Breaking Dawn: A Synopsis

Bella and Edward get married! They have sex which shockingly leads to Bella's pregnancy. Edward has no blood flow, so how could he have had an erection? This plot hole is ignored however, like the eighteen million others found in the series. Edward is worried because he thinks the child, who is growing at a startling rate, is killing Bella. However, Bella already loves the kid, and refuses to have an abortion. Edward agrees to keep the baby after he realizes her active conscience, which was far more advanced than that of a normal unborn baby.

Bella "gives birth" to the baby after a few days. The child rips her stomach open, the first and most gruesome action to occur in all four books. Edward is forced to change Bella into a vampire to keep her from dying. The poor baby is given the name Renesmee, although Jacob dubs her Nessie. Bella becomes a very self-controlled newborn vampire with the power of protecting her's and others' minds and Nessie finds out she can communicate by sending her thoughts out. Jacob imprints, or falls irrationally in love with the baby which is not in anyway pedophiliac or disturbing. Everyone is happy because it means that the hundreds of years of hatred between the mutated vampires and 'werewolves' would be forgotten.

The happiness does not last however. Somehow, news of Nessie travels to the Volturi in Italy, and she is mistaken for an "immortal child", a child turned vampire. Immortal children are uncontrollable and were therefore outlawed by the Volturi. The Volturi, who must have been quite bored, decide to make a big fuss about them and set out to kill the Cullens. In response, the Cullens gather their own mutated vampire army and prepare to battle. This is dragged on and on. In the end, no fight even happens and the Cullens all live happily ever after.

Also, someone finally has enough brains to correct the misnomer 'werewolves'.

The End