I THINK this counts as a crack fic... Anyway, it was inspired by a true event at my school. Enjoy!

WARNING!! This oneshot contains yaoi, boy love, shonenai, etc.

FAIL

It was just your average typical day at Bullworth Academy. Bullies were shoving Nerds in lockers, Johnny was beating up innocent people from paranoia and jealousy over his girlfriend, and Tad was grossing everyone else out with his one webbed toed foot.

Petey Kowalski and Jimmy Hopkins were walking down the hall, trying to kill some time before class started. It was turning out to be a good day for the shy petite boy; Jimmy had saved his ass from at least three Bullies, two Preps, and a Nerd armed with a rocket launcher.

Jimmy sighed, shaking his head. "Petey, why the hell are you such a target in this school?"

The feminine boy looked at his feet. "I don't know…"

"Whatever, I'm going to class. Coming?"

"I'll catch up with you in a minute. I got something I have to do."

"Alright, see you Pete."

The ginger boy ran off, leaving his pink shirted friend all alone in the hall. Petey watched him go, smiling softly. He'd never tell the taller and tougher boy that he liked him; he was too shy to do so and besides, Jimmy would never be interested in him…

Petey sighed. Life sucked for a small, dorky kid in Bullworth. If anyone found out he was gay, he wouldn't last a week. Jimmy, and the rest of the student body, could never find out.

Shaking his head, the petite teen walked into the bathroom. He hadn't been lying when he told Jimmy he needed to do something; he needed to use the restroom. As he entered the room, however, he cursed his turn of luck. All the stalls were out of order, leaving only the urinals his only option.

Petey moaned. He hated urinals. They were so disgusting. The very thought of peeing into a wall, out where others could watch you sickened Petey more than anything. Mostly what he hated about them though was how public they were. Anyone could walk in and see you at any moment. And that was not a situation the timid boy wanted.

Unfortunately, the urge to go was too strong to put off for later. Petey moodily crossed his arms and glared at the cursed device that was his only choice of urination. He really didn't want to use this thing, but he really had to go-

The bell signaling class rang, soon followed by the sounds of kids rushing to their rooms. The feminine boy watched as the last students vanished when a plan suddenly dawned on him.

Couldn't he just close the door? It wasn't like anyone was going to come now and if they did they'd just figure the restroom wasn't working and go to a different one.

Satisfied with this logic, Petey walked over to the door and shut it, locking the deadbolt just to be safe. Once he was sure the cost was clear, he reluctantly made his way back to the much despised urinals to take care of his business.

For some reason, he felt a strange feeling of dread, like something was wrong. Shivering slightly, he thought over his crush on Jimmy to chase the feeling away. So, suppose Jimmy did, by some weird chance, prefer Petey over all the other students at Bullworth? Would he still keep his feelings bottled up? Would Jimmy protect him if the other students found out? Would Jimmy… Decide to stay with him forever?

Finishing at last, the shy boy zipped up his pants and washed his hand thoroughly, complaining under his breath how revolting urinals were and how the damn things should be outlawed. He then walked over to the closed door and slid open the deadbolt.

Or, at least tried to.

Petey stared at the deadbolt, feeling the color drain from his face. He tried to slide it open again, but it wouldn't budge. He bit his lip and tried again. Still nothing.

"… Shit."

Petey swallowed, taking his now shaky hands off the deadbolt. This was bad. Really bad. The deadbolt was stuck, which meant the door wouldn't open.

Which meant he was locked in the bathroom.

"Pete? Pete, you in there?"

"Jimmy!" Petey exclaimed, stomach fluttering at the sound of the larger boy's voice. Oh, was he glad to hear Jimmy! Maybe this was just one big nightmare and he would wake up in Jimmy's arms, the two of them together…

"Pete? Why is the door closed?" The handle turned and Jimmy pushed against the door, which didn't move an inch. "Why the hell is the door locked?"

"Um…"

"Unlock the door, Pete!"

Reality hit hard. Petey trembled violently, the full force of his situation causing him to fall to his knees. "I- I can't-"

"What?"

"I can't!" the shy boy cried, leaning heavily against the door. "The bolt's stuck!"

"What do you mean it's stuck?"

"It's stuck!" Petey whined, tears pricking his eyes. "The bolt won't move! It's stuck! I'm stuck! I can't get out! Jimmy help!"

"Ah, for fuck's sake Pete! Why the hell did you shut the door in the first place?"

"Get me out of here!"

"Alright, alright! Stand back, I'm gonna kick the door down."

Petey scrambled back, as far away from the door as he could. A loud thump seemed to shake the room as Jimmy's foot connected with the door, but nothing else happened. A muttered swear word soon followed, then another loud thump. Still the door stood, stable and in one piece.

"Fuck."

Petey had finally reached his limit. Tears now streamed down his face as he cried, shaking in terror. "I'm trapped! I'm never gonna escape! I'm gonna die!"

"Damnit Pete, shut up! Just calm down alright? Ah fuck!"

Jimmy kicked the door again and Petey flinched, hugging himself. He wanted out. He wanted out now. "J- Jimmy…"

"Shut up, I'm trying to think!" the ginger snapped, hitting the door. Petey whimpered, causing Jimmy to sigh. "Ah shit, I'm sorry Pete… Man, what the hell do we do now?"

"Jimmy?"

There was a soft thud as Jimmy's head collided with the door, the stocky teen deep in thought. "Shit shit shit."

"J- Jimmy, I'm scared!" Petey sobbed, curling up in the middle of the floor of his 'prison'.

"Look, just, don't move, ok? I'm gonna get help-"

"Don't leave me!"

"Pete, I'm just-"

"I don't wanna be alone!"

Jimmy growled, his thin patience breaking. "Pete, if I don't go, you'll be stuck in there longer!"

"Don't go! Please don't go! Please!"

"Fine!" Jimmy yelled, pounding the door in frustration. "But now we have to wait before anyone can help us."

Petey could care less about when he was freed right now; he just didn't want to be left alone by himself. Slowly the small boy crawled over to the door, falling against it miserably. "Jimmy?"

"What?" the other boy stated, sliding onto his ass.

"… Thank you… For not leaving…"

"Whatever."

Petey sniffled and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He was scared and humiliated and trapped, with no way of escaping soon. He hugged his knees to his chest, staring pathetically at his feet.

"So, er, how the hell did this happen?" Jimmy asked, voice worried.

"The bolt stuck. All the stalls are out of order and I hate urinals because they're so public, so I thought I'd just shut the door…"

Jimmy groaned, smacking his head against the door. "Christ, Pete! Why couldn't you have gone downstairs? Don't you remember? These were the toilets I threw firecrackers in for that one kid! Fuck, this is all my fault!"

Petey buried his face in his knees, more tears blurring his vision. He wasn't mad at Jimmy. He could never be mad at Jimmy. Even if Jimmy's actions were the reason he was stuck in this mess in the first place.

"Are you ok, Pete?"

"I'm scared-"

"But are you ok?"

"Y- Yes. I'm fine, I guess."

"Good. If something bad had happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do."
Petey blushed, his heart pounding as his stomach did flips. He opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out.

"Pete?"

"Y- Y- Yeah?"

"You went really quiet there. Is something wrong?"

"… No."

What a lie; Petey could barely breath, his hidden feelings for his friend overcoming him and demanding he spill his heart out. He grit his teeth and fought against it, not wanting Jimmy to find out and hate him for it.

Jimmy sighed. "I'm so sorry, Pete. I should've told that kid to get lost. Then none of this would've happened."

"I- I'm not angry at you, Jimmy. I'm just scared is all."

"You should be mad. It's my fault."

"I'm the one that shut the door-"

"Pete, don't you dare try and blame yourself for this."

The feminine boy clamped his mouth shut, biting his lip. Fuck, he was going to be sick. His stomach was churning so violently his sides hurt. Not to mention his rapidly beating heart was tearing a hole through his chest. Before he could stop it, the words left his mouth.

"I could never blame you, Jimmy!"

Silence fell, thick and heavy. Petey slammed his hands over his mouth, face bright red. Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Eventually Jimmy spoke. "What do you mean by that, Petey?"

The poor boy shivered, head spinning. He didn't trust himself to speak. He knew what the next words out of his mouth would be and he was terrified of telling Jimmy. He didn't want to chase away his first and only friend.

"Pete? Pete, what's wrong?"

Maybe if he whispered them? After all, he'd technically be telling Jimmy. The ginger just wouldn't be able to hear.

"Pete?"

"I- I love you…" The words barely counted as a whisper; Petey himself could barely hear them.

"What did you say?"

"I love you!" Petey cried, unable to stop himself. His stomach lurched and he bolted to a trash can, throwing up. When he was done he sank to his knees and layed his head against a cool nearby wall, panting heavily as tears filled his vision.

He'd told Jimmy. Fuck, he'd told Jimmy. Now Jimmy was going to hate him and he'd never talk to him again-

"You what? Pete, is that true?"

The timid boy nodded then realized Jimmy couldn't see him. "Yes," he managed to croak, face darkening as his stomach shifted again. There was no going back. He was all alone again, with no one to protect him from Bullies and Nerds and everyone else in the school…

"… Well that kind of explains a lot."

Petey stared at the door, eyes wide in shock. "Wha- What?"

"What the hell are you doing outside of class Hopkins?"

"Wow, for once I'm actually glad to see your ugly face!" Jimmy exclaimed, voice filled with relief. The bell for class to end rang and the sounds of students started to fill the halls once more.

"What is going on Hopkins-"

"It's Pete! He's stuck in the bathroom and-"

Before Jimmy could finish his sentence the Prefect slammed his fist against the door, causing the door to shake and the bolt to break off and clatter to the floor. As the door swung open, Petey only had eyes for one single person in the crowd gathered around the now broken door…

Without even thinking he ran out and collapsed against Jimmy's chest, sobbing into his shirt.

"I knew it!" Gary's voice yelled from somewhere in the crowd. Petey didn't care though. All he wanted was to forget how scared and miserable he had been.

Jimmy was unresponsive, opting instead to stare at his pink shirted friend in confusion. "Pete, was what you said really true?"

The smaller boy nodded, burying his face deeper into Jimmy's chest as he blushed. This was it. Jimmy was going to break his heart now-

"Well, I love you too then."

Petey looked up in shock, only to have his lips captured by Jimmy's skilled ones. Girls and a few gay guys cried in jealousy as the male population stared in disbelief. When Jimmy finally pulled away, Petey was speechless, unsure what to do.

"Next time, warn me before you close a door."

"Yes Jimmy."

"Good Pete."

Petey smiled at his new boyfriend. Maybe his experience hadn't been so bad after all… Nope, that was a lie. But at least he had a happy ending.