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Chapter 11
Dinner that evening didn't involve much conversation. Not that this came as a surprise to me. Gaston spoke briefly of his day and I mentioned few details of my own. We sat at opposite ends of the table, slowly eating our meals, with a few inane comments about how nice it was, but nothing of substance. I understood he did not want to discuss anything important with me, knowing I was more than likely to object. I knew that he was trying his best but it didn't appease me. It was only this that reminded me we were to be married in two weeks, and he would probably like to keep the stormy sea that brewed between us as still as possible until the wedding was over.
My eyes wandered to the window frequently throughout dinner. What was he doing? Slowly freezing to death, my mind thought. His threats rung in my ears, yet I knew that I would return to him. How could I not? No matter what his fate concealed, he did not deserve to suffer alone. In a strange way, a feeling of peace washed over me when I thought of the beast (I could call him nothing but that, for now), yet I could not explain it.
"Belle?" Gaston's deep voice broke through my reverie.
My head jerked back in his direction, reality reasserting itself, "yes, Gaston?"
"Were you listening?" his eyes held no accusations, not giving my temper chance to flare.
"Sorry," I shook my head, "what was it?"
A gentle smile touched his lips, "I was just saying that I'm going away for a week or so. I have some affairs to deal with. Is that okay?"
It seemed slightly peculiar that he would ask my permission, if that is what it was, yet I softened slightly. It was reassuring that he cared enough to let me know he would not be around, "Of course, Gaston. Thank you for informing me." Our conversations still seemed slightly formal, but we both acknowledged it was the best way for us, whilst we were still learning to understand one another.
"I'll be in my office, if you need anything this evening," he rose to leave, "Goodnight, Belle."
I answered with my own smile, "Goodnight, Gaston. Will I see you tomorrow before you leave?"
"If you wish," his eyes lit up as he left the room. It occurred to me, as I sipped my wine, that had the situation with the Beast never occurred, we were certainly on our way to being companions. I could not use the term lovers, because I doubted that I would truly ever love him. Yet I could try and be the next best thing for him. I would try and be his wife.
***
The snow had stopped, yet the ground was still thick as I stepped out for the second time that day. The starlight lit my way, the moonlight gleamed off the white blanket that caressed the ground. The night was eerily still, as I waded through the snow. So still, in fact, I could almost hear a rumbling, steadily rising and falling. I knew he was sleeping. I was sure if he were awake, he would be able to hear my heartbeat thudding through my ribcage. Knowing he was at least in a comfortable enough state to sleep made the knot in my stomach relax slightly.
And there he was. Curled deep in the corner of his prison, his great mass rising and falling with each deep breath. I watched him for a few moments, a smile creeping onto my face and a contented sigh escaping my lips.
"Belle?" his low growl made me stomach twist back into its knot once more.
It was hard to speak for a moment, but as soon as I could get one out, the rest came gushing out too, "Yes. I…I know you told me not to come back but I thought you might be hungry and cold. So I brought some things," I gestured unnecessarily at the basket on my arm, "I'm so sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to upset you. I am just…" it took a while for the right word to come to me, "…drawn to you. And I don't know if I can really stay away."
Silence rung in the air once more, and my breathing caught, almost scared about his reaction. The sound of his movement broke the quiet and those penetrating eyes were on mine once more. He took a breath, "I'm glad you came back."
"Are you hungry?" I placed the basket in front of the bars and watched him lean forward slowly, trying to decipher if it was mistrust that clouded his eyes. He finally dragged out an apple, blood red in the moonlight. "I really didn't mean to upset you," I started again.
"I know," he mumbled, tossing the apple core to the corner and reaching back for more, "I really didn't mean to threaten you."
"I know," I replied, a small smile crossing my lips. It seemed impossible that the conversation between us could be so easy. I didn't really even know who or what he was. A firm resolution passed through my mind as I stood watching him slowly devouring each morsel in the basket; I would do my best to save this man, whether it is from Gaston or the self-hatred that I could see bubbled so close to the surface.
As he looked back up at me, I realized I had been staring at him for too long. My gaze flickered back to the empty basket and my smile deepened, "Glad you enjoyed it."
"Thank you," his voice was earnest, and the smile in his voice was evident, "Belle?"
"Yes?"
He hesitated slightly, deliberating over his words. Without thinking, I stepped towards the bars and ran my hand over the soft fur on his hand, curled tight around the bars that separated us. He was so warm against the cold night, I almost sighed with pleasure. Although I had no idea what my intention for the action was, a certain comfort washed over him and he spoke once more.
"Do you know what is going to happen to me?"
I froze. Of course I knew. Or at least I knew what horrors were planned for him. My eyes were wide, staring, seeing nothing but the pleading in his. My stomach was knotting as my mind raced, my heart bounding in my ears. And my blood ran icy cold.