"People are gunna disappoint you…I get that. But what if you wake up one day and realize…you're the disappointment?"

She woke up to that realization…a long time ago. Each day it's just been getting clearer that she's become her own worst enemy. The one constant in her life had just walked away…her best friend had just stormed off without a single look back….told her that ten years of friendship was over without batting an eyelash…not even one.

The sigh that escaped her parched lips was heavy as she ran her thin fingers roughly over her face and through her hair. How…when had things around her gotten so hectic? How could she so carelessly let normalcy slip through her fingers? Her grasp on life had gotten loose so long ago…but now…she had to wonder whether there was anything left to hold on to at all anymore. So many times she had been granted the opportunity to make things better…to feel okay again…and all of those times she had been too weak…or maybe it was too strong…or pretending to be strong…she didn't know anymore.

"You look…like crap" she sat up on her bed, the maroon comforter twisting and sinking under her. Hazel eyes glanced toward the open door, her interest peaked, wondering which one of her so called friends would claim to care…which one she would have to at least give credit to for thinking about her. She didn't bother trying to smile, what was the point in faking happiness; she simply let her body fall back into her sheets.

"Thanks…" who knew one word could hold that much sarcasm. "Aren't you suppose to be on your honeymoon" she felt the bed sink beside her and looked over to see him laying himself down next to her.

"Flight got canceled…something about rain over there." He shrugged his shoulders as she turned her head to look back at the ceiling again. He was going to be annoyingly persistent… she could tell that already.

"So shouldn't you be with your wife…it is your wedding day." She pointed out. "Why are you here and not with Haley?" her tone indifferent, but her mind questioning why he wasn't where he was obviously supposed to be…thinking ahead and wondering who was going to twist this and make her into the bad guy…the blonde bitch who was selfish enough to preoccupy Haley's husband mere hours after the wedding.

"Because I was worried about you…I have been for the last couple of days…ever since the rehearsal dinner the other night."

"Why" she didn't look at him as the monotone voice escaped her lips, but he turned to face her, apparently oblivious to her desire to be alone. Why was it that people had that irritating way of only popping up and wondering about her well-being when she wanted to be left to herself? Why was it that when she was actually looking for someone to talk to… when she wanted a shoulder to cry on, they came to her with their problems and she got to once again take on the role of the emotionally stable rock.

"You weren't in the best of moods when I picked you up that day…and just so you know, I did catch the glazed over eyes you were trying so desperately to hide from me in the car. I just didn't press you because I figured you would talk about it if you wanted to." Her eyes weren't glazed over now, and he watched her roll them, but he continued anyway. "Then that night you kept to yourself backstage…the only time I saw you was when you walked in and when you were up on stage…and on stage you kept getting lost in thought…and it looked like it was killing you to be up there."

"Okay…I get it Nathan…I'm sorry you were so worried that you had to come check up on me…on your wedding day…now please go back to your wife…that's who you're suppose to be spending this day with." Her tone had turned bitter…she didn't need him coming to her, saying how worried he was…how he wanted to make sure she was okay. Why hadn't he come earlier if he was so worried…she had been like this for awhile…it was just worse now. He had been too busy to care before…why should that suddenly change?

"Don't bite my head off just because I care about you…Hales is worried too and she was glad that I came over here to check on you" Haley was the one who noticed the distant look in his eyes…she had guessed that it was about Peyton…begged him to go check on her…asked him to apologize…to tell Peyton that she was sorry for not being a better friend. But he had been around the blonde long enough to know apologizing for his wife was a horrible idea…one that would end at her screaming at him and dishing out a few choice words for him to take home.

"Nate…I'm fine…just tell Haley that I'm okay…I could really just use some time to myself right now and I'm sorry for lashing out at you but don't worry about me." She almost sounded sweet…actually sorry for getting angry…glad that he stopped by…exactly the way she needed to sound to get him to go back home. And because he didn't know any better…because he wasn't his brother who knew how to see past her facades…he didn't notice the moisture that was slowly seeping into her eyes…the falter in her overly bright smile, and he believed her. And then he sat up, patted her leg, and was gone as quickly as he had arrived.

Brooke Davis stood outside the door…the one that was still painted black and constantly reminded her of how badly she had screwed up by sleeping with Chris Keller. But her boyfriend has screwed up too and that was why she was standing outside of his door. At least that's what she wanted to believe. It made this easier for her to do…easier for her to throw away the relationship they had worked so hard to build.

Lucas was a good guy, he really was…and she knew that…she knew that things were hard from him and that he was doing his best to keep their relationship. She knew that her boyfriend didn't mean to turn to her best friend every time he needed to have some deep meaningful and emotional conversation, but that doesn't change that fact that he did. It doesn't ease the pain that she feels every time she sees them hug, sees Peyton console him…the pain that rips through her chest every time she tried to get him to open up only to have him walk away from her and into Peyton's arms.

Deep down Brooke knows that she can't be angry with Peyton because Lucas turns to her…Peyton's heart is too good to ever turn him away when he needs her. She'll also never turn him away because they talk to each other. One's her best friend and one is her boyfriend…and neither of them go to her in their time of need, they go to each other.

But she's angry at Peyton anyway…she's angry because once again she feels like Peyton's chosen a boy over her. Lucas was her boyfriend…Peyton wasn't supposed to have feelings for him…she wasn't supposed to encourage their relationship and then fall in love with him…again. It doesn't matter if she promises not to go after him…she shouldn't have fallen for him again. Peyton promised to never hurt her the way she did last year…but she should've learned already that promises are made to be broken. Her parents break them…so do her best friend and her boyfriend…all the people she's suppose to be able to trust seem to always lie to her.

Lucas had kissed Peyton again…or Peyton had kissed Lucas…it really didn't matter who kissed who, what mattered was that it happened and they lied to her about it. Lucas swore that it meant nothing, but if it meant nothing then why did he feel the need to hide it from her. She understands that the circumstances were different this time...that her best friend thought she was dying, but it still shouldn't have happened….and they should have told her about it. And she's telling herself that all of the little omissions of truths are the reason she's standing outside of her boyfriend's door, prepared to throw away months of working toward each other.

She raises her hand and knocks lightly against the dark wood. She doesn't know if he's home and a part of her hopes that he isn't. If he's not home then she's forced to leave and maybe by tomorrow she won't want to do this anymore and then she'll still have someone who cares about her…she isn't sure if he's in love with her anymore or if he ever was, but she knows that he did love her…that he still does, and that's the only reason she's tempted to turn around and not go through with this.

"Hey…I've been trying to call you" and just like that all hope of leaving his house and pretending she was never there…it all disappears.

"I know…I just needed some time to myself...some time to think" Her voice sounds foreign to her own ears. She's never been one for monotone speaking, but that's how her voice sounds right now…indifferent and cold. She is indifferent to the situation at the moment…indifferent to any feelings that may or may not be between them…she has to be or she won't make it through the conversation…she'll quit half way through and stay in a relationship that died a while ago…a relationship that might have died before it even started.