Chapter 19-Akatsuki Game Plan For Dummies

…

Ino wiped her mouth with her napkin.

"Please just kill them and go." She whispered to Hidan.

"I would if I could. Haven't gotten the fucking signal yet."

She rolled her eyes.

"Fucking leader is fucking useless…" the young Jashin-ist mumbled.

His left eye twitched as a loud "I CAN HEAR YOU, HIDAN!" was easily heard coming from his ear.

Kisame stifled a laugh.

"Whatever." Hidan said, embarrassed. "Can we just get this fucking thing over with already?"

"For once I agree with Hidan." Itachi said, "This is taking up valuable time."

"Yah! This place is boring! Un!"

(PLOT NO JUTSU!!!!!!!!!! OKAYYY SORRY ABOUT THIS NEXT PART! I KNOW KUZU IS DEAD BUT I LOVE HIM SO DAMN MUCH I HAD TO BRING HIM BACK XD LETS JUST SAY THIS: HE HURD HIDAN WALK BY SWEARING AND HE JUST HAD TO COME BACK! WHY? WELL IF UR A HUGE YAOI FAN LIKE ME, THEN IT'S BECAUSE DEY HAVE UNFINISHED BID-NESS 3 3 BUT IF UR NOT THEN HE CAME BACK BC HE NEVER KILLED HIM. AND HE WAS ALWAYS SAYING HE WULD. SO ONE HEART WAS JOLTED BACK TO LIFE AND SO HE WENT INTO THE NEAREST VILLAGE, COLLECTED 4 MORE, AND WENT BACK TO THE LAIR, K? YAY! I CAN'T MAKE A FANFIC WITHOUT THE EPICNESS OF HIDAN AND KAKUZU'S BITCH FIGHTING. ITS JUST NOT POSSIBLE! ANYWAYS WHERE WAS I? OH YAH!)

"Yah! This place is boring! Un!"

"Shut up or I'll kill you all. I can't concentrate on counting my money with all your bickering."

"Screw you, Kakuzu! You're already fucking ancient but the rest of us aren't getting any younger here!"

"One of these days I WILL kill you, Hidan."

"Right grandpa."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"OW! THAT WAS MY EAR DRUM, PEIN! YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Listen," The Akatsuki leader's voice lowered, and Ino strained her self to hear him.

"Directly behind Zetsu is the table you are to target. Their leader is getting up from the table right now. Konan slipped him a drug in his drink, so he'd have to head for the restroom."

Ino looked behind the over-grown plant.

A thin man in a black waiters suit stood there, holding a tray with 7 whine glasses on it. The man had short blue hair, and a paper rose was tucked into a pocket on his left breast, where a real one was usually put.

"I see." Ino thought, "she used the transformation Jutsu to tu—"

"OH MY JASHIN! That's fucking hysterical! She made him piss!? HA!"

"Shut up Hidan!" Peins angry voice retorted, obviously annoyed at being interrupted over something as immature as Hidan's potty jokes.

"Anyway," he said, "Hidan, you are to follow him in there, and make this quick. I want it to look like he died of a heart attack, understand?"

"Yah. Piece of cake."

Hidan rose from his seat and stalked after his prey.

Chapter 20-Rinnu

…

Just then a small women in a similar outfit to Konan's walked over to their table.

She looked about Ino's age, and her short, red hair was tied up in a messy bun, held together by 2 chopsticks.

She had bright green eyes, and a thin body.

She looked so innocent. Ino could tell she wasn't a Ninja.

Not only that, she had no battle experience at all.

The woman then placed a plain glass of water in front of each member. It momentarily stalled their plot.

"Hello," she said, "My name's Rinnu and I'll be your server this evening. If there's anything you need, please let me know."

She looked at Deidara who was eyeing his water skeptically.

What she didn't know, was inside his head, he was trying to figure out if he could blow up water. He liked blowing up ANYTHING.

To her, though, that scrutinized expression on his young face made it look like he found it unappealing.

"If you don't like plain water," she suggested, "then would any of you like some LEMON in your drink?"

"No thanks," Ino replied politely.

Kisame scowled. "Damn it, you stupid fan-fic writer! SHADDUP ALREADY!"

(NO CAN DO, KISAME XD)

When the redheaded waitress was gone, Pein continued.

"Now," he said, slightly annoyed at the delay, "Kisame will take out the rest of the table with one fowl swoop of Samehada, while Itachi uses his Mangekyou Sharingan to trick the rest of the restaurant into thinking nothing's happening. We want as little interference as possible, after all."

"Sounds easy enough, un."

"That's not all. If it was he wouldn't need all of us here."

"Kakuzu's right, Deidara. I need the rest of you too. There's a high possibility the group we're targeting has hired enemy ninja for protection. Chances are, they're here right now. Once Itachi casts his Genjutsu, look for the ones who release it. Also, this place is mainly for rich thugs. Many high-class criminals are bound to be here. So I need you, Kakuzu, to find any and all wallets, items, and PEOPLE that are worth something. And since so many criminals are here, at least one or two are bound to be ninja. Zetsu, eat any and all that get in our way. Does everyone understand?"

"What about me, un!"

"You have a special job, Deidara."

The blonde raised one eyebrow.

"Once we're done here," Pein continued, "You're going to get rid of all evidence that we're the one's who've been here. Understand what I mean?"

Deidara smiled "ART IS A BANG!"

Ino twitched uncomfortably. "What about all the people?" she asked, "They're all… They're all just going to… die?"

"As I said before, this isn't a nice place. And the people aren't either. It really doesn't matter if they die. They're just common criminals. Even the high-class thieves are weak and useless. We have information on everyone in here right now, including yourself. The only one without a criminal record is our red-headed waitress."

He let out an unnerving chuckle, "She's just here as a way to earn some extra money for her family."

Ino's blood ran cold. This man… he really didn't care what happened to that innocent girl? What a monster! Hidan seemed like a SAINT compared to him!

She shuddered at the thought.

Then Pein cleared his throat.

"Besides, we need to destroy all the evidence. Sacrifice is necessary in order to obtain peace."

Deidara's grin widened at the word "destroy".

Ino sank down into her chair.

And Kakuzu muttered to himself sarcastically. "Ha. 'Sacrifice is necessary to obtain peace'. Why do I feel I've heard THAT line before…"

Pein hissed.

"What ever." Ino said, "Just make it quick."

Itachi glared at her. "Go wait outside." He ordered.

"What? Why!"

"Because you're too weak to handle this. You'll only get in our way."

"I will no—"

"Leave. Now."

Ino scowled and stood up violently from her chair.

She spared one last, sympathetic glance at the small waitress, before heading out the front door.

"He said almost everyone in there is a criminal…" She thought, "ALMOST everyone."

And she felt her stomach drop as she pictured the explosions, and the faces of all those unsuspecting people as they died.

Those people had families. They had homes, and jobs, and lives. Lives that were just going to be taken away so easily…

In particular, she felt bad for Rinnu.

All those people had families, yes, but unlike those thugs, that girl didn't deserve to die.

She felt something warm and wet slide down her cheek and fall off her chin.

"No," she thought, "they can't ALL die."

Chapter 21-A Good Heart

…

"Are you sure it's a good idea to leave her alone?" White Zetsu asked, "Yah." His black side answered, "She wont do anything stupid. She knows we would catch up easy. And then she'd be in for it."

His comments were ignored.

"Ready…" Pein warned, "GO!"

It was a bloody fight.

Kisame cut up the men at the targeted table like they were paper in a shredder.

Loud crunching noises could be heard as Zetsu bit off the heads of his prey one after another.

Meanwhile, Kakuzu's threads scanned stealthily across the floor, occasionally crawling up a body, snapping it's neck, and taking it's wallet and valuables.

Occasionally, he would pull his kill back to where he sat, and tuck it under his arm with the rest of the men and women with bounties on their heads.

Needless to say, blood was splattered everywhere.

The fight was easy, though. It was mere child's play to Akatsuki. But a mission is a mission. So everyone put their all into making this one a success.

So one noticed when Ino re-entered the building.

And no one realized it when she gagged Rinnu and dragged her outside.

No one even noticed when she slammed the door behind herself.

No, they were far too absorbed in what they were doing to notice that young girl with a good heart, doing something she wasn't supposed to, simply for the sake of another.

But, then again, she IS a Konoha kunoichi after all. I mean, what did you expect?

Chapter 22-KATSU!

…

Do-kun!

Do-kun!

Ino's heart beat loudly in her chest.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? PUT ME DOWN! NOW!"

The small woman on her shoulder was angry.

"I can't! Not until we're a safe distance away from that place!"

"WHY THE HELL NOT!"

"BECAUSE IN A MOMENT THAT PLACE IS GOING TO FUCKING BLOW UP!"

Rinnu wanted to ask the blond girl if she was insane.

She wanted to scream and kick and bite until she let her go.

But she didn't.

Something so serious it was sinister lay in Ino's eyes.

Something that told the young waitress her kidnaper was right. That building WAS going to explode.

She didn't know whether to be grateful or scared.

"Go!" Ino shouted once they were at a safe distance, putting the girl down.

"Why? Aren't I safer with you, a ninja?"

"Just trust me!" Ino said, "I'm with the people who are blowing that place up. I have to go back with them, too. If they find out I saved you, they'll be pissed! They'll kill you!"

Her eyes widened. "If you're with them, why'd you save me?"

"Long story." Ino said, "In short, I'm not like them. I don't kill the innocent. I protect them."

Neither said anything for a while.

Finally, Ino spoke again.

"Just go home, okay?"

"Y-yah." She turned to leave, "Thanks." She said.

"Don't mention it. I'm a ninja. Remember? That's what we do."

They smiled, and stared at each other for a while.

Then…

"KATSU!"

A large mushroom cloud filled the sky, and the clouds turned a crimson red.

Rinnu shielded her face with her arms, and Ino turned around to watch the cloud suppress back down to the ground, and into just a dulling fire.

"You were right! It really did explode!"

"What'd you expect? Now get going! I have to get back there."

The redhead nodded. "Alright!" she said, then turned and ran off.

On the way back, Ino felt happiness for the first time that night. Even when she was part of an evil group, she still did something good. And for someone other than herself!

Maybe… Just maybe… she'd be okay.

Chapter 23-Drugs and Sex

…

Upon return, this is what Ino saw:

-A fat Zetsu

-A laughing (in a really creepy way) Hidan

-A money-counting Kakuzu

-A smiling Kisame next to an emotional void (the only one who can kill an entire clan without showing emotion, any guesses who?)

-A now female Konan

-And a… a…WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Lying on the ground, panting and laughing, was Deidara. His hair was messy, and his legs spread wide. (FAN-SERVICE XD UR WELCOME)

He was short of breath, and a quiet, hysterical burst of laughter escaped his lips every few seconds.

"Un! *PANT* that was awesome! Dude, un!"

Kakuzu looked up from his money and corpses. "This is like sex to you, isn't it…?"

"HELL YES! UN! And it's addicting like drugs! IT'S A WHOLE FREAKING PARTY! UN!"

"YOU FUCKING FREAK!"

"Shut up Hidan! I'm an ARTIST! Un!"

"Art doesn't feel good you fucking retard! PAIN DOES!"

"PAIN? A masochist like you couldn't possibly understand TRUE art! Un! It's a BANG!"

"You're fucking insane, you know that, right?"

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Kuzu, don't fucking start that shit again. Seriously. We all know deep down you're just pansy! A fucking GAY softy! And you—OW! STOP IT! ASSHOLE! Get you're threads out of there! NOW! OW! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

Konan covered Ino's under-aged eyes.

"Hawt."

"Shut up Kisame."

"What?"

"Don't play innocent. Hn."

"Fine. But Itachiiiiiiiii?"

"What is it now?"

"You wanta try what they're doing?"

"MONGEKYU SHARINGAN!"

To Ino, it just looked like Itachi and Kisame were having a staring contest for about 2 minutes, then Kisame blinked. "Oh man dude! What a ride!" Everyone's eyes got really big.

No one made a sound save for Itachi. Who mumbled under his breath "Do you see, Sasuke? These eyes are good for more then you know."

Chapter 24-Back At Headquarters

…

They were within a mile of their base when Kisame yelled "STOP!" and everyone froze in their tracks.

"What the fuck is it?"

"I smell Konoha. At OUR base."

Ino's heart dropped into her stomach.

"How many?" Itachi asked,

The blue man sniffed the air. "Five. Not including Tobi."

"I can eat that many all by myself! Don't be ridiculous, we just ate! So? I'm still hungry!"

Hidan glanced over to Ino, and saw the terrified look in her eyes.

"Uh…" he said, "Let me and the girl handle it. I want revenge on Konoha, and it's nothing we can't handle alone."

"Very well." Itachi replied, "Don't keep us waiting."

"Thanks for that." Ino said, as they dashed through the trees. "Don't mention it, seriously. It's about time those fuckers showed up anyway."

"Yah. I guess…"

Hidan stopped.

"This is far enough." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"You're gonna go and meat up with them. I'll tell the others we won, but you didn't make it. So it'll be fine."

"But—"

She couldn't find the words she wanted to say. This was unexpected.

She'd thought over every possible way not to end up fighting against one side, but this… she'd never even CONSIDERED this.

"But what about your 'revenge'? You told them you wanted—"

"I fucking know what I SAID! But it's not worth it. Besides, it's not like those fuckers are worth sacrificing to Lord Jashin-Sama anyway."

"Wow. That's ALMOST nice."

"Don't push it. I'm not a nice guy, got that?"

"Sure. Whatever you say, Mr. Big-Macho-Masochist-Man."

They both exchanged smiles. Then Ino turned to leave.

But he caught her arm, and spun her around, and into him.

Her eyes were wide as she stood there. She was KISSING an AKATSUKI!

Finally, Hidan broke off, and she scowled.

"You're the bad guy!" She said, "And I'm a good guy! A ninja from Konoha! A flower-selling, innocent young girl! AND…"

He raised an eyebrow

"AND THIS IS THE LAST THING I NEED TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW!"

He grinned his signature, handsome half smile at her. "You're right." He said, "Neither of us NEED this." He paused before continuing, "But that doesn't mean we don't WANT this."

Then that silver haired Jashin-ist dashed back into the trees from where he came.

And Ino starred after him, speechless, until he was out of sight.

Then she turned and headed back to the base. Back to where her friends were eager to see her. She'd tell them-she decided-that she was kidnapped but escaped. Yes, that was a good plan.

Her mind was racing as she neared the Akatsuki headquarters.

That place, that even for a short amount of time, was her home.

She could see Shikamaru and Chouji racing towards her. Behind them, were Shikaku and Choza. And in the lead, crying out in excitement was her father.

"INO!" Inoichi yelled, and she returned his call. "DAD!"

Yes, she'd be happy home again. And no one had to know about this. Not her friends, and not her family. No, that would be her little secret. After all, life was just getting interesting. And that was… well… exactly what she wanted.