"My Jake"

By Chungdoo

How she hated that smile of his, that toothy grin he got whenever he saw her, this simple smile managed to somehow throw all her years of training out the window as her heart seemed to melt inside her chest. Then came the heat, the incredible cheek raising heat that threatened their uniform color and made her want to slap him across the head and call him a child like she had during their first meeting, back when she didn't have these feelings for him and she continued to live her life in peace. Now that he has come she will never be the same again.

Her every thought, every word, every…motion was tainted by his existence and his influence was dug in to deep to purge now. No, she was hooked now. Somehow he had managed to steal her heart from right under her careful watch. She had promised herself that she would never allow herself to fall in love, to act like many of the other females she had seem around her village, foolish, stupid, weak.

But it had happened, she was hooked, like a sucker to him and he had no idea the influence he held over her now. He was ignorant of the fact that he had turned her into the very woman she had come to detest and she was completely powerless to him now, to that smile.

At first he was annoying, back when she was normal and everything in her life made sense. He was just a task, a burden, unwanted by The People. She would teach him not because she wanted to but because she was ordered to. She would teach him, he would most likely fail, leave with the other sky people and would leave her life forever. But now the very thought chills her heart as if it were numb.

Everything has changed…

He is becoming stronger, has passed every challenge that she was able to throw at him and he is no longer a burden but a wanted curse for by the end of each day the two have grown closer. She knew the closer the two became the more in love with him she would fall. She knew the danger of it. Of love. She was betrothed to someone else. Someone that did not have love's grip on her heart. Before she would have been satisfied with that but he changed everything, him and that smile.

She sat with him now, preparing him for the ceremony, for more unknown customs that she had explained to him during one of their countless conversations in both his dialect and hers. Tonight he would become one of The People and she would be free of him…. Forever. The thought seemed to tug at her heart and her concentration slipped; her hand hovered just above her skin.

"Neytiri?" he asked.

She didn't answer and a few seconds later she resumed, avoiding all his questions and especially his eyes, if she made contact with his eyes, so full of concern and bright with life she would crack. Instead she called him a moron like she used to and the two smiled, she avoided his eyes and continued painting his chest. She told him how proud she was of him as she painted his face, stopping momentarily to gaze into his eyes. She broke the connection and finished the markings. Once she finished she watched as he observed the markings she had made.

"Thanks" Jake told her.

She told him that it was her honor to help him prepare for the ceremony but he shook his head. Slowly she felt his hands touch the side of her face and soon felt his forehead rest against hers. She froze as her eye's locked against his.

"Thank you for everything Neytiri" he told her.

She could feel his breath against her face as he spoke and she felt her heart skip a beat. Slowly she regained her composure and called him a moron again. As he released his hands she suppressed a sigh.

"we must go" she told him, she waited until he had left before she allowed herself to show her emotion. She threw her hands up in frustration, she was supposed to be distancing herself from him, to protect herself from the certain separation that would be caused by her arranged marriage, to protect herself from the pain of not being together with Jake or worse, seeing him with another woman.

The thought itself made her breath stop and a sharp pain pierced her heart as the image of Jake with another woman and not her filled her imagination. The image of him with children that were not her's was too much to take and she banished the thought from her mind, but not before shedding a lone tear.

She cursed at herself and her weakness, he was just a man, after this ceremony he will leave and she will be rid of him and this pain and her life will return to normal and she would be happy. She knew she was lying to herself. She loved him and no one else. If he were to leave after the ceremony he would take her heart with him and he would never know. She would not be the same, she almost laughed at the thought. There was no going back; she was hooked, like a sucker.

"Please Eywa" she begged, "please give me the strength I need to get through this ceremony."

Taking a deep breath she was about to walk out when she heard someone call her name. Recognizing the voice immediately she sighed almost dreamily and slapped herself on the head before Jake walked back in.

"I thought you were right behind me" Jake told her. She watched as his eye rose at the sight of the lone tear she had forgotten to erase.

"It's nothing" she told him, erasing the evidence from her cheek.

"Come on" she told him, grabbing his hand as she did so. She reminded herself to focus on getting him to the center and not on the feel of his skin against hers.

"Eywa guide me"

The ceremony was full of life and excitement and even though she was not able to forget the pain but she was able to stave it off. As soon as the ceremony was over she headed to the tree of voices, Jake, she was sure was behind her the entire time. His eyes were on her as they walked, like they were during the entire ceremony. She tried to place it out of her mind, to not think about it, she hoped that would stop the accelerated breathing of her heart.

"You are one of the people now Jake" she said smiling as they touched the vines of the tree.

She explained to him for what may be the last time the custom for the tree of voices and how he could connect and talk with Eva and while he was trying it out for himself she made one last wish to Eva, one desperate plea not to forget about Jake but somehow be with him like she so desperately wanted. She knew she was playing with fire but being with him made her feel so alive.

'Eywa' she pleaded, 'I know I have asked to receive the strength needed to get through the ceremony. I was naive Eywa, I have tried to banish my feelings for Jake and get over my feelings for him but I have failed. I had believed that love was a weakness and that I did not need it…did not need him. I was wrong. Please Eywa I beg you, I know that you may have other plans for me but if it is at all possible then please…let me have my dream walker…let me have my Jake.'

"Neytiri!" His voice broke her of her concentration. She raised her head and looked into his eyes, wide with concern and something she could not identify. She watched as his hand came up to her face and stroked her cheek, it was then she realized that she was crying. She took his hand in hers and moved it away from her face; she could not allow him to get any closer to her than he already had. She had to conceal her pain and pt on a smile, so he could be happy and that was all that mattered to her now.

"I am happy for you Jake" she said, avoiding his eyes "so happy"

She turned her back to him then and walked a little distance away, hopping the distance between them would slow her rapidly beating heart.

"You are Omaticaya now Jake" she told in, refusing to turn around. She bit her lip in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. " You may now choose a woman, our village has many fine women Jake, Ni'nat is the best singer" she told him struggling to keep her figure calm.

"But I don't want Ni'nat" she heard and a small sigh escaped her lips, Ni'nat and Jake seemed to be the most likely of matches because she had seen Ni'nat and Jake talking during some of the tribal meals. At first it didn't bother her but as time went on she found herself extremely aggravated by the sight.

"Piral is the best hunter"

"Yeah she is" she heard him say, quickly she turned around to face him, her eyes wide and her face emotionless as she believed that he had already made his choice.

"But I have already chosen"

She looked deep into his eyes; desperate to find any clue as to the woman she had chosen above all the others. All she saw in them was the strange something she could not identify in them. They were full of it.

She felt his hands back to her face again and she looked away again. It hurt her to be this close to him to do these things when she knew it would never last forever.

Then out of the side of her vision she saw something, turning her full attention towards it, she gasped. It was a seed from the sacred tree, like those that had first came to Jake all those months ago. She watched as it flew to her and felt as it gently landed on her head than a few seconds later floated over to Jake and sat upon his head. Then it blew away, soon out of her sight.

'Eywa!' she exclaimed 'have you answered me?'

"But this woman must also choose me."

She looked back towards his eyes and finally she knew what it was in his eyes that was unknown to her before, because she was sure that it had shone clear in hers now for a long time…love.

"She already has"

She smiled her toothy smile as she watched his reaction, one of both happiness and love. She kissed him then, quick and unexpected simply enjoying the feel of his lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck as she continued to kiss him.

Her passion exploded in her chest as she kissed him, overjoyed as all her worries and pain just seemed to vanish, just like when they flew for the first time together. Everything seemed so free and natural…so right.

They continued to kiss in each other's embrace until finally she couldn't contain herself any more; she broke the kiss and gazed into his eyes from her new position on his lap. She gently brought her hand up and lightly stroked his cheek, making slow gentle touches.

"I have waited so long to do that" she told him, bringing her other hand to his other cheek. He seemed surprised by her admission.

"I didn't think you loved me." He said raising his hand to cover hers.

"Moron" she smiled, gently leaning in to place a light kiss on his lips.

"I'm not really sure what to do next" he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

She smiled an took her braid and placed it in front of him, and she watched as he pulled his out as well and held it just a way's from hers. Smiling she rested her head against his.

Then they were joined, bonded, and she was in a state of pure ecstasy, as they became one, all their thoughts, and emotions, their entire lives mingled into what seemed like one. She continued to look at him through the bond and he did the same. She would kiss him, when she felt like it but she mostly enjoyed the feel of their bond. She knew she had their entire life to kiss him when she wanted to.

When the initial emotional ecstasy faded they began to make love, she did not know much about this part so she let him take over. He laid her against the round, their bond still intact and explored her body with his hands both gasping at the double pleasure made possible by their bond.

Soon they were again bonded, this time physically and as he moved in and out of her she matched his rhythm. By the end she was truly his, his mate for life. He was finally her Jake.

"I see you Neytiri"

"I see you…my Jake."