Sout Park is owned by Matt Stone and Trey Parker.
"I invited Stan to come over for a bit." Kyle announced walking in his house.
"Oh Stanley coming over?" she asked walking out of the kitchen, while wiping her hands on a rag. "Is he staying for dinner also?"
"I don't know. Maybe." he answered unenthusiastically as he marched up the stairs towards his room.
"Hey Kenny!" Kyle greeted opening the door only be welcomed with an empty bedroom. "Kenny?" he questioned walking in to find his room was oddly warm. Which told him that Kenny hasn't been in the room for quite some time now.
But that didn't mean he wasn't around right? Kyle wasn't sick. Was he? No! He had seen Kenny. He had to be around somewhere.
Throwing his stuff down he began searching his room for any sign that Kenny was still there. Cause where else would Kenny go? Where else would he go?
Going down on his hands and knees he scanned under his bed, hoping maybe Kenny would jump out at him. Sadly there was nothing. "Kenny. Where are you?" he called out.
"Kyle?"
'Fuck!' Kyle thought jumping up to see Stan staring at him curiously. It was really a stare that said he was debating if he wanted to stay or not.
"Why are you calling for Kenny, under your bed?"
'Think fast, think fast. Got it!' "Ike got a hamster." he announced.
Stan still had the look but an eyebrow lifted letting him know he was listening to what else Kyle had to say.
"A few weeks ago. It's a little white and orange one, and there's a ring of brown fur going around it's face. Seriously if you look at it, it will remind you of Kenny, and it was only natural that we named it Kenny." Could this be the best lie he's ever told, or the most bullshitted lie he's ever told?
"But Ike left the cage open this morning so now he's running around shitting on everything." that last part would hopefully make it all seem true.
Stan just through his bag down and walked in looking around. "Do you want me to help you look for it?" he asked.
'Oh thank god he escaped that.' "No it's okay. I'll have Craig come over later. Maybe he can find him."
Stan cracked a smile, and let out a chuckle. "Yeah probably." He walked over to Kyle and collapsed lazily on his bed. "So what did you want to show me?"
This was probably one of the most disappointing moments of Kyle's life. Here he was going to show Stan he wasn't crazy, and his proof had gone and vanished.
'Just great.' Kyle thought and sighed. Getting off the ground he walked over to his desk. Opening a drawer he reached in, grabbed a DVD, and flung it a Stan.
Of course being a football star of the school, Stan caught it with ease. Once his eyes laid on it, Kyle was surprised his eyes didn't fall out with how wide they had gotten, and a huge grin formed on his face.
"Shit dude! When did this come out?" Stan shouted overly excited. He was clutching onto the case with both hands and holding it close to his chest.
Kyle just shrugged. "I found it in my dad's drawer. It came out a few months ago but they only made a small number of the copies. Apparently Backdoor sluts 11 was too hardcore for most viewers who followed the series." he explained walking over and sitting next to Stan.
"It's said that within the first 10 minutes of the movie, you'll have already cum your pants without even touching yourself."
Stan's beam was as bright as ever, but quickly turned into a darker smile. "Wanna watch it?"
"What? NO!" Kyle shouted blushing. "Ike's downstairs! We can't watch it while he's here?"
Stan frowned and hugged the case into him. "But Kyle! I'm getting a hard on just by looking at the cover!" he whined and leaned over to Kyle. "Please, please, can we watch it? I'll be quiet?" he brought out his puppy dog eyes and pouted his lip as best as he could.
Kyle just stared at him. "I said no. And quiet doing what?"
The puppy eyes left and Stan just rolled his eyes while sitting up straight. He lowered the DVD, and began swinging it slightly by it's corner, as if tempting Kyle to watch it. "What else would I be doing while watching this?"
Kyle just followed the movement of the case. Honestly he wasn't sur- oh wait. Now he understood.
"You got to be kidding me."
Stan only giggled. "Wow, that took you awhile. Don't tell me you've never masturbated to a porno before."
He began playing with the case. Throwing it up in the air and catching it. He was ready to run home and watch it. But who can blame him. It was one of the greatest porno's ever created in the history of porno's. Or at least for the time being.
Kyle just sat there silently. How do you answer that? Yeah sure there were times when he thought about it, but he normally went to take a cold shower instead. Masturbation had never once crossed his mind.
Stan took note in Kyle's silenced and stopped to stare at his unease friend. Before he could even ask Kyle what was wrong, he guessed it all on his own.
"Oh shit dude!" Stan shouted.
Kyle's face flared up and he shushed Stan.
Stan grinned and giggled. But he did lower his voice. "Dude. You've never once masturbated?" he questioned.
Kyle glared and gritted his teeth. "We're seventeen Stan! Don't you think we're a little too mature now to be touching ourselves?" Kyle hissed.
"No." Short and simple. The best kind of answer anyone could ever give anyone. Kyle just rolled his eyes and placed his beat red face into his hands. "Come one dude, it's not that embarrassing. Me and Craig do it all the time."
Did he just hear right? Kyle's head shot up and stared at his friend in disbelief. Did Stan just tell him that he and Craig? Were doing horrible, sinful things with each other? What else didn't Kyle know about that was involving his best friend!
"Wait you and Craig do what?"
Now it was Stan's turn to blush. He just gave a nervous smile and suddenly the rug became very interesting. "Well yeah. Me and him get together some times and well we watch porn together, and well, jack off."
Silence. What do you do in a situation where you learn that your best friend, and someone you never really got along with, practically do it together, without you knowing. And what was making the situation worse was Kyle was curious to know about how this event between the two started.
"So, how did you and Craig, you know?" Wow. Could this situation be any more awkward?
"Well you see," yep. It just became more awkward, and it was Stan's fault. Hell, it seemed like he'd been waiting for Kyle to ask him to tell the story. "Craig was mad at Tweek, and he just wanted to chill with someone who wouldn't nag him about Tweek. He invited me over, we throw a girls gone wild video in, next thing you know Craig whips it out."
Behold. The most blunt story Kyle has ever heard. There was no shame or signs of embarrassment on his face, anywhere. Where happened to morals? When did they die?
"I asked him what the hell he was doing, but he just flipped me off and told me to just deal with it. Next thing I know, I see him every once in awhile and normally we just, well, I don't know that we are." he shrugged and looked over at Kyle to see what his reaction to all this would be.
Kyle just sat there blushing, while taking everything Stan just told him, in. And apparently it was making Stan nervous, since he looked away and gave a nervous laugh.
"Oh hey look at the time!" Stan suddenly pointed to the clock. "4:58. Hey, my mom's making dinner and she kinda wanted me home by 5. So it's cool if I burrow this right?" he held up the DVD. Kyle just stared and nodded. "Cool. I'll see you tomorrow at the bus stop, kay?" He was saying this all real fast.
"We don't have school tomorrow." Kyle blankly replied.
Stan paused and gave a slight blush. Suddenly the awkwardness had turned into a weird tension. And it didn't feel like anything they were going to say, was going to make it go away."Oh. Well do you want to hang out tomorrow?" he asked.
"Sure, if you want to."
Stan just grinned. "Cool! I'll come over sometime before Terrance and Philp. We can watch some of their new episodes then."
"Sure. I haven't been watching them in awhile so you can fill me in."
"Alright, well see ya'." And with that said, Stan walked out. "Hey Ike. Sorry about Kenny." he heard Stan say and watched as Ike walked past his room with a confused look on his face.
Kyle just sighed. Seventeen year of living in South Park, and that was probably one of the weirdest moments of his life.
"You've never masturbated?"
Kyle whipped around while letting out a small terrified shriek, he suddenly lost his balance and fell out of his bed, and filled the room with a loud thud.
"I think that's seriously cute." Kenny said peaking over the edge of the bed to stare down at the confused red head, while flashing him a toothy smile.
Kyle had almost forgotten Kenny was a ghost. And that he was sort of haunting, slash, semi going out. But more importantly he now had a bunch of questions to ask the ghost boy. Like where was he? And how long had he been in his room? And why he never bothered making an appearance in front of him or Stan.
But that could wait for a minute. Smiling up at the ghost, Kyle quickly scurried up into a sitting position. "Kenny! Where were you?" Kyle asked grinning.
Kenny's grin grew. "I'm glad you missed me. Now back to the important subject. "You've never masturbated?"
Kyle just frowned and began blushing.
"Kyle!" Kenny began giggling. He reached over and ruffled Kyle's hair. "That's so cute! Was I going to be your first then?"
"Kenny!" That was it! Kyle was done having this conversation carry out any longer.
WOAH! I updated. Actually this was a shit update. Sorry guys. Maybe something exciting will happen next chapter.