Premise- Another life threatening moment gives Derek another chance to try and tell Penelope what's in his heart.

No Matter What Happens

Chapter One

November 2010

It was a typical Derek Morgan stunt.

He was putting his life on the line to protect the team. He did it without thinking twice- trading himself for JJ, who had been held captive by an unsub inside of an apartment. She went there alone to interview the brother of a victim and he turned out to be their perp. Thinking she was onto him he took her hostage for several hours.

Now it had been hours since Derek went inside and the unsub let JJ leave. A gun was pointed at Derek's head and the unsub was going in and out of delusions. At any moment he could pull the trigger and Derek knew it. So did the rest of the team.

And so did his baby girl.

That was the part that was tearing Derek up the most. He hated thinking about her suffering. The team couldn't come inside and risk killing the unsub because he had kidnaped a little girl. She was being held somewhere else and they knew if he died then she could die too- slowly slipping away from lack of water.

A painful way for an already terrorized seven year old to die. This unsub never killed his victims till the fourth day he held them. This was only day two.

Their best bet was to get him talking and get the location out of him. That's why Derek was wired with a microphone. That meant his team was listening to every moment of what was going on inside that apartment. And probably, Derek figured, Penelope was too.

All he wanted to do was get the guy subdued and get out of there so he could talk to her. Tell her how much she meant to him. Soothe her. Take away her worry and pain.

In moments like this, when one of them was in trouble or facing down death, all he ever wanted was to tell her what he was still so afraid she didn't know about how much of his heart was hers. He had tried twice before to explain it to her. Once after she was shot and once after he barely escaped an ambulance loaded with explosives before it blew up.

Each time she heard his words. But did she really get what they meant?

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She felt so helpless.

Thousands of miles away from him there was nothing Penelope could do to help Derek. She couldn't even be the voice in his ear telling him to be careful and to do whatever it took to get home safe to her.

There was nothing she could do but sit in her office and listen as Derek was threatened with death over and over until finally a shot rang out.

Her whole body jerked to attention. Her breath held.

Chaos reigned in the room. She heard agents and cops storming the place. Another shot was fired and then the calls came for an ambulance.

"Morgan, please," she whispered "please, whatever you do, don't you die on me."

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This didn't end how he wanted.

The unsub, deep in his delusional, finally hit the point of going through with his threats. There was just a brief second when Derek saw his finger tightening on that trigger but it was enough time for Derek to dive out of the way of the bullet.

Cops rushed in and shot the unsub right before he would have fired, for the second time, at Derek. Luckily the perp was still breathing. Maybe if they got him stabilized and medicated for his psychological disorder he would give up the location of the kidnaped child.

Derek couldn't focus on the right now though. He had only one thought on his mind. Being able to talk to Garcia, even if she couldn't answer him back.

Hotch held out his hand to help Derek up. Once Derek was on his feet again Hotch said "He was too far gone to get anything out of him," knowing Derek would blame himself for not finding out where the little girl was being held.

Derek just nodded once. He turned away from his boss. He had a microphone in his watch so he lifted it toward his mouth. "You there, baby girl?"

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Penelope's shoulder sagged as relief flooded her body. Tears rolled down her face.

Derek kept talking "I just need you to know that I'm not trying to get myself killed but if I did die today.... I would die knowing you were the best part of my life, baby. Don't ever doubt that you mean everything to me."

She could hear how he was panting and she prayed that he was uninjured. That he was just coming down from the adrenaline high of staring down death.

Grabbing her phone she dialed JJ. "How is my superhero?"

"Morgan's fine. The unsub is gravely injured though."

Penelope let out a breath. For the hours when she listened to him being threatened she had worried he was about to die. All she wanted was him back at the BAU and in her arms again. They had been getting closer and closer ever since she broke up with Kevin last May.

But no matter how close they got Derek never did anything to cross that line they established years before. That disappointed her and she tried not to show it. She thought she came to terms with the idea they would only be friends years ago- especially after she got with Kevin and let go of her silly Hot Stuff based fantasies- but a part of her had been holding out hope that once Kevin was out of her bed Derek would realize it was his best chance to make a move.

That the two and a half years she spent with another man would have made Derek see that life was too short to risk ending up with the wrong person. That his six month mistake of a relationship with Tamara- if you could call that train wreck a relationship, when they only saw each other very sporadically- would have proven that he didn't work well with anyone but her.

Yet it hadn't.

Derek spent time with Penelope every weekend they had off but all that time never led to the slightest romantic moment. While he was held hostage tonight she truly regretted the fact they had never kissed. She regretted that they had never made love. She regretted that she didn't have the courage to put the moves on him. That her stubborn pride insisted he be the one to go there.

It was just that Derek was such an alpha male. If he wanted her then he would take her....right?

She sat there, feeling emotionally wrung out, and thanked God her best friend was still alive.

Penelope asked JJ "Do me a favor? Tell Morgan that I said ditto."