A/N: This was actually written as a prologue to a story I've been working on recently. But since I'm not sure if I want to post the story or not, I wanted to post this piece anyway because I find it humorous. As a sidenote, I was listening to Geek in the Pink by Jason Mraz when I wrote this.
Disclamer: I do not own Bones, Jack Hodgins or Zack Addy. Although if I did... we would see this scene for real.
"I don't understand why you want me to follow you."
"If I go to another one of these fundraisers alone, I'll hang myself out of boredom. Besides, I want you to meet Greg and Sarah. They're like my family, okay?"
"You haven't seen them in 7 years."
"Yeah, well, we hang in different circles."
"I don't-"
"It means that I spend my time in a lab, while they've spent the majority of their lives digging up skeletons in southern Africa."
"Human skeletons?"
"No. If they did, we would have more to talk about. No, digging up dinosaurs, that kind of stuff. Now, stand still."
"I don't like wearing a tie."
"You better get used to it. If you're planning on staying at the Jeffersonian after you get your doctorate, Cam is going to want you to dress more professionally. Stop… fidgeting!"
"You're going to cut off my air supply. And what's wrong with the way I dress now?"
"Nothing's wrong, except that you look like a twelve year old boy. And I'll be careful, okay? Just let me tie your goddamn tie."
"Why didn't you just bring Angela? She dresses better than me and she's better at socializing. Also, she can dance."
"I'm starting to change my mind! Besides, you're my best friend. There, finally. Now, put on your suit jacket, and we'll get going."
"Are you sure you want me to go with you?"
"It's too late to change anything now. There's only thirty minutes until the fundraiser begins; and maybe I'll survive if I take someone with me. Besides, Greg and Sarah said they wanted to meet you."
"Really?"
"You sound surprised."
"People usually choose to ignore me, not to meet with me on a fundraiser ball."
"Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little bit. They wanted to meet with me, and I suggested I'd take a friend with me. They seemed alright with the idea, so I figured why not."
"That was not an exaggeration, that was a lie."
"Meant to protect your feelings, but Wonder Boy isn't content with it. Just… they like smart people, so act… you. Only tone down a little bit on the scientific words. They're archeologists, not geniuses like you."
"I can either act like me, or I can't."
"Be quiet then. Don't speak unless spoken to."
"You sound like my mother."
"That doesn't surprise me. They're my friends, okay? I haven't seen them in seven years, as you said. We'll have plenty of stuff to talk about. You just… sit beside me."
"I'm just there for my looks?"
Hodgins almost crashed the car.
"Where did you hear that saying?"
"From Angela. She was discussing her date she had that night with Dr. Saroyan. She said he was, and I quote: 'Hot, but stupid. He was probably just there for his looks. I was thinking about following him home, but chose the cute blond by the bar instead.'"
Hodgins looked at him briefly before he turned back to the road.
"Yeah, well don't repeat it to anybody. Ever."
"Okay."
They were quiet for a while.
"Zack, what are you doing?"
"I'm loosening the tie."
"Well, stop. It's not my fault you didn't have any and had to borrow from me."
"I could have worn my bow tie."
"You look like a sixteen-year old going to prom in that one. If you're face is going to be shown next to mine, then the least thing you can do is to look decent."
"I didn't ask you to bring me."
"I know you didn't. Now fix your tie."
Zack glared at him before straightening the tie.
"Good boy. When we get to the raiser, treat yourself to a biscuit."
"I'm not a dog."
"I was thinking more in the line of a puppy."
"People keep saying I look like one."
"I wonder why."
"I would presume it is because I have very youthful features, although I fail to see how that connects me with a young Canis Lupus Familiaris."
"Just say 'dog'."
"Dog."
"I didn't mean now."
"When do you mean?"
Hodgins sighed, quickly shooting a glare in Zack's direction.
"What?" Zack asked, "Do you want me to strangle myself with the tie more?"
"No, you're fine. Let's just get this night over with. Thank god Greg and Sarah are going to be there, two hours with you and rich folks kissing my ass and I would shoot myself."
"You've never seemed suicidal when in my company."
"Then you've obviously never been to a fundraiser with me."
"I haven't."
"Well, now you're going to."
"I know."
The rest of the ride was more or less silent. Hodgins parked the car and walked into the building with the company of a nervous Zack.
"Mr. Hodgins" a large middle-aged man in a blue suit greeted him. "And who is the gentleman in your company?"
"Zack Addy" Zack said, reaching his hand forward. He may be socially retarded but at least he was taught to be polite, Hodgins thought as the man shook Zack's hand.
"Dean Burke." The man said politely. "I'm the chief of the hospital."
"Yeah, it's so nice to meet you" Hodgins said, "Would you mind telling us where the bar is?"
Burke raised an eyebrow but pointed his hand in a direction.
"The band will start playing in fifteen minutes. Food will be served in forty." Burke said, and spotting a new couple entering the building, added: "I'll talk to you later, Mr. Hodgins." Before walking past them to greet the newly arrived.
"Come on, I need a drink." Hodgins said, grabbing Zack by the arm and steering him in the direction of the bar.
"Aren't we going to meet up with your friends?" Zack asked as they pushed themselves through the people in the way of their destination.
"Greg and Sarah will be here in about ten minutes. Their plane didn't land until twenty minutes ago."
"Okay." Zack said as Hodgins ordered them two funny named drinks.
"I don't drink." He pointed out as the yellowish drinks were put before them.
"I know you don't. They're for me." Hodgins said, grabbing the two glasses and walking off to a calm corner.
"Do you think it's wise to get intoxicated so early in the party?" Zack asked worriedly as his friend began downing the first drink.
"It's never unwise to get drunk, Zack. If you're not, then you're not going to survive this."
"How am I supposed to survive this, then?"
"When we get home, we can watch Star Trek or something. As a reward for sacrificing your Friday night to listen to people kiss ass in my company."
"I assume you mean that metaphorically? The kissing your ass part?"
"I sincerely hope so."
Hodgins drank up the last of his drinks.
"I'm thirsty. I'm going to go ask the bartender if they have any water, okay?" Zack said suddenly.
"Bring me another one of these darlings." Hodgins said, waving the empty glasses in the air. Zack nodded and left in the direction of the bar. Hodgins sighed, putting the empty glasses on a nearby table.
He leaned back against the wall, waiting for Zack to bring him back his drink. He noticed how a woman dressed in a black dress and red lipstick approached him. He inwardly sighed and forced a smile on his face.
"Mr. Hodgins" the red-haired woman said, smiling broadly.
Bring the ass-kissing on.
"Mrs. Warner, nice to meet you again." He said, taking her hand in his and carefully kissing her hand.
"Nice to meet you too. Donating money to the hospital again?" she asked. Gabrielle Warner was a widow since two years back. Her husband, 45 years older than her, had died of a heartattack and being childless, left her with millions of dollars which she spent buying shoes and occasionally donating to different hospitals and museums.
"Yes. They're doing some interesting research on some sickness I can't pronounce." He said. Gabrielle laughed a rather fake-sounding laugh.
"Yes, it's all very interesting." She said and Hodgins couldn't decide if she was being sarcastic or not.
"Did you bring a date with you here?" she asked curiously. Last time they had met, 6 months ago on another fundraiser, she had flirted with him non-stop. She had been pleased to know he was single then, and it seemed she hadn't forgotten her earlier politeness towards him.
"Well…" he wasn't really sure if he would count Zack as his date more than somebody who he dragged along with him. Zack chose that moment to appear with two glasses in his hands; another yellow one for Jack and a glass of water with lemon in it for himself.
"I'm sorry it took a while, the bartender demanded I should show my ID and I couldn't find it…" he said, giving the drink to Jack who accepted it. "Hi?" he said awkwardly, looking at Gabrielle.
Gabrielle made a 'oh' sound and looked surprised. Then she smiled.
"Oh, he's cute!" she commented, looking at Jack and nodding towards Zack. Zack's eyebrows furrowed.
"Oh, and I totally support all of your rights. I can't believe some people discriminate you." She said to Zack who looked confused.
"Thank you?" he asked, his eyebrows slightly pointing down in confusion.
"Oh, it's nothing to thank about. I mean, you're just as human as everybody else. Just because you're a little bit different, doesn't mean you deserve less respect than anybody else. Now, if you excuse me, I need to go talk to Mr. Burke." She said, walking away.
"…Was she talking about our professions?" Zack asked Hodgins, confused. Jack could feel a blush on his cheeks, but what the hell, it scared Gabrielle away from him and it's not like Zack would ever know.
"Um, yeah." He said, swallowing some of his drink. It wasn't that strong, and he could feel that he would need a few more if he was going to enjoy this party.
He spent a few more minutes talking about experiments with Zack, and occasionally making a little chit-chat with some people. Then he noticed the two people entering the building, and he smiled, nudging Zack and pointing.
"Greg and Sarah's arrived." He said and he saw Zack's eyes finding the couple.
Greg was about as tall as Zack, with short black slick hair, lively green eyes, and Hodgins noticed that he now had a mustache as black as his hair positioned on his upper lip. Sarah was quite short, with elbow-lengthened brown hair, blue eyes, a small nose and freckles. They both politely greeted Burke, but quickly abandoned him and searched the many faces for a familiar one.
Hodgins, sure that they wouldn't recognize him with his beard, hooked his arm through Zack's and dragged him towards the couple. He stopped right in front of them, letting go of Zack and grinning towards his old friends. They stared at him for a while, until…
"Jack?" Sarah said with eyes as wide as saucers. Jack's grin got even wider and he answered:
"Last time I checked."
Sarah smiled brightly and Greg had a small smile on his face. He had never really been one for being emotional in public, while Sarah was the exact opposite.
"Jack Hodgins, you old bastard." Greg said in a joking voice, grabbing Jack's arm and shaking it, "You look… old."
"Oh, quiet Greg" Sarah said, smacking Greg's shoulder, "He's only joking Jack. You look mature. Looks like Greg weren't the only one who grew facial hair once he got the chance to."
"Oh, and this is my friend I told you about, Zack Addy." Hodgins said, remembering Zack was there.
"Why hi. I'm Sarah." Sarah said.
"Gregory Jenkins, but you can just call me Greg." Greg said. Zack made an awkward little wave and Jack rolled his eyes.
"Z-man, do you mind… Greg, Sarah, do you want anything?" he said quickly to his two friends who politely denied. "Alright. Zack, can you go fetch us a piece of cake?"
"They're not serving food yet." Zack said confused.
"Tell them… you're the butler of Jack Hodgins and that your master demands a piece of cake."
Zack still looked confused, but nodded slowly and trailed off in the search of the chef.
"Did he get that you were kidding?" Greg asked as they seated themselves down around a table and watched the figure of Zack Addy disappearing in the crowd.
"I don't think he did. I told you he is… special when it comes to socializing." He said, grabbing champagne from a passing waiter.
"He looked a bit like a lost puppy." Sarah said and frowned when she saw Jack excitedly drink some champagne. "Last time we saw each other it was barely legal for you to drink that."
"Well, a lot of things change in seven years. How about you, you got married! She finally threatened to leave you, Greg?" Hodgins winked to his friend. Sarah had always been enthusiastic about marriage, while Greg had been less than excited of the thought.
"What can I say, I changed my mind." Greg said, smiling to his wife.
"It only took us six years of dating to get there." She said, kissing Greg.
"I still say that's not that long."
"Oh, quiet you."
Hodgins shook his head, amused, at his two old friends.
"Anything interesting in your life, then? No significant other?" Greg asked.
"Not really. I have this girl in work who I'm a bit interested in, but I'm not sure yet how I feel about her." Jack answered truthfully.
"Not sure if it's just a physical attraction or something more?" Greg asked.
"Exactly."
The band started playing, and immediately a few people went up to dance some old-timey waltz.
"Care to dance with me, Jack Hodgins?" Sarah asked, standing up and reaching her hand for him to take.
"Of course, m'lady" Jack answered, kissing her hand and getting up. Seeing as they were about the same height, it was easier to dance with her.
"So tell me about this girl." Sarah immediately said as they started dancing around on the floor. Hodgins sighed.
"I'm telling you, I'm not even sure how I feel about her yet. Her name's Angela and she's an artist."
"She has a pretty name."
"Yeah, well many people have pretty names. I mean, Jack just sounds absolutely handsome."
"Oh, you're the same Jack Hodgins I knew so many years ago."
The song ended and they separated, finding their way back to their table. They found Zack deep in conversation with Greg about the findings of some new dinosaur race, two plates of cake forgotten on the table. Jack recognized the cake as a layered pound cake with raspberry jam and lemon curd, and buttercream frosting.
"Wow, Z-man, who knew you could talk like a normal person." Hodgins said as he sat down. Now that he thought about it, Zack and Greg could probably get along. They were both passionate about science, and they had the same tendency to be become robotic at times, even though Greg was much more of a people-person than Zack.
"Was that a rhetorical question?" Zack asked in response. Jack sighed and grabbed a plate of cake instead of answering.
"At least you got me my cake. Good dog." He said, grabbing his fork and tasting a piece. It wasn't the best he had ever had, but it defiantly wasn't the worst either.
"I thought we decided that I was a human being." Zack said, pouting.
"That was before you literally fetched me what I asked for. If I asked you to bring the morning paper, would you?"
"If we were to watch Star Trek afterwards."
"Oh, you and your damn rewards."
Sarah looked at them, an amused look on her face and an eyebrow raised. Greg simply looked at them.
"So, Zack told me you've had some interesting work this past year." Greg said.
"Yeah, our boss, Dr. Brennan, partnered up with this guy from the FBI last year. We help them on some murder cases where the bodies are far too decomposed for them to identify."
"That sounds exciting."
"I guess it is. I'm still thinking it's all just a set-up the government made."
"Still with the conspiracy theories, I see." Sarah said.
"It's like a hobby, only more interesting than golf. You won't believe some of the stuff the government has done."
"I've heard my share of it" he heard Zack mumble to himself. True, he often spoke his theories out loud with his best friend, but he didn't think he overdid it.
"Let me guess, they've planted bugs in your sugar cubes?" Greg asked.
"How did you know?" Hodgins asked back, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"But is there anything going on with your work? Besides putting murderers behind bars?" Sarah asked. Jack had a feeling she was trying to get more information on Angela, but he wasn't about to give it to her.
"Not that much. Zack's still working on his thesis, maybe one day he'll get his lazy ass in gear and actually finish it. We got ourselves a new boss, Dr. Saroyan."
"How is he?"
"Dr. Saroyan is a woman." Zack pointed out.
"She's… bossy, to say the least. She seems like she's good at her job, but she's overdoing the boss-role. She demands that we report every single finding to her, and Zack and I can't even do experiments without telling her first. It just takes up time to go report everything to her." Hodgins said.
"She's trying to be professional." Zack said.
"You just like her because she gave you a nickname. Besides, she's totally made you her bitch."
"So I went from a human being to a female dog?"
"Not what that means, Zack." Hodgins turned back to Greg and Sarah. "But forget our work, how about yours?"
Greg scoffed.
"Yeah, 'cause digging up old dinosaurs in South Africa is so much more exciting than solving murders. I swear, from what I've heard from you, your workplace seems like a goddamn drama show."
"They could probably make one based on our work. I've told you about Brennan and Booth, right?" Hodgins said. Greg and Sarah nodded.
"Brenth." Sarah said. Hodgins and Zack stared at her while Greg smirked, looking down in his glass.
"Brenth?" Hodgins asked. Sarah smiled.
"Yeah, Brenth. You know, Brennan and Booth. Brenth."
"That just sounds like a Chinese mint.
"Come on, it's funny."
"You've gotten weirder over the years."
"Very funny, Jack. Like, you and that Angela girl? You'd be Hodgela."
Hodgins looked down on the table in embarrassment. Sarah was acting like he was about to propose to the goddamn woman. He wasn't even sure if he wanted anything yet.
"Anyways" Hodgins said, steering away from the subject, "They've just gotten worse. A whole year's gone and they're still pretending they don't like each other. It's painfully obvious."
"They sound like a couple from some romantic novel. Two individuals, both with a painful past, find peace and solace in each other. But they can't be together, so they have to pretend that nothing more than friendship exists between them." Sarah said in a dreamy voice. Hodgins chuckled while Zack looked at her with a confused look on his face.
"Still a romantic at heart, I see." Hodgins said. Sarah smiled.
"Food will be served in fifteen minutes." Somebody announced at the speakers. Hodgins smirked, swallowing down his last piece of cake. He turned to Zack who had barely touched his.
"Are you going to eat that?" he asked. Zack looked down on the cake, and then up to his friend.
"In due time, maybe." He answered. Hodgins rolled his eyes and grabbed the plate from him. "Hey!"
"You can get a new piece when deserts are served." Hodgins said, attacking the cake with his fork. He looked at Zack briefly and almost coughed up the cake in amusement from Zack's disappointed pout.
"It's still rude." He said, folding his hands in his lap. Hodgins swallowed his bite.
"No, it's what people usually do, share deserts when the other person is too skinny to finish their piece."
"My body figure has nothing to do with the question if I was going to digest the rest of the pastry."
"Let me put it this way: if I saw a fat person happily eating their cake without a care in the world, I'd leave them at it. But if I see a tall and lanky twelve-year old brutally murdering their cake with their fork; I'll do the cake a favor and end its misery quickly by eating it."
"Cake doesn't have emotions or feelings. Also, I'm not twelve."
"I'm sorry; I'm sorry" Hodgins said, holding his hands in front of him in a defensive way, "You're sixteen. Got it."
Zack furrowed his eyebrows while Sarah was holding a hand in front of her mouth, trying to hide her giggles. Greg looked between the two men with an interested look on his face.
"I was sixteen when I graduated at collage, and that was nine years ago." Zack said confused. Hodgins noticed Greg's face change and he understood he was doing math. Greg had always loved math, but he was never any good with it.
"Nine…" he muttered. "You're twenty-five years old?" he asked. Zack nodded.
"You graduated collage at sixteen?" Sarah asked. Zack nodded again.
"That's Boy Wonder for you." Hodgins said, patting Zack on the shoulder and swallowed down the last piece of Zack's cake. He put it down, grabbing a napkin. Unfortunately for him, his beard often caught pieces of food in it.
"You've got frosting in your beard." Zack said and pointed. Hodgins dried it off and turned back to his friends.
"Well, that was actually quite nice." Hodgins said as they sat in his Mini, on their way home.
"It was much more enjoyable than you made it out to be." Zack said, relaxed back in his seat. Well, as relaxed as Zack could be in a car with Hodgins driving it.
"Well, I've never actually had people to talk to before. We should do it again sometime. Greg seemed to like you."
"He had some interesting points of references on the Eoraptor and even on the Australopithecus afarensis."
"You mean Lucy."
"They are also called that, yes. He didn't treat me like I was a freak."
"You're not a freak, Zack."
"You've told me I am on multiple occasions."
"Well… I don't really mean it. It's a joke."
"It's not very funny."
"It's a… required humor. So, Greg, huh?" Hodgins added in a slightly higher voice, "He was interesting to talk to?"
"Yes. He told me about his and Sarah's work in Southern Africa. It was interesting, even if they don't work with human remains."
"Well, at least you were in your right element. I was stuck with Sarah talking about marriage and love and babies."
"Are you uncomfortable in such subjects?"
"I wasn't until she told me about her and Greg."
"What did she say?"
"Well… as you may have noticed, Sarah's a bit… fluttery. She doesn't hold back on personal secrets and talks a lot. She's not the person to tell your secrets to."
"I noticed that."
"And Greg's the opposite, not very emotional when in public and he can take some secrets with him to the grave. He's a bit like you."
"I didn't notice that."
"Well, I guess it's easier to notice someone who stands out in a crown of your world. Anyways, she started talking about how she and Greg have tried getting kids for like six months now, but nothing's happening."
"I assume you mean that they have engaged in sexual intercourse without success?"
"Yeah. Anyways, she asked me to give Greg some pointers. And that is something I'm seriously uncomfortable doing."
"You've given me sexual advice on occasions."
"Well, I was still uncomfortable. Besides, that's different. You're my best friend. Greg is like the brother I never had."
"You haven't seen him in years."
"Actually, I saw him just ten minutes ago."
"I meant before the fundraiser."
"I know. I was pretending to be you."
"I'm not like that."
"You are."
"Not."
"And how am I supposed to believe you're twenty-five if you act like that?"
"Look at my birth certificate."
"I was being sarcastic."
"Oh."
"Anyways, luckily enough, Greg decided to dance with her before I had the time to be pressured into accepting."
"That's why you acted so unusual when I tried engaging in conversation with you?"
"Yes and no. No because you were talking about decomposed corpses while I tried to eat and it creeped me out. Along with the old lady at our table. I think she thought you were a necrophiliac."
"I'm not engaged in necrophilia."
"I know you aren't. The old lady wasn't as sure. Anyways, I pretended I forgot the subject and the rest of the night went on pretty smoothly. If you ignore that middle-aged lawyer hitting on you all night."
"He never inflicted physical pain on me."
"How about mental pain then?"
"…I believe he was a homosexual, and for some reason thought I was too. I don't have anything against homo- or bisexuals, but it 'creeped me out', if am I to speak in your words."
"I'm actually offended."
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No, I meant, the lawyer obviously thought you were gay because you were with me."
"So he thought we were together in an intimate sense, rather than the literal sense, being in the same building? But if he thought you and I were dating, then why did he approach me in the first place?"
"Because he thought you could do better than me. That's why I'm offended."
"We're not dating, Hodgins."
"I know we're not. It's just a blow to the ego, I guess."
"So you mean that you think that if I was a homosexual, I should be with you rather than the lawyer because you are exceptionally attractive and I couldn't find a man better than you?"
Hodgins looked at Zack with a what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about-look.
"Where the hell did that come from?"
"I was just trying to decipher what you were saying. I'm sorry if it upset you."
Hodgins looked at Zack briefly before turning back to the road.
"No, it's okay. Just never say anything like that in public. People can get the wrong idea. I'm straight."
"Straight as in heterosexual, correct?"
"Correct. I'm straight, Zack."
"I know you are. You remind me constantly."
"Just don't say anything in the likes of your earlier statement around anybody but me."
"I won't."
"Good genius."
"I am."
"You never stop talking, do you?"
"When I am sleeping or am concentrating on something else. Do you wish to stop conversing?"
"Nah, it's alright. What time is it?" Hodgins asked, not taking his eyes off the road. He saw Zack look at his wrist in the corner of his eye.
"Twenty past nine. We can watch one episode of Star Trek, and then I should go to bed."
"It's a Friday, Z-man. We're both free tomorrow."
"We never know if a body is found."
"Have you ever stayed up past 1AM?"
"On New Year's Eve."
"Then it's time to live on the edge, geek-style. We're gonna stay up to 2AM watching Star Trek."
"Why? You don't even enjoy watching it that much."
"Because I'm trying to turn you into a human being. And sure, I prefer other science fiction movies or shows, but you like it, so I'll sacrifice myself."
"We can watch Star Wars instead, if you would find it more enjoyable."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I think the movies are very entertaining and I would like it if you were to watch something you find entertaining as well."
"You don't get normal human socializing, but you know that I prefer Star Wars over Star Trek?"
"As you said, you're my best friend. I'm supposed to know things like these."
"I guess. Well, it's settled then. Star Wars and you're not going to bed sooner than 3AM."
"I never agreed to that."
Yeah, really subtle hints of Zack/Jack. Especially at the end.