The birds are chirping. The wind is blowing. The waves are crashing on the rocks below.

I used to come here looking for answers to my find understanding and peace.

Why did he leave? Why was he taken from me? But I always knew the answers. I would never be good enough for him.

The breeze grazed my arms as it blew by me. A soft echo of a baby's cry drifted along with it.

There is never silence. There is always noise, not matter how hard you try to block it out, its finds you. Whether in the form of a birds song or a tree's whispered sigh, a soft baby's mewling or your own thoughts. It is inescapable.

I long ago stopped searching for peace, now all I ask for is silence.

Silent tears ran down my face as I stood over the edge, looking towards the tumbling water below. They were not sad tears. They were tears of understanding, because I did understand now. I would never find my silence here, there would always be pain and loss, the soft sounds of the baby I never knew, cascading around my mind.

The wind whipped around me, my pale silk nightgown flowing around me. I could see it in my mind as I closed me eyes, my blond hair flying in the wind, the thin fabric whipping around my body. It reminded me of the movies, where the beautiful maiden stood atop a cliff, ready to throw herself into the depths of the sea, only to be rescued by her one true love.

But this wasnt one of those movies. I opened my eyes. There was just me, no true love to save me. The woman in my mind knew not of this loss, the loss of the one thing I held most dearest to me.

The wind blew harder, pushing me further towards the edge, almost making me lose my balance. Death, it seemed, was impatient, but it wouldnt have to wait much longer.

Part of me knew I was taking the easy way out, but it didnt matter anymore. He would never come back. I took a last deep breath of the ocean breeze and leaned forwards, my arms spread wide.

The air rushed past my face and I smiled. My body collided with the sharp rocks, but I felt no pain. Each bone breaking impact felt like a gentle caress.

I drifted into nothingness and was met by silence. The darkness wrapped around me as though we were old friends. An echo of my final smile curved my near dead lips.

I floated in the silence, memorizing every inch of the blackness, searching for the little body that continued to elude me.

Warmth filled my senses, a dull weight resting in my cradled arms, but as I looked down, they were empty. My smile faded as the heat got worse. Hotter and hotter it filled me. Was this hell?

I screamed, pleading to be sent back to the nothingness, but the heat didnt leave me until much later.

After what could have been minutes, hours, days, months or even years, it began to fade from my arms and my legs, seeming to draw back to my chest. Then, it was gone as suddenly as it came, leaving no traces of the fire. With a final burst of searing heat, it left my heart and I was drawn into awareness.

I opened my eyes, filled with curiosity and confusion. As I looked up I saw a pair of amazing hazel eyes, pale skin and beautiful blond hair.

"How do you feel ma'am?" An amazing voice asked. It sounded so pure, the sound of waves crashing on the shore line, the sound of a winter breeze, cold and refreshing, and almost nervous.

I cleared my throat and, to my dismay, found a trace of the burning still residing there. "Esme" I replied, my voice like chiming bells, as I dropped my head in shyness.

"Esme" The beautiful man whispered.

And so began my newest life, a journey finding love, happiness and family along the road, though I never forgot my silent child.