Title: Chuck's Secrets

Author: BookCaseGirl

Date: January 3, 2010

Rating: Mostly T...some could be M.

Classification: Drama...with the romance that can only be described as Chuck and Blair :)

Summary: Blair discovers some hidden tapes in Bart Bass's office after his funeral, and when she views them, she learns some interesting tidbits about Chuck's life (childhood and beyond). As she struggles with her own life at school and her relationship with Nate, she finds that these tapes unleash some unlikely feelings for her fellow scheming partner.

Author's Note: Bah, technical difficulties...the holidays...I have a billion excuses for not having gotten this up sooner...but I won't go into them. All that matters is that it's up, and I really hope it's enjoyable for everyone.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Gossip Girl, because then I could manipulate the show so it revolved around Chuck and Blair (;

"So I'm gonna give all my secrets away..."

Secrets – OneRepublic

"Holly!....Miss Golightly...!"

"Blair...Blair!"

"Mmm? No, Paul! Not now! Just let me look, please."

"Oh, for God's sakes. Blair, wake the hell up! It's an emergency." Serena was shaking her awake, and she opened her eyes, adjusting to her surrounding with blurry eyesight.

"What is it, Serena? I was having a damn good dream." She remembered it as if it were real (though with how frequently she had the dream, that wasn't surprising), and simply wanted to fall back asleep and finish it already. The Tiffany's dreams were the best...much better than the dreadful scenarios from Charade, and the mediocre ones her subconscious gave her from Funny Face.

"It's Chuck. Nate called me, and he needs help. He told me we all needed to be there, and that includes you." Oh, that's right, she thought. The funeral was today. Chuck hadn't seemed terribly out of sorts, but then again there wasn't a lot of him that Blair saw normally.

"But...he's been fine, Serena. What could have possibly gone wrong?"

"I guess he had some sort of bender last night. Nate said it was worse than the whole Tahiti incident."

Blair's eyes widened, and she was suddenly very alert. Chuck was her perfect match in ways of scheming and deceit, the last thing she needed was to lose him. He was Blair Waldorf in an Armani suit and a bow-tie for Christ's sake. She'd feel incomplete without him.

For Nate to have said it was worse than Tahiti meant that this had to have been one hell of a mishap. The "Tahiti incident" as it was not-so-affectionately called by their close group, had happened about three years ago after a particularly bitter and nasty fight between Chuck and his father. None of them knew what had happened during that dispute, nor did they ever expect to find out. But whatever had been said, whatever had been done, had affected Chuck more than ever before.

He'd come back fifteen different kinds of smashed and out-of-it. As he had continued to swerve in and out of consciousness, Blair, Nate, and Serena had the phone at the ready to call an ambulance. They had no knowledge of just how much had gone down his rabbit hole, and to be honest, they'd all been scared shitless (or so it'd seemed to Blair). Luckily, with a miracle drug and alcohol cure that Serena had unearthed from inside his underwear drawer (of all the places), he was fine and dandy (or as fine and dandy as someone like him could have been) about a day and a half later.

"Nate must have been over-exaggerating. He's the drama king of the Upper East Side, Serena. He was only exaggerating!" The more Blair said this to convince not only Serena but herself as well, the less she believed it.

As Serena raised her eyebrows disbelievingly in Blair's direction, Blair rose and picked up the outfit she'd laid out last night. It was a perfect funeral outfit (oh yes, that was morbid, but she was Blair Waldorf and could say whatever the hell she wanted) – a modest black Dior dress with a velvety navy blue shawl to go over it. She had only three accessories (after all, it was a funeral; best to keep things minimal): a black velvet Jennifer Ouellette headband (with a bow, of course), and a simple diamond necklace from Tiffany's, with it's matching set of earrings.

No more argument was necessary. It was obvious to Blair and Serena that Chuck was screwed up and needed his friends. Without any further discussion, Serena went downstairs to wait for Blair to get dressed, and they left about an hour later.

While in the cab on the way over to the van der Bass (er...more the van der Woodsen, once again) residence, Blair and Serena were morbidly silent. It was a sad morning across the Upper East Side. They'd lost one of their leaders, one of their most influential.

And one of their most flagrant bastards.

Blair was angry. Chuck was second best to Serena on her friend status (apologies to the minions, who she didn't care about in the least; and Nate didn't count, for he was a boyfriend, on an entirely different shelf of her brain), and that meant she got pissed when someone took him down a notch, or a few hundred when it came to Bart Bass. Sure Chuck could be an ass sometimes, but he was misread, just like her. He made mistakes, like any other human being. It annoyed her that Bart refused to acknowledge these things. That he refused to spend time with his 'screw-up of a son' (his words, not her own) because in his mind everything Chuck had done was just to upset him. Little did he know, Chuck was only trying to get his attention, however ill his methods may have seemed.

Enough, she thought to herself. It's no use being angry at someone who is dead, especially on the one day you're supposed to pay respects to them.

Blair folded her hands in her lap and stared out the window again, sighing heavily.

It wasn't that she cared that much. Chuck was her friend. And no one screwed with Blair's friends, if they knew what was good for them.

"Blair, we're here." Serena squeezed her hand slightly and Blair got out of the car. The latched arms once outside and walked in, ready for whatever would come their way.

**********

Three hours later, and Chuck was still hopelessly retching. His cough seemed to have improved a bit, but Blair was worried he wouldn't arrive to the funeral on time.

It really was worse than Tahiti, just like Nate had said.

"I think we should try to get him dressed. The ceremony starts in like, half an hour." Nate was stroking Blair's arm absentmindedly and pecked her on the lips before turning to Chuck, who had fallen asleep once again (it had to be the twelfth time in the last hour).

He was snoring obnoxiously, and Blair turned away, wrinkling her nose at the smell of urine and scotch that emanated from Chuck's body.

"I hope that by 'we', you mean you, because there's no way in hell I'm going through that." Blair nodded at Chuck with a look of disgust on her face. Serena was downstairs, but Blair was fairly certain the blond would have had the same reaction.

Nate gave Blair a good-natured chuckle in response, just as Serena entered, the strongest-smelling coffee and sweetest-smelling donuts in her arms. She smiled that luminous smile that always lit up the entire room.

Apparently the light was too much for Chuck Bass. He sat up in bed, growling unintelligibly and slapping Nate's hand (currently unbuttoning Chuck's pajama shirt) away. Chuck glared in Blair's direction (it seemed his eyes couldn't even properly focus on one particular thing). He didn't even look at Serena, though she was holding part of the cure to his ailment. Obviously he didn't care (obviously).

"As much as I appreciate the fake concern, guys, you can all leave now. I have a funeral to dress down for."

They glanced at each other and then back at Chuck, who was smirking evilly, and obviously didn't give a shit what any of them thought.

"Out, out. Gotta find my Juicy sweats." He said in a sad attempt at a gay voice, and then stood and ushered them out, limping pathetically the whole way.

Blair was the only one who did not budge.

"You guys can go. I'll stay."

Serena and Nate didn't need to be told twice, and so they left.

"While I do appreciate the effort for a quick little screw before the funeral, don't you think dear Nathanial would be a bit shocked and heartbroken? Not that I really care." He was advancing toward Blair and she shoved him backwards. Chuck stumbled much more than she would have thought and fell to the ground, a coughing spell overtaking him as he hit the carpeting.

"Sorry," she mumbled, helping him up. He used what little strength he had to get even closer to her, his face right up in hers, and his bile-scotch-weed-smelling breath assaulted her face.

"Ew! Chuck, could you not be a pervy, disgusting asshole for about five seconds?! Get up, get dressed, and do it now. You're going to your damn father's funeral." She smoothed her dress down and looked into his face.

"Why are you here, anyway?" he asked in a nearly nonexistent whisper. She recognized what was in Chuck's voice – it was vulnerability, and she recognized it because of just how much she had used it herself.

"Because you and I -" she gestured between the two of them "- are the most similar two of our group, and I think I'd be best to help you. I can understand what you're going through."

"Your daddy was gay, he didn't die, Waldorf."

Tears rimmed her eyes and she whispered, "But I still lost him." She swallowed and rolled her eyes to prevent the tears from falling.

"Oh, please spare me the drama queen act. If it'll make you shut the hell up, I'll get dressed. Unless you really want to see all of this undeniable sexiness," he said dryly, "I'd leave. Now."

"Fine."

**********

Forty-five minutes later, Chuck and Blair arrived at the funeral – late of course, because Chuck wouldn't have had it any other way, and this time, Blair couldn't fight him off.

"Don't make me get out of this car," Chuck whined.

"Get out, Bass. Quit being a whiny baby and say goodbye to your father." Blair opened her door and walked over to his side of the limo, opening the door and giving him her hand to help him get out.

He groaned as they walked across the grassy yards of the churchyard, but walked nonetheless. They reached the church and Blair sat Chuck down in the front row with Bart's other family, then went back to sit with Nate and the Archibalds, who were conveniently sitting right next to her mother and Cyrus.

She watched him walk up the aisle and to the casket, laying a single red rose (obviously chosen by Lily, for Blair could not imagine Chuck wanting to get his father anything in his current state of mind) on the top of the cherry-wood coffin. He walked back to his seat stoically and sat down in an almost robotic manner.

And just as she was about to walk out of the church – the funeral was officially over after all (except for family members who still wanted to pay respects) – she saw one single tear on his cheek.

It appeared Chuck Bass was human after all.

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