Title: Until We Meet Again
Author: Ashley
Rating: T
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Ship: Reid/Morgan
Summary: What if Reid hadn't found the cure for the anthrax strain after he had been exposed in 'Amplification?'
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, The song history in the making, or either of the poems used in this story. They all belong to their respective owners, I am just borrowing them for now.
Warnings: Character Death
Author's Notes: This is a dark angst filled fic, as per the request of my third contest winner canny uncanny. Congratulations on your win, and inspiring the series that will continue after this story.
"Reid!" Morgan sped up when he saw his partner, and lover. But was shocked when the glass door slammed in his face.
"Morgan, get back! Get back!" Reid's face was pleading, frantic. "Get out of here! Please!" the last word was desperate.
" No! What are you doing?" Morgan put his hands on the glass.
"No, no!"
"What's wrong?!" It was Morgan's turn to be frantic.
"No! No! Please step back." Reid pressed his hand flat against the door, lining it up with Morgan's.
"No! What's wrong?" Morgan moved for the door handle, and felt the tears well up in his eyes as Reid locked the door. "Reid, open the door." They stared each other in the eyes, dark brown meeting golden ones that were wide with fear, panic, and love.
"I'm sorry." That's when he saw it: the anthrax vial smashed on the ground, and the vent blowing. His baby had been exposed. He put his forehead against the glass, never breaking his eye contact with his lover. Reid pressed his forehead too, keeping his hand against the glass lined up with Morgan's hand.
"Get out of there Baby."
"I can't I can't open the door, you know that." Morgan closed his eyes. Fighting back the tears. "The cure might be in here."
"You better fight it Pretty Boy. Fight it hard. Find that cure, and get the hell out of there. I'm not going back home without you." Morgan lowered his voice as much as possible for Reid to still here him. "I can't and I won't."
"I know. I'll make it baby." Reid didn't know who he was trying to assure, Morgan or himself. So he settled for tapping the glass lightly, causing Morgan too open his eyes and meet Reid's. They leaned forward at exactly the same time, their lips lining up exactly through the glass.
"I have to go call rescue and Hotch. I'll be back Babe." Reid nodded, and kissed the tips of his own fingers and pressing them gently to the glass. "I love you Spencer."
"I love you too Derek." As he watched his lover leave, Spencer pulled out his phone.
"Office of supreme knowledge, you are speaking to the all knowledgeable." Spencer sighed, word hadn't quite reached Garcia yet. He quickly explained what was going on, and calmed her down when she freaked out.
"Garcia, listen, I need you to do me a favor."
Derek Morgan bowed his head when he stepped up to the headstone. "Spencer Reid was a man of many talents. He had the ability to see the good in the world, even though we always saw the worst in people." Derek took a deep breath, and made no attempt to stop the tears, as he met the eye's of every one of his team. Even Jason Gideon and Elle Greenaway were there. "He was filled with a child like innocence, and he made our lives brighter just by being himself."
"He was a God send, someone who you could rely on for a useless bit of information to lighten the mood." All of his team was crying, shamelessly. "He was also the love of my life, the very core of my existence. I counted on him more than I ever thought possible to count on another person. We faced the horrors of our job together, and it was one of the greatest pleasures in my life to just hold each other at the end of a long day.
"Spencer gave his life to save me, and the rest of our team. Reassuring us the whole way." Morgan met Diana Reid's eyes, and was startled that they were surprisingly dry, although she was clutching a picture of her son tightly in her hand. "I will never forget the look on his face when he looked me out of that lab, and told me he would find the cure and make it back to me. Never forget our last kiss." Morgan took another deep breath. "Spencer died a hero, with his information, we were able to save the lives of countless people." He neglected to mention, that he would have given anything to have Reid back with him.
"The child-like man Spencer was something we should always cherish, and hold close to out hearts." Morgan cast his eyes skyward, and continued. "I'll always love you Spence, no matter what you will always have a place in my heart and the hearts of our family." Another shaky breath, unable to stop a sob from escaping his lips. "I love you." With his final words spoken, Morgan stepped away from his lover's headstone, and walked back over to his team, his family.
Garcia stepped forward and put her hand on the headstone, holding herself and her head high as the tears poured off her face in a constant stream. She hadn't stopped crying since she had gotten off the phone with Reid when he first called her. The young woman had been shocked when Morgan asked her to speak at the funeral, but he had asked everyone too, had even asked JJ to sing as they laid the roses on the casket.
"We thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday, and the day's before that too.
We think of you in silence, and often speak your name,
Because all we have are memories, and your picture in a frame.
You memory is a keepsake, with which we'll never part.
God had you in his keeping, but we have you in our hearts."
When she finished the simple poem, she too cast her eyes skyward. "I'll never forget you Spence, you'll always be a part of me." And I promise you I will always take care of him for you, just like you asked me too, Baby. With her piece said, she also stepped back to the comfort of the team, allowing Hotch to make his way forward, he would be the last one to speak, seeing as Elle, Gideon, Emily, Dianna, and JJ had all spoken before Morgan.
"Reid was an asset to my team, and a very good friend. I mentored him constantly, and treated him like family." Hotch was steady as he stared his team down, but none of them were fooled, the could see the tear tracks on his face. "I too will always miss him, and hold him close to my heart." JJ stepped forward, a piece of paper clutched in his hands. "As I am the last one to speak, the team want to read this poem for Spencer."
JJ started:
"Each morning when we awake, we know that you are gone. And no one knows the heart ache as we try to carry on." Tears spilled over JJ's eyes, as Elle slowly stepped forward and took the paper from JJ, continuing where she had left off.
"Our hearts still ache with sadness, and many tears still flow. What it meant to lose you, no one will ever know." Garcia stood slowly, as she was the next to read, and surely looked at Derek, stepping forward to continue.
"Our thoughts are always with you, your place no one can fill. In life we loved you dearly, in death we love you still." Emily also stepped forward, pulling Rossi with her. She spoke first, her voice loud and clear, even with the tears in her eyes.
"There will always be a heartache, and often a silent tear, but always a precious memory of the days when you were here." Only on the last word did her voice finally break, and David took his place alongside Hotch, as Gideon stepped up, all of them holding on to each other as Morgan stood and took his proper place alongside his family, all of them drawing strength from one another as they bravely faced the crowd. The white roses stood out in all of their hands.
Rossi spoke, his hand on Morgan's, unlike Emily and much the same as Hotch, Garcia, JJ, and Morgan, his voice was think and slow. "If tears could build a staircase and heartaches made a lane, we'd walk the path to heaven and bring you home again."
Gideon took the paper from Hotch's hand's and read his verse slowly, with a thick voice. "We hold you close within our hearts and there you will remain. To walk with throughout our lives, until we meet again." Hotch took the paper back, and the rest of the team went to sit down.
"Our family chain is broken now, and nothing will ever be the same." Hotch was careful to meet Mrogan's eyes, "But as God calls us home one by one, that chain will link again."
Slowly claps started in the crowd, and everyone present was marveling at the closeness of the team, most definitely a family. "Our team was not just a team, our team was and is a family. Our family will never be the same without Spencer, and that's a fact. But he would also say that we could learn from his death and make the best of it.
"Spencer wouldn't want us to mourn him, but rejoice in the life he lived, and carry on with ours." Hotch sighed deep, composing himself for their final respects. "That doesn't mean we will ever forget, but we will carry on as a family, and I will make sure of that, because that is what Spencer Reid would have wanted." Everyone close to Reid, the team and his mother, stood with white roses in their ands as the priest said the final words.
The smooth white casket was slowly approached by the team as, one by one, they placed their flowers on it, each giving their own sign of farewell. JJ went first, and then stepped away. Her rich voice soon filling the cemetery as the mourners stood respectfully. The team and Diana were the only one's near the coffin. Kristin Chenoweth's song, Borrowed Angel's filled the cemetery, and eventually all the mourners, save for Diana and the team, had left.
Respectfully, the team made their way to the single limousine waiting for them, they all agreed that they would arrive and leave as a family. Morgan was the only one left by Reid's casket, clutching at his chest. He leaned over, and pressed a gentle kiss the smooth wood, leaving tear drops on the shiny surface.
"You promised me Pretty Boy, that I wouldn't ever go home without you, I hope you keep that promise, and watch over all of our family, we are going to need you." Placing his rose on top of the others, and pressing another gentle kiss to the wood while muttering a soft 'I love you' Morgan made his way back to his family, who were all waiting dutifully by the limo.
Later that night, after all the guests had gone Garcia approached Morgan, a CD clutched in her hand. It broke her heart to see her brother in so many ways looking so broken, but there was nothing she could do about, they had all lost a brother in Reid and Morgan had lost so much more.
"Derek?" He looked up at her and she stepped forward, gently taking the brandy glass from his hand. "I made this for you… There is something on here that Reid asked me to give you. I tried to make it as special as possible for you." Derek took it from her, and motioned for her to sit beside him.
"Will you stay and watch it with me?" Garcia nodded and watched as he got up and put it in the DVD player, settling back on the couch before hitting play.
At first, he thought it was a blank disk because al that came up was a blank screen, but words started to appear slowly. "Keep the memories close to your heart, Derek." The screen went black again, and a picture of Reid laughing filled the screen, along with his voice filling the room.
"Derek-" The slideshow continued, accompanying the voice in speakers. "I asked Penelope to do this, because as much as I want to believe it I don't think I'll be getting out of this alive. I just wanted to have the chance to tell you once more how much you mean to me.
"You are my world, and I keep thinking about everything I wanted us to have. When I first saw you, I knew that you were my future my only future." A small video clip played, the whole team during the Christmas party, three years ago. Hotch was smiling and laughing merrily. 'Ooh! Guys guess what?' Morgan smiled at Reid's excited voice and the brilliant smile on his face. 'What Reid?' Morgan and Garcia smiled at each other, knowing what came next. Reid pulled Morgan to his feet and dragged him under the mistletoe, and crushed his lips to the older agents. The couples first kiss.
"I lied to you when I promised you I would get out of here, because I really don't believe it myself. I hoped we would have more than three years together, because really, I wanted to spend my life with you." Gently, quiet music started playing along with Reid's words. Morgan recognized the song, but couldn't quite place it.
"I don't want you to stop living your life if I die, I want you to remember the love we shared and the family that loves us both very much." Morgan could hear the soft change in Reid's voice as he started to cry. "I never wanted to leave you this way, I wanted us to grow old together and I'm so sorry that this is what it's come to." Morgan could hear the disgust in his love's voice.
"Leaving you a recorded message while I'm dying." The voice lowered to a whisper, and Morgan realized he was holding tightly to Garcia's hand. "God I'm sorry it had to be this way, but I will never regret the decision to walk ahead while you were on the phone. I'm glad I did, I don't know what I would have done if you were in that lab with me.
"Just know that I'll always love you, and I need you to know that I love you, in death still. Love you Derek, always and forever." Derek sighed as the slideshow continued, and the soft music kept playing, he recognized the song as their song. The song that had played on the radio the first time they had made love, and frequently played all the other times as well, the song that Reid had asked Morgan to play as he was dying in the hospital bed.
"This could be one of those memories
We want to hold on to, cling to,
one we can't forget
Baby, this could be our last first kiss
The door to forever
What if this was that moment
That chance worth taking
History in the making"
Morgan wiped his face and eyes furiously, trying to take the tears off as the final chords of the song played. He looked over at Garcia, who had his hand in her lap and more tears in her eyes, they looked at each other and they both reached for a hug at the same time.
"I miss him like crazy Baby Girl."
"I miss him too, Derek, we all do." Garcia put her forehead on Morgan's shoulder and sniffled.
They sat like that until Garcia finally fell asleep, and when she did Morgan found that he couldn't cry anymore, he felt like it, but the tears just wouldn't flow.
Derek tightened slipped out from under Garcia and slipped his sneakers on, intent on going for his run. He whistled for Clooney, and the dog came slowly. Morgan could tell that the dog missed Spencer.
When he got outside, he started out a steady jog but soon he was pounding the pavement hard, and his breath was coming in harsh spurts. Even Clooney was having trouble keeping up. Unconsciously, Morgan found himself running in the direction of the cemetery, and he slowed, walking toward Spencer's grave slowly.
Tying Clooney to a bench leg, he sat down on the ground by the fresh dirt.
"I got your message today, the one you asked Garcia to give me." His voice stuck in his throat. "And I just wanted you to know, that I love you too. And that I wanted to marry you.
"I really miss you Pretty Boy, it's hard going home with out you, and it's even harder knowing that you'll never walk through our front door again." With trembling fingers, Morgan traced the words on Spencer's headstone, before kissing the tips of his fingers, and pressing them against the cold stone. Letting his hand linger for a moment before slowly standing and preparing to leave.
"Always and forever Spencer. Always and forever." With one final look at the headstone, Morgan walked away from his old life.
Spencer Reid
Beloved son, friend, and lover.
March 9, 1985 - September 18, 2009