Setting: Season Five – But I'm A Gilmore

AN: I know, I know, it's been done a million times before, but for some reason I just have this urge to write the dreaded Huntzberger Dinner today.

Everything before the episode is the same. I'm not going to use the actual language from the Episode, I don't own it, and don't feel like looking it up.

One Shot – and alas, I don't own Gilmore Girls

They sat in the car in his parents' driveway. Logan had a deep seeded feeling that things would not go well tonight. Rory was seated next to him, and she appeared to calm. He took one more deep breath, then turned off the engine.

"Well, it's now or never Ace," he said with a deep sigh.

"Logan, it will be okay. Parents usually like me," she told him trying to reassure him.

He smiled at her statement,"Yes, but you haven't met my parents yet. They don't like anyone." He opened the door to get out of the car, really it was too late to turn back now. He mentally cursed his sister for getting him into this. He wrapped his arm around Rory's shoulder and they headed towards the front door.

"After years of Friday Night Dinners with Adolf and Ava, I'm sure I can handle one dinner with your parents," she tried to reassure him.

"You call your grandfather Adolf?" he asked in an amused voice.

"No, of course not. Grandma is Adolf." She smiled at him. When they reached the front door step she spoke again. "If you're really good I'll tell you about the time my mother wore her rhinestone penis tee shirt to Friday Night Dinner," she giggled at the memory.

Logan's eyebrows shot up, "Well that sounds like a story worth this hell."

Rory reached out to hit the doorbell, but before she reached it, the door was flung open.

"You're late!" Honor hissed.

"Sorry Honor," Logan apologized. "How bad is it?"

"Mom is stress smoking, and Grandpa is, well, Grandpa," Honor explained as she pulled them both into the house. "Come on," she urged, "I'm so glad you're here Logan, and you too Rory."

"Anything for you sis," Logan told Honor as he hugged her hello. Rory stood beside him, nodding.

"Logan? Is that you?" he heard his mother call from somewhere.

"Yes Mother, we're here," he responded with a sigh.

"Great, well lets head straight into the dining room then," Shira told him.

Logan gripped Rory's hand tightly and pulled her down the hall toward the dining room.

"Hey, is that a Velasquez?" she asked as they passed the foyer. He smiled, of course she would notice that. He merely nodded.

When they reached the dining room he noticed that there were nine chairs instead of the seven he expected. "Mother, who else is coming to dinner?" he asked.

"I don't know son, your father is bringing home some lawyer and his wife for dinner," Shira answered.

"Logan," his grandfather addressed him, "who is this?"

"I'm sorry, Mom, Grandpa, this is Rory Gilmore. Rory, this is my mother Shira, and my grandfather Elias," Logan introduced.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Huntzberger, Mr. Huntzberger," Rory said politely bobbing her head.

"Hello," Shira said coolly.

"Gilmore?" Elias asked. "Richard and Emily's granddaughter?"

"Yes sir," Rory confirmed.

"Well, your father is going to be late, so lets go ahead and sit down and have drinks," Shira instructed.

A sense of foreboding filled Logan, no good society family would ever start dinner without their guests, something else was up.

Drinks were served. Scotch for Logan, Josh and Elias, and gin and tonics for Honor and Rory, Shira had disappeared with her own drink moments after it was set down. Logan knew she was around the corner smoking a cigarette.

"So Grandpa, how's work?" Logan asked trying break some of the tension.

"Busy as usual, you'd know that if you ever decided to stick your head into the office," Elias barked back at him.

"So Josh, how are you?" Logan tried again, completely ignoring Elias's rant.

"I'm fine-" Josh started, but was cut off by Elias.

"Enough of this bullshit! Logan just what are you playing at?" Elias shouted.

"I'm sorry Grandfather, I have no idea what you're talking about," he answered seriously confused. Rory sat beside him quietly and paled visibly. So not the first impression he wanted his family to make.

"You bring this…" he waves his hand in Rory's direction, "girl… home. As your girlfriend! And you expect us not to react?"

"I don't see why you would react? Actually I kind of expected you to like Rory, she actually gets me to set foot inside the Yale Daily News office," he said wryly.

"She's not the proper sort of girl to be the wife of a Huntzberger," Elias growled. Shira finally saw fit to re-enter the room, and quickly took her seat on the opposite side of the table.

"Who said anything about marriage?" Rory asked quietly.

"Well dear, Logan brought you home, so that must mean something," Shira told her condescendingly.

"We've been dating less than a week!" Logan shouted. "And just why isn't Rory a proper girl?"

"Rory is the kind of girl you sleep with, not the kind of girl you marry," Elias told him. "I know from Richard and Emily that she wants to have a career of her own. That is just not conducive to being the wife of the heir to the Huntzberger empire."

"Plus, Logan, you have to consider her past," Shira added.

Logan reached down and grabbed Rory's hand. "Come on, we're going." He pushed back his chair and Rory followed suit, but before either of them could rise Mitchum called out from the foyer.

"Shira? Where are you? I'm sorry we're late, traffic was just horrible," he said as loudly as was socially acceptable.

"We're in the dining room already Mitchum," she called, then turned to Logan and hissed, "Logan, please don't leave. It will mortify your father."

Not particularly inclined to please his father Logan stood up, but Rory held his hand, pulling him back towards his chair. He looked down at her curiously.

"Let's not make things worse," she whispered when he leaned down towards him. Leave it to Rory to try and salvage the situation, even though she'd been rudely insulted by his family. He sat back down and let the scowl he was feeling overtake his face. He would stay, but he didn't have to like it.

Mitchum walked into the room followed by the older couple. "Straub and Francine, this is my family. My father, Elias, my wife Shira, my daughter Honor, and her boyfriend, Josh, my son Logan, and I'm sorry, I don't know the girl with him." He gave Logan a pointed look.

"This is my girlfriend, Rory Gilmore," Logan said proudly, using the title just to piss his grandfather off.

"And apparently his girlfriend," Mitchum emphasized, "Rory was it?" Rory nodded at him. "And this is Judge Hayden and his wife."

Logan tried to suppress a sigh, no matter how angry he was, he couldn't be all out rude to a judge.

"It's very nice to meet you all," Francine Hayden said politely.

As luck would have it the Hadyens were seated directly across from Logan and Rory at the table. Logan watched as Straub pulled out Francine's chair and helped her get situated before beginning a conversation with Elias who was sitting next to him at the end of the table.

"So how are you… Lorelai?" Francine asked tentatively in a quiet voice.

Logan's ears perked up, no one called Rory Lorelai, ever.

"Actually it's Rory, and I'm quite well," she answered politely. Logan blinked and gave Rory a quick glance, did he just see her wink at Francine Hayden?

"So, again, I'm sorry we're late, what did I miss?" Mitchum asked.

"You're just in time for the Huntzberger Shanghai," Logan spat bitterly.

"Excuse me?" Mitchum said.

"Logan please, we'll discuss this later, we have company now!" Elias glared at him.

"You know what Grandfather, I don't think it needs to be discussed at all," Logan retorted firmly. He felt Rory grip his hand, trying to help him remain composed.

"Oh it most certainly will be discussed, young man!"

"Okay, what's going on here?" Mitchum asked annoyed.

"It's nothing dear," Shira soothed.

"Nothing!" Logan yelled. "Rory, I think we should go."

"Hold on a minute, Logan, sit back down," Mitchum directed. "Someone tell me what's going on right this instant."

"Mom and Grandpa-" Logan started, but was cut off by Shira.

"Really, it's nothing dear. We were just explaining to him why Rory's not the proper girlfriend for the Huntzberger heir, she'd never be a suitable wife for him," Shira finally blurted out, coloring slightly at having to make such an admission in front of company. "I'm sure Francine and Straub understand our position. They have a son. I'm sure they wouldn't want their son marrying a girl like Rory."

"Just why is that Mother?" Logan asked coldly.

"Consider her breeding," Shira started.

"She's a Gilmore!" Logan exclaimed.

"Yes, she's a Gilmore on her mother's side, but what of her father? Probably some two bit gardener employed by parents," Shira retorted.

Logan looked over at Rory to see how she was holding up, and noticed that she was biting her lower lip. "You okay Ace?" he whispered. She nodded and he swore he saw the corner of her lip twitch up in a smile.

"You understand don't you Francine?" Shira asked looking for support. "You'd never want your son, Christopher right? Marrying a girl who you knew nothing about." Francine held a tightlipped smile and nodded. "How is Christopher? He's got what, one daughter now?" Shira paused and took a large sip of her drink.

"He's well," Straub answered. "Actually he has two daughters."

Rory coughed slightly beside Logan and took a sip of her gin and tonic.

"And you wouldn't want your granddaughters to marry just anyone now would you Straub? You want to make sure the Hayden fortunes are protected right?" she asked.

"Well of course," Straub replied. "We wouldn't want our granddaughter to marry just anyone. We'd need to make sure he had the right reputation, not one of those spoiled trust fund brats that runs around like he owns the world."

Logan grimaced, he felt that the judge's statement was an unnecessary jab at him, and Rory squeezed his hand tighter.

"I know exactly what you mean Straub!" Shira told him.

"Wow Mom must be blind," Honor leaned over Rory to whisper to Logan.

"It's too bad your granddaughters are so young. It would be nice to have a merger between the Huntzbergers and the Haydens," Shira said.

Rory almost choked on her drink next to Logan.

"Are you alright dear?" Francine asked.

"I'm fine, thank you," Rory replied politely.

"Actually," Straub started, his face getting slightly red. Logan watched as he looked over at Rory, and she caught his eye and made a slight face. "One of our granddaughters is about Logan's age."

"Oh we must introduce them!" Shira exclaimed.

The table was silent for a moment, and Logan could sense that something had changed be he couldn't tell what it was. His father lowered his head to his hands and his grandfather stared at his plate.

"Now a Hayden would be an appropriate wife for a Huntzberger! You understand don't you Rory? Even though you didn't grow up in society I'm sure Emily has made sure that you at least know some of the basics of how it works. I'm sure you're a perfectly nice girl, and some guy will be lucky to have you, you should just look a little lower on the society totem pole," Shira blathered on. Logan sighed deeply, would his mother never shut up?

"I'm not interested in you picking a wife for me Mother, no matter how lovely she may be. No offense Judge Hayden, Mrs. Hayden," he added politely.

Straub Hayden pushed his chair back and stood up. "I've had enough of this. I'm sorry Mitchum but we'll have to do this another time. Francine, get your coat. Rory get your coat as well."

"But Grandfather," Rory started quietly, "I came with Logan and I need to go back to Yale."

Logan looked at Rory, and a huge smile lit his face. Shira gasped.

"Your father is at our house, I'll have him take you home, or if you'd rather we can drop you back at Yale," Straub told her.

"Okay," she acquiesced. "Call me later Logan?"

"Of course Ace." He stood up at the same time she did, and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "It was lovely to meet you Judge Hayden, Mrs. Hayden," he said politely.

"Thank you?" Rory said hesitantly to the table knowing that society dictate that she thank the hostess, but not really sure exactly what to do in this situation. Sorry she mouthed at Logan. The remainder of the Huntzbergers remained silent as Straub and Francine ushered Rory out of the house.

Once they were gone Logan tipped his head back and laughed.

"Logan, that's enough," Mitchum said firmly.

"This is better than I could have hoped!" Logan laughed. "My mother offended a Supreme Court judge by insulting his granddaughter then tried to marry me off to the same granddaughter!"

Honor and Josh were snickering quietly. Mitchum sighed deeply and Shira was still shocked into silence.

"I didn't know!" she whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know Mom," Logan told her. "Like I told you earlier, we've been dating for a week."

"Mitchum? Elias?" she asked.

Logan smacked his forehead, that was the change at the table, his father and his grandfather knew who she was. "Yeah Dad? Grandpa? Why didn't you save Mom from making ass of her self?"

"Language Logan," Shira said sharply, then turned expectantly to her husband and her father in law.

"It didn't dawn on me until Straub mentioned that one of his granddaughters was Logan's age," Mitchum said.

"The scandal was so long ago, I'd completely forgotten that you and Mitchum weren't in Hartford at the time," Elias told her.

"She's a Gilmore and a Hayden," Shira said quietly.

Logan smirked as he pondered the consequences of that statement. His mother had no fear of offending Emily Gilmore. The Gilmores were an old Mayflower family with plenty of money, but they didn't have as much as the Huntzbergers had. The Haydens however were a different story. They were equally Mayflower, but they had more power, if not more money, than the Huntzbergers. The combination of Gilmore and Hayden was a knockout punch though. If all four of Rory's grandparents got together, they could decide that a Huntzberger wasn't good enough for their granddaughter, or anything else for that matter. Logan shuddered at the thought, but quickly banished it knowing that his girl had a mind of her own and wouldn't let anyone get in her way.

"Why doesn't she go by Hayden then?" Shira asked.

"Lorelai bucked tradition and refused to marry Christopher. She raised Rory on her own, but it's never been a secret as to who her father is," Mitchum explained.

"Why didn't I know then?" Shira asked.

"It's not news these days. Lorelai stayed out of society for the most part, so it just became unimportant," Elias said.

"I guess this means I have permission to marry her if I want to, huh Mom?" Logan said happily.

"Logan!" Mitchum yelled.

"I'll see you guys later, I'm going to make sure Rory is okay," he called over his shoulder as he headed for his car, laughing all the way.

AN: Again, I own nothing – and I just realized that I can't remember when Straub died – so if he died before this episode, then that's the one thing that's different, he's still alive (although, a zombie at dinner could be fun too).

Also thanks to DramaQueen1103 for taking the time to read this and encouraging me to post it. (if you hate it, blame her - just kidding!!)