Sam's Secret

Author's Notes: I don't own iCarly or Until We Bleed. This is for MaybeSeddie from YouTube to her "Toxic Relationship" video. It works better if you watch it at the same time.

Chapter 1: The First Signs

I have known Freddie for a while, but looking at this text from him, I'm surprised. "I got a text."

Freddie comes out of his door and smiles. "Who's it from?"

"You," I read it.

"So it is?" Freddie seems amazed I'm just seeing it now.

"You love me?" I ask. Inside my mind I'm laughing, but somehow I know he's serious. "I love you too," I say as I point my cell phone at him. "I've gotta go meet Carly."

I hear him laugh as I leave. It's not the normal 'I hate you' laugh though; it's the 'I love that girl' laugh.

Three months later…

Lights black…

I raise my eyes at him. "Hi."

Heads bang…

"Why are you late?" he asks.

You're my drug…

"I was with Carly," I defend myself. Lately, Freddie's been acting… different. I'm not sure if I like this different.

We live it…

"What?" he walks up beside me.

You're drunk…

"WHAT?!" he repeats, pushing my arm.

What was that for? I think to myself. All I said was that I was late. Isn't everybody late to dates sometimes? He was late to one I scheduled last week, but I didn't get on him for it.

You need it…

He can read my expression, and so he apologizes and holds my hand. I'm not really sure if I believe it.

Real love…

"Freddie," I say with tears in my eyes. "Why are you mad at me?"

I'll give it…

"Ugh," he rolls his eyes. "Nobody's late on my dates!"

So we're bound to linger on…

I can't believe Freddie, my beloved Freddie, is getting on my case for just being late to a date. He wasn't like this three months ago.

I could stay, but I don't want to deal with more verbal abuse from my supposed true love Freddie.

"Yeah, you better run!" Freddie yells at me as I walk out. He follows me with more discouraging words. "Because nobody is late for one of MY dates. If they are, they deserve nothing in life. And you better not think about breaking up, or else you'll never find somebody better."

I stop for a moment, and just stare at him with a dead expression. He freezes as well with the same angry expression he had a moment ago.

I stare at him with a face that has so many meanings; sadness, anger, confusion. What has happened to him?

We drop the fatal drop…

I remember when we used to play fight. He would smile, I'd smile back. He was always happy the moment I was there. It was the ultimate spark, everything was perfect. What went wrong?

Then love until we bleed…

I took his hand and dragged him to dance. I had to be the one to save this relationship until it left me. It's always the girls who are supposed to save it after all, right?

"I'm still mad at you, you know?" Freddie says while he holds my waist during the slow dance.

"I know," I kiss him anyway. It feels just like it did on January 3rd when we had our first kiss. I don't want the love that we've always had to fade.

After all the times we've kissed, all the times we've gone on dates together, why give it up just for one little thing that anybody could have done?

Then fall apart in parts…

But apparently he wasn't feeling the same thing. "I don't care. There's the door," he pointed.

"I know where the door is," I say angrily.

"Ah, well how should I know anyway," Freddie comebacks. This whole thing just gets worse by the minute. "You are a girl, their brains rarely develop past cooking and cleaning after all."

Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, "Yeah, how would you know, Freddie? You never know anything." I can't believe I just said that, but there's nothing else left to say. So I leave. "See you in school tomorrow."

You wasted your times…

It's been one day, full of a sleepless night, little words to anybody, and rewinding everything that had happened.

I look through my backpack, finding the things he's touched, hoping to find some sort of escape through memories of the past. However, just when I find any little source of happiness, he pulls me away from my backpack.

On my heart, you've burned…

"What are you doing?!" He yells.

"Looking through my backpack!" I cry. "Is that good enough for you?!"

He slaps me in the face. It hurts in two ways; it hurt physically, as well as mentally. He has hurt me in every way possible and yet I feel the need to stay. Why is that? I don't know. Is he doing all of this on purpose?

And if bridges gotta fall, then you'll fall, too…

"What's going on?" A familiar voice asks.

We both turn to face Carly, whose face is beyond concerned. "Sam?"

The last time Freddie and I said anything about being together, I was telling her how happy I was that I had finally gotten a boyfriend. I had been pretty much jumping off the walls with happiness at her house, she was afraid I was going to jump forever.

Now though, seeing me like this; she doesn't understand. She's probably thinking 'why is Freddie hitting Sam? Aren't they supposed to be dating?'

I know I have to tell her everything. I don't want to though. Even to your best friend, it's hard to admit you're in an abusive relationship. Especially when you love that person more than anything in the world.

Sam's Secret