Chapter 1

The whiteness unnerved her. It was the same dreary whiteness as in that other place, the same dullness that filled her days with nothing but waiting. Some things never changed. Everything was white – the walls, the ceiling, the yukata she was wearing. Absolute monotony. On the other hand, nothing has changed, except for the location.

Orihime was sitting on a chair in a small room staring at the crescent moon outside of her barred window. She felt cursed, like she couldn't escape the same endless cycle that has been haunting her since she met him. At least in that place he kept her company. But here, nobody visited her, except for a random servant bringing her meals a few times a day.

Nobody forced her to eat, nobody forced her to speak, nobody forced her to think. Back then, he made her feel anger, helplessness, despair. He made her feel. But in this place, nobody came for her.

The door opened and she heard someone coming in. Orihime reluctantly turned her head looking at an unfamiliar Shinigami she has never seen before.

There was no sympathy in his eyes. There was no sympathy anywhere, just like she expected.

"It's time to go." He said curtly.

Orihime nodded and stood up in compliance.

Four months ago…

Orihime watched in horror as Ichigo's Hollow was slaughtering Ulquiorra. It couldn't possibly be Ichigo. Ichigo was her friend, Ichigo was a nice and kind person, Ichigo would never do this. The monster in front of her could not be Ichigo.

But that did not make her feel any better. It was all her fault that he came out. If only she was stronger, if only she tried doing something, instead of crying for his help. Orihime felt disgusted with herself. Her friends came to rescue her, and she failed them. All of them.

She watched helplessly as Hollow Ichigo stood menacingly over Ulquiorra's broken body, preparing to attack him again.

"How very hollow-like." Ulquiorra's voice was barely audible. "I don't care. I have no reason to live now that you've beaten me."

Such an awful thing to say! Orihime wanted to scream at him. How can you just give up?

Nobody heard her. Then, she saw Ichigo lowering his sword to Ulquiorra's neck.

Orihime wanted to cry, to yell for Ichigo to stop. Ulquiorra was still alive. Ichigo couldn't just kill him like this. But no words came out.

You are pathetic. She heard a faint voice inside her head.

Orihime felt even worse. She was pathetic. She came to Hueco Mundo to protect her friends. But instead, she caused the one she wanted to help the most to become an abomination.

Her eyes trailed after Ishida, who came up to Ichigo trying to prevent him from committing another atrocity. She felt slight hope building up. Maybe there was still a chance to bring Ichigo back, to save him. Maybe Ishida could reach him. But, everything came crushing and burning as she watched Ichigo rising up his hand and ramming Zangetsu into Ishida's stomach.

It was all over. Ichigo was lost. Ishida was going to die, and she was next.

Orihime watched Ishida flying across the dome, then Ichigo casting his cero at him.

It was hopeless. They were all going to die.

Suddenly, Ulquiorra appeared behind Ichigo with his lance in his hand. Boom! Everything exploded. It was pure chaos.

After the smoke cleared, Orihime saw Ichigo's mask crumbling to the ground, revealing the human behind it. The monster was finally gone.

Ichigo collapsed releasing a huge surge or riatsu. Orihime expected him to be dead, to have a hole on his chest. Yet, there was nothing but solid skin. A few seconds ticked until he regained consciousness.

Orihime should've felt relief, she should've been happy. Ichigo was alive and well. He was finally back to his normal self. And she was glad, but she was far from happy.

This wasn't how Orihime imagined to be rescued. She never wanted for Ichigo to sacrifice his humanity for her sake. But he did, and it was because of her. It was because she was selfish and useless.

She wasn't worthy to be rescued. She wasn't even worthy to have friends. The only thing she deserved was to be left in this desolate place to rot. Orihime wished she was dead.

She turned her head to Ulquiorra, the ghost of a man who treaded on her shadow in this Hell. She watched his wing exploding and slowly disintegrating. He was dying. This is the kind of fate she deserved. Yet, she couldn't get even that.

Ulquiorra met her gaze locking his eyes with hers. Orihime felt strangely at peace. It was a bizarre feeling to have sympathy for the enemy, the very same enemy who killed the boy she thought she loved. She should've been angry, she should've been repulsed. Yet, she felt a strange sense of kinship with him. He was an outsider, who didn't look like he belonged anywhere, and so was she.

"Are you scared of me, girl?"

Orihime saw his arm extending towards her. He was slowly turning to ash. Just a little bit longer and he will completely disappear.

Even after everything that he has done: the violence, the murder, the despair, Orihime was not afraid of him. Maybe she should've been. But she wasn't, and she didn't even feel guilty about it.

"I am not scared." she replied, extending her arm back to him.

"I see." was all he said.

Orihime thought she heard a hint of surprise in his voice. Did he expect a different answer? Did he want a different answer? She wanted answers herself. She wanted answers to why she felt the way she did, why she was never afraid. Why she was never angry at him, when by all means of common sense she should've been. Orihime felt confused and conflicted. But most importantly, she wasn't ready to say "good-bye" to him yet.

Orihime tried to grab on to Ulquiorra's hand, but her fingers went through his. There was nothing but ash.

Take me with you! Her mind screamed.

But there was no answer.

**

Orihime didn't know for how long she stood there staring at the place where Ulquiorra was. He was long gone, but the distant pain in her chest remained. She knew nothing anymore. What was happening to her?

"Inoue…" she finally heard Ichigo behind her.

Orihime did not want to turn around. She did not want to face him. Shame and self-loathing consumed her.

There were explosions in the distance. Someone was fighting.

"It's Rukia, Renji, and Chad." Ichigo said. "It is safe here now. I'll leave you to take care of Ishida."

Orihime nodded without turning around. A second later she heard Ichigo rushing away.

So much for the rescue.

Almost mechanically, she turned around and started walking towards Ishida. He was breathing very hard and lost a lot of blood. Orihime winced at the size of the wound on his stomach.

"Sōten Kisshun, I reject." She said quietly, watching her fairies create a warm glow around him.

Ishida looked up at her and tried to smile in reassurance, but Orihime couldn't look back. She cast her gaze aside.

"Inoue-san. It's all over now. Kurosaki is ok."

If only he knew how hollow those words sounded to her. Hollow…

Little by little, Ishida's wound started to close up and his arm was restored. But Orihime did not notice. Her gaze remained transfixed on the ground and her thoughts went to the place where her demon disappeared to.

An overwhelming sense of longing washed over her. Ichigo was gone, Ishida was healed. They did not need her anymore.

But he did. Even after everything that has happened between them, he still reached for her in his last moments. But she couldn't save even him.

"I couldn't save him." She didn't mean to say it out loud.

"Don't worry. Kurosaki snapped out of it, didn't he?"

"Kuro-? What?" She looked up at Ishida in confusion, not realizing what she said a moment ago.

"Kurosaki became human again."

Orihime gave him a blank stare.

"You meant Kurosaki, right?" Ishida asked cautiously.

Orihime only continued staring at him while her mind raced. What if I…

"Inoue-san!"

"I'm sorry, Ishida-kun." She smiled regretfully. "Soten Kisshun, I reject!"

"What are you doing?!"

"I can't let it end like this. He did not deserve that kind of death."

"Are you talking about…?" Ishida asked in disbelief. "No, you can't!"

"I'm sorry." Orihime whispered, turning her back to him and concentrating on her shield.

"What if he turns on us again? Did you consider that?!"

But Orihime did not hear him. Everyone deserved a second chance. Ichigo was her hero, the center of her world. But he turned into a monster, and hurt them. Yet, Ichigo survived. But the monster, that saved them, did not. Where was fairness in that?

She remembered Ulquiorra's face just before he disappeared. She could've sworn she saw remorse, tenderness, and longing. That face haunted her. She couldn't get it out of her mind. Was he really the enemy?

Orihime did not know for how long she stood there. She finally looked inside the shield. Nothing. There were no traces of Ulquiorra. She concentrated harder, pushing her riatsu to the limit. What is the point of having this power if I can't even bring one person back?

"I reject!" she screamed again.

"You are pushing yourself too hard. If you continue like this, you will collapse." She heard Ishida behind her.

But Orihime did not care. She was NOT useless.

Ishida put his hand on her shoulder squeezing it gently.

"Seems like it's impossible to bring the dead from the grave even for you. Maybe it's for the best." He said. "He was the enemy after all."

"Maybe he wasn't." she whispered lowering her arms.

The shield disappeared. There was nothing but sand.

**

A month later…

All of the Espada were defeated. The captains were victorious. However, the final assault against Aizen failed. Ichigo was their last chance against him, yet even he couldn't withstand Aizen's hypnosis. Aizen tricked them all and disappeared again. There were no traces of him anywhere. But the threat was still real, as it was assumed that he retreated to regroup and rebuild his army.

Orihime could finally give out a sigh of relief, the war was officially over. But she did not anticipate what came next. The Captain-General released a warrant for her arrest. The Soul Society did not only deem her as a traitor, to the greatest protests of Ichigo and the rest of her friends, but they also saw her powers as unstable. They did not trust that she won't misuse them. They also found out that she attempted to restore Ulquiorra. That one was the worst. And shortly after the war ended, Orihime was brought to Soul Society to stand trial.

After another disappointment, where she failed to bring Ulquiorra back, Orihime completely lost all faith in herself and the will to fight against the system. She was convinced that Ulquiorra wasn't the real enemy and she did not hide it. Despite Rukia's protest, threats, and pleadings, she refused to make amends. Orihime was not sorry she tried.

"They will execute you!" Rukia yelled through the cell bars. "Remember what happened to me? My crime wasn't as bad as yours, and I was almost killed! You stand no chance if you do not change your mind about this."

"I will not change my mind about anything." Orihime replied tonelessly.

"Do you want to die?!?" Rukia screamed.

"Maybe it will be for the best for everyone." Orihime said, having the image of Hollow Ichigo in her mind.

"You stupid fool!" Rukia had tears running down her cheeks. "You stupid fool."

Another week passed. Orihime's friends were allowed to visit her, yet no amount of reasoning brought her to her senses. Orihime simply did not care anymore. Despite Ichigo's demands to Yamamoto, and his past accomplishments, nobody listened to him. The news about his transformation leaked out as well. But since he had no control over his hollow when it happened, he got lucky. Soul Society decided to keep a close eye on him and to train him to maintain control over his hollow, instead of awarding him with the same treatment they gave Orihime.

The long and exhausting trial was finally over. Orihime did not budge. And her execution was scheduled in three months.

Her friends were not allowed to visit her anymore.

Present, the day of the execution…

Orihime trailed behind the Shinigami who came to get her from her cell. There were two guards on both sides of her, and one behind her. She wondered if it was necessary. Her hairpins were removed and given to the Department of Research and Development for studying. She was completely stripped of all her power. But despite that, she still had her hands tied behind her back, as a precaution.

Even after taking the source of her power away, they still saw her as a threat. Orihime found it a little funny that the power of one little girl, like herself, made Soul Society tick. Maybe they were right, even she did not know what she was capable of.

They finally reached the clearing where she will take her last breath. In just a few minutes, a giant fiery bird will be her final salvation. But, Orihime felt neither peace nor despair. She felt nothing. What will become of her afterwards?

I wonder if Rukia felt the same way.

All of her friends were there, but she refused to look at them. It was better to cut all ties, instead of shedding tears for the one unworthy.

Orihime finally stopped under the giant arc. She felt an invisible force rising her arms to her sides.

"Do you have any last requests?" the Captain-General asked her.

Orihime shook her head.

He nodded and gave the order to begin.

Orihime felt herself rising into the air. Just a few more minutes and it will all be over. No more nothingness, no more uselessness. She closed her eyes.

She felt enormous riatsu surrounding her. There was roar all around her. Just a little bit longer…

One moment she was in the air anticipating her doom, the next, she felt something enveloping her and carrying her away. Orihime opened her eyes. There was bright light everywhere. She could barely understand what was happening. But for just a split second, she thought she saw a pair of black wings.

Then, she felt warmth.