AGAIN

So it's been a LONG time since I've written and posted anything. I could blame it on my hectic schedule, but mostly I blame it on Shonda and her determination to ruin Alex and Izzie for me. Recent spoilers are not helping either. Despite what's going on with the show and my favorite couple right now, I needed to write out a way to fix things. And then it took on a life of its own. So read and enjoy (or at least I hope you do). Read and Review!!!

Oh, and I don't own anything, and if I did, Shonda would have been fired years ago.

It had been four years since she had darkened the doors of Seattle Grace-Mercy West Hospital.

She looked up at the sign, thinking back to the merger that ultimately caused her dismissal from the residency program. That old anger threatened to boil up in her stomach, but she pushed it aside, taking a deep breath and moving forward into the glass and steel structure. She was unsure of how this would go, how he would react. But she had to do this. It was only fair, only right.

Exiting the elevator on the familiar surgical floor, it scared her a little bit to realize that the faces around her were all so unfamiliar. It was so different from her time here when she knew everyone and everyone knew her.

She made her way over to the desk, eventually gaining the attention of a nurse, who couldn't be more than 22 or 23. "Can I help you?"

Izzie nodded. "I need to see Dr. Karev. It's important." The girl nodded, and looked at the schedule on the computer. There was no judgment in her demeanor. It made her grateful that she hadn't been forced to ask someone who knew, or thought they knew, what happened between her and her ex-husband.

"He's in surgery right now," the nurse said, as a tiny bit of sadness crept into Izzie's soul. "It shouldn't be too much longer, though, if you'd like to wait in the waiting room for him." She smiled slightly at the girl and turned, searching for a chair where she could hide from her former friends and co-workers. She didn't need to see them. Just him.

She hadn't spoken to him in years, despite a few voice mails they each left for each other when the divorce was finalized. There was nothing personal or intimate about any of the messages, just simple goodbyes, and seeming attempts for closure. That was all they were. She would never admit to anyone, even him, that she had never deleted his last one.

A tear crept down her face as she stared at the wall, trying to keep her emotions in check. She was scared, not knowing how he would take her request, if he was even willing to see her. She knew that he had likely moved on, certain that there had been other women. He was Alex Karev, after all. But had he moved on so much that he was settled and happy? Had he remarried? Or met a woman that wouldn't run out on him? A better woman than she ever was?

All the thoughts running through her mind stilled, when his voice rang out behind her.

"Izzie."

-------------------

"Great job as usual, Dr. Karev." Dr. Arizona Robbins smiled at her protege as they scrubbed out of a particularly difficult transplant surgery on a three-year-old. "Keep this up and I'll be out of job when you become an attending."

She winked at him and exited the scrub room as he watched the nurses and the techs carefully move the little girl from the table back onto the gurney. This had been a tough one. A sweet, beautiful little girl who would never live to see kindergarten without a new kidney. Her ten-year-old brother donated his. He had doubted his choice to follow Dr. Bailey's advice and go into pedes on many occasions, but not now. He knew he was where he belonged, doing the job that he was born to do.

He couldn't help but think that his own tragic childhood made him perfect for this job. That he could keep his patients from feeling all the pain he felt as a kid. And kids didn't judge him. He could look them in the eyes and not feel like a complete failure. It was the only time he didn't feel like that.

The last four years of his life had been about nothing but work. Advancing his career. Catching up with Meredith by publishing with Dr. Robbins. Being as hardcore as Cristina. He, somewhere along the line, had truly become one to watch. He didn't split his time between work and home. Work was home, and it was a pattern that he had settled into nicely.

Sure there had been nights at Joe's and one night stands with random, willing women. But that was the extent of his personal life. He was okay with that because every time he woke up with another woman in his bed, he still felt empty. It still bothered him when the woman wasn't blonde or her eyes weren't a specific color of brown. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone. He'd moved on the only way he knew how after she cut him so deeply.

The girl was wheeled out of the OR, and he finished scrubbing out, mentally noting that he'd have to check on her in an hour. Until then, sleep.

"Dr. Karev?" The voice of a young nurse pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up at the tiny dark-haired girl walking toward him. "There is a woman asking for you. She said it was important."

"Who was it?"

"She didn't leave a name. Pretty blonde. Brown eyes. She's waiting in the waiting room." The nurse disappeared into a patient's room with the shrug of her shoulders.

He knew in his mind that the description he had been giving could have been anyone. A patient's mother, perhaps. Or another doctor interested in the article he had published with Dr. Robbins. But his heart couldn't help but pound at the thought that it might be Izzie. He hadn't heard from her in over three years. Hadn't seen her in four. It was doubtful that she would just show up unexpected like this. He wasn't sure whether to be happy at the prospect or not.

He took a deep breath and headed into the waiting area. It took him only seconds to find her, even with her facing the wall at the far side of the room. Her hair was longer, but he knew it was her.

Keeping his well-trained voice in check he called her name.

"Izzie."

-------------------

She wiped her face, hoping he wouldn't notice the moisture left there from her tears. Then she turned to look at the man she'd left behind so many years ago. It didn't surprise her that he was even more handsome than before, despite a few more wrinkles around his eyes. "Alex." She watched as a touch of a smile made its way onto his face and she felt a sense of relief wash over her.

She looked better. So much healthier than the last time. Her face had filled back out and her skin wasn't ashen and she didn't look like she'd spent months in a hospital bed. She reminded him so much of the young girl he'd met at the mixer at the beginning of their internship. Then as she said his name, all the memories of what they went through, what they put each other through, came flooding back to him. He put the wall up again, and stopped looking at her like the only woman he'd ever fully given his heart to. "What do you need, Izzie?"

The sudden change in his voice, in his demeanor, scared her a little bit. This wasn't going to be easy. She knew him, knew what he was doing. He was bracing himself against her, not letting her in. This was exactly what she didn't want to happen. "I need your help." She looked around the busy waiting area. "Can we go somewhere a little quieter?"

He nodded at her request, clearly understanding that whatever she wanted from him, it wasn't something that the whole hospital should be privy to. He had been the one who had to deal with the gossip after she left him, the sympathetic looks, the judgment. She hadn't had to go through that, and he didn't want to do it again. So he lead her up to the roof, to the place that had become his spot. He'd sat there and signed the divorce papers, sat there when he left her the last voice mail, sat there after the first time he slept with someone else. It was his place to think because everywhere else reminded him of her. He realized too late that he'd have to find another new spot after this.

They made small talk as he led her to the roof, which in an odd way, comforted her.

"So, how have you been?" he asked, looking straight ahead.

"I've been in remission officially for two and a half years. No recurrences. I still get checked every six months but, as far as my doctors can tell, I'm doing fine."

"Good."

"What about you?"

"Stayed busy. I've been working with Dr. Robbins for a few years. Focusing on pedes."

"I know. I read the article. It was good. Very good."

Silence and awkwardness engulfed them again. She looked around, out over the skyline of Seattle, moving to rest her arms against the wall. "I've forgotten how beautiful this city is."

He watched as she took in the view, warm summer breeze floating through her hair and he knew that if he watched much longer, the walls would crumble and his defenses would be useless. "What do you need my help for, Izzie?"

She sighed, not turning her gaze away from the sunlit bay. "I'm a secretary, Alex. At a law firm. I live alone in a tiny apartment in Chehalis. I never see my mother anymore because we really don't do well living in the same city. I get up in the morning, go to work at 8, and am home by 6. I'm alone and I'm miserable and I know that's my own fault. But I'm sick of it."

Alex was about to ask what any of this had to do with him, why she drove all the way up here to tell him this when she turned to look at him and continued.

"I want to have a baby."