Title: Fun Fair
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: cute
Pairing: Valenwind, brotherly love that is not Remnantcest
Warning: Cid is a bit slow, Vincent is in love, the girls get burned, Reeve obsesses with dolls, Loz is crying, Yazoo is angry and Kadaj ate too much cotton candy. And seriously, you can often win smoked eels at stalls in Sweden. I kid you not.
**
Avalanche never did find out what proceeded the little 'incident', All they heard were a crash, a bang, the sound of Cid falling down the stairs and enough loud and inventive swearing to set the house on fire. There where nothing for it but to rush the captain away to the hospital and get his broken leg fixated in a cast and no one had time to find the source of his tripping.
Cid, in return, blamed his clumsiness on everything from a slippery spot of Cloud's ultra-strong hair gel, to Reeve's stuffed toys being spread around the house, to Tifa spilling alcohol on purpose, to Yuffie dropping materia balls everywhere, to Nanki's hair clip getting in the way, to Barret's ammunition rolling around, to Vincent for being so fucking emo all the time.
Only Vincent seemed to take the accusations seriously and had looked absolutely crestfallen.
In an effort to cheer up the even grumpier than normal captain, Avalanche decided to take him out on a night at the local fun fair. It was, of course, Reeve's idea.
**
The night was lit by thousands of garish lights in pink and green, music was playing, children were laughing, there were carrousels and lottery stands, and cotton candy and a hundred tempting smells of food and sweets everywhere.
Yuffie and Reeve were both whooping with excitement, daring each other to go on the most spectacularly insane rides, Tifa was eyeing the Love Tunnel and giving Cloud significant glances, Barret and Marlene were already digging deep into a bag of candy and even Cid was starting to grin. He had rejected the wheelchair with the explanation that he was just one blanket away from world domination plans anyway, and was hopping along best he could on his crutches. Vincent was hovering behind him like a nervous, guilt-ridden shadow.
"Wait, wait." Cid finally found an empty bench and sat down with a sigh, rubbing his biceps. "This is more work than it fucking looks like. My arms are goin' ta fall off if I don't take a break." He fumbled for a cig, and lit it on Nanki's tail.
"Hey!" The fire-lion protested, but Cid just waved away the outrage.
"What? It's all yer fault ya know, me bein' a cripple. If ya didn't shed so much fur I…"
"Yes, yes." Nanki interrupted him, a bit annoyed. "You have been milking this thing for weeks now."
"Sure has," Cid answered cheerfully. "And will continue ta do so until I'm out of this damned cast and can walk like a normal person again. Serves ya all righ."
"I'm sorry," Vincent said automatically even though everyone else in Avalanche just rolled their eyes at the pilot.
"Hey, look at that!" Yuffie pointed. "They got really cute teddy bears as prizes in that shooting stall."
"Aw, they're adorable!" Tifa agreed.
"Almost as nice as Caith," Reeve agreed.
"Hey, the Highwind could use a new mascot. I threw the last one out the window after that disaster with the gulls in the engine." Cid grinned. "If a mascot can't keep away damned birds, then it ain't no luck-bringer. I mean, next time it might be missiles or somethin'."
"Those things are always rigged, you can't win them…" Cloud started, but Vincent had already turned around, stalked over to the stall and put down enough gils for one single round of shooting. Without even bothering to look very carefully, he fired the plastic toygun, hitting the bull's eye every time and pointed his metal claw at a stuffed bear.
The girls cheered as Vincent returned with the price and the guys applauded.
"Thank you, Vin-vin…" Yuffie started delighted, but her jaw dropped open as Vincent, with cheeks so red they matched his collar, handed the bear over to Cid.
"It got pilot goggles," Vincent muttered, "so I thought it would suit the Highwind."
"Aw, yer the best, Vince!" Impulsively, Cid grabbed Vincent's arm and pulled him into a rough hug. "Thanks!"
Vincent turned even redder and stammered something that would only make sense in a language made up only by vowels.
"I…uh…oh…" very quickly he turned around and all but ran towards the next stall. Less than a minute later, he returned with a huge box of chocolates, which he all but prodded at Cid's chest.
"Hey, great! I love sweets!" Cid tore the box open and got out a treat, which he held out to the flustered Vincent. "No, no hands. Ya might have germs on 'em, after touching those toy guns. Use yer teeth."
Vincent looked like he would positively faint as Cid fed him the chocolate and Avalanche exchanged wide-eyed looks over their heads. Vincent barely had time to swallow before he rushed away to the next stall. Apparently non-comprehending of what he was doing, Cid sat back and started munching chocolate.
"I think this will take some time," Tifa said with a suppressed giggle. "Mind if we come back later, Cid?"
"Nah, have fun. Vince will keep me entertained." Cid waved at them, the pilot bear under his arm and chocolate around his mouth.
"I'm sure he will."
**
When Avalanche came back to the bench about an hour later, it took them some time to identify the pilot amongst the pile of gifts. Cid sat in a virtual menagerie of stuffed animals – every conceivable animal from common bears to fuzzy ladybugs crowding the bench to the point were there where little room over for the pilot. There were chocolate boxes at his feet, bouquets of flowers in his lap, fake medallions around his neck, dolls in his hands, and a stack of smoked eels piled very carefully at the very edge of the bench, as far away from the pilot as possible. The captain himself looked positively stunned and slightly overwhelmed. Vincent where nowhere in sight.
"Cid?" Cloud asked carefully.
"Hush! Don't scare him away!" Cid waved his hands frantically at his friends, his voice low as if Vincent was some kind of rare, elusive bird. "I think I'm gettin' wooed here!"
"No!" Tifa rolled her eyes. "You really think so?"
"Yeah, so piss off, all of ya! I've got a good thing going here, if I can jest get him to stop tryin' ta drown me in all these cuddly-things and get on ta some real cuddling…I mean, what is this?" He waved a long, dark, smoked eel in the air. "Why did he bring me a fucking oversized dildo?"
"…it's a fish, Cid. You are supposed to eat it."
"Oh, good." Cid gave the arm-long fish a suspicious glare. "I was gettin' a bit worried here, 'cause if this was some sort of hint, let me just say, he'd be real disappointed."
Before anyone could recover enough to answer to that, Cid suddenly turned white.
"Oh, no." Cid groaned as stared out across the field of stalls. "I'm running out of fucking ways to thank him! And how the hell do ya thank someone for something like that, anyway?!"
"Oh my. I think you better just drop your pants and bend over," Reeve mused. "Ow!" he screamed as Cid threw a cuddly-fluffy cat at him. A stuffed toy isn't easy to cause harm with, but the human body is filled with tender spots and Cid had good aim. And anyway, Caith had that megaphone in his hands.
**
Vincent was dragging along an almost obscenely huge, stuffed panda from the final stall. It was easily as tall as he was, and most likely twice as wide, had a wide amiable smile of idiocy and kept trying to keel over, bringing the ex-Turk with it. The effect from a distance was that of a red and black ant carrying a huge piece of dirty sugar. The gunman's eyes where a bit frantic and there were chocolatly kisses on his cheek.
"Alright, stop." Vincent was brought up short as a tall, slender, pale figure stepped in front of him, green eyes flaring threateningly.
"What?" Vincent was in no mood for interruptions.
"You have been claiming the first prize on every stall in the fair. There's nothing left!" Yazoo hissed. "And I promised my brother a bear." He waved a hand at a short-haired, more muscular copy of himself that looked like he'd break down crying any second.
"So?" Vincent tried to balance the panda without falling over.
"So I'm taking yours." Suddenly there was a huge gun pointed at Vincent, who immediately dropped the bear and drew Cerebus. Surprised at the unexpected resistance, Yazoo snarled, "Loz! Where is Kadaj?"
"I don't know. Last time I saw him he was on another spazz-fit, running around screaming: 'I'm Sephiroth, and I will take over the world!'"
Yazoo sighed and made a mental note: Keep Kadaj Away From The Cotton Candy and filed it somewhere between Keep Kadaj Away From Sweets and Keep Kadaj Away From Sodas. His younger brother really didn't handle sugar too well.
"Vince? What the Hell is goin' on here?!" Cid had managed to free himself from the infestation of prizes and came hopping along, the pilot-bear still hanging from a crutch.
"They're trying to steal your panda!" Vincent snarled.
Both brothers blinked in surprise over the almost pathetically grateful look they got from limping man.
"Vince….it's alright. Let 'em have it. I mean, I appreciate it and all – 'specially the chocolate – but I think I know where yer goin' with all this." He waved at the fallen panda. "And anyway it's too big. My bed ain't big enough for both ya and it."
Vincent blinked and gave the grinning pilot a wide-eyed glance. Then he holstered Cerebus, scooped up Cid in his arms and ran from the fair. The last thing the two confused brothers heard was Cid wailing:
"Hey, what about my damned chocolate?!"
Yazoo shook his head, holstered his gun and bent down to pick up the panda.
"Here. I told you I'd get you a bear." He threw it at his brother, who caught it and managed to balance it with a bit more grace than Vincent had.
"Aw, thank you, Yazzie!" Loz hugged the bear.
"I told you not to call me that," Yazoo muttered. "Now, lets find Kadaj." It shouldn't be too hard, they just had to follow the giggle fits from the sugar-rush. "And then I want to go on the Ferris wheel." He said decisively, because he'd be damned if he were the only one who didn't have fun here tonight.
