A/N: Well, this was supposed to be a little Arthur/Merlin moment I wanted to post on my lj.............................. but it turned into a drabble, so I decided to post it in FF too!!!

I think this is also a potential slash fic, so tell me if you want me to write it.

Title: "Insults and Caring"

Pairing: Arthur/Merlin (onesided........ well, in Arthur's mind atleast)

Rating: k

Disclaimer: "Merlin" IS NOT MINE................ i just enjoy it very much

oh, wow! this is the first Merlin fic I've uploaded, I hope you like it

THIS IS ARTHUR'S POV!!!

NOW IT'S BETAED!!! By: kathkin (lj)

It's alright for Arthur to insult Merlin. He does it all the time, really. 'Merlin, you are such an idiot' is his favorite one. He makes sure to tell him that at least five times a day, but the manservant just utters a soft 'sorry sire' and goes back to whatever he was doing. The nerve...

It's alright for Arthur to call Merlin an idiot because he deserves it. He really does. He deserves all the 'can't you do anything right?' and the 'you really are useless' and everything else because... well... because he has the nerve to be so thoroughly unimpressed! So unimpressed by the young Prince.

And it's not like Arthur wants Merlin, of all people, to notice him, to be impressed by him, to see him as someone noble and good...

But no, Merlin just has to see Arthur as a prat or a spoiled baby or a stupid Prince. And when he isn't seeing him that way, he's just ignoring him. Ignoring him. No one had ever ignored Arthur before. Everyone always cared about what he had to say. Everyone is either flattered by his compliments or upset by his insults. Everyone except Merlin. The idiot. Arthur can insult him a hundred times, but he just doesn't seem to care, just goes on and makes that face, that face that says 'I can't wait to finish this job' or 'God this is so annoying'. That face that makes Arthur feel something unpleasant in his chest, something that almost hurts though he would never admit it.
But Merlin.... he never looks hurt, never looks upset, never looks like he cares.

So Arthur insults him. He tries to get his attention, tries to make him jealous, to make him care even if it's just a little, just a little. He wants to see his face turn from boredom to... to something else. Just something. Even if it's hurt. But only to see that he cares, to see that his manservant is affected by him or by what he thinks, says or does. And when Merlin finally makes a hurt face, Arthur would like to be the one to turn it into a happy one....

Merlin has a happy face almost always (at least 80% of the time), but it's never because of Arthur. It's always because of someone else. So the Prince would really like to be the cause of it. He wants to look at that amazing smile and think 'I did that'

But it's not like Arthur cares about Merlin. It's not like he sees him in a special way. It's not like he wants to have him by his side all the time. Because he really doesn't. Alright, maybe he enjoys having him around just a little but it's not like he would be upset if his manservant left, or died, or just stopped being there. Arthur wouldn't be upset. He wouldn't care. He would just get another servant. Get another Merlin.

But what exactly is Merlin? What is he to Arthur? And how could he ever get another one?

He has never had a Merlin before. Merlin is.... well he's a servant. Arthur has had servants. He's a boy. Camelot is full of boys. But then... what else is he? What does he do? He... he makes Arthur feel... he makes Arthur feel. He makes Arthur laugh, worry, wonder, hurt. Arthur has never had someone like that before.

Could he ever get another Merlin? He doesn't think he could. He doesn't even want to get another one. He wants to have this one, and no other. But he also wants Merlin to care. To feel the same way. He wants to make the boy feel all the things that he makes Arthur feel. He wants to tell him all this, wants to insult him for turning him into... into whatever he is now. He wants to scream at him, to blame him, to make him take responsibility, but he never will. Prince Arthur will never utter a single word. Not to Merlin, not to anyone. He can't. He is Prince Arthur. He can't feel this way. But he does, so the only thing he can do is, is… nothing. He will do nothing.