Author's Note: The muse is slowly waking up, and still snarky. Oh, and this is a future fic, takes place about a year and a half after Untamed, and hints and things to come in this universe. Heh heh heh.

Have Yourself A Very Hairy Christmas

It was past midnight and John had the small staff Laundromat just off the atrium all to himself. Atlantis did have a drop-off service and a bigger one down in housekeeping on SL1, but he didn't mind doing his own laundry in this little one. After the greenhouse the room was the second warmest on the whole island, and after Teyla's quarters the second best smelling, and if he timed it just right he could have the place entirely to himself. His last two loads were in the driers and he had his chair tilted back between them to soak up the heat through his back like, well, a big old tomcat in front of a fireplace. His attention was on his PSP, his feet propped up on a laundry cart, and was happily racing through the streets of Tokyo when his empathy picked up a wave of agitation that was as off kilter as an unbalanced washer full of towels on spin. He didn't need to look up to know who had just barreled into the room.

"Sheppard. Sheppard! There you are! I need to talk to you!" Rodney bellowed.

John paused his game and calmly looked up. "I'd say you're up late, but I know better," he drawled out.

Rodney gave him a mincing little grimace as he stopped by the cart. "I need your help. Christmas is coming up…."

"And contrary to popular belief I am not an elf. Teyla is."

"What?" Rodney blinked a few times, then shook his head and just continued as if there wasn't an interruption that did manage to temporarily derail his normal runaway freight train of thought. "I'm going to Jeannie's place and I need you to come with me."

"Gee, Rodney – I didn't think we were that serious yet. Meeting the family? Whoa. Big step."

Rodney sort of just slumped and fixed John with a humorless glare. "Oh har har. Asshole. I'm serious!" When John chuffed and smirked he let out an exasperated sigh. Then his hands came up and fluttered wildly by his head as he stammered. "I, I, I promised Jeannie I'd be there for Christmas and New Years this year – I bailed out last year because, well, you remember the insanity, and there was no way in hell she was going to let it slide this year, and and and … well, I haven't told her about … you know. My condition. Yet."

John raised his eyebrows and lifted his chin in acknowledgement.

"I mean, how in the hell can I tell her about, about, about this? It isn't something you can just bring up in everyday conversation, here." He flung his arms out in pure exasperation. "'Hey, Jeannie, sure, I'd like to come over for the holiday, see you and Maddy and Professor Dumble-bore, but you can't use the good silver because, gee, I'm a werebear now. It might kill me.'"

"Yeah, don't think that'd fly if you put it that way." John turned his attention back to his game. "Plus I think she'd need a little more explanation."

Rodney started pacing. "Of course I'd give her more of an explanation! I'd bring flow charts and a full Power Point presentation if I thought it would help. But hello – as far as she knows, what we are only exists in the movies. And besides, the first night of the full moon is on the thirtieth. What am I gonna do – hide in the guest bathroom for for for twelve hours a day during that cycle?" He grabbed an empty chair, dragged it closer, and plopped down heavily in it. "I am so screwed."

"You are such a drama queen, McKay. Your sister is smart – just lay off the portents of doom, and maybe the caffeine, and you'll do fine."

"You have to come with me!"

"No."

"Please! If it's just me she's going to think I'm crazy. If you're there, and you can change at will…."

"No. Man up, McKay – I'm not going with you. Hell, I don't even celebrate Christmas." And thanks to his family, he'd come to loathe it. "You're on your own, pal."

-oOo-

It was Christmas Eve Day, and starting to snow big fluffy flakes, and Rodney was practically hyperventilating as he pulled into his sister's driveway and parked his rental Prius next to hers. John rolled his eyes and sighed heavily – this was going to be a long week. But he promised Teyla he'd come, and help keep Rodney sane and hopefully out of trouble. He'd really like to know what Rodney did to get Teyla on his side, because it was pure genius, all right. She was pretty insistent, and ruthless, and well… pure Sidhe. Okay, okay – how she convinced him wasn't that ruthless, and the memory brought a faint smile and a ripple of fur down his spine, but still…. He chuffed and shook his head then looked over at Rodney. "Breathe, McKay."

Rodney nodded spastically. "I'm breathing. I'm breathing." He shut the car down. "Okay. I can do this."

"Yeah, you can." John undid his seatbelt, opened the door, and proceeded to unfold his lanky frame from the car. "Next time I'm picking out the rental," he groaned out as he stretched.

Rodney got out as well and looked at John over the roof. "Jeannie is very eco conscious. She would have killed me if we'd shown up in that bright red Charger you wanted."

John chuffed. "That would have been a sweet ride," he said wistfully. He met Rodney's wide blue eyes. Okay, time to be alpha, he thought and concentrated on trying to project some calming energy Rodney's way. When Rodney jumped faintly and blinked a few time, John knew at least his friend's inner bear spirit picked up on it. Then Rodney let out a shaky breath and managed a half-assed smile, and John could feel his friend actually relax a bit. Well, as much as Rodney McKay could relax without pharmaceutical help, that is. Cool, I think I'm getting the hang of this whole alpha/noble thing here, he thought. He twitched his head toward the house as he zipped up his heavy parka. "C'mon, Baloo – it's cold out here."

"Really, if you had more than three grams of fat on your frame, you wouldn't be cold all the time."

"Jaguars are jungle cats, McKay – of course I'm always cold."

"Details." Rodney slammed the door and headed for the trunk to grab luggage.

"Leave it. It can wait. Let's say hello first."

Rodney nodded his head spastically and for a second he looked like he was going to bolt and take off down the street. But he pulled himself together, jut his jaw out like he was about to face the budget committee at year end instead of his family, and smoothed the front of his parka down. As they walked up to the porch he mumbled out of the corner of his crooked grimace, "Thanks. For coming. It really means a lot."

John just patted him on the back.

The front door opened before they even got to the three steps that led up onto the small porch and a three foot tall mass of pink ruffles and strawberry blonde curls charged out and launched at Rodney. "Uncle Mer!"

Rodney crouched down and caught Madison with an exaggerated oof. "Heya, short stuff. Whoa, whoa, layoff the choke hold, Madzilla – you're strangling me."

John was grinning as he watched Rodney try to figure out if he should be holding his niece or trying to pry her off. She was hanging from his neck, and he finally settled on giving her a bear hug, complete with a bearish growl, and swung her back and forth so her legs flopped.

"Madison – you're uncle is turning blue," Jeannie said mock seriously as she stepped out onto the porch and crossed her arms against the chill.

"No he's not."

"Yes I am."

Madison giggled and let go, and Rodney set her down on the porch. "Actually, we're all turning blue. Let's go inside." He turned her around, wrapped his big hands around hers, picked her up, sat her feet on his, and walked her towards the door.

John followed, a grin splitting his own face. He could feel Rodney had gone from mildly panicked to truly happy no matter how much of a reluctant grumpy façade he was trying to put on right now, and it was actually a bit infectious. And surprising. He'd seen the man around other kids and it was a train wreck, complete with screaming and crying after awhile. But with his niece he was completely, well, normal. He nodded at Jeannie as he walked past her while she held open the door. Yup, she was Rodney's sister, no doubt about it – the same blue eyes, the same slight downward slant to the left of her mouth, the same crackling energy surrounding her like a storm cloud and making his empathy buzz and heart kick up a notch. She gave him a big warm smile, but behind it he could sense a bit of confusion. Then he was in the Miller's family room and a tall guy in a truly hideous Christmas sweater was offering to take his coat. John shed his parka, handed it over to Kaleb, and had to admit – the guy did scream nerdy English professor. Rodney was still walking Madison all over the room, and she was giggling nonstop.

"Maddy, please don't wind Uncle Mer up," Jeannie said. "We'll never get him down for a nap."

John raised an eyebrow at Rodney. "Mer?" It was the second time he'd heard him called that.

"Ignore her," Rodney said as he finally let Maddy go so he could shrug out of his own coat.

He turned his eyebrow on Jeannie and repeated, "Mer?"

"Don't you dare tell him!" Rodney blurted out.

"It's his name – Meredith," Jeannie replied with a little grin of her own. "Meredith Rodney McKay."

"It's a girl's name!" Maddy supplied.

John swiveled back to Rodney, eyebrow still up.

"Oh, shut up," Rodney grumbled.

"I didn't say anything."

"Your eyebrow did." Rodney cleared his throat. "Jeannie, Kaleb, this is my … 'friend', John Sheppard. Sheppard, Jeannie and Kaleb. And the curly munchkin in a tutu Madison."

John held out his hand to first Kaleb, then Jeannie. "Pleased to meet you." Kaleb had a good grip that belied his academic aura, and when he shook Jeannie's hand he caught a wave of amusement. He ruffled Maddy's curls. "Hiya, kiddo."

"You know, when Mer asked if he could bring a friend, I didn't expect…." Jeannie just let the sentence hang as she eyed John up and down, and Kaleb coughed politely.

Rodney's eyes got wide and he turned crimson as he looked back and forth between his sister and John. "What? Wait. You think…? He's…? No no no no no. He's my friend, and and and co-worker."

"At that place you can't talk about," Jeannie added rather drily.

"Right!"

John couldn't resist. He put his hands on his hips, drew his chin back, and said, "Yup. I'm his alpha."

Rodney made a series of choking noises that were actually rather alarming considering the shade of his face. But then he got the words out. "You are so not my alpha! Wait, no, well, yes, you are, but but but not like that!"

"Oh, Mer," Jeannie sighed. "You know I love you. You're my brother and I will always support anything you do." Her tone was convincing, but the twinkle in her blue eyes was blinding.

"Hear that, Mer?" John said. He wrapped an arm around Rodney's shoulders and gave him a shake. "Your sis is awesome."

Rodney was now reduced to just guttural sounds as he squirmed out from under John's arm.

Jeannie crossed her arms, then one hand went up to her mouth to cover her laugh in a gesture John had seen Rodney do hundreds of times. Only he was never covering a laugh – he was usually covering his eyes. Then John could see out of the corner of his eye Rodney doing just exactly that. "You know how to push his buttons – you must be a friend, all right."

"Yeah. Fun, isn't it?"

"You are both ah … jerks."

Kaleb even let out a soft amused laugh. "The guest room only has one bed."

"We came prepared," Rodney blurted out.

"Threw in an air mattress," John said. "And a sleeping bag just in case."

Jeannie waved. "We have lots of bedding, so don't worry about it." She gave John a dazzling smile. "Welcome to the family, John. Glad you could come." Then in a second she was frowning at Rodney. "As for you, buster – kitchen. Now. Maddy has been begging for your chocolate chip cookies since November."

"Yeah!" Maddy exclaimed and jumped up and down. She grabbed Rodney's hand and started pulling him. Rodney just let his head hang and clomped along behind her as he allowed her to drag him to the kitchen.

"No brownies!" John called after him, and he saw Rodney nod like a bobble-head with a spring on its last legs. He looked back to Jeannie and Kaleb.

"Eggnog?" Kaleb offered. "I have some twelve-year-old to put in it."

"Sure!" Then Jeannie was leading him over to the couch, and the warm happy feeling that permeated the home seemed to just settle into John's bones. Okay, I think I can handle this, he decided. "Say, got any embarrassing childhood pictures or stories of Rodney, er, Meredith to share?" He loved the way that rolled off his tongue – he couldn't wait to tell everyone back on Atlantis. The wicked grin Jeannie gave him a moment later made fur ripple along his arms. Good thing he was wearing a long sleeved fleece shirt at the moment.

"Don't you dare!" came from the kitchen.

"Too late!" Jeannie was already pulling a photo album from a bookcase. She sat down next to him, and with a triumphant flourish opened it up on the coffee table.

John blinked, and it took him a second to find his voice. "Holy crap – look at those curls!"

The bellow they heard come from the kitchen a second later cracked them all up.

-oOo-

John was already awake and nestled in a cocoon of blankets when he heard the pitter patter of little feet coming down the hall early Christmas morning. He could also hear the shuffle of bigger feet, and a muffled giggle as the guest bedroom door was flung open to allow Hurricane Maddy into the room. "Wake up, Uncle Mer! Wake up! It's Christmas!"

Rodney let out a long groan and pulled a pillow over his head, but it was too late. His pint sized nemesis was up on the bed, jumping up and down and giggling. "You are so gonna get it, Jeannie."

"I am so intimidated," Jeannie replied. "Coffee is brewing. Move it, buster."

Madison jumped off the bed, and a moment later was lifting up the blanket covering John's head and peering at him. "You, too, Uncle John."

When John cracked open an eye and looked up at her from his nest on the floor, he couldn't stop the grin that formed when he saw her looking down at him. "Okay, short stuff." He rolled over and stretched. "Be out in a minute."

"Ten," Rodney mumbled.

John got a leg untangled from blankets and kicked the bed.

"Okay. Okay. Five."

"Yay!" Madison took a shortcut over the bed to leave the room.

"I'm holding you to that five, Mer, or I'm sending her back in." Jeannie closed the door.

Rodney groaned.

"Oh, you love it, so quit your whining." John scrubbed at his face. "I'll even be nice and let you have the bathroom first." When Rodney groaned again, he kicked the bed hard enough to move it nearly a foot.

"All right, all right, I'm getting up." Rodney flipped the covers back and managed to swing his legs over the side of the bed. And just sat there, eyes barely open. "Oh man – how much eggnog did I drink? My mouth feels like, like I gargled with vending machine coffee strained through Ronon's socks." He finally got up and shuffled towards the small bathroom that was attached to the guest room. "Really, certified organic eggnog with good whiskey just seems like a total contradiction to me."

"I think Kaleb was trying to get us drunk." John sat up and had to agree – his mouth felt pretty nasty, too. "Well, he got you drunk, anyway."

"Oh, please, I was perfectly in control the entire time."

John chuffed. "And you always imitate Ray Charles when you play the piano?"

Rodney closed the bathroom door a little harder than necessary.

John just chuckled. He was glad Jeannie recorded that and promised to burn him a copy – he couldn't wait to share it back on Atlantis because no one would believe him otherwise – Rodney jamming away on the piano, head back and swaying from side to side, and wearing a pair of Madison's pick sunglasses…. Priceless.

They shuffled into the living room only a few minutes late but were spared a return of Hurricane Maddy, even after a detour to the kitchen for coffee. John glanced out the front window before plopping down on the couch – it was still snowing and he could barely tell he and Kaleb had cleared the front walk and driveway before the more serious effects of the spiked eggnog hit the night before. John cradled his mug and settled down to witness what a normal Christmas with a normal family was going to be like, and not even ten minutes into the morning he was already riding one helluva empathic buzz. Maddy was passing out presents with Jeannie's direction and the pile under the tree was diminishing quickly. When she came to one present in cat themed wrapping paper he nonchalantly sipped his coffee when she handed it to Rodney. Rodney read the label and sneered briefly at him – John snuck out during the night and slipped it under the tree while Baloo snored away in whiskey induced oblivion. Then Maddy was putting one in front of him and he had to hide his genuine surprise behind a return sneer.

Jeannie witnessed the exchange and just rolled her eyes.

John sat his coffee on the end table and turned the present over in his hands – he could count on both hands how many Christmas presents he'd received over the course of his life and still have a few fingers left over. And in a true McKay fashion it was wrapped in last Sunday's comic section. He chuffed softly then self consciously looked up to make sure the Millers didn't hear his odd little affectation. Everyone on Atlantis was used to it and never gave him a second glance, but he did notice Rodney was watching him, his smirk sliding into the incredibly obnoxious side.

"You going to open it, or not?" Rodney said.

"Naw, it's such a work of art, I thought I'd frame it and hang it in my bathroom." He heard Jeannie snort then he was shredding the paper without even looking. When he did glance down his eyebrows shot up. It was the latest flight simulator software that wasn't due out for another four months. He knew – he had it on pre-order. "Wow. Um, thanks."

Rodney's smirk grew inordinately smug. "Yeah, I know the programmer." Then he was tearing away at the present from John. "Score!" he said triumphantly at the first three seasons of the new Dr. Who. The man was going to be in geek heaven.

John picked up his coffee to hide another grin. Okay, he could change his whole opinion about Christmas – this wasn't so bad after all.

-oOo-

While the tofurkey was baking later that afternoon the boys were sent outside to shovel since the snow was showing faint signs of slowing. There was well over two feet of the fluffy stuff on the level now, and while John and Kaleb tackled the driveway and unburied the rental car – only Jeannie's car fit in the small garage – Rodney attacked the sidewalk. He finished that before they were even half done with their project and started on the walkway up to the porch. He was powering along, amazed at his stamina thanks to his new werebear strength, when a big clod of snow hit him from behind. He spun around and saw John very intent on his own patch of driveway. Rodney adjusted his knit cap and shook snow out of his collar. "Har har. Very funny." Keeping John out of the corner of his vision, he bent back to his section of snow. Another smaller clod of snow hit him from the side, and when he looked that way Kaleb wasn't even bothering to hide his amusement. "Oh, what are you two – eight?"

John glanced at Kaleb, then both men scooped up shovelfuls and hurled them at Rodney.

Rodney spit out snow and bellowed. "Of course you know this means war!"

Jeannie and Maddy watched from the front window and laughed nonstop for close to half an hour. At one point John dropped his shovel, charged at Rodney, and caught him in a flying tackle. Both men disappeared briefly in the snow, then the fight was on. The pristine front yard became a pitted warzone, and when the boys finally came in they were shaking snow out of just about every layer of clothing they had on. Rodney even found some in his long underwear when he changed to dry clothes.

And Jeannie was kind enough to have hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps waiting for the shivering warriors.

The snow didn't quit falling for another day, and by the time it finally quit there was over three feet. Streets were impassible, especially for the tiny Prius, so they had to entertain themselves at home. With Maddy around, it was pretty easy. Rodney and Kaleb built her one awesome snow fort in the back yard, and the snowball fight that ensued shortly thereafter, started by John and Jeannie, was epic to behold. And thanks to Jeannie being a softball pitcher in college and Maddy defecting to their side, they won. The next day they all tromped down the street to a local park and went sledding. It was crowded with other like minded families, but still fun, and when they all tromped back hours later Maddy was falling asleep in Rodney's arms and John was actually drunk on empathic overload.

All in all, it was a great Christmas.

-oOo-

It was well past midnight and the constant waves of anxiety coming from the only other occupant of the room was still keeping John awake. He pulled the blankets up over his head and groaned. "Rodneeeey – go to sleep." Which was what he wanted to do with a passion – three days of playing in the snow was bringing on a cold and he felt miserable. "Now," he whined.

The bed creaked as Rodney flopped. "I can't! Tonight … today is the first night of the full moon!"

"And whose fault is it for being a major procrastinator?"

"I've been trying to figure out how to broach the subject, okay? It's not that easy!"

"Well, you have until five…."

"Five-oh-one."

John sighed. "Five-oh-one to figure out how. Now, go to sleep, before I strangle you into unconsciousness." And he was angry enough some of that leaked out and Rodney's inner bear must have picked up on it because he heard his friend whimper faintly. "Just … go to sleep," he grated out and rolled over, his back to the bed. He only fell asleep himself a few hours later when Rodney finally got up and went out to the living room to work on his laptop.

When John crawled out of bed shortly after noon his head felt like it was full of hot concrete and his voice was somewhere between seventy-year-old barfly and Tom Waits. He shuffled into the kitchen, said 'morning, and Jeannie immediately grabbed the teapot and set it to boil.

"I'll make you some of Gram's patented cold cure-all," she said as she started getting ingredients together.

"It's ninety percent vodka," Rodney said from the table, where he and Madison and the plush Spongebob she got from her uncle for Christmas were having a lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

"It is not." Jeannie smiled at John and whispered, "Maybe five percent."

John tried to snort, but nothing came out but a faint whistle and he swore his eyeballs tried to pop from their sockets. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat down at the table. "So, what's in this miracle cure-all?"

"Tea, honey, a few extra spices…."

"Vodka," Rodney said again.

Jeannie frowned at her brother. "And yes, vodka. Gram was quite the character."

Rodney snorted. "That's an understatement."

John looked at Rodney since the feeling he was getting off the man was one of humor and fondness. "I think you've mentioned her before. Didn't she teach you how to build a bomb?"

Rodney's jaw dropped open as he glanced at his sister. "Um. No."

Now it was Jeannie's turn to snort. "Now that does not surprise me in the least bit, considering she taught me how to load and shoot that black powder forty-four of hers on my eighth birthday." She got a mug out of the cupboard. "Can I get you some soup, John? There's plenty."

"No, thanks. I think the tea will do for now." And a few minutes later she brought him a steaming mug. He couldn't taste anything on the first few sips, but he could feel the alcohol on his tongue. By the fourth sip his sinuses were starting to open up and he caught something else. Mint. Lots of mint. He looked over at Rodney and wondered why he was smirking a moment ago.

"This should be interesting," Rodney said. "Did you know mint and catnip are related?"

John stuck his tongue out briefly, and Maddy laughed.

"What about catnip?" Jeannie asked as she sat down with her own lunch.

"Never mind," John muttered as he sipped more tea. I did seem to help, but he was also getting a buzz. "Hey, where's Kaleb?"

"He went to the store now that the streets are plowed." Jeannie dipped her grilled cheese into her soup and took a small bite. "I tell you, weather like this makes me wish they built an economical three-quarter ton all wheel drive hybrid. Hey, you're an engineer, Mer, you should design one. You could retire after the first winter."

"Not my style."

"Oh, forgot. Sorry. I imagine those projects you can't talk about at the place you can't mention are pretty important. One of these days you'll probably be able to tell me you didn't work at Area 51 as well."

Rodney's eyes went wide and John almost breathed in some spiked tea, but before Jeannie could notice Rodney said rather snidely, "And they say I'm sarcastic."

Jeannie batted her eyes at him. "I can just get away with it better."

"It's the curls," John said. Then he felt his ears get warm when Jeannie gave him a blinding smile a second later. Rodney was scowling at him and the comment came out before he could stop it. "Well, she is cuter than you. And, ah, I'll just drink my tea now." Now his ears were burning. It's the vodka and the mint, he thought as he took another drink.

"Thank you, John. It's good to know Mer has nice friends."

"You're welcome." He smiled at her then added a bit nonchalantly, "When Kaleb gets back, Rodney has something to tell you." He heard Rodney drop his spoon into his soup. "Don't ya, Mer?" He put a little bit of command into the comment.

"Um. Ah…." Rodney swallowed audibly and glanced back and forth between his sister and John. "Er. Ah. Yeah."

"Wow, must be important – you've become monosyllabic man," Jeannie said. Then she noticed her brother truly was panicked. She reached across the table and put a hand on his. "Whatever it is, Mer," she said, her voice soft, "we'll listen." She squeezed his hand. "I promise."

-oOo-

It was right around four-thirty and Rodney could delay the inevitable no longer. He stood nervously in the kitchen, arms swinging and rocking back and forth from heel to toe and looking every bit like an eight-year-old who had just been called to the principal's office. John was leaning up against the counter, arms crossed, and looking a little bleary eyed from two doses of Gramma McKay's Miracle Cure-All. He was just in sweats and a t-shirt, his bare feet over the furnace vent. Rodney was also in sweats and the faded oversized shirt Ronon gave him months ago with a now scabby bear paw and "Go Griz" on it. Rodney gave his audience a once over – Jeannie sat at the table, Madison on her lap, Spongebob on hers, and Kaleb stood protectively over them, his hands on the back of the chair and a clearly befuddled frown on his face. "Okay. Um, glad you could all make it here today," he started rather lamely.

Jeannie gave him a crooked little frown, and on her it was actually a bit adorable. "Mer, we live here."

"Right. Right. I know. Just, ah, trying to break the ice, here. Because, seriously, been trying to work out how to say this for, for, for months and there's really just no way to put this in terms that won't make you think the stress of my work has finally gotten to me and driven me totally stark raving…."

Jeannie sighed. "Mer, you're babbling."

"I know. I know. Always babble when I'm nervous." Rodney grimaced crookedly and it made him look a tad constipated. He cleared his throat. "Okay. How to begin. Um, with the basics. Yes. That's it. Always start simple and work your way up…."

John sighed this time.

"Hey! This is harder than you think! I don't have your experience." Rodney took in a deep breath and was glad this was all happening before dinner because he felt like he was going to puke. "Okay. Here goes – what if I told you things like werewolves and elves and pixies really existed?"

"Cool!" Madison blurted out. "Is Spongebob real, too?"

"No. Thank God," Rodney muttered.

"Mer – are you on medication?" Jeannie carefully asked.

"No!"

She looked to John, and he shook his head. "Just checking." She wrapped her arms around Madison. "So. They're real. Okay." She glanced up at Kaleb who only raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "And you know this … how?" Her tone was controlled, but her expression clearly conveyed let's humor the crazy man.

Rodney decided screw it and plunged right in. "Well, um, two years ago I got introduced to a whole new world out there." He suddenly ducked his head and snickered. "Actually, no – it's technically a whole old world. They never went away, really, been here all this time, living in tandem with humanity, but humanity is so convinced that they don't exist that they've continued along, pretending to be human. As a matter of fact, they refer to themselves as Pretenders and there are a lot more than you think…."

"You're babbling again, McKay," John said.

"At least I'm babbling about the important stuff now!"

John grinned. "Yes, you are. Finally."

"And you are familiar with all this?" Kaleb asked John, his serious professor face fully in place.

"Oh, yeah. Very much so."

"He … is a vargyr," Rodney pronounced. "A true born shape shifter." He spread his arms in his tent-like shirt. "And I, thanks to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, was bitten by a cursed werebear – the kind that change with the full moon – and now am one as well. Just like the Creature Features we'd watch."

The kitchen was so silent they could all hear the duct work ticking as it cooled now that the furnace was off.

"Really!" Rodney stood there for a moment with his arms still up, then slowly lowered them. "You all think I'm crazy."

"Well…." Jeannie let the word drag out.

"It is a rather wild tale to swallow," Kaleb added.

Madison just hugged her Spongebob and watched with serious blue eyes.

"I…." Rodney pointed back and forth between him and John. "…We have proof. At five-oh-one when the moon rises I'll change. And Sheppard here – he can change any time." Rodney shrugged a shoulder towards John. "Come on, show them."

"Now?"

"Yes, now." Rodney twitched his chin towards his friend and snapped his fingers. "Chop chop."

"Really, you don't have to humor him," Jeannie said, and now she sounded a tiny bit alarmed.

"No, no – it's okay." John uncrossed his arms and glanced around, then calmly went over to the window that looked out over the back yard and drew the curtains.

"Good idea!" Rodney said, and drew the shade over the kitchen sink. "Don't want the neighbors to see and freak out."

"Yeah, especially since you're doing such a great job with us," Jeannie muttered.

John returned to his spot and smiled warmly at Jeannie and Madison, and nodded at Kaleb. Rodney could feel him working some of his alpha mojo and didn't think it would work, but hello – he saw his sister relax and smile back, and Kaleb lessened the death grip he was holding the chair with. Even his own inner Yogi quit its jittery dance.

"Now, I want you all to remember it's still me," John said. "Only my outside changes. In here …." He tapped his chest. "It doesn't. So please, don't be afraid. Do you understand, Maddy?"

Madison nodded.

John glanced sideways at Rodney. "You and Teyla owe me," he whispered. And Changed.

Rodney had seen it dozens of times and it still amazed him how quick and fluid the Change was. The old movies Jeannie made him watch with the lights out always had shape shifting with lots of squishy sound effects and screaming, sometimes his, but the real thing was a blink-and-you-miss-it affair. His own change was a little slower, but Sheppard's …. One second there was a skinny guy standing there with cowlicks and a red stuffy nose, and the next he was nearly six inches shorter and covered in thick black fur.

"Holy crap!" Kaleb yelled and flinched backwards. Jeannie jumped and gasped, then her hands went to her mouth. Madison hugged her doll harder and it looked like Spongebob's eyes bugged out more than normal.

Rodney tried to contain his smug smile, but lost. He reached over and patted John on the top of his head. "See, Maddy? Good kitty." The narrowed green glare he got in return made him snatch his hand back.

Another heavy silence descended upon the kitchen until Madison broke it. "Your feet look funny."

Jeannie gasped again. "Madison!"

Everyone, including John, looked down at the aforementioned feet. That was the most dramatic change on him – his thighs thickened with muscle and his shins shortened. His feet were as long as his shins now, and he stood balanced on heavy paw-like toes. He let out a startled huh like he'd just noticed them for the very first time. First he lifted up one and inspected it, then the other. "Yeah, they do, don't they?"

Kaleb let out another surprised sound upon hearing John's voice, unaltered but still faintly rough from his cold, coming from the panther face. He pulled out the chair next to Jeannie, who sat there with her mouth hanging open, and sat down with a grunt.

"But if I stand like this…." John settled down fully on his elongated feet. "It makes me walk like a penguin." He proceeded to demonstrate by taking a few goofy shuffling steps, then plopped back onto his rear. He gave Madison a big cat grin that wrinkled up his nose and made his whiskers stick out, lifted a foot, and waggled his toes. "Hiya, Maddy."

Madison grinned back and let out a joyous peal of laughter.

Rodney sighed – he knew bringing Sheppard along was a good idea. And he was glad Teyla saw it that way, too. Boy, he owed her. Big time. Then John's beeping watch snapped his attention back. "Oh, crap," he muttered in surprise.

"Show time, Baloo," John said.

Ever since Rodney's first Change John kept his alarm set to go off at moonrise. First it was a ten minute warning, then eventually a two, and finally a beep and bang, hello fuzz ball. Rodney doubled over – it was still uncomfortable for him, even after a year and a half. Not painful, no, but it itched like crazy when the fur erupted and his teeth changed. Then he was fine. He stayed bent over, hands on knees, and only lifted his eyes to see how everyone was reacting.

"Holy crap!" Kaleb let out again.

Madison squirmed out of Jeannie's suddenly confining grip and slid off her lap. She did turn and hand over Spongebob, which Jeannie grabbed and hugged close, before walking right up to Rodney. She wasn't quite eye to eye with him, so she cradled his head in her hands to pull him down a little closer and spent close to thirty seconds just peering into his wide blue eyes. "I see you in there, Uncle Mer," she finally said. Then she petted – actually petted – his head. "Your fur is soft!"

Rodney let out a relieved and very bearish sigh that actually rumbled in his now deep chest. He dropped down onto his knees and pulled her in for a very careful and literal bear hug. She practically disappeared. "When did you get to be so smart, pipsqueak?" Of all the family, he didn't realize her reaction was the one he was most worried about until now, and the utter relief he felt made him glad he was as close to the ground as he was.

"Um, Mer?" Jeannie sounded scared.

"I'm okay, Momma," came the muffled reply.

Rodney released his niece and turned her around. "See, she's fine." Then he gave her a gentle shove forward. "Now go hug your mom – she looks like she needs it."

Maddy bounced the few steps over and wrapped her arms around her mom. Then she turned around and gave her dad one, too, since he was doing his best impression of an albino koi at the moment and couldn't seem to get any words out. He was trying, but he just kept shaking his head, his mouth working, and that was it.

Rodney plopped back onto his own rear and stuck his embarrassingly short bowlegs out in front of him. His chest and arms filled the previously baggy t-shirt, and sitting like that he looked like a giant furry wedge. He looked at John. "See – that wasn't so bad." Then he flinched and said ow when John Gibbsmacked him. "Hey!"

Jeannie let out a surprised laugh, then covered her mouth. "Oh, my God. Wait – did you call him Baloo earlier? Does that make you Bagheera?" She stifled a giggle that had a bit of a hysterical edge to it. "But, Mer – you don't look like a bear. You look more like a, well, red haired gorilla with a weird nose."

Rodney's shoulders slumped, and John chuffed. Rodney shot him the stink eye, then lifted his broad hands and waggled his fingers, the three inch long claws clattering ominously. "Do gorillas have these?"

Jeannie went pale. "Um, no."

John calmly reached out and pushed Rodney's hands down. "He's the only one of his kind," he said in the sudden quiet. "He's actually a cave bear. Turn your head, McKay. You can see it better from the side."

Rodney looked at him, and sneered, and Jeannie and Kaleb both let out soft oh's. "There were, ah, weres back then?" Kaleb asked.

"Oh, yeah. They were the first, we think." John held up a hand and mock whispered behind it, "Used to call 'em god bears. But don't say that around Rodney – his ego is bad enough."

Rodney grumbled, literally grumbled like a big old bear, and rolled his eyes.

"Oh my God," Jeannie repeated. "Your mouth still has that crooked thing going when you're mad." Then she was peering closer at John as well. "That is so strange – I can still see both of your, ah, human faces, too. Especially around the eyes." She leaned back in her chair and just shook her head. "When did this happen, Mer?"

"Um, back in, ah, May." Rodney crossed his arms and absently chewed on a claw. "Of last year?" he added with a small shrug of his massive shoulders.

Jeannie blinked. "And you're just now telling me?" She looked like she was about to throw Spongebob at him, thought twice about it, stood up, and kicked him in the foot. Hard.

"Ow!"

John let out a bark of laughter, but quickly sobered when Jeannie glared at him and crossed her arms. Spongebob dangled precariously from her hand until Madison rescued him. "Were you around when it happened?" she asked.

"No, ma'am. I wasn't. But I was there to help him get through his first Change."

"He and all my … friends," Rodney added.

"Was Carson there?" When Rodney nodded spastically she visibly relaxed. "Okay. I feel a little better now. But really, Mer – you could have told me sooner. I thought you didn't want to come last year because of something I might have done or said."

Rodney held up his hands and waved them. "Oh, no, you didn't. Last year was crazy – we got invaded, then I quit, well, for a short time anyway, and we thought John died – long story, and he almost did – and then I … got … kidnapped…." He trailed off at the horrified expression he saw on his sister's face. "Um. It wasn't a good year."

"Oh." Jeannie looked back and forth between them a few times. "Where do you two work?"

"The greatest place on Earth," Rodney replied with a wistful sigh. John nodded in agreement.

Jeannie continued to stare at them. "Okay. Whatever you say." She slowly sat down again and blindly reached for her still utterly speechless husband's hand and found it.

Madison calmly went and sat down between the two furry were-critters in the kitchen like it was the most perfectly natural thing in the world. Rodney looked down at her and got a big sunny smile. When she did the same thing to John he purred, and when she gave him a hug Rodney felt a little stab of betrayal. John noticed and smirked at him, so Rodney stuck out his tongue. He had a long floppy bear tongue now, and it kind of unrolled like a giant mutant pink party favor.

The kitchen got really quiet again, until John suddenly darted a hand out and flicked Rodney's tongue before he could pull it back.

Madison's laughter filled the void.

Rodney frowned, and grumbled, and crossed his arms and pouted, but inside he was giggling as loud as his niece.

-oOo-

It was almost ten o'clock, and John sat curled up in a blanket in one of the big chairs in the living room. Fur or not, he felt chilled and had his hands wrapped around a mug of steaming plain tea. Rodney was sprawled out on the floor by the Christmas tree, a stolen couch cushion for a pillow, snoring away. Madison was curled up on his broad chest and sound asleep on her own version of a bear skin rug. Jeannie quietly came into the room with her digital camera and snapped a picture. Rodney snorted at the sound but didn't wake. Jeannie sat down next to Kaleb and showed him the picture, and both of them went aww. "Too bad I can never show this to anyone except family," Jeannie said softly and turned off the camera.

"And a few select friends," John said. "Carson would love a copy, I bet."

Jeannie smiled and nodded. "How is Carson, anyway? Besides you, he's the only other one of Mer's friends I've ever met. He is such a sweetie."

"He's doing good. Been in hog heaven now that he has some ammunition to tease Rodney with when he gets going with the vet jokes."

"Good!" Jeannie snuggled in under Kaleb's arm. "Wow, Mer has friends. Plural. Never thought I'd see the day."

John chuffed and sipped some tea. "Yeah. Our boy's grown up." He saw Jeannie nod in reply. It had been a long evening filled with hundreds of questions. He and Rodney answered them all, too. Within reason. Rodney even pulled out his laptop for a slide show – he had loaded dozens of pictures to share of all their friends. He even had a few shots of the selkies that lived off the north end of the island as they lazed on the rocks in the sun, and of the pixies Eira and Ifan and their entire extended family.

Madison immediately wanted one, and Rodney promised if they ever came to visit him in Vancouver, in the summer, he might be able to arrange a meeting with Eira and Ifan. John figured he'd probably have to be the one to figure out how to smuggle them off Atlantis for a day, and set up a private meeting spot away from prying eyes. Yeah, Caldwell was going to have an entire herd if he caught them, and he'd already been fired once….

John was just sipping some tea when he saw Jeannie suddenly go very still, her blue eyes wide. She made a soft oh, then covered her mouth and giggled. "Oh! Oh, my God. I just got the alpha remark. It really is just an animal thing, huh?" She smacked Kaleb lightly on the chest. "And you really thought they were gay."

"Hey, now you've wondered, too, considering Mer's track record with women." Kaleb coughed and offered a very apologetic shrug to John. "I'm so sorry."

"Eh, don't worry about it. I spent so much time with him after his first Change helping him learn how to be a vargyr other people thought the same thing."

"Vargyr," Kaleb repeated. "I've been wondering – is that Old Norse?"

John nodded. "A variant. The Old World shape shifters were the ones who started using it as a general name to cover everyone who could shift. Most of the time we refer to each other by clan." They had gone over the whole clan thing earlier, on how John was an Onca and Rodney considered an Ursus, and briefly touched on the crazy politics that neither one cared to have anything to do with. They wisely kept to themselves the part about being rogues and having no true clan affiliation was dangerous as hell – the whole evening was strange enough, they didn't need to add scary, too.

"I see." Kaleb was quiet for a moment. "So all of the old races of myth and legend do exist. Amazing." He shook his head. "One of these days I would dearly love to learn more, especially from Teyla. This is all so … eye opening. I'll never read 'A Midsummer's Night Dream' the same way ever again."

"Or not break out into hysterical laughter whenever Maddy plugs in 'The Jungle Book'," Jeannie added. "You two are so Baloo and Baggy."

John frowned at her. "That's what everyone says," he muttered churlishly into his mug of tea.

-oOo-

The next two nights of the full moon were rather uneventful. New Year's Eve was just them, just family. Jeannie was glad she didn't invite anyone else over – how would she ever explain her brother and his "condition"? At least John could control his Change, but then, she announced, when she thought about it she could never explain Mer to anyone anyway. So, it really wouldn't have made too much of a difference.

John caught that precise moment on camera, of Rodney frowning murderously and looking like a grizzly about to eat a hiker slathered in bacon grease, and Jeannie with her head cocked and batting her eyes and smiling oh so sweetly. That was going to be a screen saver.

Then there was the shot of Uncle Mer after Madison put bows in his pretty red-gold fur….

It was Saturday, the car was loaded, and they all stood in the foyer to say their goodbyes. Jeannie hugged Rodney fiercely. "Don't wait so long for your next visit, full moon or not. Okay, Baloo?" When Rodney grumbled she added, "Would you prefer Mer?"

"Actually, yes."

"Wow, that's a first." Jeannie gave him one last squeeze and let go. Then she turned to John, gave him a hug, and a quick peck on the cheek. "You come, too, and bring Teyla. He can sleep on the couch."

John smiled. "I will." He was starting to sound more like himself thanks to Gramma McKay's Miracle Cure-all. Teyla would say it was because he spent most of his time in his true form, but hey, the cure-all was more fun. He held out his hand to Kaleb. "Was nice to meet you, Kaleb. Thanks for the hospitality, and that fine whiskey."

Kaleb shook his hand. "Anytime. And yes, bring Teyla next visit." When Jeannie smacked him in the arm, he gave her an innocent look. "What? She's a Sidhe – I have to meet her."

"Uh huh."

"Oh, don't worry, Jeannie," Rodney said as he zipped up his coat. "She only has eyes for Baggy there."

John just grinned happily and bobbed his eyebrows.

Then Hurricane Maddy hit them with hugs. "Will you bring the pixies?" she asked after she made her Uncle Mer hug Spongebob goodbye, too.

"I don't think so," Rodney replied. "They get car sick, and when they throw-up it's this sparkly stuff that just doesn't come off of car upholstery. I don't think the rental place would be too happy with us if that happened. Never let us rent again, and we'd have to walk."

John had to clamp down on his lips.

"Nuh-uh," Madison exclaimed. "You're just making that up, Uncle Baloo."

Rodney slumped and rolled his eyes, and John busted out laughing.

Madison hugged John, but didn't make him hug Spongebob. "Bye, Uncle Baggy."

It was Rodney's turn to snicker.

"See ya, kiddo," John said. "And you can call me Uncle Baggy any time."

They got hit with another round of hugs before they finally got out the door, and as they were walking down the walk to the driveway Rodney sighed. "See, that wasn't so bad. Don't know why you were worried…."

John shoved Rodney into a snow bank before he could even finish the last syllable of the sentence.

-oOo-

A little over a week later John strolled into Rodney's lab like he owned the place. "Hey, Mer!" God, he loved saying that. "You got a package. I snatched it for you right after it cleared screening." He was spinning said package by the corners. Rodney didn't even look up from his computer and just waved at a random spot on the counter. "It's from your sis."

Rodney suddenly looked up, his eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"Yup." John plopped it down next to Rodney, then hopped up on the counter.

Rodney glowered at him. "What is it?" he asked as he picked it up. It was wrapped in brown paper and a little bit bigger than a shoebox. And it rattled when he shook it.

"Gee, good thing it's not a bomb," John said drily.

"You already knew that," Rodney said as he ripped paper away and pulled the lid off the box that Madison's last pair of winter boots came in. There was a hand written note on top of some tissue paper that read, We saw this and thought of you. Love, Maddy and Jeannie. Rodney finished unwrapping his surprise gift, then just sat there and stared for a few seconds in utter silence.

Jeannie and Madison sent him a brown porkpie hat, a big floppy red polka dot bow tie, and the first season of The Muppet Show.

John started laughing and managed not to fall off the counter until Rodney pushed him over.

End Note: ... And a Yappy Hoo Near! Oops, sorry, was samplin' some of Gramma McKay's Miracle Cure-all. Have a great 2010, y'all!