The Ninja's Guide to Matchmaking

A SasuSaku oneshot

Book writer's POV

'"'"'"'"

Welcome to the Ninja's Ultimate Guide to Easy, Romantic, Fast-working Matchmaking, at least that's what it would have been called if my editor hadn't said the title couldn't be that long.

You have picked up this book for one reason and one reason only, you wish to get two people that you know together but you don't know how. That's why you have come seeking help from me! You are very wise. Now read carefully and you shall know the secret to getting your two soon-to-be-lovebirds together in eight procedures or less! ("Or less" because you may succeed before you even get to the last step!)

Now here we shall give examples via the soon-to-be-at-the-end-of-the-book-couple Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno, since in all my testing they were the only couple that I actually had to pull out all eight procedures. So…enjoy and hopefully use these procedures as your personal guide to making love between your friends!

One- Identify the current relationship

When it comes to the procedures this one is crucial, if you don't identify how they already stand with each other, then everything may fail! I mean, what if they're already hiding a relationship from you? Or what if they hate each other's guts? (In this event you may want to pick up my second book "The Ninja's Guide to Matchmaking with Two People Who Want to Rip Each Other's Throats Out" I have no idea why my editor approved of that title and said this title was too long. Editors these days, sigh….)

Step one, and the only one, in identifying their current relationship- watch their every move together.

Sasuke/Sakura example- I observed these two at the training grounds, since this soon-to-be-lovebirds pairing are on the same squad. Always makes it so much easier.

Observations: Sakura punched Sasuke in the chest, Sasuke threw some kunai at Sakura which she dodged, Sakura tried to trip Sasuke up, Sasuke pinned her to a tree, they all sat down to lunch, Sasuke and Sakura sat next to each other, Sasuke gave Sakura the pastry given to him stating that he didn't like sweets, Sakura accepted, two walked home together until they reached Sakura's house.

Conclusion: They have a good, friendly relationship with love blossoming underneath!

Now you may be wondering how I came to this conclusion. See, during their training while they were attacking each other, nothing they did caused them very much harm, which proves they care for each other's safety. They sat next to each other, which proves they're already fairly close and comfortable with the other. And then Sasuke offered Sakura a sweet (I mean, a delicious sweet!) rather than eating it himself or giving it to another person. Then he walked her home, proving he wants to make sure Sakura is alright!

Cleary, they are well fit for some love improvement in their relationship, which means it's safe to go to the next procedure!

Two- Organize a big event in which both are made to spend time together

Pacing is the best way to help develop a relationship. By organizing a big event they won't feel so forced together, they'll feel a little more open knowing so many people are around.

Step one- come up with what to do

Sasuke/Sakura example: Luckily for me my birthday was coming around as I did this, so I could use a birthday party as a great excuse to have them together. If your birthday isn't coming up though, you can try other events like throwing a plain old party, inviting a bunch of people to a gathering (like a simple gathering of many people, a big picnic, or whatever else floats your boat.)

The invitations were sent, and both agreed to come.

Step two- at the party arrange something that will force the two into spending time together.

Sasuke/Sakura example: At the party, with me being the controller of events, it was easy to get them together. Come up with a game that in some way, even if you have to set it up yourself, puts them together. Here I had waited and watched until Sasuke and Sakura were nearby each other, and not many people they personally knew were around to suddenly call into a microphone for everyone to quickly hook up with someone they know well nearby of the opposite gender because we were about to do something.

Sasuke and Sakura took the bait, hook, line, and sinker.

Next I declared that the guy had to pick up the girl bridal style, and the last to drop would get a prize. Now, I had to take some things into account before I actually did this. For one I had to be sure that Sasuke would be able to hold up Sakura, but I was fairly confident he would since he's so strong, and then I also had to consider another thing, whether or not they'd actually go through with it.

For the second thing I had the perfect fix that would guarantee they would stick to the game. Sasuke has a certain competitive rivalry between him and his best friend Naruto, so I also had to watch to be sure that Naruto was also nearby them before I started. Now I just had to hope they did what I wanted them to.

"Hey Teme!" Naruto had taunted. "You're gonna go down!" Exactly what I was looking for.

Sasuke looked towards the blond and snorted. "Tch, not before you."

Naruto scoffed. "Is that a challenge? Well you're on, Teme!"

From here everything was set, and I knew Sasuke was going to stick to it, and Sakura, being the follow-her-friends kind of girl she is, went along with it.

In the end, Sasuke did in fact hold Sakura up the longest, winning the game.

Step three- give out the "prize."

Here, the best idea for a prize would be to give them something that would make it so the two are still together.

Sasuke/Sakura example- For their prize I gave them a ticket good for two people at a cute little restaurant in town, and highly suggested the two go together without mentioning the word "date." By doing this, it's more likely the two will go because it'll seem more like a "friends going out to eat" sort of thing.

This method is most suggested, because then it helps to get you to the third phase of getting your couple together.

Three- Organize an even smaller event in which the two are pretty much rammed together, and then ditch them so they're made to be alone together

This is where the serious stuff begins. The second step was more of a "slowly tighten the noose around them" sort of thing, now it's being given a big yank that's practically gotten them glued together.

Step one- set up the date

Sasuke/Sakura example- Using the ticket idea, I was sure that I too had been able to obtain one so I could make a move into this step.

"Hey, Sakura," I beckoned, waving my own ticket, "I also have a second ticket! What say you and Sasuke use that one, and I'll hook up with someone so we can all go together? You know? Encourage you to use it and take away the pressure of being alone with Sasuke?"

If the girl in the couple you're trying to get together is anything like Sakura, she should agree with a hint of gratitude towards you for taking off the pressure you offered to alleviate. And then thanks to Sakura's agreeing, Sasuke is roped into the "get-together."

Now, if you have a boyfriend, that's great for you and you can take him. I had to find somebody, so I hooked up with a friend of ours named Kiba. I found it was wisest to choose a person who would most probably behave while we were out, and who would be willing to cooperate for the second step.

Step two- on the "get-together" excuse you and your guy from the table, sneak out, and call after about ten minutes saying something came up; leaving the couple forced to stay together for their date.

This trick is most effective after the food has already arrived, because while you would have an excuse to leave your dish, the couple should feel compelled to at least finish their food, leaving them that time to be together alone.

Sasuke/Sakura example- So Sasuke, Sakura, Kiba, and I went out to the restaurant Friday night. Before the "get-together" I briefed Kiba on what was going on, and he agreed to help. We all got in there, showed our tickets to the waiter, ordered our food, and sat around for a little while.

One important thing to note: make sure the two are sitting next to each other! This was almost a problem. As is habit, girls like to pair up with girls, and guys like to pair up with guys. Sakura began to follow me and Sasuke followed Kiba. Thankfully I spoke up and in a roundabout way without mentioning "dates" or "couples" I convinced them to sit with each other.

"Wait, wait, wait!" I declared as everyone almost took their seats. "Why do girls and guys have to seem so separated? Girls on one side and guys on the other? We've been friends for years! It's not like we're strangers! And besides, Sasuke and Sakura won that ticket together, and I asked Kiba to come with me, so the least we could do is sit together!"

At first Sasuke and Sakura had given me weird looks, until Kiba spoke up. "Yeah, it's not like you're afraid of cooties or something are you Sasuke? Sit with Sakura!"

Restraining myself from kissing my helper in my quest to get Sasuke and Sakura together, I nodded my head as Sasuke and Sakura relented and sat together on one side of the table while I joined Kiba.

Another good thing to note: the size of the table you're sitting at. Big tables with separate chairs- bad. Smaller tables with booths that basically force the two sitting at a booth to be pressed together- very, very good.

After the food comes, be sure to eat for a little while till your plate looks alright, and then come up with an excuse to leave the table. Some examples are: queasy feelings, claustrophobic anxieties also known as a stuffy feeling, dropping food on yourself, or the even faster things which would be either realizations of forgetting an "important thing," or getting another person to work for you by having them call you at a designated time and excusing you and your partner from the table. Any of these are almost assured to get you and your partner out of there, leaving the couple behind.

Wearing a skirt I didn't entirely care for, I went with dropping food on myself, and made sure to order something with tomato sauce, a substance that is very hard to get out without washing.

Carefully scooping up a precariously perched bunch of ravioli, I tilted the fork slightly, sending the pasta-y mess splattering onto my skirt. I leapt into the air with a muffled cry, trying not to make a huge scene in a restaurant.

"Damn it," I cursed, "not on my skirt! Oh, Kiba, could you help me with this?"

Kiba, quickly picking up the cue, stood up. "Alright."

We walked away, and I gave a quick glance towards the couple. Sakura did look a little confused, but Sasuke didn't seem to care much. I grinned; it was going smoothly at that point.

After ten minutes of seriously trying to get the sauce out of my skirt (which did fail as I expected) I emerged from the ladies room and beckoned Kiba into a stealthy retreat out the door. As we left the building I whipped out a cellphone and dialed Sakura's number. When Sakura answered I explained that I just couldn't go around in such a ruined skirt. I told her that Kiba was going to walk me home and I would see her later.

Sakura didn't question it, but just note: if they ask if they should leave too, tell them no and to enjoy their dinner. That's a line that will most probably keep them there.

Step three- observe what the couple does once left alone.

You may not have noticed, but I am a ninja, that's why I'm writing this as a ninja's guide, because we could pull this stuff off and not get caught! So, stealthily and very ninja-like, creep around until you reach a point where you can watch the couple and how they work. Sneaking inside is recommended to listen to their conversation, but it'd be a good idea to know how to mask your chakra.

Sasuke/Sakura example- So Kiba and I snuck back into the restaurant after very carefully masking our chakras, and we hid ourselves just outside the kitchen, giving us a good hiding spot just inside hearing range from Sasuke and Sakura's booth.

The two of them kind of idly ate their food for a little while, total silence falling between them. Here was the kink in my plan. Sasuke's socially retarded and Sakura's…well damn it she's talkative, but she chose now not to say a word!

Suddenly Sasuke stretched, putting his arm on the backboard right behind Sakura. My heart nearly leapt into my throat and I wanted to squeal, but holding it back I listened to them finally start talking.

"Is it okay if I put my arm here? The booth's a little cramped." Sasuke inquired.

"Oh, yeah, it's fine." Sakura replied, and then she sighed. "Sorry for how this night went…."

Sasuke turned towards Sakura. "Why apologize? Everything's fine."

"But I mean we were kinda set up if you think about it. You were forced into coming here with me, and then the whole pasta thing, and now we're alone and…."

Sasuke chuckled, I swear, the whole situation's perfection was going to kill me; they already looked like a couple! "Everything's fine. I prefer a quiet dinner anyway. Imagine if Naruto were here."

Sakura giggled. "Yeah…I get what you mean. But I mean uh…well…"

Sasuke shook his head. "We're a couple of friends having dinner. Like I said, everything's fine."

And at that point I knew it: they were already so into each other. Now it was just time to start getting them closer. And Sasuke never moved his arm from behind Sakura for the whole dinner after that. He even walked her home! It was definitely time for the next phase!

Four- Organize another big event, and this time get them as close as desired or as possible without denting the relationship they're building

This is the big turning point in getting people into relationships. At that time it's crucial to assess just how far you can push them until the relationship snaps. Push too lightly and you may get nowhere, push too hard and their not fully developed relationship could crumble, and they'll never get together, in fact, they may not even be friends afterwards. So this step is very fragile.

Step one- Organize the event

Sasuke/Sakura example- After seeing the results of their dinner alone, I found it safe to judge that a hard shove in the direction of a relationship would not ruin their chances of ever getting together, in fact, it would help.

This time, since it was fall, I decided to hold a party celebrating the season. I mean, who wouldn't? The leaves are so pretty this time of year! So I organized a party over in our village's forest, which would be perfect because the pretty hues of the leaves made the place great for a romantic setup.

Step two- come up with something that will get them close

This is necessary in that it will be the first big step into making the two really start to realize just how into each other they are.

Sasuke/Sakura example- Being in a forest, the possibilities are endless when considering what to do. Being the awesome genius I am, I decided to create another game.

"Alright everyone!" I called as everyone who had gathered turned their attention to me. "It's time for another one of my famous creations! A game to play! Today I came up with a good one! Well, I'm sure you all know me, I can create some awesome stuff with truth or dare, which is why today we will put that skill to use! Put your ninja skills to work! If you're caught by the one who's 'it' you'll be subject to joining them in a truth or dare that I'll be choosing! So prepare yourselves everyone! Because as soon as I pick who is 'it' the running will commence!"

Now, the hasty thing to do would be to immediately pick Sasuke or Sakura and set one of them up to catch the other, but that would give me away. It has to seem natural, so I started out with a random person and let them play. Being ninja in a forest, it was quite a spectacle; people running all over the floor and the trees. I had quite a ball hosting it all.

Finally it came, Naruto being competitive of course targeted Sasuke when he was tagged "it." It took a little while because damn is Sasuke fast, but Naruto caught him. I gave them a simple little dare, and grinned as I knew now it was time to carry on with my plan.

After bringing Kiba into the plot at dinner, he had ultimately joined me in my quest to get Sasuke and Sakura to start dating, and I assigned him an important task that he would have to do. Sasuke was "it," so his job was to lure Sasuke after him and towards Sakura. He would pick up some speed and "accidentally" trip Sakura. Sasuke being the kind of guy he is towards her would either catch her on purpose to get her "it" or he would do it unintentionally and I would call it. This along with the latter prediction is what happened.

"And Sasuke has caught Sakura!" I announced loudly.

Sasuke looked over to me in surprise. "She fell; I was making sure she was okay."

I shook a finger at him. "But you're touching her. The rules are, the one who's touched by the one who's 'it' has been captured, and thusly for one will be your partner for a truth or a dare and then will be 'it' themselves."

Damn I love logic. Sasuke and Sakura had no choice but to consent.

"So…" I drawled. "Truth or dare?"

Before the two had been caught, any time that someone called "dare" I would give them a little kiddie thing to do, basically and maniacally setting the two of them up for believing "dare" was a safe path seeing as I had also made it so people asking "truth" highly regretted it.

"Dare." Sasuke told me, and now the fun began.

"Hmmm…" I pretended to ponder, "what could I make you two do?" After a moment I snapped my fingers and put on a playfully evil grin. "Alright, I dare the two of you to kiss for at least twenty seconds!"

Cue the moment where Sasuke and Sakura's eyes widen to saucer plates.

Now note: I deciphered that these two were ready for a kiss because I knew that their relationship was already strong enough to take it. If your couple can barely hold a conversation let alone sit comfortably and chat while the guy has his arm on the backboard behind the girl, then do not go this far. Maybe go as far as a peck on the cheek, but that's all! A hug for those who can still barely hold a conversation.

You also may want to note: why I chose twenty seconds. Well, for one, it's nice, long, and gives you plenty of time to see them in action, and two, it's long enough to give them some real good time to decipher how the kiss makes them feel, which if they're meant to be together, will probably feel something close to fireworks as it's been described.

"You heard me." I grinned. "Twenty seconds. No less. I'll clap when twenty seconds are up."

"But—" Sakura began to retort.

"Let's just do this." Sasuke sighed.

All eyes were on Sasuke as he spoke, and now they were all glued to the two who currently sat on the ground after Sakura's fall. Sakura looked up at Sasuke a little warily, and Sasuke, sensing her nervousness, reached out, touched her cheek, and smirked. "Everything's fine."

I mean, seriously, send me to a dentist this stuff was so sweet! Enforcing my theory that their relationship could take the kiss and skyrocket thanks to it.

"I mean…not with all these people watching…." Sakura murmured.

I had to give that one to her. I turned to everyone. "Alright! Close your eyes, turn around, and no peeking! I shall be the only spectator to make sure they do it for the whole twenty seconds!"

You know, I said that, but I'm pretty sure half of the people there still snuck a peek at the couple as Sasuke scooted closer and planted his mouth right onto Sakura's. I'll admit, I started counting a little late, I mean, who could focus on counting when you could look at the two of them kissing and think "damn, they are SO meant for each other!" But I only started it two seconds late.

So technically twenty-two seconds ticked by till finally I clapped my hands, at twenty-three seconds they pulled away (something very important to note when proving they're into each other), and at twenty-four seconds the blushing set in big time. Sakura looked like a cherry and Sasuke's cheeks were reddened like he had just finished a very long run.

"Sooo…how was it?" Er, not the question you want to ask afterwards.

"Alright now Sakura, you're 'it.'" Bing, the correct statement to make.

After that the fun is over, because you can be sure that they won't be catching each other any time soon for the remainder of the game.

With that completed, phase five is up!

Five- Hold an event to get them physically closer

Now, this is crucial in that after getting them close with the last event, you need to sew together anything that may have torn a bit when their contact happened. What better way to do that than to get them physically close to each other without making them kiss or something?

Step one- Come up with a physical event to hold

Sasuke/Sakura example- After I set them up to kiss, I know some sort of wound was probably put into their relationship, but have no fear because I organized a dance this time that will help heal that wound!

Thankfully, even though by now they probably are getting suspicious of me, they both still agreed to come to my dance. Now it was time for step two.

Step two- Get the two together

Now that they are in an event that requires physical contact, the next step is to get them together!

Sasuke/Sakura example- It was actually simpler than I thought to get the two of them to dance with each other. All I had to do was go up to the mike, tell everyone to find a slow-dancing partner, and have fun! The thing that made it so easy was the simple fact that Sakura is the only girl who's truly close to Sasuke, hence why they are so perfect for each other.

The dancing began, and must I say the two of them still looked absolutely adorable together. Sakura's hands on Sasuke's shoulders, his hands around her waist.

I set my speakers to play five slow songs, and for all of those songs my partner-in-crime, Kiba, and me both trailed along inconspicuously with Sasuke and Sakura, listening attentively for conversations.

"Um…Sasuke…." Sakura peeped nervously.

"If you're going to say anything about that dare, don't bother. I told you, everything's fine." Sasuke responded.

"But, I mean…"

"Sakura, come on. Would you be dancing with me if you thought something went wrong between us?"

It shocked me how much Sasuke spoke. He's usually the silent type, which was yet another thing that was noted towards the proof of their being into each other.

Sakura looked up at Sasuke. "I didn't mean to imply something was wrong, just…"

"Different? I know what you mean. But I won't let it bother me." I swear Sasuke tightened his grip around Sakura's waist. "Everything's fine."

At that Sakura smiled and seemed to relax against Sasuke. Those two words were becoming like some kind of spell; slowly but surely weaving Sasuke and Sakura together.

Six- Host a small event to see how close they've become

I'll say it now that I have no example for Sasuke and Sakura here. Their closeness was pretty much shouted out to the world after the dance, and I felt no need to hold a small event. They were so close to becoming a real couple it was killing me!

But for those of you that need to hold a small event, I'd suggest just gathering a group of close friends at your house or something. Hang out, eat something, talk, and mess around. Just keep things natural. That will ultimately bring out how good the pair's relationship is.

Seven- Set the two up on a date

Now things are getting serious. If your couple has not yet seemed to be deemed "date-ready" either a, continue reading because this step may still be for you, or b, go back and see what you can do to try and get them a little closer.

Now, they won't be going on an actual date-date. One where they're alone and can do what they want. That comes later. First off it's a double date, and the first step comes with setting it up.

Step one- convince the two to go on the double date

It's of course preferable that you get a partner-in-crime like I did or you actually have a boyfriend for this, because asking a random person out on a double date would mean you're distracted because you do have to give them some of your attention.

Sasuke/Sakura example- For this I of course nabbed Kiba, and then I set out to convince Sasuke and Sakura to go on this double date together.

Another important note: when trying to convince the one of the opposite gender to go on this double date, either get your partner-in-crime to do it or your boyfriend you'd take if you're like me and you're not all that close with the boy. So while Kiba was sent to convince Sasuke, I was off to get Sakura.

"Please! I'm really starting to like him! But you know Kiba…he's so wild-natured! I don't want to go on a date alone with him yet until I've deemed him to definitely be a good guy for me! Do it for me?" I pleaded with Sakura.

Sakura sighed. "But…who would I be going with?"

"Why just the one and only Sasuke Uchiha!"

Sakura immediately seemed nervous. "Sasuke? Really?"

I nodded my head. "Kiba's actually asking him to come as we speak! Imagine his reaction if he says yes but you say no! At least leave it open!"

Sakura sighed again. "Alright, fine, I'll go on your…double date. But is it really considered a date between me and Sasuke?"

"Only if the two of you want it to be, okay?"

Sakura seemed to consider it for a moment before finally consenting. I gave her the time and place and told her I'd be back later with the results of whether or not Sasuke would be coming.

As it turned out, Kiba was successful in convincing Sasuke to come, and now everything was set.

Step two- the date

A wise idea for something like this would be to arrange the date one, in a public place, and two, a place where everyone can interact. What better place than a movie? Everybody's together, commenting occasionally on the movie, maybe exchanging quick chats, and bonding at the same time.

Sasuke/Sakura example- Well, seeing as we were going to see a movie, only a few things happened. For one, there was a dispute about which movie to watch.

Take note: a bloody, gory, action film is a definite no-no on precious dates like these, a romance will get a guy so out of the mood to be romantic because they'll be disgusted it's not even funny, and a comedy is best for friends all being together looking for a laugh-out-loud time.

So what did we choose? Why a horror movie of course. What better way does a guy get a girl to cling onto him?

There was only one default…uh, hello? We're ninja, people who go through about thirty life-or-death situations each year thanks to high-danger missions. I think the old pair of underwear we found under Naruto's bed two years ago scared us more than the movie did.

Though there is one thing that I did notice during the movie which was oh-so-amazing and a definite sign Sasuke and Sakura are ready to fall in love and live happily ever after together. Their fingers were laced together through almost the entire movie. (Insert happy fangirl squeal.)

Eight- Set up on an actual date

By now, honestly, I would hope that your couple has already gotten together. Yeah, sure, Sasuke and Sakura held hands throughout the movie, but there was nothing after that! So now came the time where we get them to set up an actual date!

Step one- poke and prod

If you can't get them to do it themselves, you poke at them until they do.

Sasuke/Sakura example- I'll tell you, Sasuke and Sakura holding hands during the movie was the perfect material for me to use in order to help me convince them to go out.

"Don't act like I didn't see that hand-holding action going on." I grinned at Sakura as we sat in a little coffee shop.

Sakura blushed and didn't look at me. "He's the one who grabbed my hand."

"And you didn't pull away." I pointed out.

Sakura looked towards me. "Well I couldn't just pull it away. That would kinda ruin the effect of being on your little double date."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, why don't you just ask him out?"

"Why don't you just leave me alone?"

Meanwhile, across town Kiba had a different approach to Sasuke asking Sakura out. And I didn't figure it out till later that step two was already in action.

Step two- the first real date

This unfortunately I have no example for. I left, met up with Kiba later that night, he told me about what he did, and by the time I finally found Sakura she was already at the doorstep to her apartment kissing Sasuke like they'd been doing it for years.

So what happened, everyone's probably wondering? Well, I could only get a description of it out of Kiba because he couldn't remember most of the actual words that were said.

Basically, he went to see Sasuke and like me mentioned the whole hand-holding deal. Sasuke had a reaction similar to Sakura's with a "just go away" attitude till finally in the most blatant way possible Kiba said, "I know you two are in love." But then he added on, "Now go ask Sakura out before I tell Naruto that you're gay and you tried to rape me."

Now, for us, when you put "tell Naruto" "gay" and "rape" all together in one sentence, you've got a problem that will only get worse if you don't smash it right then and there. So up and away Sasuke went, and since Kiba didn't follow him because he fell on the floor laughing for a good ten minutes, I have no idea what happened. I just know that they obviously went on some kind of date, and I found them making out in front of Sakura's place.

So basically step two would be: try to persuade them, if that doesn't work, threats are always an option.

'"'"'"'"

So now, if you're here reading the end of this book, and you have yet to be able to get your couple together, then…drop me a line via the address at the back of the book. Hopefully they'll have gotten together by step six though.

And now, my pupils, you have eight magic steps to getting two of your friends hooked up.

Disclaimer: I cannot be liable in any way for any break-ups, fights, or horrible endings this book may cause for a relationship…it was probably just not meant to be then, so suck it up….

'"'"'"'"

Naruto closed the book with a laugh as he turned towards Ino. "So that's how Teme and Sakura started dating! I never knew you'd actually write a book about it!"

Ino shrugged. "Hey, all in a day's work. Though getting them together took forever."

Naruto laughed again. "Yeah, Kiba was smart though! If he really had told me those things I would have freaked! But I knew Teme and Sakura were into each other."

"Didn't everybody... Where are they now anyway?" Ino asked.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno…in the forest making out or something."

"Ooh, la, la." Ino giggled. "Man, Sakura and Sasuke are lucky they have a friend like me around to help them get in touch with their feelings. They'd both still be single if they didn't have me!"

"Yeah," Naruto chuckled as he flipped through the pages of the book. "Wait a minute…hey! These are the same things that happened to me and Hinata before we got together! You never wrote a book about us!"

"Well, you guys kinda got together by step five, so I couldn't use you guys."

"Oh…yeah…wait, hey! You were using us?"

Ino shook her head. "The mind of a Naruto…."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

Ino sighed. "Never mind…now get out of here. I have to close the shop."

Naruto looked around. "Oh, right, yeah. It's nighttime." Naruto began to head for the door. "Catch ya later Ino! I'm gonna use this book and see if I can get Bushy Brows a girl or something!"

As Naruto closed the door Ino shook her head. "The things writing can do…I'm gonna be a hit!"

THE END

Woooooow…! I just went from the top of the third page to the bottom of the fourteenth! Holy crap! That's a lot of writing for one sitting! Holy crap! It's 11:30 at night! Holy crap! Tomorrow's the last day of 2009! Dear lord! I'm tired! (Heh, you people were expecting "holy crap" huh? Well it's not holy so get over it!) Agh…mind…being…warped. I only had two glasses of soda and I'm getting sudden jolts of excitement, random movement when music was playing…and now I'm at the crash as I finally come to the close of this story…. Yaaawn…it took me forever to write the first two pages and then I get all this done! Man! And this'll be the first oneshot I've published in a while! Granted, it's a very long oneshot. It's very close to being 6000 words, now writing on the 15th page. Now about to seriously crash and fall asleep on my laptop…. Yawn…well, till later then!
And just a couple notes: 1) No, these steps I came up with would probably never work, do not try them at home. 2) I do not support or reject the idea of KibaIno. I was going to use Sai, but then I changed my mind. 3) Yay SasuSaku! XD 4) That is all….