Title: Poison Ivy

Rated: R

Pairing: MG/EC, KW/EC

Beta Reader: Scotty Welles



Summary: Alternate version of the seventh season

premiere.



Warning: Contains non-graphic slash content. It is

also an alternate version of the seventh season

premiere, so there are spoilers here. I was aiming for

humor on this one,

but it went more toward vulger. *sighs*



Disclaimer: *rolls eyes* Yeah right like I'm really

making any money off these stories. And yes I do know

that they belong to Warner Bros.







Peter paused in the door, smirking wickedly at

Elizabeth's baffled

statement as she rubbed her hands together in

frustration.



"Does it spread?" she asked, anxiously.



Peter struggled against the sudden surge of laughter

that was fighting

to surface at the image of Mark with a very bad itch.

"It depends on

what you touched."



Elizabeth glanced down at her swollen red hands that

were burning and

itching worse than the chicken pox's she'd had in

middle school. The

only thing she'd touched recently was... "Oh dear."

She bit her lip at

the mental image she got.

'Poor Mark.' Although he probably isn't as bad off

as...



"Bloody hell." With alarming realization, Elizabeth

sprinted out of the

room.







Mark glanced around quickly. Satisfied that no one was

paying attention

to him, he began to scratch himself. Softly at first

before speeding up

and putting more pressure on the inflicted area.



He hadn't itched this badly since the night in college

he'd finally

lost his virginity. The night Jen had insisted they

drive up into the

mountains and strip down in the middle of the woods.

The fact that they

had ended up rolling around in the middle of a leaf

patch hadn't even

made it past their lust driven minds until after their

third round. Not

that it hadn't been worth it.



"Something wrong with the Australian's, the boys down

under?"



Mark jerked his hand away with regret. The last thing

he needed was for

the rumor mill in on this little problem. He glared

over at Malucci,

noticing the auburn surgeon rushing into the ER.

"Elizabeth..."



The surgeon came to a halt, looking through him.

"Mark, just the person

I was looking for." She took one last look around

before grabbing

Mark's wrist and yanking toward the nearest exam room.

"What do you

know about something called poison ivy?"



Mark finally ignored his itching long enough to notice

the thick blue

surgical gloves that covered Elizabeth's hands. The

heavy realization

of the implications caused him to grab his pin light

and glance wearily

down his pants.



Elizabeth was curious about how bad it was. After all

if poison ivy

could do this to her hands what would it do to... "Let

me see." Mark

danced back away from her blushing deeply. "Don't be

shy..."



Mark let go of his scrub pants with a loud snap and

started to leave

the room with one last scratch. How could she do

something like this?

Didn't she know that you just didn't do something like

this to a man?



"Don't be mad..."



Mark paused outside the door struggling not to raise

his voice.

"Haven't you ever heard of 'leaves of three, let it

be'?"



"Of course not. We don't have poison ivy in England."



They stopped talking as a smirking Malucci passed.

"One small scratch

for Greene, one giant itch for mankind."



Mark closed his eyes as he heard the soft laughter

coming from the

nurses' station. It was going to be a long day.







"Security!!!!" Kerry ground her teeth together as she

gripped her

crutch and the side of the desk in frustration. She

felt like she was

running a fever and the ER was chaos.



"...said she was just giving him a shot.."



Kerry eyed Haleh, already imaging how many forms of

torture she could

enforce if the nurse didn't get back to work in

10...9...8...



Haleh saw the narrowed danger in Kerry's eyes and

grabbed the pile of

dirty cloths. The short redhead watched with grim

satisfaction as the

large woman scuttled off faster than she would have

thought possible.



"Malik!!!!"



Kerry started weaving through the dirty over crowded

halls as the large

man fell into step next to her. "The toilets are

clogged and the

maintenance closet is locked..."



Kerry glared at him and stopped walking clenching her

left fist against

the insane instinct that was making it hard not to

start clobbering

people with her crutch. "MALUCCI. What the hell is

this body still

doing here?"



Malucci eyed her briefly before deciding to run for

it. "Half of

transport is out sick..."



"Then get someone else to move it or do it yourself!!"



Malik's large size took a couple of steps away from

her until he was

sure he was out of her reach. "Uh, what about the

closet?"



"I don't know, use some initiative. Pick the damned

lock, take a fire

ax to it. I DON'T CARE."



Malik took off before Weaver could change her mind

about shoving her

crutch up his rectal. Leaving her steaming in the

chaos instead. She

closed her eyes against the horrible sensation that

seemed to cover her

entire body. Reopening her eyes, she scanned the hall,

her left hand

diving under the right side of her lab coat.



Before her fingers could find her right breast for

sweet relief, a hand

covered in blue yanked it away. Oh, that was a big

mistake.



Kerry narrowed her eyes at the auburn surgeon. "Let

go, NOW." The low

growl that barely forced its way through her clenched

teeth was more

fierce than her yelling.



"We need to talk," Elizabeth hissed, "...in private."



Kerry eyed the blue-covered hands with renewed

suspicion, remembering

the little peep show Mark had been giving everyone

earlier. Against her

better judgment, she followed the surgeon towards the

only empty exam

room.



Elizabeth paused in the doorway, her eyebrows raising

up in mild

amusement.



Kerry glanced behind her and froze in annoyance as

Malik walked by with

a heavy ax slung over his shoulder. "Malik?



"What?"



Kerry snapped her head after him as he kept going.

"MALIK?"



"Kerry we really need to talk," Elizabeth insisted.



Kerry looked rapidly from Malik's retreating form to

Elizabeth before

finally following her into the trauma room. "All

right, what's so

important?" Kerry was reaching the end of her rope.

She'd had such a

promising start to the day only to end up drowning in

the black hole of

Romano.



"By any chance have you been...itching?"



Kerry took a step toward the nervous surgeon. "Beth,

what's going on?"



"I have poison ivy."



Kerry gaped slightly, digesting that piece of

information. Poison

ivy... "Shit."



"It's not a big deal. I can give you a shot and some

cream..." She

trailed off at the exhausted look on Kerry's face.

"Kerry?"



"I'm allergic to poison ivy."



Any hope at salvaging the day went up with that

sentence. Elizabeth's

stomach dropped to her feet as she realized how bad

things had just

gotten. "Shit."







Mark slowly glanced to his left, then to his right.

Everyone seemed to

be caught up in the massive on flux of patients.

Leaning forward into

the edge of the desk, he subtly began to move his

hips. He felt the

itching starting to subside, but it wasn't enough.

Unable to hold back,

he began to work his hips faster. Throwing his head

back against the

earth-shattering joy that over came his body...



"Would you two like a room, or do you want to just

keeping humping it

here?"



Mark forced himself to stop, meeting Malucci's smirk

head on. One more

crack, just one more...







Kerry growled under her breath as the cream already

began to wear off.

Sneaking a quick look around, she noticed that

everyone was staring at

Mark. Her left hand shot up to her right breast and

began to scratch.

She was never going into the supply closet with *her*

again!







Mark stared over Malucci's shoulder, not believing

what he was seeing.

Why would Kerry be scratching herself in such a

flurry? She acted

almost like she had poison ivy herself. He eyed the

collar of her

shirt, where he could see a red rash peaking out.



No. It just wasn't possible. Where would she have

gotten it from? She

had been on duty all weekend, and the only one's that

had been in the

ER recently with it was him and... No, his mind just

couldn't except

that.



Then why had they gone into an exam room together?







Elizabeth slumped against the wall wearily. They had

just finished

seeing the last teenager. At least now she could think

about going home

and sleeping.



One step after another, she approached the front desk,

grabbing Malucci

as he passed her. "Have you seen Kerry?"



"Dr. Kovac said she was taking a nap in exam three."



Elizabeth started for the darkened exam room, trying

to force down the

guilt. She hadn't known that Kerry was allergic to

anything, much less

poison ivy. If it hadn't been for her cornering Kerry

in the supply

closet earlier that morning, all of this could have

been avoided.



She pushed the door open, pausing long enough for her

eyes to adjust to

the darkened room. Kerry's shadowed body was curled up

on the nearest

bed. Leaving the door cracked open, she moved to the

bed and began to

kiss the short-haired woman.



The soft sigh made her pull away slightly and eye her.

"How are you

feeling?"



"Fine."



Kerry cut off the surgeon's protests with another

kiss. Exploring the

body pressing her back onto the bed. She curled her

fingers into the

mass of auburn hair, holding Elizabeth into the kiss

until she was sure

that she was in too much of a haze to think straight.



She moaned as they were suddenly surrounded by

flashing and light.

She'd heard of hearing a symphonies and seeing stars

but light..?



"Whoa chief...."



Elizabeth broke the kiss, trying to turn around to

attack the little

prick who'd walked in on them. Attempting to untangle

her legs, she

felt nothing but air under her until the floor

connected. Her temper

boiled over as she managed to stare up at a gaping

Malucci.



The sight of Mark staring back in turn cut through the

haze of anger

and passion. His right hand was behind his back and

the glint in his

eyes worried her.



"I knew I should've brought my camera today."



Three pairs of eyes turned to Malucci and watched as

the young resident

got a door slammed in his face.







Mark stared at the black coffee with a small smile.



"How can you be so cheerful after Lizzie breaking up

with you for

Weaver?"



Mark chuckled softly, for once not caring Romano had

just sat across

from him. "Kerry's allergic to poison ivy and almost

totally covered in

it."



"Still..."



Mark laughed hard, nearly spilling his coffee. Unable

to resist, he

pulled a small disposable camera from his coat pocket.

"Malucci may

have forgotten but I didn't, and by tomorrow afternoon

every hospital

in Chicago will have copies."



Romano grinned at the other bald man. "Not bad."