Here Alex, merry Christmas. Sorry it's a little late.

Raj sat silently in his apartment, his head in his hands. He felt so out of it, he felt kind of high like he used to get when his parents would light the incense for praying to Buddha. Behind him, something moved.

Lifting his head, he looked behind him to find his friend, his best friend, the man he had been in love with since he could remember… naked. Swallowing hard, Rajesh slowly stood up and stumbled away from the couch to go to the bathroom so that he could find some way to clean himself.

He felt so disgusted with himself, why did he have to do that? Howard took advantage of him. He was so sad… shaking his head, Raj got into the shower and tried to scrub off the dirty feeling with a bar of soap. He stood against the freezing cold water for almost an hour, scrubbing furiously until he gave in.

Crying loudly in the shower, Raj fell down against the wall, holding onto his chest, the crown of his head against the wall of the shower. Tears spilled down his face and onto the tub, hot tears that stung his face as he was kneeling in the cold shower. He was so angry with himself, so angry with Howard as he realized that what happened last night would never happen again. Howard was drunk last night; he didn't know what he was doing.

Rajesh slowly stood up and turned off the water. Shakily, the chocolate colored man stumbled back into the living room, naked, cold and wet. Staring at the pale body on his couch, Raj looked down and started his slow walk toward his room.

"Raj…?" Howard's voice called from the couch, it was filled with tiredness and slurred with having a hang over. The Indian shivered slightly, he stopped walking before looking over at his friend, his eyes filled with tears and he turned his head swiftly so that his friend couldn't see the tears.

"Wh-what are you doing Raj? You okay?" The Jewish engineer sat up, staring at his friend as he talked. Nodding quickly he walked toward the bedroom door with a hurried step.

"Why are you going? What's wrong?" Howard asked, sounding more awake now, he rubbed his eyes and tried to get off of the couch but by the time he got off the couch, a blanket wrapped around his waist, Raj was already gone…

Staring at the wooden door, Howard sat down onto the couch and looked down at his feet. Had Howard done something wrong? Why was he naked…? Sudden realization hit him; Howard groaned loudly and sat back. Raj and he had fucked last night, he covered his face, and he really shouldn't have gotten drunk and taken advantage of the depressed Raj. "Damn it…" Howard muttered before standing up and pulling on his clothes. He didn't know which was his or Raj's clothing but he pulled pants and a shirt on before taking his scooter keys and walking out. This was the last time he drank.

Rajesh heard the door close, he leaned against his bedroom door and cried loudly again, sobbing. Sliding down his door, he just… sobbed there until he passed out from being light headed.