanted to have food, a-and all the countries in the west are being so mean to me! I-I want Big Sis!" China had pursed his lips guiltily and looked to the side. Well, it wasn't like he could just give the lands away because he felt sorry for him. Still, having those big violet eyes staring tearfully at him was like a kick in the teeth.

"Well, you don't lose everything~aru," China reminded. "You still get to keep the land between the Argun River and Lake Baikal. That piece just belongs to Manchuria and my people~aru. We've always had it."

"I just want to get bigger so everyone will stop being so mean and picking on me and my sisters!" Russia cried. "I want to be friends with everyone, but they don't like me!"

"Hey, I don't think you're that bad~aru!" China exclaimed hastily. "In fact, I can respect that you want to conquer that insane wilderness up north~aru."

"For the forests," Russia sniffed.

"Really?"

"Uh huh, they want to trap there for fur."

"Well that's a good idea~aru," China encouraged. Perhaps he wouldn't have to pick on the kid again if he were preoccupied elsewhere.

"Fur is really soft…and warm," Russia murmured, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Silk is too~aru," China replied, giving the smaller nation a sideways smile. "Hey, who knows? Maybe once you get a little older you and I can establish some trade routes together~aru." At this, the miserable looking child's face lit up.

"R-Really? Y-You'd do that…with me?"

"Of course! You and I can be valuable business partners~aru," China informed. "We'll have your boss sign another treaty to get this little border dispute solved and then you and I will be friends~aru!"

"Friends?" Russia exclaimed, happiness alighting his gloomy features. It was the first time China had seen Russia smile, and he was nearly overcome with the little country's adorableness. "Oh, that would be wonderful!" Russia came forward and wrapped his arms around China's torso. "I'll get bigger, I promise, and then we'll be friends and won't have to fight anymore!"

"Alright~aru," China chuckled, patting Russia's head affectionately. "We'll be close~aru!"

"Kitay, I promise to give you lots of fur so you'll be nice and warm!"

"And I'll give you some silk~aru!" China said happily, glad to make the poor kid a little less miserable.

Unfortunately, making Russia a little less miserable was the worst mistake of his life, for as soon as he uttered a kind word, Russia couldn't get enough. He also kept his promise of growing bigger, and by the time the 1800's rolled around, Russia towered over China by several heads.

The sweet little boy who had hugged him around the middle at the concept of being friends was now a huge and powerful nation. When they saw each other again during the making of the Treaty of Aigun, Russia's…intense feelings became clear. He annexed all land north of the Amur with the cheerful explanation of,

"Now we can be closer together!" China merely smiled and nodded, somewhat touched someone was so excited to be neighbors, but also mildly creeped out. Then by 1860 with the creation of the Treaty of Beijing, when Russia's coast had been expanded to Vladivostock, he declared, "Now we can be one!" By then China responded with a very strained grin and nod.

Little did he know, for that one moment of kindness, China sealed his fate. Russia had marked them as soul mates and was determined to have China for his own.

"Oh, China, America said this coffee place was supposed to be romantic!" Russia exclaimed, bringing China out of his horrid reminiscing.

"Starbucks. Really?" China muttered, staring up at the green symbol with the printed woman. "This is romantic?"

"America said it was for business prudes, and you definitely are a business prude if I ever saw one!"

"Business prude!" China exclaimed indignantly, wriggling out of Russia's arms, and smoothing down his wrinkled suit, wincing as his palms were scrapped by a few stubborn glass shards.

"Aw, but China, you're my business prude, and Starbucks has all sorts of yummy sweets for Russia to enjoy!" Russia declared, grabbing China's wrist and leading him through the glass door.

Sure enough, Russia had gotten two giant chocolate chip cookies, and China, just to prove he was not a prude, ordered a hot chocolate topped with cream and sprinkles. After all, it was cold out and he needed something warm in his hands.

"We're sitting down in the back where no one can see us," China muttered, thoroughly annoyed as he stalked over to a table towards the back. Russia followed him like a puppy, already nibbling on one of his cookies.

"Let's hold hands!"

"No," China replied immediately. Russia didn't seemed swayed by the blunt answer and sighed happily.

"I'm so happy to be spending time with my Kitay!" he chirped as he sat by the too-small table across from China.

"Stop calling me that~aru!" China snapped, nearly slamming his hot coco down.

"Stop calling you what, Kitay?" Russia asked, utterly clueless.

"That!" China snarled. "That word right there!"

"But it is merely Russian for China, China," Russia informed, batting his eyelashes innocently.

"I. Don't. Care," China hissed through his teeth. "I don't speak freaky-deaky Russian. You will call me China!"

"What about Yao-Yao?"

China's eye gave an involuntary twitch.

"No."

"But then what can I call you?"

"China."

"But that's boring, Yao-Yao!" China blanched at such a nickname.

"China," he growled though clenched teeth.

"But I want a nickname only I can use!"

"China."

"Everybody calls you China though!"

"China."

"But I like Yao-Yao!"

"MY NAME IS FUCKING CHINA!" China shrieked, standing up abruptly from his chair. Everyone in the coffee house gasped and looked towards the source of the sound. China instantly felt his face redden. Everyone was staring at this table, even the people behind the counter. This was what spending time with Russia had reduced him to. A raving lunatic.

Feeling humiliation rise, he had to find a distraction and promptly slapped the pudgy gentleman behind him upside his bald head.

"Hey!" the man shouted, his buggy eyes watering.

"How dare you curse in public~aru?" China questioned accusingly.

"I didn't!"

"I heard you~aru!" China snarled. "You're a monster! Staining these good people's virgin ears with your filthy language~aru!" Thankfully, the man seemed more of a coward than someone willing to fight and he turned away from his attacker.

"I don't need to listen to this," he grumbled, his own face growing hot as he gathered his newspaper and hurriedly walked out the door. China crossed his arms and gave a huff before sitting back down.

"I like that one!" Russia suddenly exclaimed.

"What one?" China asked, confused.

"Fucking China!"

"Absolutely not! My name is China and that's final!"

Russia pouted, then broke off a piece of his cookie and held it out to the other nation. "Try some, it's really good!"

"No, because it has your insanity all over it~aru." A hurt expression overcame Russia's face, his lips trembling and his eyes welling up. China rolled his eyes and Russia gave a sniff. "It's not going to work~aru." No matter how adorably heartbroken Russia appeared, it wasn't going to work. He had since lost his sweet little boy face and now China was immune to his charms.

"I-I…" Russia sniffled, lifting his hands to wipe his eyes.

"Your blubbering isn't going to work~aru!" China sniffed, taking a careful sip of his coco.

"I…" Russia took a deep breath and his head jerked upwards abruptly, eyes wide and deadly. "I want you to be one with me, kolkolkol!" He shouted, springing up from his seat and promptly lifting the table above his head with monstrous strength. He grinned evilly, that horrid shadow making his eyes appear hollow. China's eyes instantaneously grew and he dropped his paper cup on the floor, looking up in shock.

"Oh, shi-" he managed to squeak before the table came down on his head.

He woke up on his doorstep several hours later with a throbbing headache and the unpleasant surprise of being handcuffed to the other nation. Russia was apparently waiting for him to arise for as soon as China shifted he tilted his head and waved happily.

"Good to see you up, Fucking China!" China groaned.

"Where am I and what have you done to my hand~aru?" China grumbled, yanking lightly on the cuffs as he sat up.

"We're in front of your house," Russia told.

"Why are we handcuffed together?" China asked groggily, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer.

"It's our first date and I'm shy!" Russia exclaimed. "You have to kiss me before I go home and I don't want to run away!" China blinked, his vision clearing a bit more. Had he heard correctly? Indeed Russia did appear nervous, and his cheeks were slightly pink.

"You can't be serious~aru," China said flatly. Russia nodded, balling his hands by his mouth nervously and nodding. "You knock me unconscious with a table and handcuff me to you and you expect me to kiss you~aru?" Russia nodded again. China rolled his eyes. "Come on now, let's just each go our separate ways~aru."

"But I want to kiss you," Russia admitted, looking down at his feet. China let out an annoyed breath and ran his hand through his hair, flinching as it came into contact with the nasty knot left by the table. Russia had been stalking him for centuries with his freaky bipolar behavior. He was tired of being maimed, hit, kicked, thrown through windows and being woken up at ungodly hours by a ringing phone. He was old and his head felt like it had been split in two.

"I'm tired of this~aru!" he shouted, ignoring the nasty throb in his head. Russia's eyes widened at his outburst, and China stood abruptly yanking on the cuffs. "I'm tired of waking up at night and seeing you looking in my window! I'm tired of your phone calls! I'm tired of you throwing me around like some silly little toy or Baltic state! I'm tired of you breaking into my house! I'm tired of the weird Cyrillic messages you scrawl on my bathroom mirror in the morning with your sister's lipstick! I'm tired of you altogether~aru!" he shouted, throwing his body against the thin chain binding their wrists together and reaching for his door. "The reason nobody likes you is because you're a wacko! You're crazy, Russia! I hate you as a neighbor! If I had it my way, I'd be living with Japan or America or that one country north of America that I can't remember! Europe is too close! Anywhere that's far away from you~aru!"

"D-Do you really mean that?" Russia asked, his eyes tearing up. China gave a frustrated growl mixed with a snort and continued his useless yanking.

"Yes! I mean every word~aru! I want you to leave me alone~aru! I agreed to this little date thing so that you would get out of my house~aru! But this is the last straw! I'm done being knocked unconscious and all the other horrible things that happen to me when you're around~aru!"

"But I-"

"You what?" China interrupted. "Thought that you meant something to me? I felt bad for you when you were little~aru! You were the most pathetic little creature I had ever come across and I only wanted you to stop crying~aru! Little did I know that sad little kid would grow into a sadistic maniac with bipolar tendencies who's idea of a romantic date is taking someone to Starbucks and slamming their heads with a table~aru!"

"I offered to hold hands," Russia reminded softly. China let out a shriek of frustration, nearly tearing out a chunk of his hair in the process. Slamming his head against his door a few times he managed to calm the angry buzzing enough to hold out his hand to the country still sitting on the top most step.

"Give me the keys~aru," he said flatly.

"What?"

"Give me the keys right now~aru. I'm done playing your psychotic little mind games. I'm done interacting with you for a long time~aru. Give me the keys."

"But-"

"Now! Ivan!" China yelled, forehead still against the door. China felt the cool metal on his palm and hurriedly unlocked the cuffs. When he was free he immediately stepped inside and slammed the door in Russia's hurt face. At last he was away from that nutbag.

Taking a bit of medication for his head, China collapsed onto his bed completely dressed and abruptly passed out. He awoke the next day still feeling like crap and his head pounding like an angry drummer. Yet that morning, the strangest thing occurred.

His bathroom was empty. Usually there would be some weird Cyrillic message scrawled across the walls and his mirror, but today there was nothing. This instantly made China paranoid. If Russia was holding back on his usual stalking, he was bound to do something even creepier by the end of the day.

However, as it trekked on, Russia was nowhere to be found. China caught himself looking over his shoulder as his boss attempted to discuss foreign policy, but Russia remained absent. As he walked back to his house, there were no accompanying footsteps following his own and stopping abruptly when he did.

Around corners there were no steely purple eyes staring at him from a hunkering black shadow. No, for once in a very long time, China was utterly alone. Once he returned home, he greeted Shinatty-chan before heading to the kitchen to make himself some red tea.

From there he heard something scratching against his window, and preparing to shout an "Ah hah!" was sadly disappointed when it was only a branch scraping against the panes. Unaware he was pouting he finished his tea and went to his living room and without thinking dialed America's phone number.

"Hello?" America grumbled groggily from the other end.

"It's China."

"China? Look, I know over there it's the afternoon, but over here it's like two in the morning," America informed grouchily. "A hero needs his beauty sleep."

"Do you think I care~aru?" China asked. "I just want to know if you've seen Russia around~aru."

"No," America answered. "I haven't seen him since yesterday when he used your body to break my window. Am I going to be seeing a check for that any time soon by the way?"

"You owe me over a billion dollars. I'll deduct it from you debt~aru."

"Appreciate it," America said sarcastically then sighed bitterly. China could vaguely imagine him laying back in the bed. "If you want to find Russia, did you check your trash? He likes going through that, you know." China thought back and recalled his trashcans, all perfectly undisturbed, an unusual sight to see in the morning.

"Yeah, he hasn't been around."

"Oh, well don't be too disappointed, maybe he's just busy." China held back a scoff. Since when was Russia too busy to stalk him?

Of course as the weeks drew on, China's slight unease turned into outright anxiety. It was as if Russia had never existed. No longer did he see Russia waiting for him by the gates of whatever house the world meetings took place in. Now China found himself staying up until ungodly hours waiting for the phone to ring. One afternoon it rang and China practically threw himself across the room to grab the receiver.

"Where have you been~aru!" he demanded angrily.

"Um, where I've always been," Japan's voice answered. China bit back a groan of disappointment, not bothering to notice Japan had actually called him on his own, something that would have sent China into hysterical glee in a normal circumstance.

"Yeah, what do you want?" he snapped a bit more rudely than intended.

"Oh, I was just wondering if I could come over so we could…catch up?" Japan ventured. China wasn't paying attention. Instead he was looking out of his window down at his empty doorstep. Thoughts of Russia swarmed his mind and he bitterly swallowed a lump in his throat.

"What?" China asked bluntly.

"I was wondering if I could come see you," Japan repeated. China walked down the stairs and took a seat by the wall in his living room, waiting almost in anticipation for the old hand breaking through trick. It never came.

"What? Huh, yeah sounds good. Look, I have to go. Tell your siblings I said hi."

"But-" China hung up with irritation.

Even at the second world meeting, Russia's chair was empty and China was lividly staring at it. Italy, who was sitting next to him, squirmed uncomfortably and clung to Romano's arm. What kind of trick was Russia trying to pull? This wasn't fair play at all, just disappearing and making China…miss him? Okay, maybe 'miss' was a bit too powerful of a word. More like, how dare he make China anticipate his next attack?

Several months later, out of sheer desperation at how uncomfortably quiet his life became, China found himself interrogating America after he cornered the other nation inside a nearby McDonald's. Shoving Ronald McDonald to the side, much to the children's delight as they swarmed upon the downed clown, his angry brown eyes pinned America to his seat like giant thumbtacks.

"What did you do~aru?" he demanded.

"I don't know, what did I do?" America asked, rightfully confused as he bit down on a cheeseburger. China wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"You did something to Russia, didn't you?" China accused, reaching over and snatching the burger away before tossing it in the trash. America's eyes narrowed. "That will come out of your debt too. I'd rather you not put that filth in your mouth while I'm speaking~aru. Now where is Russia?"

"How the hell should I know? What am I, his keeper?" America asked, reaching for his carton of fries. However, China was too quick and the fires followed their cheeseburger comrade into the garbage receptacle with a cheerful red 'thank you' engraved on the flap.

"I know this is all your fault~aru!" China declared.

"How?" the accused cried indignantly.

"Because everything that goes wrong is your fault~aru!" America appeared hurt at this and China felt a momentary rush of pity. Perhaps he'd been a bit too rough. After all, America was one of the few things that made Japan happy these days, and anyone who could do that didn't deserve China berating them. "Look, I'm sorry~aru," he apologized grudgingly. Besides, jumping down America's throat wasn't going to get him anywhere. "It's just freaky that Russia is gone~aru."

"Well I don't know what's going on," America said. "But last time I talked to him he seemed really upset."

"Upset how?" China questioned above the small children running through the giant plastic tubes of the play place. America gave a sad smile.

"Something you said actually."

"Something I…?" China trailed off, his eyes widening in realization.

"The reason nobody likes you is because you're a wacko! You're crazy, Russia! I hate you as a neighbor!"

That's right, he blew up at Russia and said all those horrible things to him. Well, he'd been angry and his head had been hurting but still…

"Yeah, poor guy," America murmured, taking a sip of his diet coke. China stared at him, unused to seeing America drink anything with less than several heavy grams of sugar. "Japan's been making me cut back on the calories," he explained. "That's why he gave me the Wiifit."

"Oh, h-how are you two~aru?" China asked, not really caring, but doing so just to be polite.

"Pretty good. He acts like my wife with all the cooking and cleaning he does," America chuckled.

"That's good ~aru. But…but about Russia he…called you…about that?"

"About?"

"What I said~aru," China muttered gloomily. "I thought you two hated each other."

"Yeah, but Russia and I used to be pretty close," America informed, rubbing the back of his head and placing his diet coke back on the table. "We're trying to get better now, but we're still not on the greatest of footing. Still, no one else really cares about him the way I do. I mean, even though we've sort of drifted apart, I still consider him my best friend."

"I was pretty rough~aru," China admitted softly before his tone hardened. "But that doesn't explain him disappearing for six months~aru!"

"Russia's a busy country, China," America assured. "I mean that spat he had with Georgia took up a lot of time."

"But even so he still-" China cut himself off and felt his face redden in shame. From behind him, Ronald McDonald was trying to crawl away from the rampaging children.

"Still had time to stare into your window at night?" America guessed. China didn't answer and merely stared at his hands. America pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Look, sometimes when someone doesn't return your feelings you sort of just give up," America figured. "Believe it or not, Russia is really tenderhearted. Sure, he's a bit crazy, but he's like me. People say stuff about both of us, and regardless how we appear to brush it off, that shit hurts. Only difference is that while I can pretend it didn't happen after the sting, it genuinely breaks Russia's heart. He tries, you know? And he's been obsessed with you since he was little. He just doesn't know how to get you to like him." America's face became even sadder. "What you said really cut him deep."

"He told you everything~aru?"

"He told me enough." America slurped on his straw again, needlessly adjusting Texas.

"What am I supposed to do~aru?" China asked. "How can I apologize to him when I don't even know where he is~aru?"

"You can't do anything until he decides to show up," America said. "Now if you don't mind, I gotta get home. Japan's probably having a spazz attack and I'm really not supposed to be here."

"Hey, A-America~aru?" China spoke up as the other nation was making his way to leave. America stopped and turned.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." America gave his trademark half smile.

"Heh, it's cool. Just don't tell your brother I was here. When he gets pissed at me he starts spurting this Japanese babble that's really creepy."

"Will do~aru," China sighed miserably.

That night as he lay looking up at his ceiling and listening to the rain fall, he found he couldn't stop thinking about Russia. Nobody loved him as much as that crazy nation up north, and though he hated it, now that it was gone, China realized how lonely he really was. Without Russia his house was empty. He didn't have anyone to take care of anymore, and he was reduced to interacting with random children that ran by his house.

He was losing his mind. Everything about Russia was suddenly perfect and beautiful. If only he'd come back so China could tell him this. If only he'd gotten past his stubbornness brought on by old age and accepted Russia's love. Six months left his poor heart hollow and even…broken.

China sighed and turned over on his side. He knew it now. He missed Russia. He missed waking up to the Cyrillic, and having Russia follow him down the street. Hell, he even missed Russia breaking into his house. At least that proved he was someone worth being around. Russia's stalking gave him value. When everyone else up and left him, Russia wanted to be closer.

Thinking back on what he said made China feel horrible. Though America hadn't been helpful in telling him where Russia had gone, he had been in understanding. Russia really did care about him. Through the physical wounds and utter agony, Russia meant it when he said he loved him. He stared longingly at his phone, his eyes burning. What he would do to have it ring right about now.

Then the strangest thing happened.

It rang.

China jumped out of his skin and grabbed the receiver, his hands shaking with expectation.

"Hello~aru?"

"Privet, Kitay! Sorry I've been gone for so long! I am currently outside your window!" Without thinking, China rushed to his bedroom window, and sure enough, there was Russia looking up cheerfully. His silver hair plastered to his forehead from the rain as he held his cell phone to his ear.

"Where have you been~aru?" China demanded turning away and automatically heading towards his bedroom door. Russia let out a childish giggle.

"I was in jail because they caught me going through China's mail again," he informed almost proudly. "Did China miss me?" China didn't respond as he flung open the front door and threw the receiver to the side. His heart was pounding in his throat as his brown eyes gazed heatedly out into the rain.

There was Russia. Illuminated in the glow of the streetlights was the nation China most desperately wanted to see. Soaking wet with that adorable smile on his face, Russia had never appeared so beautiful before. He lifted a hand and gave a wave.

"I missed China greatly!" Russia called through the pounding rain, hanging up his cell phone. "It was very lonely in jail!" Without a second thought China sprinted from his doorstep, his dark hair automatically getting soaked as he threw himself into the other nation's arms. Russia's coat was soaked, and his lack of body heat made it worse, but China didn't care. Russia could have been an icicle for all he cared, as he was here. Russia enthusiastically returned China's embrace, keeping his feet off the ground. "China did miss me then, da?"

"Ben dan!" China practically sobbed miserably, wrapping his arms around the taller country's neck and closing the distance between their lips. Russia tensed in surprise, but quickly relaxed, humming happily into the other nation's mouth. China broke away to kiss him again, cupping Russia's cheek and brushing a few strands of hair out of his eyes. "You had me worried sick!"

"Aw, Russia would never give up on China!" Russia set China back down on the ground. "I love you! Wó ài nǐ! Ya liubliu tebya!" He declared in three langages.

"I…I…" China began but faltered, looking up at the taller nation with owlishly huge and teary eyes. "I…I love you too!" he wailed, finally breaking down. Russia gave a gentle smile and pulled China into a sweet, if not freezing cold, hug.

"Aw, don't cry! Love is not a sad thing!"

"But I was so mean to you~aru!" China sobbed into Russia's chest.

"There, there," Russia murmured softly, patting China's back affectionately. "You were merely confused because I hit you with a table." China stepped back and craned his neck back to stare up at Russia's gentle face.

"You're not mad at me~aru?"

"I admit, I was sad at first, but then I called America and he cleared up everything!"

"A-America?" China stuttered. Russia nodded enthusiastically.

"He's the one that told me about the effects of brain injuries on a person's anger!"

"Oh," was all China said, wiping his eyes from both the tears and the rain. "Well, do you want to come in?" China asked, taking Russia's hand.

"For what?" Russia asked, his face turning confused.

"You know…?" China prompted, his hold tightening on Russia's hand, almost painfully so.

"Um…nyet I don't, China," Russia replied nervously, starting to get a tad uncomfortable at the sudden strange look in China's eyes.

"Oh, I think you do~aru," China murmured, his voice suddenly husky as he let his other hand rub circles onto the top of Russia's.

"Ah, you're sort of confusing me," Russia laughed a bit, now shifting uncomfortably as China's face grew a little scary, even for Russia.

"You left me waiting for six months~aru!" China hissed. The smaller country's hand now had undoubtedly tightened. "I didn't know where you were or if you were hurt~aru! I thought you gave up on me~aru!"

"But I would nev-"

"Then why won't you come inside and have sex with me~aru!" China demanded. Russia's face immediately paled, and his happy smile promptly slid from his features. "Am I too old now? Is that what it is~aru!"

"Oh, nyet! I-It's just we've only had one date and we just shared our first kiss. Maybe we should…slow down?" Russia faltered when he noticed a creepy shadow cast under China's eyes.

"You left me in hell for six months, we've confessed our love for one another, and you've been stalking me for centuries~aru. I think we're okay to have sex~aru," China growled menacingly, tugging Russia towards his house. Russia didn't budge, however.

"U-Um, actually I had something to talk about with my boss! Uh, see you later, China!" Russia cried, taking his hand from the other nation's grasp and bolting in the other direction.

"Oh no you don't!" China hollered, running after him, his face now totally deranged. "You will get back here and I will rape you if I have to~aru!" Russia let out a squeal of terror as he was reminded of Belarus and took off into the streets of Beijing, dodging around cars and people. He even bolted down a few alleys for good measure.

Thankfully, once Russia had made his way into an abandoned building, China seemed not to be chasing him anymore. Russia let out a breath of relief. He stopped and ran his hand through his hair. Who knew his sweet little China could be so scary? Still, he was sure in the morning once the emotion had died down, he'd be back to his sweet little honorable, modest self Russia so loved.

However, the thoughts of China's adorable face were promptly cut off, as through the wall next to him came a hand. It exploded through the concrete as if it were nothing and the fingers clamped down roughly on Russia's wrist. Painfully so.

Russia let out a small squeak and stared into the newly formed opening. Through it, he saw a psychotic brown eye peering evilly at him, framed by lanky dark hair. It reminded him of Japan's "Grudge" movies, and those movies had terrified him to the point of tears.

"Russssiiiiaaaa," a dark voice growled, sickeningly sweet as it dripped with poison honey. It was beyond Belarus's marriage rants and doorknob ripping. It was completely and utterly unreal. China's hand might very well snap his wrist in two if he chose to increase the pressure anymore. "Wó ài nǐ~aru!"

As Beijing glowed prettily in the dark, a panic-induced scream filled the air.

Eh heh heh. China tops in my mind. Always. Anyway, thanks for reading everybody! Reaper-Lawliet, we're so happy you're with us despite all the horrible insanity in that story. Thank you so much and I hoped you enjoyed your fic!

Translations (Lucky is beast for the Chinese and Verocat, as always, is to thank for the Russian) You ladies make this lonely American's life complete.

Ya liubliu tebya, Kitay! Ty ne dolzhen zastavlyat' menya tak dolgo zhdat' - Russian for 'I love you, China! You shouldn't have kept me waiting for so long!'

Pozhaluysta - Russian for 'Please'

Bù xíng - Chinese for 'no way'

Wó ài nǐ - Chinese for 'I love you'